<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>FE3H: Stay Safe by MomoMoose</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861518">FE3H: Stay Safe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MomoMoose/pseuds/MomoMoose'>MomoMoose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>FE3H: Stay- [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Anti-Hero, Blood and Injury, Break Up, Cheating, Dark, Enemies to Friends, Fights, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Triangles, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Multi, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reunions, Romance, Secrets, Self-Hatred</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:27:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>88,431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MomoMoose/pseuds/MomoMoose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After having saved the infected from the magic spell, there is only one thing left to do; find out who's in charge of the monastery and get rid of them.</p><p>Meeting up with the rest of his Golden Deer first is a must, and after that, finding a way to get back inside the monastery to finish the job. </p><p>But after finding out that nothing ever goes the way Claude wants, it can be stated as a fact that these two things will not go as planned.</p><p>Together with his friends and his two lovers, he has to find a way to save Fódlan, once and for all. Preferably without drowning in his feelings, relationships and responsibilities.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/Claude von Riegan, Hapi/Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc, Linhardt von Hevring/Lysithea von Ordelia, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/Claude von Riegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>FE3H: Stay- [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HELLOOO welcome to part 2 of my FE3H Stay- series</p><p>This part will be the direct continuation of part 1, so if you're new to my fic, please check out part 1 first.</p><p>Besides that, if you came from part 1 and you're still here to find out how the fic ends, THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's been eight days since our battle with Solon. In all honesty, it doesn't really seem like so much has changed, despite that we quite literally saved a country. </p>
<p>We spend most of our time training with Byleth in the back of Remire Village, where most houses are vacant now. A lot of the villagers have left after we made them aware that the infected are gone now. </p>
<p>We're not leaving yet though, because Dima is still recovering from his eye injury. Byleth told us he'd have to take it easy for quite some time, so we're giving him all the time he needs. </p>
<p>Also because he still needs time to get used to the fact that his vision has disappeared on one side. </p>
<p>"This sucks." Lysithea sighs once more as she plays with her food. </p>
<p>Despite that the 'outside world' is safe again, the staff that worked here in the retirement building for the elders have decided to stay here and take care of their patients. So we've been making use of that to have our food here before and after our training. </p>
<p>Since we pretty much saved them from the infected, and also from Flayn, the residents here have been extremely friendly and hospitable towards us.</p>
<p>I sigh as well. "I know, but there isn't much we can do about it." </p>
<p>What sucks? Well, the fact that Byleth has told us we're not allowed to leave until Dimitri's better. Not like we want to leave him behind, but I'd like to go find the rest of my Deer soon. </p>
<p>Normally we'd have enough people to form a small rescue squad of, but Dimitri, Linhardt and Sylvain are pretty much out of order. </p>
<p>Linhardt's still keeping up that he's not coming to the monastery with us, and Sylvain's been spending most of his time doing what he does best; skirtchasing. </p>
<p>Even Felix rather spends all of his time sparring with Byleth, rather than helping us out. </p>
<p>"We could just sneak away," Lysithea suggests. </p>
<p>I snort at that. "You know very well that we can't. We've been training with Byleth every day. He knows something's up the second we don't show up." </p>
<p>In these eight days that we've been here, I think it's safe to say that we've gotten a lot closer to each other. After everything we've been through together, it'd be weird if we didn't. Even with Byleth, the one guy I really couldn't get along with at first. Turns out he doesn't try to hide his thoughts and emotions, he's just completely incapable of showing them.</p>
<p>And not just friendship-wise. Yuri, Dima and I are doing much better in a relationship than I could have ever expected. </p>
<p>Dimitri tends to get a bit jealous whenever Yuri and I are annoying each other, but that's easy to fix with a kiss and some loving words. </p>
<p>And Yuri doesn't always appreciate that I tend to cling to Dima more than him, but whenever I do try to cling to Yuri, he finds me annoying. </p>
<p>Needless to say, I'm still trying to find my perfect balance between dividing my love and attention. At least they're both patient enough to allow me some time to figure it out. </p>
<p>"Do you think that if we run, Byleth would be able to catch up to us?" </p>
<p>Lysithea gasps at that. "Actually, Raphael, that might not be such a bad idea! Although we're not running, let's just call it a headstart. What if we leave at night?" </p>
<p>"We can't. I'm sharing a bed with two hyena's. The second I move, I get asked where I'm going. From both of them." </p>
<p>She rolls her eyes and sighs once more.</p>
<p>I honestly expected everyone to be very much against our three-way relationship. But in the end, no one really cared about it. They were a bit apprehensive of it at first, but both Yuri and Dimitri were very clear to them that they didn't mind at all. </p>
<p>And I got nothing to complain about, since I'm literally on the top of our triangle. I very much enjoy all the attention they give me, as well as returning it to them with everything that I am. </p>
<p>Long story short; we work. </p>
<p>"How about you tell them you're going for a midnight snack? Eating is always a good reason!" </p>
<p>In Raphael-land maybe. </p>
<p>"Or just tell them you're going to the bathroom or whatever. There has to be a way for us to get out of this village and look for-" She immediately stops talking the second Yuri approaches our table. </p>
<p>"Yeah, I think a sword looks great on you. Remember when we learned about those swords infused with magic?" I hate that Lysithea always goes completely silent when she gets caught talking about something sneaky. </p>
<p>Good thing my brain works fast enough to switch subjects within a second. </p>
<p>"Yeah, sure. I'll just pretend I didn't hear that extremely unsubtle change in subjects," Yuri says as he puts down a plate in front of Raphael. </p>
<p>Raph's eyes grow huge at the sight of more food he can eat. "More meat! Nice, thanks Yuri!" </p>
<p>"Wow, you're really getting the hang of cooking food. That looks amazing," Lysithea compliments. </p>
<p>"Yeah. I never thought I'd have a knack for it, but here we are. And Dedue's been a great teacher too, credits go to him. Hope you enjoy the food, Raphael." He sits down on the chair next to mine and rests his warm hand on my thigh. </p>
<p>"Oh, I will!" Raphael shouts before he starts to dig in.</p>
<p>Yuri's only now been learning a lot of things we would consider normal. I never thought he'd be so behind on almost everything, especially because he's so intelligent. </p>
<p>After hearing we come from the monastery, Yuri decided to finally spill the beans to Dima and me about where exactly he's from as well. Turns out he'd been living underneath us the whole time. </p>
<p>Apparently, there's a whole community built right under the monastery that's called the Abyss. Long ago, when the monastery was founded, it was used as some sort of prison or hideout for what they considered were thugs, criminals and outlaws. </p>
<p>After Lady Rhea had lost her life, the new Rhea stepped up and she used the underground people as guards to defend the underground passage we'd been looking for. They were supposed to make sure that only those with authorization left the monastery, and that only those came back inside. </p>
<p>Yuri's life had started out being the son of a woman who prostituted herself in exchange for goods and other things that were hard to come by in Abyss. He never knew who his father was, his own mother didn't even know.</p>
<p>Either way, his mother was completely unschooled, leaving her incapable of teaching her son basically anything. The only things Yuri learned to do from her, was steal, deceive and manipulate. </p>
<p>Because Yuri's reputation of being the son of the prostitute spread like wildfire, a lot of men wanted to get their hands on Yuri as well. That's how Yuri learned to fight for his life. </p>
<p>As Yuri grew up, it was already becoming rather apparent he'd turn out to be the beauty he is. He knew that too, so he used that to the full extent to get his way with many people. Mostly those who were in charge of handing out food, medicine and other items to the residents of the underground. </p>
<p>Obviously, they'd been giving out shit to the normal people while keeping the good stuff for themselves. For that reason, Yuri intermingled in their business with his pretty face and snarky mouth, to the point where he had gotten full control over the goods that were given to the residents. </p>
<p>He did divide them properly and fair amongst the people, leading to a huge amount of followers that listened and started to work for him. It wasn't long until he became the absolute ruler of the Abyss, with only a handful of people he knew he could trust, and a large amount of people he had to lead, protect and take care of. </p>
<p>That handful of people he could trust, he left behind with his tasks. Right now, they supposedly are still guarding the passage, while protecting the residents and taking care of them. </p>
<p>Yuri had left them behind for the sole purpose of going outside and finding out the truth about everything. Funny thing is, one of the elders in Abyss had told him about me. He'd seen how I was brought inside and that I wasn't from this continent. That led him to believe there had to be something outside, so he told Yuri about it. </p>
<p>It's strange, how fate actually brought Yuri and me together like that. </p>
<p>"So, why are you leaving the village?" Yuri asks Lysithea. </p>
<p>Her cheeks start turning a pink color, which makes it impossible for me to cover it up with a lie. </p>
<p>"We, uhm… We just thought we should…" </p>
<p>"We want to go and find our other friends," I say in her stead. </p>
<p>Yuri raises an eyebrow at me. "Now? Dimitri hasn't recovered yet." </p>
<p>"I'm aware. That's why we wanted to go with just the three of us. We'll be fine, there's no more infected anyway." </p>
<p>He furrows his eyebrows. "You want to leave the rest of us behind?" </p>
<p>I lay my hand on his on top of my leg. "We're coming back. Obviously. I just really want to see them again." </p>
<p>"And," Lysithea adds. "They could use some training with Byleth too. And it just feels wrong to leave them out there while here, there's actual houses with bathrooms and such." </p>
<p>I snicker at that. I can only imagine Lorenz and Hilda begrudgingly washing their hair in the cold river while the rest of us has a hot bath almost every day. </p>
<p>"I'm honestly surprised you're still here. If those had been my friends, I would have gone to find them right after Solon died." </p>
<p>"I would have gone to find them right after Solon died," I repeat in a mock voice. "Well, Yuri, maybe some of us do listen to other people's advices rather than doing whatever we want." </p>
<p>He looks at me with the most unimpressed eyes I've seen on him yet. It takes everything I have not to burst out laughing right now.</p>
<p>He sighs before he turns his head away from me. I can just see from the shaking of his shoulders that he's laughing at me. Asshole. </p>
<p>"God, you're such a child. But if you're serious about finding them, I think I can cover for you with Byleth. I'll just tell him you three came down with food poisoning from something I cooked wrong." </p>
<p>"What, really?" I can't hide my enthusiasm.</p>
<p>I share a look with Lysithea and she looks as excited as myself. </p>
<p>"But," he adds, "you're going to talk that over with Dimitri first. I don't want to have to explain why I'll be snuggling with just him tonight." </p>
<p>The idea of them snuggling together makes my heart swell. Wish I could be there to see it. Maybe next time. </p>
<p>"Alright, sounds fair. I'll go talk to him after training. I'm sure he's still asleep now anyway." </p>
<p>He nods. "Yeah, probably. Does anyone want some more food?" </p>
<p>Both Lysithea and I shake our heads. We had our share earlier and it's already getting pretty late. We gotta get to Byleth to start our training. </p>
<p>"Raphael, you're not getting any," Yuri says before Raphael can swallow his food to speak up. </p>
<p>"Aw." </p>
<p>I'm happy to see Raphael back to his old self. It took a day before the magic had left his system completely. He even said that he felt like he didn't have full control over his body at times. </p>
<p>I don't even want to ask how many times Byleth's experienced that since the spell was released. </p>
<p>But both of them are fine again, which is a great relief. </p>
<p>"Alright. Have fun training then. I think Dedue and I will join you guys a bit later, since breakfast is still being served right now." He stands up from his chair and gives me a kiss on my lips before he walks back into the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Isn't it weird?" Lysithea suddenly asks me. "To be with two people, I mean." </p>
<p>I think about it for a second. Weird? Definitely. At least at first. I'm already pretty used to it now. </p>
<p>"Well, sure. It was a lot weirder in the beginning, but since Dimitri and Yuri don't mind, I guess it's become easier for me to get used to it as well. It probably looks weird to all of you, doesn't it?" </p>
<p>She nods. "Just a little. But at the same time, we don't really understand how you feel about them both. I always thought you'd forever be loyal to Dimitri, but when he attacked you, it's not so strange to understand you didn't feel safe with him anymore. And well, Yuri's got that part covered pretty well." </p>
<p>"Too true. Although Dimitri and I have been working on our relationship too. I can tell he really feels terrible about what happened. He's always been extremely sweet and sappy, and that's only become worse now. I can't say I mind that though, Yuri's not sweet at all." </p>
<p>She chuckles at that. "I know what that's like. Liking someone who can't even say anything nice seventy percent of the time." </p>
<p>That makes me chuckle too. Apparently the date I set up for Linhardt and Lysithea wasn't as much a success as I'd hoped. At least Yuri and I got the cake down, so that was a plus. </p>
<p>"Alright guys. I'm done eating, so we can go train now!" Raphael gets up to put away his plate while Lysithea and I head to the hallway. </p>
<p>Together, we make our way to our self-proclaimed training grounds. It's quite a walk, but that way, our muscles have already warmed up a bit. </p>
<p>"I hope Byleth will let me wear armor again today. It was great exercise for my muscles!" </p>
<p>"It's pretty warm today, so I doubt that. I'm glad you found something you like though," Lysithea comments. "Although I'd never want to be an armored unit myself." </p>
<p>"Me neither," I agree with her. "Much too heavy. Byleth actually told me that if I'd been his student back then, he'd have me be a wyvern rider." </p>
<p>"You'd want that? Sit on a wyvern?" Lysithea asks. </p>
<p>I nod. </p>
<p>I would like that. Too bad that almost all wyverns in Fódlan have gone extinct because of the Remire Village calamity. Most of the still existing breeders are in Almyra though, so perhaps one day, if I ever get the chance to go back.</p>
<p>She shudders in response. "No thanks. I'll just walk myself." </p>
<p>"Yeah, same here. I didn't train these legs to sit on a flying beast all day!" </p>
<p>I huff a laugh. I guess not everyone is suited to be in control over a dangerous animal like a wyvern. It would take a lot of practice, but it'd be worth it. In my opinion, at least.</p>
<p>We reach the training grounds, where a few villagers are watching Felix spar with Byleth. They're both using swords, but it's not difficult to see who's got the upper hand here.</p>
<p>Byleth is much more experienced than Felix and it shows. While Felix is already out of breath and has rather sloppy movements, Byleth doesn't seem worn out at all. He even has the audacity to look at us while casually blocking one of Felix' attacks. </p>
<p>That's teach for ya. </p>
<p>"Hey, teach! Doing great!" </p>
<p>He nods in acknowledgment before he turns his attention back to Felix. Seems he's actually been going easy on him. With one swing of his arm, Felix' sword flies off to somewhere, leaving Felix disarmed within a second. </p>
<p>"Let's take a small break," he says before he lays down his own sword. </p>
<p>Oof. </p>
<p>He then approaches Raphael, Lysithea and myself. </p>
<p>"Is Sylvain not with you?" </p>
<p>I shake my head. "I honestly haven't seen him since yesterday morning. And Linhardt even longer than that." </p>
<p>He just nods. "Claude, you're doing quick target practice again today. I already set up everything, so all you need is your bow and arrows. I'll come check on you, so don't slack again." </p>
<p>"Right. Sorry." I hate that he caught me right when I was going to have a nice afternoon nap. </p>
<p>"Lysithea," he addresses her. "I'd like for you to help Felix study Reason. I know he has a talent for it, but he just sees a sword as his only weapon. Please talk some sense into him." </p>
<p>She nods. "Of course, professor. Leave it to me." She then approaches Felix, who is being fawned over by some village girls. </p>
<p>They say people always get what they don't ask for. Poor guy, he has no idea what to do with all those girls. But I guess calling them names and cussing them out could work. </p>
<p>"Raphael, I want to try something with your arm today. You up for some strength training?" </p>
<p>"I'm always up for strength training! Bring it on professor!" </p>
<p>His arm? His cut-off arm? What could he possibly want to do with that? </p>
<p>Oh well. I guess it's time for target practice. Good old, boring target practice. I've done this so many times in the monastery already, I'm sure I could hit the targets with my eyes closed. </p>
<p>But that's a pretty decent idea… </p>
<p>Maybe I can think of other ways to make this more challenging for me. Like firing arrows while hanging upside down. </p>
<p>If I could pull that off, it might work as a great counter attack. Dodge first by doing an airflip and shoot while doing it. And then land back on my feet. </p>
<p>Perfect! </p>
<p>I get to practicing my unusual ways of hitting the target. I'm sure even Byleth would be impressed when he sees me do this. </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>"Can I please know what you're doing hanging from a tree?" </p>
<p>Ah. I was wondering when he'd show up. </p>
<p>"I'm doing target practice, like you told me to." </p>
<p>"Upside-down?" </p>
<p>"That's right." I shoot another arrow and unfortunately, I miss my target. Of course, I've actually been doing great before he came along. </p>
<p>"I don't perform well under pressure. Please leave," I tell Byleth. </p>
<p>"Archers need to perform under any circumstances. Do you think archers get to sit out in a battle when it's a windy day?" </p>
<p>"Do they?" </p>
<p>"Get down from the tree." </p>
<p>Fine. I drop my bow on the grass below me before I pull myself up on the branch I was hanging from. As soon as I manage to sit up, I jump off the branch and land onto my feet. </p>
<p>Ouch, that was a pretty hard blow for my legs. </p>
<p>"There's a reason why I told you to work on your attack speed." </p>
<p>"Argh, I know. I just wanted to make practice more fun for myself, you know? I've done this sort of training for years, I know how to hit a target by now." </p>
<p>"Attack speed, not dexterity. Get to work." </p>
<p>"Fine. Understood." I could be difficult, but I'm the one who asked him for help, so it'd be terribly bratty not to listen. </p>
<p>Still, I'm glad to have a small break from him after today. Really glad. </p>
<p>I'll keep hitting the targets, but more quickly. Archers need to perform under any circumstance, after all. </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>"Alright, Claude. That's enough for today. Good job." </p>
<p>Byleth's words are an absolute blessing for once. </p>
<p>For the first time, I actually trained hard today. I figured, since I'll be missing a few days, that I could get some extra work done. But boy, does my shoulder hurt now. </p>
<p>"Ah, perfect. I was wondering where you were at. You have good timing, I was actually starting to get hungry." </p>
<p>A teeny tiny smile graces his features, which really surprise me. "Me as well. Let's collect the others and get dinner." </p>
<p>"You got it!" I take my bow and the arrows with me, because I'll be taking them along when we leave tonight. </p>
<p>I know there aren't supposed to be any infected anymore, but one can never be too careful. </p>
<p>When we reach the others, I can see Raphael trying to untie some sort of sac from his arm. </p>
<p>"What'd you do with Raph?" I ask Byleth. </p>
<p>"I tried to have him practice with gauntlets." </p>
<p>Gauntlets? As in those aggressive mittens? So he practically tied a gauntlet to Raphael's arm as an extension of some sort? That's pretty damn genius. </p>
<p>I can imagine Raphael, armed with one aggressive mitten on one arm and a giant axe in his other hand. That'd be hella terrifying.  </p>
<p>"Raphael, time for dinner!" I call out. </p>
<p>Where he was being a bit slow, trying to uncover his arm from the protective sac around it, he suddenly speeds up tremendously at my words. </p>
<p>I get the feeling that this is how Flayn managed to fool him too. Just bribe him with food and he'll do anything. </p>
<p>Poor guy. Good thing we only have good intentions with him. </p>
<p>I can see Lysithea and Felix heading towards the elder's building already, so we'll catch up with them there. If I can see correctly, Dedue, Annette and Yuri are with them as well. </p>
<p>I hope Sylvain and Linhardt are coming too. It's too bad that Dimitri can't leave his bed yet, but at least they can join us every meal.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Dinnertime is always much crowdier than breakfast. It's such a hassle every single time. </p>
<p>Despite that almost everyone is nice to us now, it's still free for all when it comes to getting a table. Elders are really not as nice as they look. Snatching tables wherever they can and telling us 'youngsters' to eat somewhere else.</p>
<p>It's a good thing Yuri and Dedue are practically kitchen personnel now. It's given us the privilege of getting to sit near the kitchen. </p>
<p>"Hey, Yuri? Can you make an extra plate for Dima? I'll go give it to him now and talk with him about tonight." </p>
<p>"Yeah, of course. Just don't leave without telling me." </p>
<p>I roll my eyes in a fond way, which I know he still doesn't appreciate. </p>
<p>"Stop acting like a brat and tell me you won't leave without telling me." </p>
<p>"Yeah, sure. I promise. Just get into the kitchen already," I tell him with a smile and a wink. </p>
<p>"Be careful or I will poison your food, pumpkin." He grabs my butt and squeezes it before he follows after Dedue into the kitchen. </p>
<p>God damn it. My cheeks start burning up every time he does something like that around other people. Especially these judgmental elders. </p>
<p>I can almost count the disapproving looks, but I've decided that I won't pay them any mind. We'll be leaving soon again anyways and I'm not planning on returning to this place ever again.</p>
<p>There's way too many bad memories for me here. </p>
<p>We all sit down around the same table. I'm a little disappointed that Sylvain and Linhardt aren't here again, and I can see I'm not the only one. </p>
<p>Lysithea keeps looking at the entrance, probably hoping Linhardt's sleepy face will make an appearance. </p>
<p>And despite Felix' attitude, I can tell he misses his buddy. He's been much quieter since Sylvain keeps leaving us in favor of dating and hooking up with random girls. </p>
<p>It's time we leave this place and get to business. I'm sure that Linhardt will change his mind about not coming with us once he realizes he'll be all alone once we're gone. </p>
<p>Or possibly when he realizes that staying here would almost certainly mean that any relationship with Lysithea becomes a no-go. She's made that very clear after their argument during their date. </p>
<p>I'm shipping them so hard. Why can't they just get together already? Such children. </p>
<p>After a few minutes, Yuri approaches me with two plates with hot food. "Here. And give Dimitri a kiss from me." </p>
<p>That causes me to chuckle. "Will do. I'm sure he'll like it." </p>
<p>I give him a kiss on his cheek before I inform the others about my plan of heading to Dima so he won't have to eat alone later.</p>
<p>"Okay, see you later," Lysithea tells me with a smirk. </p>
<p>I smile back at her. I glance over at Raphael too, but he's too busy munching to notice. </p>
<p>"Bye guys." </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>As always, I knock on Dima's door before I enter. It's not like I feel like he's doing anything shifty, so I don't have any need to burst into his room like a madman. </p>
<p>I don't receive an answer though, so I'll enter his room anyway. He's probably sleeping if he's not answering. </p>
<p>"Dima? Hey, I brought you dinner." I shake his shoulder gently after setting away the plates of food. </p>
<p>"Mm, huh? Claude?" His eye opens slowly as he keeps having to blink in order not to fall asleep again. </p>
<p>"Yeah. That drug is really doing you bad, huh?" He's been receiving the same medicine Dedue and Annette had been drugged with, but with more reasonable doses. </p>
<p>"It really is," he agrees. "Did you practice again today?" </p>
<p>I nod as I settle on the mattress next to him. "Yup. I tried something new today but Byleth scolded me for it. I still practiced it though and I'm going to show him how cool I am." </p>
<p>He chuckles softly. "I'd like to see that too." </p>
<p>"You can come watch. Here, open your mouth for a second." I approach his face with the fork I put some food on. </p>
<p>I remember him saying he can't taste anything. Does that also mean he doesn't have foods he likes and dislikes? </p>
<p>After I successfully got the food into his mouth, I take a bite from my own food as well. Yuri really did great again. </p>
<p>Ah, speaking of Yuri… </p>
<p>I lean in towards Dimitri to give him a kiss on his lips. He blinks at me, surprised at my sudden gesture of affection. </p>
<p>"That was from Yuri. He told me to give you a kiss," I explain. </p>
<p>He smiles fondly. "That's nice of him. Can I have a kiss from you too though?" </p>
<p>"Only after you finish this plate. I didn't bring dessert so you'll have to settle with moi." </p>
<p>"That's much better than any dessert anyway." </p>
<p>We chit-chat about training and some residents that caught my attention while I'm feeding him his food. </p>
<p>I'm aware that he's not crippled and that he should actually be practicing his hand-eye coordination, but I know he doesn't like doing that when I'm around. </p>
<p>I keep laughing whenever he accidentally sticks his fork into his lip or cheek, which causes his food to fall all over him. I try not to laugh, of course, but that only makes it worse. </p>
<p>"I've had enough. Thank you." </p>
<p>"What, already? Your plate isn't even finished yet." Nevertheless, I still put away the plate. </p>
<p>And even if I'm not full yet, I still put away my own plate as well. It's time for dessert now. </p>
<p>I half crawl over his legs to sit in his lap, facing him. "Normally, boys who don't finish their plates, don't get to have dessert."</p>
<p>"Is that so? That's not how I was raised. I could actually skip dessert one day so I could have two on the next. I remember not getting one yesterday," he whispers. "So either way, I deserve a dessert today." </p>
<p>Damn. Can't argue with that logic. I also don't even want to argue with that logic. His lips look soft and inviting, so I bring my lips over to his. </p>
<p>I rest both of my hands on his shoulders while his hands run over my sides. Eventually, they settle on my hips, gripping and squeezing them. </p>
<p>"Mm, that's nice," I tell him with a low voice before I lean in again for another kiss. </p>
<p>After learning that I'm not a good kisser, I asked both Dima and Yuri to teach me how to be better at it. I think it's safe for me to say that confidence was the key. </p>
<p>Where I'd normally wait for Dima to lick my lip to let me know he wants entrance, I now lick along his so he'll grant me entrance instead. </p>
<p>He eagerly parts his lips for me, but I decide to tease him a little by sucking and biting on his lower lip, which draws a soft moan from his throat.</p>
<p>Since his mouth is opened wider now, I see that as my que to dive in. Our tongues entwine immediately as soon as I enter his territory, leading to some sort of tongue-battle for dominance. </p>
<p>Since ultimately Dima can overpower me whenever he wants, I'm the first to give in. Also because I like to be manhandled more than I'd ever admit. </p>
<p>Especially to Yuri, because god knows what he'd do to me once I verbally let him know I like how dominating he is. </p>
<p>His tongue enters my mouth and he's back to being the gentle, thoughtful kisser. Dima is never one to keep up a fight or argument, always trying to solve it by being extra sweet to either myself or Yuri. </p>
<p>He's such a teddybear. An evil looking, intimidating teddybear with an eyepatch. And I love it. </p>
<p>I move one of my hands from his shoulder to massage his scalp instead. His hair is getting pretty long, to the point where he can probably tie it. </p>
<p>"Mm, can I-" I pull my face off his so I can talk. "Can I tie up your hair? Or braid it?" </p>
<p>He looks a bit flustered at the sudden request, but he still nods. "Of course. You can do anything you want with me." </p>
<p>That's music to my ears. "Perfect." </p>
<p>I feel like I'm forgetting something. What was I..? </p>
<p>But before I can give it more thought, Dima's lips slot together with mine again. His hands have travelled a bit lower meanwhile, now gently kneading the soft flesh of my asscheeks. </p>
<p>I wrap my arms around his neck, which allows me to push my body completely against his. I could just sit here and kiss Dima for hours and hours. </p>
<p>Ah, that's right. I can't because I'm planning to leave tonight. I want to look for my friends. </p>
<p>Once again, I pull away from his lips. He makes a soft protesting sound, but still allows me to pull away from him. </p>
<p>"I just remembered that I have something to discuss with you. You see, I want to go look for my other friends and bring them here. But since Byleth doesn't deem it okay for anyone to leave while our training hasn't been completed yet, I'm gonna have to sneak away at night. I was just wondering how you feel about that." </p>
<p>His face slowly returns to its normal pale skin color, rather than the sweet pink he was before. What a shame. </p>
<p>"Well, if you want to go, I'm not going to try and stop you. I'm pretty sure you'd find a way, even if I disapproved. I just wish I could come with you, rather than sit here and wait for you to come back." </p>
<p>He got that right. Once I get an idea, it's pretty hard to distract me from it. I'm still glad he understands though. I really don't want to have an argument about this with him. </p>
<p>"Thank you. I'll probably be leaving tonight, so let's make most of our time together." </p>
<p>He nods eagerly before he pulls me into his arms again. And this time, I have no intention of pulling away from him anymore. </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>"Do you really have nothing better to do than cling to each other and suck each other's faces?" Yuri asks as soon as he stepped into the room. </p>
<p>Dima and I break our kiss so I can answer.</p>
<p>"Actually, we took breaks too," I defend. "To catch our breaths and drink some water." </p>
<p>Yuri just sighs at that though. "Did you at least talk it over with him?" </p>
<p>I nod. "And I gave Dima your kiss too." </p>
<p>"Great. Scoot over and make some room for me. I'm tired." He pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his bare upper body. </p>
<p>Compared to the first time I saw him this way, he's really changed a lot. He's looking much healthier, and might I say, hotter, than back then. He gained quite some weight, but he's not really there yet. At least, not what he should be. </p>
<p>I still think he's very attractive though. </p>
<p>Before he can put on a shirt, I call out to him. "Can you like, not wear a shirt? For me? Since I'm leaving tonight." </p>
<p>He turns around to give me a questioning look. "Aren't you already busy?" </p>
<p>I roll my eyes. "Aw, come on. I'll get busy with you too if you don't wear your shirt." </p>
<p>He huffs. "Like I said, I'm tired. I don't have the energy to keep up with you right now. Do you have any idea how tiring your infinite amount of energy is?" </p>
<p>Bummer. </p>
<p>"Fine then. Be like that. At least Dima would never reject my affections." I turn back to Dimitri so he can prove my statement by kissing me again. </p>
<p>"Yes, I know. Why do you think I'm okay with you being with Dimitri? He gives you the things I can't." </p>
<p>"You're saying it wrong. He gives me things you don't want to give me," I correct. </p>
<p>"No, I'm saying it the way it is. It's really just- You know what? I'm too tired for this. Move your cute butt over." He quite literally pushes me off Dimitri's lap so he can lie down next to Dimitri.</p>
<p>"Wow, moody." I manage to scramble back upright. </p>
<p>He's not usually so tired that he backs away from an argument with me. </p>
<p>I share a look with Dimitri, but he looks confused too. </p>
<p>Well, at least he still called my butt cute, so it's not like his grumpiness is directed at me. Maybe I can cheer him up a little. </p>
<p>I crawl back over Dimitri's legs to try and wriggle myself between their bodies. Yuri's turned his back towards us during my maneuvers, but I won't let that get in my way. </p>
<p>"Claude, I'm tired. Leave me be." </p>
<p>I'm tired, leave me be, my head mocks his words. I think he really wouldn't appreciate it if I said that out loud now, so I'll do it in my head. </p>
<p>"That's fine. You don't have to do anything, just let me take care of you." I'm not even sure what I should do yet. </p>
<p>He hums and sighs, not wasting any more words on me. Just as well. </p>
<p>I look at Dima with a look that hopefully tells him about my current dilemma.</p>
<p>"Uhm… How about… a m-massage? Maybe it'd help destress him a little." </p>
<p>Bless this man into heaven. </p>
<p>"Yuri, can you lie on your chest?" </p>
<p>He groans in irritation, but still does as I say. I'm not gonna lie, a grumpy Yuri is still amazing. It's actually adorable, but I'd never tell him that. </p>
<p>I pull the blanket off him, while ignoring his protests, in favor of sitting on his hips. I rub my hands together to warm them up a little before I start gently pushing my palms into his lower back. </p>
<p>I'm so attracted to backs, like I don't even understand why. Just his broad shoulders, his lean muscles, those dimples in his lower back… God damn. </p>
<p>And his skin is so incredibly soft. I want to mark his shoulders with my hickeys, but I decide against it. I'm giving him a massage, not a makeover. </p>
<p>I'm not sure how long I'm massaging him, but my fingers are getting sore, so I decide to stop. Yuri's soft snoring indicates he's been sleeping for a while now anyway. </p>
<p>When I look at Dima, even he's fallen asleep again. Oh well. I'll just head to Lysithea and Raph to tell them I'm ready to go tonight. </p>
<p>I'll make sure to get some sleep after. </p>
<p>Crawling over Dimitri or Yuri is really the worst thing about lying in the middle. I just hope I won't wake either of them up by moving too much. They both need to rest. </p>
<p>I manage to step off Yuri's back without stirring him too much. Perfect. </p>
<p>As quietly as I can, I open and close the door after I stepped into the hallway to visit Lysithea and Raph. </p>
<p>Good thing I visited them both before. I'd hate having to search for their rooms now. </p>
<p>I knock twice on Lysithea's door. I feel like she was already expecting me, given she answers her door within three seconds after my last knock. </p>
<p>"Can we go?" </p>
<p>I nod. "Yeah, they're both okay with it and I'm pretty sure Yuri will cover for us." </p>
<p>"Perfect. I'll start packing a bag. Pick me up when we're leaving!" </p>
<p>And she's gone, just like that.</p>
<p>Oh well. Onto Raphael. </p>
<p>I knock twice on his door as well. It takes a bit longer before he opens, but he looks excited to go out too. </p>
<p>"How'd your conversation go?" </p>
<p>"It went great. We're leaving tonight, so pack anything you need. We might be out there for a while."</p>
<p>I know I don't need to tell Lysithea that, but I want to remind Raphael of it. Just in case. </p>
<p>"Sure thing! Uhm… how do you want to go about our departure?" </p>
<p>I smile at him. "Don't worry about that. I'll come pick you up." </p>
<p>"Ah, perfect. Thanks, Claude! Good night." </p>
<p>"Good night, Raph." </p>
<p>Time for me to start packing as well.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>I run over my mental checklist one more time. Backpack; packed and ready. Weapons are repaired. </p>
<p>All I need to do now is wake up Yuri before I leave, then get Raphael and Lysithea and then we can go. </p>
<p>I'm so excited, I don't even think I'll be getting any sleep. We're finally going to see my Deer again. I can't wait to hug them and talk to them again. To tell them everything that's happened to us. </p>
<p>Man, it's been so long. </p>
<p>I take off my own shirt and pants before I crawl over Dimitri's legs to get to my favorite place in the world. </p>
<p>Between Yuri and Dimitri's warm bodies. Yuri's chest flush against my back while I wrap my arm around Dima's middle. </p>
<p>I sigh with content. I love this warm feeling, both physically and emotionally. </p>
<p>I'm going to see my Deer again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi hiiiiii here's another chapter!</p><p>Hope you enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Falling asleep was terribly difficult, but I managed to after about two hours of lying awake and being excited. </p><p>And of course that led me to oversleeping. Just great. </p><p>I jolt up in my bed, waking up Yuri in the process. At least I don't have to go through the trouble of waking him up anymore.</p><p>"Ah, fuck me. I completely overslept." The sky is even already getting lighter. </p><p>"I doubt you have time for that now, since you're already late," a groggy voice mutters. </p><p>I gently slap Yuri's ass for that.</p><p>"Do that again, but harder." </p><p>I can't even stifle a laugh. "You're an idiot." </p><p>I crawl over his body, but not without planting a kiss inbetween his bare shoulderblades. To let him know I don't really find him an idiot. I discovered that Yuri's intellectuality is kind of a sore spot when insulted. </p><p>Not so weird, given he's capable of doing so much more than he can do right now, simply because he's been lacking in opportunities and experience. </p><p>I head over to our wardrobe where I grab clean clothes to put on. Good thing I washed up yesterday, at least it's not too gross if I skip now. </p><p>Why, oh, why did I oversleep now? I'm the idiot here. </p><p>"D'you need help?" Yuri asks. </p><p>I really like his voice when he just woke up. It's hoarse and groggy and amazing. </p><p>"Nope. I prepared everything last night. Thanks for asking though." Good thing I did, imagine how much more time I'd be wasting if I still had to pack my bag right now. </p><p>Yuri sits up, but I can barely see his dark shadow in this barely lit room. "Make sure to pass by the kitchen before you leave. I busted my ass off making you guys food last night." </p><p>"You did?" I guess this is why he was tired then. </p><p>"Do I have any reason to lie?" </p><p>"I suppose not. Thank you." I walk over to him to give him a kiss of gratitude. </p><p>Something's off about the way he kisses me back.  </p><p>"I'll be fine," I assure him. I know he hasn't said anything, but I think I know he's worried about me. </p><p>"You'd better. I swear to god, if you don't come back…" He doesn't finish it and honestly, I don't even want to know what he'll do. </p><p>Not him, but especially not Dimitri either. These two would be terrifying together if they both got angry.</p><p>"I will. You won't even notice I'm gone," I reassure. "And I'll bring more people you get to order around, how's that?" </p><p>His stoic face shifts into a smile at my words. "Sounds perfect. Just be careful, you're not in a hurry." </p><p>I nod and give him one more kiss before I start putting on my boots. I need to get my ass in gear, or Lysithea will never let me hear the end of it. </p><p>I grab my bag and head out the door to the hallway. "Sorry, gotta hurry," I whisper to Yuri before I walk off. </p><p>I knock on Lysithea's door first again. Only once this time, because the door literally flies open before I can collide my knuckles with the wood another time.</p><p>"What's taking you so long?! It's already morning!" </p><p>Well, damn. "If you'd still been sleeping, you wouldn't have noticed." </p><p>She sighs loudly while rolling her eyes. "Go to Raph, I'll catch up right after I grab my things." </p><p>I nod before I do as she says. </p><p>I knock three times on his door. How easy it would be if he was awake and ready, just like Lysithea. </p><p>"Raph? It's time to go." </p><p>I wait a few seconds for any reply, but all I hear is a faint rumbling coming from behind his door. </p><p>Ah, the good old snoring. </p><p>I open the door and enter his room, where morning light becomes more apparent. </p><p>Crap. We don't have much time left to get out of here unnoticed. The kitchen staff is probably already up and busy. </p><p>"Raph! Raph, come on, wake up!" </p><p>Another loud snore is the only response I get. </p><p>"What are you doing? Hurry!" Lysithea whispers at me from outside Raphael's room.</p><p>Ugh, I know! </p><p>"Raph. Uhm… Yuri made us food. We'll be taking that with us instead of rations." That's right, bribe him with food. Works every time. </p><p>His snoring grows a bit softer, so I continue.</p><p>"I'm sure he made a big package with meat, just for you. But if you want it, you're gonna have to wake up now, before I get it for myself." </p><p>Even though I hate meat.</p><p>"I want the meat!" He shouts before as he jolts awake. </p><p>"Oh my god, be quiet!" </p><p>Sorry Lysithea, it's the only way. </p><p>"Alright, Raph. We're ready, so let's go." </p><p>He nods and jumps out of his bed to gather the things he wants to bring. </p><p>"Alright, I'm good to go!" </p><p>We exit Raphael's room and head back towards mine, since that's the shortest route to the kitchen. </p><p>When we get to my hallway, Yuri's standing outside our shared room. </p><p>"Aw, you came to see us off." Not gonna lie, that feels nice. </p><p>He rolls his eyes and says nothing before he grabs my hips to pull me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and squeeze. A quiet reassurance. </p><p>"Can't I come with you?" He asks with his face buried in the crook of my neck. His breath tickles a little. </p><p>"No, I need you to cover for us. Have a little faith in me, will you? I got my friends all the way here and we survived. I think we'll manage." </p><p>He lifts his head to look me in the eyes. "I do have faith in you. I just have a bad feeling in my stomach, I don't know how to explain it." </p><p>"That would be diarrhea, sweetheart." </p><p>He sighs loudly. "Why do I even bother? Get outta here, pumpkin," he says before he kisses my lips for the last time. "Before I change my mind." </p><p>"Sure. Try to behave while I'm gone." </p><p>He shoots me a glare before he returns back inside our bedroom. </p><p>A bad feeling, huh? That doesn't even make sense. The infected are gone, what could go wrong? </p><p>"Well then, shall we?" I ask my two companions. </p><p>"Yes, finally. It's weird, being with just you two," Lysithea ponders aloud. </p><p>"Yeah, I'd say. But I'm still excited, the Golden Deer will be complete again after this trip!" Raphael exclaims. </p><p>True that. We'll be together again. And when we bring Ingrid over, what's left of the Blue Lions will be complete again as well. </p><p>"Can we change our squad's name to the Reunitorers?" </p><p>"Absolutely not," Lysithea answers immediately. </p><p>"I'd say Reunionerers would be more fitting!"</p><p>I laugh loudly. What is that even?  </p><p>"Raphael, no! We're not changing our squad's name into something ridiculous," Lysithea persists. </p><p>"Okay, how about Golden Boyscouts?" </p><p>"Denied," she answers. </p><p>"Golden Beefcakes?" Raphael tries. </p><p>"Just stop! No squad names!" </p><p>She's really no fun at all. </p><p>I share a look with Raphael. "I like Golden Beefcakes," I whisper. </p><p>He smiles and gives me a thumbs-up. I love this guy. </p><p>.</p><p>After we subtly snuck into the kitchen to look for the food Yuri left for us, we head outside. No one's stopped us thus far, and I'm confident no one will.</p><p>Our friends are still sleeping, and I'm pretty sure we saw Byleth head towards our training ground to set up everything for another day of training. I'm feeling kinda guilty for bailing on him, but this is something we need to do. </p><p>It's something we should have done much earlier, if I'm being honest. But the fact that we all got injured during that last fight has been holding me back. Now, at least everyone's back to full health. </p><p>And well, the idea of sending the uninjured into that dense forest just didn't sit right with me. That would have meant sending Annette and Linhardt in here. </p><p>I cringe at the idea of having left them with such an important job. </p><p>After this week full of training, I have much more faith in everyone, but especially myself. </p><p>I daresay I'm much better with a bow now that I've actually been taught by a professor. Time will tell though, if I'll ever need these skills. </p><p>"Who would have thought we'd actually get away with doing something sneaky like this?" Lysithea asks. She sounds all giddy and excited. </p><p>How cute. </p><p>"Well, I've gotten away with many sneaky things before, so I can't say I'm too surprised," I answer.</p><p>"Hey, same here!" </p><p>Lysithea and I both take a moment to just stare at Raphael. </p><p>"What are you looking like that for? I used to send Ignatz to get a plate full of food, knowing he wouldn't eat that much himself. Guess who got the rest?" </p><p>I laugh loudly while Lysithea shakes her head. Raphael really is an amazing guy. </p><p>We're currently walking down the street that's both the only entrance and the only exit to this town. It won't be too long until we'll reach the forest. That's where things will get tricky though.</p><p>"Do you ever think about anything other than food or training?" Lysithea asks Raphael. </p><p>"Of course! I've been thinking a lot about our friends out there. I really hope they're all okay. And I think about my little sis constantly! I know she's in good hands in the monastery, but I really want to see her again. She's the only family I got." </p><p>Damn. That hurts me right in the feels. And here I kept thinking we're not under any time pressure. I'm sure everyone wants to see their families again soon. </p><p>"I-I'm sorry. That was really insensitive of me," Lysithea mutters in embarrassment. </p><p>"Hey, it's fine. Cheer up! If I'm being honest, you sometimes remind me of her. She's incredibly stubborn, just like you!" </p><p>"And, I take it back. I'm not sorry anymore!"</p><p>The image of Raphael's little sister kinda disturbs me. I can't help but see this supposedly little sis, but probably still taller than almost everyone. Paired with giant biceps and a happy smile, just like Raphael's own. </p><p>Yup, definitely disturbing. </p><p>Lysithea then turns to me. "So, are we going to start looking in the village in the east?" </p><p>I nod. "Yeah, that was probably the safest place for them to stay in, so I'm hoping they're there. If not, I'll have to think of other places where they could be." </p><p>Now, we know how to get to the village. It's not that hard. We pass through this forest, then cross the large field of grass and the village will be right in front of our noses. </p><p>It's just this forest I'm worried about. The first time we entered these woods, all we were worried about were the infected. Never once has it crossed my mind that there could actually be more and other dangers in here. </p><p>Pretty stupid of me, but we'll just have to be more careful this time around. </p><p>"Let's walk a bit further so we can at least see the river. We won't get lost as long as we follow it, but we're gonna need to be more wary of wild animals. Especially because it's full on spring now, so they'll have babies they need to protect and such." </p><p>"Oh, right. Good of you to say that. Last time when we came through here, the bears were still holding their winter sleep. It's likely that they're awake now," Lysithea fills in. </p><p>Ah, bears. Just great. </p><p>"Bears are no challenge for me! I'll take 'em down by myself!" </p><p>Lysithea rolls her eyes. "No, Raphael. The safest thing to do would be for me to scare them off with a weak magic spell. It won't hurt them." She eyes me and I smile at how considerate she is for me. "But it will hopefully cause them to leave us alone." </p><p>I don't want to disturb the wildlife here, after all. And thankfully, Raphael got a box with meat, so there's no need for him to go hunting now. </p><p>"Perfect. Let's proceed with as much caution as possible." </p><p>They both nod at me as we keep walking towards the river. As soon as it comes into vision, we approach the tall trees while following the streaming water. </p><p>"We should probably stray from the water a little once we're inside the forest. It could attract large animals," Lysithea warns. </p><p>I'm glad she read that book about animals and plants that exist here. If she hadn't, who knows how many possibly fatal mistakes we could have made? </p><p>"Thanks for the heads-up, because I was planning on just following the river." </p><p>She grins at me. "You're welcome." </p><p>Now, into the forest we go. </p><p>For some reason, Yuri's words keep circling through my mind. What did he have a bad feeling about? Am I missing something? But if he knew why, he surely would have told me what it was about.</p><p>He wouldn't let me just walk right into danger without warning me, right? </p><p>Maybe he's just angry that I wouldn't let him come along. But even then, it doesn't make sense. </p><p>I just hope he and Dimitri can get along while I'm not around. They've had a few arguments already, which mostly resulted in Dimitri apologizing, but I wonder how long Dimitri can keep that up. I want all three of us to be happy in this relationship, otherwise it won't work. </p><p>Ugh, Claude. There are a million other things to be focused on right now instead. Stop worrying. </p><p>"Ew. Is that… a dead body..?"</p><p>I follow Lysithea's gaze towards a heap of clothes and rotten skin. </p><p>I try to hold back a gag at the disgusting smell that's coming from it. "Yeah, looks like it. I think the whole forest is probably filled with bodies from dead infected. Let's just keep walking." </p><p>She makes a face at the idea, but follows after me nonetheless. I don't like the idea of coming across more dead people, but it's better that they're lying down instead of attacking us. </p><p>"What if they're only faking it? Maybe they'll jump at us once we get too close," Raphael mutters. </p><p>Lysithea's head snaps back towards Raphael. "Don't say things like that! It's impossible, the spell is gone. If they're still moving around, that only means they're still alive." </p><p>That'd mean we'd have to help them. Good thing Lysithea knows how to properly heal now. </p><p>"Wait. We're getting too far from the river, I can't hear the water anymore." All I can hear is the whistling of birds and numerous bugs buzzing around my head. </p><p>We move closer to the water again, but we make sure that the river stays out of sight. If any bear is in there, trying to catch fish or whatever, at least it can't see us. </p><p>"I'm so happy we can finally see the others again. It's been like two weeks now, right?" </p><p>I nod at Raph. "Yeah, something like that. Maybe even longer than two weeks. Either way, I'm happy too. All that'll be left after that, is getting back into the monastery and finish off Rhea and Seteth. Or whoever they really are." </p><p>"They have been working with Solon. You don't think they've received word about what happened, do you?" </p><p>Hmm. I wouldn't see how that could have happened. We even got rid of Flayn and I doubt any of the other villagers knew about the monastery. And even if they received word of it, what could they possibly do? They can't leave the monastery. </p><p>I just shrug, which leaves Lysithea with a thoughtful look and furrowed eyebrows. </p><p>"We'll have to wait and see once we're back inside." That's really the only thing I can say about this. </p><p>We can keep forming theories about what's happening right now, but we'll never know for sure until we see for ourselves. </p><p>.</p><p>"How long have we been walking? Was this forest always so big?" Lysithea's been dragging her feet since a short while ago. </p><p>I think it's time for a break. </p><p>"Yeah. Remember how long we'd been stuck in here? Even after we split up from the others?" Even though that was mostly my fault for being stupid. </p><p>"I suppose that's true. But we also wasted a lot of time in here. For example, take the whole day we were waiting for you to come back from your walk with Linhardt and Dimitri." </p><p>"That was for a good cause!" I defend. "We'd have wasted that day anyway, because Sylvain and Felix were in a terrible shape. There wasn't any difference in you waiting in our camp or theirs." </p><p>"There so was," she counters. "At least we'd have understood why you hadn't come back. We were so worried about you!" </p><p>Yeah sure, worried. I'm sure she was just mad that she wasn't around Linhardt when he could have shown her how to heal Sylvain and Felix. </p><p>"Do you miss him?" I ask. </p><p>Her cheeks start burning up. "W-who are you talking about? I don't miss anyone!" </p><p>Right. I'm sure she doesn't. "Feign ignorance all you want, I can see right through you. You should kiss already." </p><p>"Claude! Oh my god, can you not?" Her cheeks burn up even brighter and I love the sight of it. </p><p>"And hold hands on your dates," I add. </p><p>"Oh! And you should share a cake! You like cake, right?" Raphael mingles in as well. </p><p>"Stop! You're both so annoying!" </p><p>"That's the Golden Beefcakes for ya!" </p><p>Raphael gives me a high-five at that and we both grin at Lysithea, who's trying to cover her red cheeks. </p><p>"We're doomed to fail," she mutters before she finds a spot to sit down. "Can we rest our legs for a bit? I'll be fine again in just a bit." </p><p>I nod. I could use a break too.</p><p>I take a water bottle from my bag and take a few gulps. The weather is getting warmer. I love it. But when I look at Lysithea and Raphael, they don't seem to appreciate the increase in temperature as much as myself. </p><p>Lysithea is busy tying her hair up in a ponytail and Raphael as a sweat stain on his back where he'd been carrying his bag. </p><p>"I wanna visit the beach with everyone." I didn't mean to say that out loud, but Lysithea's eyes start to sparkle at the thought, which makes me glad I said it anyway. </p><p>"That sounds amazing! I've read about the ocean so many times, I really want to visit! Please tell me we can go one day!" </p><p>I smile. She's still so pure, despite how much she's been through in her fifteen year old life. </p><p>Is she still fifteen though? I don't remember her birthday. </p><p>"Hey, Lysithea? How old are you?" </p><p>She glares at me and I can almost feel my spirit leave my body. "What, do you think I'm too young to go to the beach or something?" </p><p>Ah right, bad timing to be asking that. "No, nothing like that. I'll take you to the beach if it's the last thing I do. You, along with everyone else." </p><p>Her glare shifts into a small smile. "Actually, I turned sixteen on the twenty-eighth of February. You probably still thought I was only fifteen, didn't you?" </p><p>"Well, yeah. Sorry for missing your birthday." That was right before we received our graduation test, so she can't really blame me for missing it. Still though, I'd like to make it up to her. </p><p>"That's fine, really. We didn't even know each other back then. When are your birthdays?" </p><p>I look at Raphael. If I missed his birthday too, I'd like to know that first before I forget again. </p><p>"The eighteenth of May, actually! I wanna celebrate it with all of you and we'll have lots of food!" </p><p>That's in about a month, I think. What date is it even?! I completely lost track of time since we came outside. </p><p>Let's see, it was around March tenth that we were sent outside. Then we had to stay out for three days, so that makes thirteenth. Then, I got knocked out. How long was that? No idea, so let's say one day. After I woke up, we went to the village, where I was sick and useless for three days. So we're March seventeenth now. Then after that, we left for the forest, where we spent a day looking for Dima. </p><p>Then, Dima joined us for one day? I think? And that's when we found Ingrid, where we spent another day healing them. March nineteenth. Then we travelled and split up, after which I got attacked and stayed down for another three days. I'm sensing a pattern here. After that, we reached the village and we spent a day fighting Byleth and listening to Flayn. March twentieth. Then the Happening happened and I got locked up in the tiny jail for four days. The day after that, it was the twenty-fifth of March. </p><p>Since then, we spent eight days training plus this one day, so is it safe to say it's the beginning of April now? I really have no idea. Probably something like that. </p><p>"What about you, Claude?" He asks. </p><p>"Ah, I'm a summer baby. Twenty-fourth of July is my day." </p><p>I need to ask everyone else's birthdays as well. And I want to throw a feast for every birthday I've missed since being out here. </p><p>I get up again and pull my bag back onto my shoulders. Raphael does the same, but Lysithea stays seated. </p><p>"Hey, small mastermind. Stop imagining Linhardt in swimming pants and get up. We gotta keep moving." </p><p>"Huh? I wasn't- Claude!" She hurries to scramble back upright to give me a slap on my arm. "Stop saying that stuff already!" </p><p>I just snicker and Raphael laughs along loudly. She's got it so bad for him, yet she's so bad at hiding it. </p><p>"Let's keep walking. It shouldn't be too long anymore before we've reached the other side." </p><p>.</p><p>It was, in fact, about four more hours before we reached the other side. Ignatz taught me how to use the sun to estimate what time it is, and it's a bit past noon before the edge of the forest becomes visible. </p><p>"You're really a great liar, Claude," Lysithea grumbles. She wipes her forehead to rid it of her sweat. </p><p>"Thank you, I don't even try." </p><p>Raphael just swats away another mosquito that was threatening to bite him. He also looks like he could use some refreshment. </p><p>"Should we take another break? I don't want you guys to collapse on me." </p><p>"We can cool off in the river over there too. Let's just keep moving for now. We'll manage, right?" </p><p>"Of course! A bit of heat is good for my muscles!" Raphael answers. </p><p>I'm sure they really want to see the others, but we gotta keep an eye on ourselves too. "Why don't we cool off first, recharge a bit by eating and then continue? I'm serious, you both look like you're about to collapse." </p><p>Without waiting for their protests, I lead them towards the sound of the streaming water. </p><p>"Okay, then don't listen to us." </p><p>I shrug and I can hear her exasperated sigh from behind me. </p><p>"I just care about you guys, what's so bad about that?" </p><p>"You care about us, but not our opinions and- aah, this feels good," she says as she splashes some water in her face. </p><p>See, I know what's good for people. It's not for no reason that I can easily keep two boyfriends happy at the same time. </p><p>Raphael takes off his shirt to soak it in the river to wash out his sweat stains and simultaneously cool off when he puts it back on. </p><p>I'm not bothered by the temperature as much as my sore feet, so I decide to sit down and stay on the lookout. </p><p>We haven't seen a lot of animals aside from a few deer, rabbits and birds. And that's okay. Despite that I'd like to see a bear just once in my life, I really don't wanna have to fight or run from one. </p><p>I take the box with food from my bag. My heart swells at the thought that Yuri put in so much effort for us. He's actually that motherbird kind of person, which I really didn't see coming at first. </p><p>I still find it endearing, but having both Yuri and Dimitri fuss over me constantly is a bit suffocating at times. </p><p>Raphael is the first to join me with his food and happily starts munching down on it. Yuri made sure to pack him a few boxes, so it'll be a few hours before Raphael runs out. </p><p>After a couple of minutes, Lysithea comes to sit next to us as well, taking her lunch out of her bag too. </p><p>We happily chat about irrelevant things as we finish eating. </p><p>"So, can we go now then? I'm feeling much better." </p><p>"Yeah. Let's go." </p><p>"Awesome! I'm so excited!" </p><p>We get back up after repacking our food. </p><p>A smile keeps making its way onto my face. I can't believe we're so close. I want to see the others again. </p><p>"Phew, finally out of this forest. I feel like I have barely any blood left with all these mosquitos!" Raphael says as he swats a mosquito on his leg.</p><p>I doubt this man could ever run out of blood, but he's allowed to think that. </p><p>We step past the edge of the trees. But the image we're presented with is nothing like the feeling I had just seconds before. </p><p>Gone are all my happy and excited feelings, now replaced with dread and fear. I'll never doubt Yuri's gut feeling again.</p><p>"What's going on? Are those Rhea's knights?" Raphael scratches his head in confusion.</p><p>"Stay out of sight," I order. Neither of them make a move though. "Get back, now!" I shout as I push them back into the treeline. </p><p>What the fuck is going on here? Why are Rhea's knights everywhere? </p><p>"Why'd you do that? Maybe they'll let us back in!" Raphael still looks confused and I honestly don't blame him. </p><p>He never was the brightest of us all. </p><p>"I think you were right, Lysithea. Rhea must have found out about Solon. Fuck, they might actually be looking for us now." What do we do?</p><p>"That can't be good. What should we do?" She asks. "We can't really get past them like this, they'll see us immediately." </p><p>Yeah, and I don't even want to know what they'll do to us once they get their hands on us. We do need to get to the other side of this field though, and into the village. </p><p>"If they're looking for us," Raphael starts. "What if they found Lorenz?" </p><p>Oh my god. What if they found Lorenz? My hands are getting sweaty. </p><p>No, no. Don't think like that. We just need to get to the village. Just think of a way. </p><p>I look around. Nothing but a vast field of grass and trees around us. We can stay hidden in here pretty well for the time being, but it's only a matter of time before they start invading this forest too. </p><p>Oh, fuck me. What if they'll head towards Remire Village? We need to warn the others somehow. Should I go back? </p><p>Should I send Raphael or Lysithea back? </p><p>Fuck, what should I do? </p><p>We can't abandon this mission. There's still the chance that Lorenz hasn't been found yet. We can't just leave now. </p><p>"There's a big chance they'll go to Remire Village," I inform Raph and Lysithea. "One of us has to go back to warn the others. Once those knights swarm the village, it's over. They need to move somewhere safer." </p><p>Lysithea furrows her eyebrows. "Okay, who do you think should go back then?" </p><p>I think about it, but my mind offers nothing. If I go back, Lysithea can keep going with Raphael. I'm just afraid that Lysithea doesn't have the patience to deal with Raphael and that's going to lead to friction between the two of them.</p><p>If Raphael goes back, I'm scared that he might get distracted by whatever and get lost. </p><p>And if Lysithea goes back, she'll get worn out before she even gets close to the edge. It's about a six-hour trip back to the other side and I'm certain she won't make it like this.</p><p>Okay, think clearly. Either Raphael or I have to go back. Normally, I'd choose myself because I can handle the temperature well. But if somehow Raphael and Lysithea get split up, Raphael won't make it. </p><p>Okay, I'll send Raphael back. It's the safest for all three of us. He's just going to need to follow the river and he'll get back safely. </p><p>Lysithea and I will find a way to get past these knights. If we succeed, we'll make it to the village and look for Lorenz. </p><p>I'll consult with them first though. "Raph. Can you make it back?" </p><p>"Of course, leave it to me!"</p><p>Bless this man for his infinite flexibility. "Do you know how to get there?" </p><p>He thinks about it for a few seconds. "Uhm… I'll just follow the river, right? I'll make sure to warn everyone. Where should I send them?" </p><p>Right. Somewhere we'll be able to find them when we make it back too. </p><p>"See if you can get them into the prison dungeon. It'll be difficult for the knights to find and our friends will notice someone coming down there immediately. It'll be good for them to protect themselves. Hurry, but please be careful." </p><p>"You got it, boss!" He turns around and hurries back into the trees. </p><p>I hope I made the right decision. I feel like Raphael's been through so much already, he deserves to take the safest option for once. He just has to make it back for us. </p><p>Now, it'll be up to Lysithea and myself. I may have thought of a way to get by unnoticed, but it's still a risk. </p><p>"Okay, listen. I have an idea. We can use the river to hide us." </p><p>She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. </p><p>"If we can stay under the river's edge, the knights might not see us as we swim by. But we obviously can't take our bags into the water with us, so we have to leave those behind. What do you think?" </p><p>"What other option do we have? Let's do it." She already shrugs off her bag, putting it aside. </p><p>Perfect. </p><p>I do the same, but I make sure to take my mom's dagger so I can tie it around my waist first. It's a bit of a bummer that I can't let my arrows get wet, because now I can't take my bow with me. </p><p>I lay my bag next to hers before we return to the river. The current isn't too fast, which is perfect. It'll just carry us right where we need to be. </p><p>"Do we need to stay underwater?" </p><p>"I doubt we can last that long. We can try, but we just need to make sure to stay under the edge when we come up to breathe." </p><p>She nods before she lowers herself onto the edge and sits down. "I hate getting my clothes wet, but here goes." </p><p>Like that, she jumps into the water. She can't stand in it without submerging, so she's holding on to the grass on the edge until I join her. </p><p>"I hate wet clothes too," I announce before I jump into the water. </p><p>We look at each other and nod before we start swimming along the edge closest to where the guards are. </p><p>The current carries us easily, which I'm grateful for. Now we can use our limbs to stay out of sight, rather than moving forward. </p><p>We exit the forest. So far, so good. </p><p>"Claude! Someone's standing near the river over there!" Lysithea warns. </p><p>"Okay, submerge and stay underwater as long as possible." </p><p>She nods and takes a deep breath before her head disappears under the water. I do the same and follow her. </p><p>With a pretty high speed, we swim through the water, swiftly making it past the knight that was standing near the edge. </p><p>It doesn't look like he saw us, but we can't afford to emerge again already. </p><p>I'm not looking forward to the way back. It's easy now, but we'll be swimming against the stream later. </p><p>Lysithea turns around and gestures to me that she needs to breathe, so I point above us to let her know it's okay. There aren't any knights here and the one we passed shouldn't be able to see us anymore here. </p><p>She gasps and pants as soon as her head comes back above the water level. </p><p>"The coast is clear, let's keep moving ahead." </p><p>She nods and turns back around to keep swimming. Just keep swimming. We'll be fine. </p><p>The river bends around the village, I see now, so we need to get out of the water soon. Lysithea sees it too and slows down a bit so I can take the lead again. </p><p>I look back first to see what the knights are up to, and they're actually already storming into the village. This is bad. If they find Lorenz and everyone before us… I don't even want to think about it. We have to find them first.</p><p>"We need to hurry," I tell Lysithea and she nods at me with a determined look in her eyes. </p><p>I like that look. </p><p>"I'll take down those knights if I have to. Their armor doesn't protect them against magic, so I'll have a big advantage." </p><p>"Perfect. Let's go." I put my hands on the edge and lift myself up before I help Lysithea make it on the edge as well.</p><p>I shake my head to rid it of the water, but the rest of me is absolutely soaked as well. Lysithea is squeezing water out of her hair. </p><p>"We'll sneak in through this small path," I inform as I point at a small alley that caught my eye before. "We shouldn't confront any knight if we can prevent it." </p><p>I receive another nod, so we're on our way to the small path. Sneaking by isn't going to keep cutting it for us. If we can't move before the knights, we'll never make it to Lorenz before them. </p><p>"Should we split up?" Lysithea asks suddenly. </p><p>"No. Absolutely not. I know we could cover more ground if we split up, but we won't know from each other if we get caught. We're sticking together." </p><p>"Okay. Makes sense. So what do we do? Follow the knights?" </p><p>We passed through the small alley and we're inside the village now, but we're hiding behind a collapsed house. The thumping of armored feet can be heard from up ahead, so it's too risky to keep moving right now. </p><p>"If we follow them, they'll reach Lorenz before us. We're gonna need to cut them off somewhere. Let's just keep moving behind these houses for now."</p><p>I grab her arm and sprint to the back of the house in front of us. The thumping has become less frequent now, so most of the guards are inside the village. </p><p>"Can't we just take them down from behind? I've been working on my range. If I can stay behind these houses, they might not even notice me." </p><p>She can hit them from a further distance? That can really come in handy right now, especially because the guards are only carrying swords or axes. They can't hit her from a distance. </p><p>"Yeah, go for it. We can't fight them all at once, so if we can thin out their numbers, even if just a little, it'd be a major help." </p><p>She nods once more before she creeps to the edge of the building, so she can see the knights, but they can't see her. </p><p>Meanwhile, I take my dagger from my waist. It's not going to help much, but it's probably more effective than arrows. If I go down, I'll go down fighting. </p><p>"That's three down, but we need to move now before they notice where it came from." She grabs my wrist before she pulls me down another alley. </p><p>We take a turn, which allows us to see a group of knights raiding one of the houses. Some of them are coming back outside already, with empty hands, so Lorenz isn't inside.</p><p>"Can you make that building collapse?" </p><p>"Of course." She creates a Fire spell in both her hands and throws them against the pillars that hold the house upright. </p><p>Sweet. The whole building collapses on top of them, but their armor prevents them from getting crushed. I'm not here to kill any knights, but immobilizing is something I'm willing to do, no matter what. And it looks like we just took down about fifteen knights at once. </p><p>"Perfect. Let's keep moving." </p><p>"Right!" </p><p>Through the chaos among the knights themselves, nobody notices the two of us sneaking behind the rubble of the house. We pass the building and we move onto the next, where a small group of knights is gathered. </p><p>Once more, Lysithea shoots a few Fire's at them, setting their armor aflame. </p><p>"That'll keep them busy for a while." </p><p>We keep running and she keeps firing magic spells, but it just seems like it's unending. Knight after knight catches fire, but they just don't stop appearing. </p><p>Are we too late already? Have they already found the others?</p><p>And it's just a matter of time before the knights notice we're here. Should we go back, now that we still can? But can we? There are knights everywhere. </p><p>I'm actually wondering where Rhea got so many knights. I never knew she had such a huge amount to her disposal. All these unknowing, innocent people that just want to follow their leader. </p><p>But are they really unknowing? Because why would they follow Rhea around if it's obvious that we're the good guys here? </p><p>I'm honestly confused about this whole situation. I just hope Lysithea and I can make it out of here if we need to. Unfortunately, with or without Lorenz and everyone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>helloooooo :))) </p><p>I tried something new with this chapter, namely perspective changes </p><p>So now it's not just Claude's perspective we'll be following, but some others as well, which will be indicated with a .~</p><p>Also lmk if you like it or not bc I'm not sure if I like it or not hahaha</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This is insane..!" Lysithea pants. </p><p>She's been firing magic spell after magic spell, but to no avail. More knights keep popping up from every direction. </p><p>"How long can you hold out?" I'm sure she's about to run out of magic power, seeing the way she's been panting and huffing. </p><p>She shakes her head. "I'm not sure. But I'll be fine." </p><p>Another Miasma is launched at two knights that are guarding their allies who just infiltrated another house. They fall to the ground and remain unmoving. </p><p>I'm honestly not sure if she's killing them. I hope she isn't. We don't know enough about these people to have an idea of how much they know, but they're still humans. For all we know, they're just carrying out their orders. </p><p>She huffs as she wipes a bit of sweat off her brow. "We really need to find Lorenz and them soon." </p><p>I nod.</p><p>I absolutely agree with that, but it's just so hard to find them. If they're around here, I'm sure they can see the chaos the knights are creating. They'll probably hide themselves even better, or worse; flee this village, and we'll never find them then. </p><p>We need to signal to them somehow. We have to stand out from these knights so they see we've come back for them. </p><p>But we obviously can't draw their attention without drawing the knights' as well.</p><p>Can I take the risk?</p><p>Lysithea's running out of strength at a quick pace. When she's out, it will leave the two of us completely vulnerable and useless. We won't be able to continue on and we're gonna have to kiss Lorenz' rescue goodbye. </p><p>And then there's the question of whether we can escape at all. Getting out of this village shouldn't be a problem, but we saw the situation outside. Knights had already begun to enter the forest, making their way to Remire Village. </p><p>It's not a matter of whether I can take the risk or not. I need to take this risk, be it for better or worse. </p><p>I came here with a goal, and I will complete it.  </p><p>"Lysithea, stop attacking. Let's hide somewhere." </p><p>I grab her arm and pull her inside one of the half collapsed houses. It's dark inside this building and I doubt the knights are going to search for anyone in here. </p><p>She glares at me. "Why'd you do that? I almost got those-" </p><p>"Shh, listen," I interrupt. "We're getting nowhere at this rate. You're just exhausting yourself. We'll never find Lorenz if we keep this up." </p><p>Her lip trembles as my words sink in. "Does… Are you saying that we can't find them? No matter how hard we try?" </p><p>I shake my head. "No, there's a way. But it's risky." </p><p>"Risky is fine. What have you got in mind?" Her earlier determination is returning to her eyes. </p><p>Good. </p><p>"I need you to cast some kind of flare and fire it up into the sky. They'll see it, since they're probably watching the knights right now. Then I need you to look for some kind of reply from them and head over to them as quickly as you see it. Can you do that?" </p><p>A nod. "Of course. I still have enough magic left for ten of those signals." </p><p>"Perfect. If you don't receive a reply, fire another one. But be careful that you don't stick around after. The knights will search for the source." </p><p>She rolls her eyes. "Well, duh! That'd be a stupid thing to do. You can leave it to me. What about you?" </p><p>I'll probably be sacrificing myself here. "Don't worry about me. I figured out something I can do to increase the odds of finding the others. You just focus on your task. I'm counting on you." </p><p>I want to tell her what I'm planning, but if she wanted to stop Linhardt for the risk he took before, she'll never let me do this. I can't have her try to stop me here.</p><p>She's about to get up, but I grab her arm again to keep her here. "What are you-" </p><p>I pull her close to me to hug her. I grip her small body tightly into my arms. "Be safe, okay?" </p><p>This might be the last time I see her. It breaks my heart, but this is something I have to do. If I want to keep Lysithea safe, if I want to find Lorenz, if I want to be useful for once, I have to do this. </p><p>Dimitri crosses my mind. His kind eyes, his sweet smile… I'm sorry, Dima. I love you, so stay strong. </p><p>And then Yuri… His hungry kisses. His intense stares. I'm sorry Yuri. I'll miss you. Take care of Dimitri for me. </p><p>Before I let go of Lysithea, I blink away my tears. </p><p>"Uh, okay..? What's gotten into you all of a sudden?" </p><p>I smile, despite my heartbreak. I can't show her what I'm up to. "Just wanna make sure you stay safe." </p><p>She looks at me for a moment before she sighs and rolls her eyes. "You do the weirdest things sometimes. Don't tell me you're planning on distracting those knights or something like that." </p><p>"What? No! Just trust me." I feel bad for having to lie to her of all people. It's for the better. "Ready?" </p><p>"Let's go." </p><p>We sneak out of the building's entrance. There are only a few knights left, but in the street up ahead is a whole bunch. Lysithea would have never made it with the magic she has. </p><p>I feel like I'm finally doing the right thing for once. This whole time I've been delegating tasks onto other people and letting them fight my battles. But now, now I'm going to do something that's all me. </p><p>Lysithea's heading a small distance away so she can fire her signal without interference of any knight. </p><p>I step back into the building to make sure I'm out of her vision. She'll have to run away in order not to stay around, so that's when I step in.</p><p>As soon as she fires the signal and runs off, I'll crawl through this hole and take Lysithea's spot to fool those knights into thinking I fired it. I'll have to run away, so they'll all chase me, hopefully, and I'll lead them to the other side of the village. That way, Lysithea can make her way towards Lorenz' location without the knights noticing.</p><p>I just hope I won't get killed when the knights catch me, because that's an inevitable consequence. I don't have enough time or resources to make it all the way to the river. If I could jump in, those knights can't follow after me. But it's extremely unlikely that I can make it that far without them catching me. </p><p>I'll just have to try. </p><p>I can see Lysithea's legs, and as soon as I see them running off, I crawl through the hole in the wall. </p><p>A bright spark of magic is heading into the sky. It actually lasts a few seconds before it disappears. It's beautiful. </p><p>The thumping of moving armored knights fills my ears. That's my signal. I sprint off towards the knights who are heading my way. At least they're slow. I dodge the swing of an arm and run past the knights, who now start chasing me. </p><p>They're all yelling out orders and regrouping to aid each other in their chase after me. There were really a lot more knights than either Lysithea or I accounted for. That's fine.</p><p>I'm a lot faster than them, so staying out of reach is easier than I expected. Maybe I actually could make it to the river like this. And Lysithea will have enough time to make it to Lorenz. I'd just have to find a way to get rid of these armored idiots and then I can join my friends wherever they are in this village. </p><p>I pass a few streets where knights that Lysithea had attacked before are getting up again. That's not good. </p><p>"Capture him!" I hear one of the knights behind me shout. </p><p>Capture? So not kill? But then what do they intend to do with me once they capture me? </p><p>I actually really don't want to find out. </p><p>More and more knights join in the chase after me and I can see them popping up from alleys and side streets to try and cut me off in my tracks. </p><p>I'm starting to run out of breath, but adrenaline is keeping my legs moving. </p><p>My wet clothes are sticking to my skin about everywhere, making it hard for me to move as flexible and agile as I know I can. My boots are squishing with every step I take. </p><p>I wonder if Lysithea is on her way towards Lorenz now. I look behind me and aside from the large number of knights, I can see a second flare in the sky, indicating that Lysithea hasn't received a reply from the others yet. </p><p>What if Raphael was right? What if Lorenz was captured already? </p><p>No, no! Don't think like that. Lorenz has to be in here somewhere. Lysithea will find them. I refuse to believe I'm risking sacrificing myself for nothing. </p><p>The village's entrance is slowly coming into view. The loud intimidating thumps are still chasing after me, which only increases the feeling of relief. In just a few minutes, I'll jump into the river. </p><p>And from the looks of it, they can't stop me. </p><p>A few more steps. That's all I need. Just a bit more..! </p><p>I push my legs to move even faster, which ultimately proves to be a huge mistake. I didn't see the knight that was just making a turn to look through a new building, so I crash right into it. </p><p>He falls onto his back, but the knights behind me catch up to me faster than I expected. </p><p>I try to get up and run away again, but a few strong hands wrap around my arms, preventing me from going anywhere. </p><p>"Shit..! Let go!" I try to wriggle my body out of the strong hold, but it's not helping at all. </p><p>I'm kicking, screaming, doing whatever I can to get free, but to no avail. The knights are keeping their tight hold on me, even trying to push me to the ground to rid me from any weapons. </p><p>No, not my dagger... They can't take it..! </p><p>I scream once more. Why, I have no idea, but I do it anyway. Frustration, maybe. Or fear. </p><p>"Shut up, you brat!" One of the knights says as he puts a large piece of fabric into my mouth before he wraps a gag around my face.</p><p>Fuck, that's disgusting. The fabric inside my mouth is getting all wet with my saliva and the gag around my mouth is preventing me from spitting it out. I can't even make any decent sound anymore.</p><p>As my face is being pushed into the sandy road, I notice another spark up in the sky. How many has she fired already? Is Lorenz really not answering? Is he maybe not here after all? That can't be. </p><p>That seriously cannot be. Lorenz has to be here. Where else would he have gone? There is no other place for them to have hidden themselves. </p><p>"In case you're wondering, by the way, you're being tied up like this to make sure you won't give us as much trouble as the other two," the annoying knight tells me.</p><p>"Stop spilling information. He needn't know." </p><p>Who is he talking about? They caught somebody I know, that's for sure. Why else would he bring it up? I thrash around as much as I can, but the hold this knight has on me is like iron. I can't get even the tiniest bit loose.</p><p>"That guy with the purple hair in particular was very annoying," the knight rambles on. "I made sure to beat him until he stayed silent."</p><p>My arms are being tied behind my back and my legs get tied together. Like that, I'm being lifted by one of the knights. He lays me over his shoulder, not allowing me to see any more than his armored back. My arms are hanging uselessly. 

I think the knight was talking about Lorenz. I don't know any other guy with purple hair, lest an annoying one at that. So he got caught after all. Have these knights taken him to the monastery? And who is the other one he mentioned?</p><p>"Hey, you're not the one who fired that signal!" Another one of the knights notices. </p><p>Heh, nope. </p><p>"Are you alone?" The annoying one butts back in. "Just shake yes or no."</p><p>I absolutely refuse to give him any sort of answer.</p><p>"Boss, he's not answering me. Can't we just drop him into the river like this?" </p><p>"No," the knight carrying me answers. "He perfectly matches the description Lady Rhea gave us. We're taking him back with us, just like we did with those other two." </p><p>Rhea ordered for me to be captured? She has to believe that I'm the one behind the attack on Solon then. Then why would they be after Lorenz?</p><p>"Can we at least beat some information out of him though? He's a total brat." </p><p>"No," the boss answers him once more. "And I'll report you if you keep being annoying." </p><p>At least this boss seems like a decent person. If only he wasn't carrying me around like he's some kind of caveman dragging his prey around.</p><p>"Y-yes sir!" The knight squeaks. "You're lucky the boss is with us, or you'd be in a worse position. Unless you're gonna misbehave like that woman from before. Even the boss didn't have the patience to deal with her," he snickers. "Not in a proper way, anyway." </p><p>Never mind the decent person thing. I hate these knights.</p><p>But a misbehaving woman..? Hilda, maybe? It couldn't have been Marianne. Ah, perhaps Leonie gave them a hard time. Serves them right, these assholes. 

So, that means this is it. These knights will take me back to the monastery to do whatever to me and I'm not prepared. </p><p>I wanted to annoy Lorenz again. I wanted to laugh and joke with Hilda. I wanted to teach Leonie what Byleth taught me. I wanted to see the paintings Ignatz has made. I wanted to see Marianne's smile again. I wanted to finally have a proper conversation with Ingrid.</p><p>And now I can't. And I won't even know if Lysithea succeeded. I can't even find out what's going to happen to Raphael and everyone back at the village now. </p><p>I just hope this wasn't in vain. I'd really, really hate that. </p><p>"Can I at least knock him out?" </p><p>What? No! I kick with my legs in protest. </p><p>"Yes. Do it." </p><p>"Awesome!" A hard bang against the back of my head hits my forehead against the armor of the knight's back. </p><p>And like that, the lights go out.</p><p>.~ Lysithea ~.


</p><p>Where in the world have all the knights gone all of a sudden? Is that Claude's doing? I don't trust this. He definitely lied to me! </p><p>Ugh, that idiot! </p><p>I look around once more to see if I can spot any sort of reaction that could be from Lorenz, but I'm still not seeing anything. </p><p>Are they really here? Claude has every faith that they're here, but then why haven't they responded yet? And what is Claude even up to?! </p><p>But then I see something. A small reflection of sunlight in a mirror, shining right into my eyes. </p><p>Is that..? </p><p>It has to be! I'll warn Claude so we can go together. </p><p>I run off to the building where I left Claude. </p><p>"Claude," I whisper. "Are you here?" </p><p>He's done something to get those knights away from me and I don't trust it at all. He was being weirdly emotional back inside the house too. </p><p>Don't tell me he really used himself as a decoy.</p><p>"Claude! Claude, where are you at?!" </p><p>I can't see any knights, but they can bet on it that I'll destroy them as soon as I see any. If they have Claude… No! Stay positive. Claude wouldn't get caught so easily. </p><p>He's smart, always thinking ahead of everyone. And he's sneaky. Sneaky enough to lie to me about his intentions and still do something seemingly reckless, even though that's not something Claude is. Always gambling and taking risks, but never reckless or careless.</p><p>He has to have a plan of sorts, but what is it? He never told me where he'd meet me again after we split up. He also didn't tell me what exactly he was planning on doing. </p><p>Well, thinking about it isn't going to do much. What's important is that I found Lorenz and that we can go find them and meet up again. I just need to find Claude now. </p><p>How annoying. I hate childish games like hide-and-seek, yet that is exactly what I've been doing the whole time. </p><p>"Claude?! Come out, I've found them!" </p><p>"Found who?" A muffled voice asks from behind me. </p><p>I turn around and two armored knights are approaching me. Are you kidding me? I'm looking for Claude, not these idiots!</p><p>"I don't have time for this!" I shout out in annoyance.</p><p>I focus my magic power in the palms of my hands to create a fire spell. I hit one, then the second. </p><p>They both collapse to the ground. Practicing with Byleth really paid off. Not only is my attacking range larger, but my power has increased a lot too. </p><p>Now, back to finding Claude. That idiot always does stuff on his own. A group of knights in the distance catches my attention. </p><p>A fear settles in my heart, causing it to beat faster. No, Claude… I rush over to the knights, not caring about whether they can see me or not. </p><p>I know I can take them, as long as I stay a safe distance away from them. </p><p>A few already notice me approaching and prepare to attack me. I'm not having that. </p><p>I shoot a Miasma at the one in the front. The force of my attack causes him to stumble back and trip, taking the two behind him down along with him. </p><p>"Claude?!" </p><p>What did Claude tell me to do again? Head over to them as soon as I see a reply. Head over to Lorenz… without Claude? I don't want to go without Claude, but he told me to do that for a reason, right?</p><p>I just need to stop being stupid and do as Claude told me. He probably has this part covered in his plan too. Ugh, what if he's already with Lorenz, waiting for me instead? </p><p>Stupid, stupid, stupid! It's all his own fault. He's always acting recklessly, he can't blame me for worrying about him. </p><p>I turn around to hide myself before more knights notice me. Now let's see… The mirror was over there… </p><p>I use the alleys as my cover while I'm hurrying over to the building I saw the reflection in. Claude did a great job at keeping the knights away for me, so I'm not about to waste his efforts and get caught. </p><p>I eye the windows carefully. I know I'm close now, but I just can't remember which specific building it was. Thankfully, whoever was trying to signal me is still on it, because I can see a tiny shimmer in one of the windows. </p><p>There! I'm still wary of my surroundings, so I can't carelessly make my way over to the house. A wandering knight finds me, but I take him down quickly enough. </p><p>No one messes with me now. I'm on a mission and failure is not an option. </p><p>As soon as I take the last turn, I can see Ignatz waiting for me outside the building I was heading towards. </p><p>"Lysithea! Come on, hurry!" He gestures for me to follow him inside. </p><p>I'm so glad to see him. I follow after him inside the building, up the stairs. We enter a room and the first thing I see is a flash of pink hair before a body collides with mine. </p><p>"Oh my god, Lysithea! I'm so glad to see you!" </p><p>"I'm happy to see you too, Hilda." I hug her back tightly. </p><p>"Did you come here all by yourself?" Ignatz asks me. </p><p>I pull away from Hilda so I can answer him properly. What I see, however, leaves me at a loss for words. </p><p>I'm missing people. Ingrid is here, sitting with Marianne on a mattress. There's Ignatz and Hilda as well, but neither Lorenz or Leonie are around.</p><p>And neither is Claude. </p><p>"W-where are..?" I'm sure I'm overreacting here. They're probably in another room or something. </p><p>But the eyes that are averting from mine tell me enough. </p><p>"Lorenz and Leonie… well…" Hilda stops talking there. </p><p>Ignatz blinks away some tears, but I don't feel like doing that. I'm letting mine roll down my cheeks. There went our idea of reuniting with everyone. How did this happen? </p><p>"They got captured by the knights," Ingrid finishes. "They tried to stop them so the rest of us could flee. I'm sorry for not being able to have done anything." </p><p>Now I understand the somber atmosphere that hung in this room. That all couldn't have happened long ago, since the knights were still looking for them. </p><p>I take a deep breath. Okay, we'll just wait for Claude now. He'll know what to do next. I'm sure he'll come around in a bit. Oh, right, Ignatz asked me a question.</p><p>"Oh, Ignatz, to answer your question; no, I didn't come alone. Claude came here with me, but I don't think he knows where we are." </p><p>"Claude came too?" Hilda asks hopefully.</p><p>I nod. I'm scared that my voice will tremble if I explain what happened. </p><p>"Oh, I knew it! Claude would never abandon us! What happened to you guys anyway?" </p><p>I understand Hilda is trying to be cheerful for everyone's sake, but it's really not helping. I can't believe Lorenz and Leonie got captured. If only we'd come sooner…</p><p>We would have prevented it. We shouldn't have waited so long with leaving. How stupid are we? I hope Raphael at least made it back to the others in time. Back to Linhardt in time...</p><p>"Lysithea?" Hilda insists. Her voice is still soft. </p><p>I never really considered her to be the compassionate type, and she's not good at it, but at least she's trying. </p><p>"Ah, of course. I'll explain..." </p><p>So, I tell them about what happened after we split up in the forest. That we reached Remire Village and that we finally found out about how the Calamity happened. I didn't want to tell them about what we'd done to Claude, about our betrayal, but I can't stop talking now that I've begun. I finish my explanation with our final battle with Solon and that we got Byleth on our side, who's now been helping us. </p><p>"Wow, I can't believe all that happened to you guys. It's almost unbelievable," Ingrid comments. </p><p>"Yeah, I'd say. Is it bad if I admit that I'm secretly a little glad I didn't come along?" Hilda asks with an apologetic giggle. </p><p>I shake my head, even though that completely goes against my ways. We all agreed that we'd see it through to the end. Having Hilda and everyone there would have made a huge difference. I can't help but upbraid them for it. </p><p>But in the end, Claude allowed them to make their decision, so that's what counts. </p><p>"Lysithea, would you like some tea?" Ignatz asks as he offers me a cup. </p><p>"Thank you," I tell him as I take the cup from him. </p><p>"We really missed you guys." Hilda heads back over to me to give me another hug, which I only half return.</p><p>"Uhm, Lysithea? Are you hurt..?" Marianne asks with her soft voice. </p><p>I shake my head. "No, I'm fine. I'm just really tired." </p><p>"Oh, you can sit here, if you want!" Ingrid gets up from the mattress to make room for me. "Well, it's a bit old, but we've managed to clean it up a bit." </p><p>I nod and take her spot on the mattress next to Marianne. "Can you see Claude yet?" </p><p>I didn't ask anyone specifically, but Ignatz is the one to look out of the window. "No, I don't see him. The knights seem to be leaving as well." </p><p>The knights are leaving? What does that mean? Aren't they looking for us too? </p><p>And where is Claude? </p><p>I have a terrible feeling about this. I guess it's a good thing that the knights here will be leaving us alone for now, but what about the other knights? Will they retreat from the forest as well? </p><p>Marianne's head turns towards me. "You uhm… You don't look so well… Would you like to rest for a while?"</p><p>I don't look well..? I'm just tired, that's all. "I'm fine, really. Just tired." </p><p>Really, incredibly tired. Maybe I should get some rest, but that wouldn't be fair to Claude. He's still out there. And Raphael as well. Neither of them are resting right now, so I won't rest either. </p><p>To make sure I won't fall asleep, I take Ignatz' spot near the window. The mirror that was used to reflect light with is still lying here. I guess it's a good thing Hilda loves makeup. </p><p>Like Ignatz said, the knights are leaving. They're retreating back to outside this village and I'm wondering where they're going. </p><p>Would they be joining the ones who are heading to Remire Village? They're not going to the underground passage, or else they'd stay in the village. </p><p>I hope they'll leave Claude alone. What's he even doing? Did he get caught after all? Please don't tell me he got caught. </p><p>"What did the knights do with Lorenz and Leonie?" I sip my tea as I wait for an answer. </p><p>"They got captured and taken away. I'm not sure where to, but… Uhm, we believe that they took them to the underground passage. Ingrid wanted to follow them, but it was too dangerous…" Ignatz sighs when he's done talking. "It's all because we're so weak." </p><p>My ears perk up at that. </p><p>"Yeah," Hilda agrees. "Lorenz and Leonie fought for us at least, but even they couldn't do much. And we, we're just hiding in this disgusting old building to make sure we at least stay out of harm." </p><p>"If you think you're so weak, then why don't you train and get stronger? Being weak isn't an excuse to just give up." How dare they blame it on weakness? </p><p>"What do you mean? We can't possibly do anything!" Hilda argues. </p><p>"Maybe if you had actually practiced with Raphael, Hilda, you'd know how to fight! But no, instead you, and even Ignatz, you just spent your preparation week doing whatever you liked! And Marianne, I know it's hard for you to speak up, but even you could have told Lorenz off when he kept flirting with you! You barely taught him anything about Faith! Stop blaming your 'weaknesses', and instead, look at your behaviors for once!" </p><p>I'm probably not being fair to them, but it's time they wake up. I'm not as nice as Claude is. They lost Lorenz and Leonie already. How much more needs to happen before they understand they're their own problem? </p><p>I turn back to the window to see if I can spot Claude yet. I can't work with these people here. Maybe I spent too much time with actual motivated people to have the patience to deal with someone like Hilda right now. </p><p>"Yeah, you're right… I'm really sorry." Ignatz' voice is soft. </p><p>I'm still angry though. An apology isn't going to return Leonie to us. A 'sorry' isn't going to free Lorenz. </p><p>Please, Claude. Please just come here. </p><p>.</p><p>I've been staring out of this window for at least a few hours. Claude still hasn't appeared and no one here has said a word to me since my outburst. </p><p>I will not apologize though. It's their own fault. Claude should have said something to them much earlier. Yet, he just played the nice guy and allowed them to do whatever they liked. Even after Lorenz split up from us the first time. Claude didn't say a word about it, even gave Lorenz leadership over these people when we split up once more. </p><p>I don't think Claude is a weak leader, but he needs to learn to tell people off when they don't listen to him. But it's whatever. </p><p>I'll rest up here and then I'll head back to Remire. On my own if no one volunteers to come with me. I refuse to ask for their help. The sun is already starting to set, so I'll stay here for the night. I'll go back in the morning. </p><p>A yawn forces my mouth to open. I'm really tired. All these magic attacks are taking their toll on my body, leaving me sore and feeling lifeless. </p><p>And I'm hungry too. But my bag is still near the river, right next to Claude's. Claude… How can he be so stupid? We would have been fine together. I still had plenty of magic, I was fine! There was absolutely no need to split up. </p><p>I lean my head against the window. I'll just take a small nap here. Not long, just a few minutes. I deserve to rest for a few minutes. </p><p>I close my eyes and I can almost feel instant relief. My throbbing headache even fades a little. Just a few minutes… </p><p>.~ Dimitri ~.


</p><p>The loud slam of the door opening wakes me up immediately. I open my eye from the scare, but I can't see who opened my room. </p><p>Why did I have to lose my eye, of all things? At least Claude doesn't seem to mind it much. </p><p>"Dimitri, get up." Yuri's voice isn't a welcome sound to me. I'd much rather wake up hearing Claude's gentle mumbling. </p><p>I groan and close my eye to try to fall asleep again. The medicine is still in my system, making me drowsy. And I don't really feel like dealing with Yuri right now. </p><p>After all, I only tolerate him because Claude is so fond of him. I'm not sure if the feeling is mutual on Yuri's side, since he tends to seek my affections sometimes, but I know I don't like him much. </p><p>He has an influence on both Claude and myself, which I just can't shake off. And Claude doesn't even try to get out of Yuri's clutches. </p><p>But, for Claude's sake, I'll keep pretending to like Yuri. I honestly doubt that Claude will stay happy in a relationship like this anyway. And then it'll be just a matter of time until Claude will choose one of us to continue with. </p><p>I'm not very confident that he'll pick me after what happened, but Yuri doesn't seem interested in a single relationship with Claude. So even if Claude picks Yuri, Yuri might not pick Claude. That leaves just me.</p><p>"Dimitri, did you not hear me? Get up." A rough hand starts pulling on my arm to get me to sit up straight. </p><p>"What is it? I'm not hungry." Getting fed by Yuri isn't a nice experience. </p><p>"Claude might be in trouble. Byleth said we're all leaving, so get up already. Even Linhardt and Sylvain are getting ready." </p><p>Claude is in trouble? </p><p>I cooperate with Yuri within a second, allowing him to help me with standing up from my bed. I'm incredibly dizzy all of a sudden, but I can't afford to linger on that. I blink a few times before I allow Yuri to take my hospital shirt off. </p><p>I don't like being naked in front of Yuri. Claude hasn't even seen me naked yet. </p><p>"What kind of trouble?" </p><p>I'm trying really hard not to topple over from the dizziness I'm experiencing. I now understand why Byleth kept telling me to stay in bed until my head wound has healed completely. </p><p>"Raphael just came back from his trip to warn us for Rhea's knights. Apparently they've stormed the village their friends were supposedly in. Raphael told us to hide in this village somewhere because the knights are heading our way, but Byleth said we'll go out there to face them head on." </p><p>Rhea's knights? "Are we going to save Claude too?" </p><p>"Yeah. Here, step in the holes." He holds a pair of briefs in front of my ankles. </p><p>I lift up one of my legs, which literally causes me to fall to the side. I collide with the ground, hitting my head against the bed in the process. </p><p>Damn this dizziness.</p><p>"Oh, shit. Dimitri, you okay?" His warm hand caresses the side of my head where I just bumped it against the woodwork of the bed. </p><p>"Yeah. I'm a little dizzy." </p><p>"Dizzy, huh? Let's get you dressed while sitting down then." He grabs the briefs once more and guides my feet through the holes before he pulls them up to my knees. </p><p>He's being really careful, not at all the way he acts with Claude. He's usually crude and sassy around him, but not with me. I wonder what he's trying to accomplish by doing that. </p><p>Maybe he knows I don't like him. </p><p>I'm not naked anymore now, which I'm grateful for, and Yuri is heading towards our wardrobe to gather a shirt, pants and socks for me. He helps me put all of them on, so we can get out of here faster. </p><p>I'm a little worried about my state right now, but I'll push through for Claude. I made a huge mistake and I'm ready to do anything and everything for his forgiveness. He seems to have gotten over it already, but I'm not. I'm nowhere near over my sins. </p><p>After I got dressed, begrudgingly with Yuri's help, we leave the room. It's weird, leaving this room I've been in for the past week. </p><p>"You okay?" He asks. </p><p>"Yeah. I'm still dizzy, but I think I'll manage." The dark hallway is spinning and it's making me a bit nauseous. "What time is it?" </p><p>"It's nearing evening. If we go now, we'll hopefully cross the forest before midnight. We're going with a large group though, which might slow us down a little." </p><p>So we're travelling through that dreadful forest in the dark. At least there aren't any half-deads around that try to kill us. </p><p>"Here, let me hold your arm so I can support you. Everyone's waiting for us outside this building." He grabs my arm and puts it around his shoulder. His other arm wrapped around my waist.</p><p>"Thank you." I noticed before that Yuri's a bit shorter than Claude. That fact somehow makes Yuri kinda cute, but his attitude towards Claude ruins that. </p><p>"You're welcome," he answers. The arm around my waist gently squeezes my side. </p><p>There it is again. He's definitely trying to show me his affection. Is he that eager to have his way? To have a relationship with both Claude and me? I'm not interested in that. I only want Claude, and that's it. </p><p>"Is he hurt?" </p><p>"I don't know. I only know that Raphael abandoned their mission to come back here and warn us for the knights." </p><p>So Claude and Lysithea are still out there. I want to regret letting him leave, but I know this is something Claude wanted to do. </p><p>Yuri stops me from walking. "Be careful, stairs." </p><p>I hold the armrest tightly with my free hand. I really don't want to trip down these stairs and hurt myself even more. I can still feel the sore spot on my head where I bumped it earlier. </p><p>I'm really dreading having to go into the forest like this. Not only will I be unable to see much because of the lack of light, there's also the fact that I only have one eye to see out of. And this dizzy feeling. </p><p>I will find someone else to guide me through the trees though. I don't like the idea of spending approximately six hours glued to Yuri's side.</p><p>We finally exit the building and join the group that's been waiting for us. I'm happy to see Linhardt and Sylvain are here as well. Claude told me before how sad he was that they didn't eat with everyone anymore and that he hardly saw them again. </p><p>I don't like it when Claude is sad. If I could leave my bed, I would have physically dragged Sylvain and Linhardt to every single meal. </p><p>"Ah, there you are. Dimitri, how are you holding up?" Professor Byleth asks me. </p><p>"Ah, well, not so great. I'm dizzy and it's hard to orient myself with only one eye, but I'll be fine." </p><p>He nods. "I will not give you a weapon then. You just focus on walking with Yuri. The rest of you, follow my previous orders. We can't waste time, so let's go." </p><p>"What orders?" Yuri asks. </p><p>But professor Byleth just ignores Yuri's question. Is he upset that Yuri lied to him before? </p><p>"Don't worry about the professor," Annette assures. "He's just a bit upset that Claude didn't include him in his plans. He wanted some action too." She giggles. </p><p>Ah, is that all? And I'm guessing since Yuri and I knew about Claude's plans, he's sulking because we didn't tell him. I never expected a man like professor Byleth to react quite like this. What a baffling and unpredictable person he is. </p><p>But it's a good thing we can go and find Claude with everyone. Perhaps we aren't coming back here anymore either. </p><p>Good. Nothing but bad memories in this place.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I ALSO HAVE SOME IMPORTANT AND UNFORTUNATE NEWS: </p><p>I'll only be updating once a week from now on, on Sundays </p><p>This is bc I got a new job and I want to make sure that I devote my time and effort to it</p><p>I hope you don't mind!! Thank you still for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>first of all, happy Mother's day!!! I hope y'all were able to celebrate it with your moms during these weird times </p><p>And if not for any reason, I'm really sorry to hear</p><p>Either way, here's another chapter :) i was a little worried i wouldn't be able to get it out in time bc I've really been busy this week</p><p>But it's here and I hope you enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>~. Lysithea .~</p><p>A loud snore coming from my own throat wakes me up from my supposedly few minutes nap. </p><p>Just great.</p><p>I lift my head, as I was leaning it against the window. I'm shivering from cold, despite that my clothes have dried up already. </p><p>I'm sure I've been sleeping for a few hours, given it's dark out. I can't believe no one woke me up. Do they really not understand how dire our situation is? </p><p>"What happened when I was sleeping?" I turn around to look at anyone who'll answer me.</p><p>They're all asleep though, and there still isn't any Claude to be seen. Was he really taken then? </p><p>How could I have left him there? Gosh, I'm such an idiot! </p><p>I slap my forehead. I'm sure that group of knights was busy taking Claude captive. And I walked away. It's hard to believe I made yet another mistake. First, the betrayal, and now this… </p><p>What a capable friend I am. </p><p>I turn my head back towards the window and rest my head in my arms. The night is beautiful again tonight. The full moon is shining down, illuminating the village in front of me. </p><p>I don't feel like being cooped up in this disgusting place. Especially with these people in here. They're so negligent. They know Claude was here with me, and that he hasn't made an appearance yet. And Lorenz and Leonie have been taken away as well. How can they sleep so peacefully? </p><p>Unbelievable. It's like they have no feeling of responsibility whatsoever. </p><p>If only Byleth hadn't been difficult about us leaving. We could have taken more people with us as well. </p><p>I sigh. I guess it's up to me now. But what can I do? I'm not someone like Claude or Yuri, who can just form a plan of action within a minute. I don't even know what I should do right now. Save Claude? Go back to Remire Village? </p><p>I have no idea, but sitting here aimlessly isn't doing much to calm my nerves. </p><p>Maybe I can go get Claude's and my own bag from where we left them behind. At least I'll have food and medicine. And I'll be doing something useful. </p><p>I get up and head out of the house. The fresh air feels great on my skin. I start walking down the street to get back to the main road. From here, the way out of the village isn't hard. I keep walking down the street until I've reached the entrance. </p><p>I can't see any knights anymore. Over the whole grassfield, not a living soul is to be seen. </p><p>Hopefully no dead ones either. </p><p>A cold shiver runs down my spine. Argh, why did I have to think of that, now of all times?! Stupid, stupid! Don't worry, Lysithea, ghosts aren't real. Ghosts don't exist.</p><p>I keep walking to distract me. I just wish it was working. </p><p>Did… Did I just hear something, behind me? I'm sure I heard something. Oh, no. Don't look, just keep walking. Why is it so dark? The moon isn't helping at all! Everything is still dark, but now with a creepy white glow. </p><p>I should have stayed inside, where I was safe and not alone. Can I go back? But if I turn around now, I'll..! </p><p>Focus. Just focus on the mission. Just go get the bags from the dark… forest… </p><p>I'm completely freaking out! I just want to crawl into a corner and curl up into a ball. What have I gotten myself into?! </p><p>I can't go back, but if I keep moving forward, I'll reach the forest. What should I do? What should I do?! </p><p>Do ghosts have magic resistance? I'll just say they don't. If I see one, I'll take it down! They'll wish they'd never died! </p><p>I cast a Nosferatu for some extra light. Like this, it's not that scary to walk around these dark plains. The black grass seems to be lapping at my feet. Numerous flying bugs are attracted to my light, flying and buzzing around it. </p><p>"See, now it's the ghosts that are scared of me!" I tell a moth that now threatens to fly right into my magic. "No, don't do that! You'll be fried." </p><p>I try to slap it away with my other hand to prevent it from hurting itself. It keeps approaching me though, so I avoid it by moving around my hand in which I'm casting the Nosferatu. </p><p>"Stop! Can't you see it's dangerous? You're being completely stupid." I'm smiling, despite the idiocy of this moth. </p><p>More bugs are getting attracted to my spell, so I decide to switch my Nosferatu to a healing spell. The light isn't as bright now, but at least I won't be killing any bugs like this. </p><p>Claude would appreciate my efforts. </p><p>Claude, Raphael, please be safe. It would probably be dangerous for me to go back to Remire on my own. If those knights are already there, I wouldn't be able to accomplish much by myself. </p><p>But that means I'll have to rescue Claude with the people I have right here; Ignatz, Hilda, Marianne and Ingrid. </p><p>I can just feel my hope of succeeding ebbing away. Ingrid would probably be most useful, since she's been training with the Blue Lions. And Ignatz and Marianne could maybe help me as well, but Hilda is a problem. If Claude isn't around to motivate her, I highly doubt I can get anything done from her. </p><p>I'll just get our bags first, see what stuff Claude brought as well. Hopefully, he packed some useful things. </p><p>I forgot how long the way to the forest was, since we got carried by the river's current on our way here. The walk, at least, is peaceful. If it weren't for these bugs flying around, there would be nothing out there. Nothing but darkness, shadows, and possibly…</p><p>No! Stop, right there! No more scary thoughts. Just bugs. Just bugs are out there. </p><p>I swallow thickly, forcing my thoughts into a different direction. I'm not going to drive myself crazy again. </p><p>But still, I look behind me just to confirm that there really isn't anyone or anything following me.</p><p>Thankfully, there isn't. But it would have been nice to see Ignatz or someone else coming after me. </p><p>I huff. Who am I kidding? Why would I even expect them to change their ways, just because I spoke my mind to them? </p><p>They'd never risk their lives, they're cowards. They haven't seen or fought the real dangers out here. They've been safe inside the monastery and they've been safe out here too. Always being protected by people that are stronger than they are. </p><p>I need to stop feeling so hostile towards them. I know that Marianne hasn't had it easy, even inside the monastery, because of her father. And Hilda can't really help her ways, since her father and brother have always protected her from literally any hardship. And well, we aren't Ingrid's friends, so I'm guessing she doesn't want to really risk her life for ours. And Ignatz just doesn't have the personality to stand up for or protect himself. </p><p>Idiots. They're all idiots. </p><p>The tall, looming trees that form the edge of the woods are finally becoming visible. I am not looking forward to entering that forest, but I suppose I don't really have a choice anymore. Good thing we left our bags near the edge anyway. </p><p>"H-hello?" I call out. "I come in peace, please don't hurt me!" </p><p>I don't receive an answer, which I'm really glad about. Well then, here goes! </p><p>I take in an instinctive deep breath and hold it as I enter the dark space. It's like a completely different world here, compared to the grassland from before. </p><p>Much scarier, if anything. </p><p>Just follow the river, we put our bags near it. I just hope no animals have smelled the food and tried to take it. Then our bags are probably gone. </p><p>I let out my breath. I don't know why I felt that I shouldn't breathe in here. Maybe because of the nerves. And I'm scared. </p><p>I switch spells once more. Sorry, bugs, but I need more light right now. My Nosferatu lights up more trees around me, illuminating more than just now. </p><p>Just look for the bags. That's all. </p><p>I rush through the trees so I can get back out as fast as possible. There are sounds around me constantly, forcing me to keep my guard up for anything. </p><p>"Don't come any closer, I'm armed!" I warn, but the bushes keep rustling. </p><p>I stop moving completely, staying as still as possible without making any sound or movement. I even hold my breath again. </p><p>But nothing else happens. The bushes stop making the rustling sound and the only thing that still makes a sound is the soft stream of water to my left.</p><p>It was just the wind, stop freaking out! How old are you, twelve? Ridiculous! Act your age already! </p><p>I shake my head in frustration before I continue my search for the bags. </p><p>Obviously, my vision is directed to the ground so I can spot our bags first thing. Another sound catches my attention, which makes me look back up again. </p><p>"Aaaaahh! Gh-gh-ghost!" I scream loudly. </p><p>A figure has made its way before me and I'm certain that it's the shape of a person. </p><p>"Stay away!" I fire my Nosferatu at the figure and like that, all the light is gone, leaving both me and the other figure in complete darkness. </p><p>Oh my god, oh my god! </p><p>I find a tree to lean against, sliding down the rough bark to make myself as small as possible. I squeeze my eyes shut.</p><p>"Please go away! I'm not a good vessel, I swear! If you go to the village behind me, there are four others! Much, much better vessels than myself!" </p><p>"Wait, Lysithea? Is that really you?" </p><p>"They're all depressed, full of negative feelings to feed on! And they're weak minded, very, very easy to possess! I'm not, I'm strong and powerful and not scared at all! I'm warning you!" </p><p>"Lysithea! Seriously, calm down!" </p><p>A hand on my shoulder makes me scream out in fear once more, causing my attacker to let go and stumble back. </p><p>"Wow, she's hopeless," a very familiar voice says. </p><p>Linhardt?</p><p>"You're one to talk. You were just as terrified of her," the voice from before accuses him. </p><p>"It is known that white orbs indicate the presence of a spirit. She was carrying one, so I can't be blamed for getting scared." </p><p>"Sure, sure." </p><p>"L-Linhardt? Is that really you? D-did you die?!" Oh my god, they all died. They've come to haunt me for the rest of my life!  </p><p>"What? No! What a ridiculous thought." </p><p>Maybe he doesn't know yet. He doesn't understand that he died. He isn't aware of his current state!</p><p>"Just cross over! There's nothing left for you on this planet, go into the light!" </p><p>"She's lost it," Linhardt concludes. "Let's just move on." </p><p>"No, we won't. I'm good with girls, allow me," the other voice says before it approaches me. "Hey, there's no need to be scared anymore. I'm here now, I'll protect you. Come on, stand up." </p><p>A hand is offered to me, which I slap away in my panic. "Leave me alone! Take someone else, not me!" </p><p>My breathing is harsh and my hands won't stop trembling, but I refuse to give in.</p><p>"Okay, yeah, she's lost it," the voice confirms. </p><p>"Oh my god, you morons," another, lower voice says. "Lysithea, would you like some cake? I made one with small chocolate flakes." </p><p>Cake? Did he say cake, with chocolate? </p><p>"I-I want cake." </p><p>"Seriously? Cake is all it takes?" </p><p>"Shut up, Sylvain, before you ruin it. Move aside." A shadow approaches me, but before it comes too close, a small healing light appears into his palm, revealing Yuri's silhouette. "Sorry about the scare, we were drawn to the light you were casting. Let's go to the village together, okay? I'll give you some cake once we're there." </p><p>I nod. My heartbeat is starting to slow now that I can actually see something again. But realizing how much I overreacted just now makes my cheeks burn up in embarrassment. </p><p>"Uhm, I'm sorry about all that," I say in a soft voice. I clench my hands together. </p><p>I feel like such a child right now. How humiliating. I quickly get back up.</p><p>"That's fine. Mind explaining the situation?" Yuri asks as he gently rubs my shoulder in comfort. </p><p>I brace myself. Yuri is not going to be pleased when he hears what happened. "Yeah, of course. Claude and I got split up when we entered the village. He performed some kind of self-sacrificing distracting manoeuvre, leading the knights away from me so I could find the rest of our group. I did find them, but when I went back to get Claude, he…" </p><p>I don't even know what happened exactly. All I know is that he didn't come back anymore. </p><p>"He what?" I think it was Dimitri who asked. He sounds terribly worried.</p><p>"Uhm, I couldn't find him. I searched, but there were too many knights around. Then, I figured Claude might have found the others already and gone there, so I went there too. But he wasn't there and he hasn't appeared anymore. I-I'm really sorry, it's all my fault…" </p><p>"So, do you think he got caught?" Yuri asks.</p><p>I nod. They're probably really angry with me. If only I wasn't so stupid! </p><p>"Unbelievable, what an idiot," Yuri mutters. He lets go of my shoulder and walks back to what looks like Dimitri to support him. </p><p>I clench my hands together once more. I'm not sure of what to say now. I don't have any idea of where Claude was taken, nor do I have a proper plan of action. </p><p>"I'm not sure where Claude was taken," I inform. I don't know if anyone's still listening, but I feel like I should say this at least. "And I also don't really know what to do. I only came here because I was looking for our bags, which we left behind here." </p><p>I don't receive an answer, which makes me feel even worse. I messed up good this time. How could I have left Claude there? How could I be so stupid? I was so close too! </p><p>The others are talking among themselves, trying to form some sort of plan now that they know Claude is gone. I want to help, but I feel like I'll just do more damage than good. </p><p>Someone approaches me, but my eyes are glued to my hands. I'm just trying not to cry right now. I feel terrible about my mistake, but showing it is a whole different matter. Crying is for children, and I'm not-</p><p>"Hey," Linhardt's gentle voice sounds. </p><p>I wave back at him. I know that if I talk now, I'll break, so I won't. </p><p>"You know, instead of standing here and sulking like that, you could lead us to where you left your other people." </p><p>He wants me to lead them to the others? I suppose I am the only one who knows their hiding spot. </p><p>I shrug as I take a deep breath. "I'm not sulking." </p><p>"You are sulking, and it's not helping anyone." </p><p>I know he's right, I don't even want to show weakness. I am glad he's not trying to make me feel better. I hate it when people comfort me when I feel bad about my own mistakes. I'm old enough to take responsibility for my actions.</p><p>With new resolve, I look up at him. "Yes, you're right. I'll stop sulking, but I still need to find our bags before I do anything else." </p><p>"Alright. I trust you can do that on your own? I need to rest a bit, it's been a long and especially tiresome trip." </p><p>I roll my eyes. "Of course you'd say that. Be careful you don't sprain your eyelids trying to keep them open while you're so tired." </p><p>"Whoever said I'm keeping them open?" He asks with a smile. </p><p>"You're an idiot," I tell him as I suppress a smile. </p><p>I don't even know what I like about him. He's an idiot, he's lazy, he's rude. He wastes his talents, sleeping all of his time away. But there's just something about him. Something I keep trying to find in him, something I just like. But I don't know what it is.</p><p>I don't have time to linger on my feelings for this idiot. I need to find the bags so we can go back to Hilda and them. </p><p>"Lysithea, can you take us to the place where Claude disappeared?" Byleth asks me. </p><p>"Yes, of course professor. Just give me some time to find what I came here for." </p><p>"Alright." </p><p>.</p><p>It was difficult to find our bags, but the state I found it in was even worse. Both of our bags are ripped apart, the contents scattered all around the place, most of it broken. </p><p>"Well, that's… unfortunate," Sylvain states. "Was anything important?" </p><p>"I'm not sure of the things Claude brought, but I had a lot of medications in mine. It's all ruined." I go over the items that were somewhat still in one piece, but it's just two vulneraries and an antitoxin. </p><p>The rest was all completely destroyed; packages with bandages, bottles with healing potions and even every single tube of disinfectant.  </p><p>I guess the food did attract some animals.</p><p>"Well, we have Linhardt here, so that's at least covered. It's just a terrible shame that Claude's bow is gone." Sylvain rubs his neck. "Damn mosquitoes." </p><p>Yeah. If we ever find Claude, we could tell him. Another wave of guilt washes over me, but I won't succumb this time. What happened, happened. All I can do now is try to fix it to the best of my abilities. </p><p>"I think I'm ready to go. I'll take you all to the village where the rest of the Golden Deer are. Or at least what's left of them." I start to walk again to cross the huge field of grass. </p><p>"What do you mean, what's left of them? Did something happen?" Raphael asks me. He walks a bit faster to keep up with my pace. </p><p>"Ah, well, Lorenz and Leonie, they…" Ugh, I hate this. "They were taken as well. Before Claude and I got there." </p><p>He stays quiet for a bit. So does everyone else.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Dimitri speaks up this time. "If only we had all gone sooner." </p><p>Yeah, we could have gotten them out of the village sooner, but then what? The knights would have still gone to Remire. Which reminds me…</p><p>"What are you all doing here anyway? Why aren't you hiding?" </p><p>"Professor Byleth wanted to fight," Annette explains with a giggle. "He was so excited, he barely left any knights for the rest of us!" </p><p>"So you defeated the knights that were headed towards you? All of them?" </p><p>Annette comes to skip next to me as well. "Yup! Although, professor Byleth took care of about eighty percent. Then Felix did about ten percent and the other ten percent was divided among the rest of us. It was pretty funny to see. Those knights were no match for us anymore!" </p><p>Well, given professor Byleth's experience, that isn't really surprising. Even with a sword against armored units, he's a beast. I kinda wish I was there to see it. </p><p>"But we also wanted to help you guys, in case you think it was just the professor who wanted some exercise," Sylvain falls in. "I mean, even I came around to save you!" </p><p>"That would be because you wanted to see Hilda again," Annette counters. "That's all." </p><p>"Annette!" Sylvain hisses. "Don't expose me like that!" </p><p>"You expose yourself with every stupid word that comes out of your mouth," Felix states. </p><p>"And that's a fact," Annette finishes. </p><p>"I can't believe y'all are roasting me like this. What have I ever done to deserve such treatment?" </p><p>Annette giggles loudly and Felix doesn't dignify him with another response, leaving Sylvain gaping at the both of them.</p><p>My earlier negative feelings haven't disappeared completely, but they've faded to the back of my mind. There isn't much I can do now, but I'll do anything necessary to help retrieve Claude. </p><p>The rest of the trip to the village continues on with plenty of banter, bickering and teasing. Even I receive a few comments on the way Yuri managed to calm me down with the sole mention of cake. </p><p>It's not my fault that I fell in love with that heavenly goodness. </p><p>"Hey, you could share it with Linhardt!" Raphael booms. </p><p>Ugh, can he not? </p><p>"Linhardt?" Sylvain repeats. I can hear the teasing way of his voice and it gives me a bad feeling. </p><p>If he's going to be as annoying as Claude, I will strike him down. No hesitations.</p><p>"Yes?" Linhardt responds.</p><p>"Wow, so you're the lucky man who captured her heart! Who would have thought you had it in you? Nice job!" </p><p>I'm readying a spell in the palms of my hands. "I'm giving you one chance to zip it, Sylvain. Be wise." </p><p>"Huh? Why? You didn't know she has the hots for you? But you do now, so you can make your move." </p><p>"Sylvain," I warn. </p><p>"Let them figure it out themselves! Don't be stupid, Sylvain, unless you want a Nosferatu on your butt." Annette giggles once more. </p><p>That just makes me want to shut her up too. Why can't anyone just leave Linhardt and me be? Can they really not see he's completely disinterested? He even said it out loud before. He doesn't want a relationship. </p><p>"Hey, Linhardt, aren't you glad? Or are you too flustered to answer?" When I look back, I can see Sylvain nudge Linhardt's side with his elbow.</p><p>He's really asking for it. I thought Claude was annoying before, but Sylvain really has a special way of getting on my nerves.</p><p>"I'm not flustered, actually," Linhardt admits. I stop the flow of magic in my palms in favor of listening to him. "I'm just thinking." </p><p>"Thinking? About what?" Sylvain pushes. </p><p>I'm curious too. Could he be thinking about our date? I mean, despite our argument near the end, it was a nice day. Maybe he's considering us… Could it really be?</p><p>"About where I'll be sleeping later. I doubt there's a comfortable bed anywhere." </p><p>I sigh. I don't know why I got my hopes up. I should have seen this coming, obviously. </p><p>But that doesn't deter Sylvain. "Well, Lysithea's thighs could make a great pillow for you. Warm and nice and soft. Just imagine the feeling of her fingers going through your hair while she feeds you cake. And when you're done, her voice will lull you to sleep." </p><p>I have to admit, the guy's determined. He just doesn't have his priorities straight. </p><p>"That does sound rather nice." </p><p>My ears perk up at that. He thinks that sounds nice? Maybe I've been going about this all wrong up to now. Sylvain might be onto something. Instead of trying to have a good time while Linhardt's awake, maybe I should spend time with him when he's about to go to sleep. </p><p>Well, what could go wrong? </p><p>"Is that the village over there?" Byleth asks. </p><p>I stop looking back at Linhardt and Sylvain in favor of following Byleth's gaze. "Yup, that's right." </p><p>He motions for everyone to stop walking. "Let's be careful from now on. I'll take the lead, cover for me." </p><p>And with that, he resumes his walk. I only now notice we've been walking in some sort of formation. </p><p>Yuri and Dimitri are walking in the middle of everyone, right behind Byleth. Probably because Dimitri isn't in a good state, leaving both him and Yuri unable to fight. Next to them is Linhardt, because he's a healer. On the outside are Dedue, Felix, Sylvain and Raphael, protecting the weaker ones who are in the middle. I noticed before that Annette doesn't have a weapon. So that means she and I have the mage role in the front. And Byleth is walking completely up front, in the middle. </p><p>He really put thought into this. I guess he really was good at his job back then. And he still is now. Since Byleth has joined our forces, I've felt much more safe and secure. He just has that sort of aura over him. </p><p>Simply put, he's amazing. </p><p>"The knights had left after they, what I think, captured Claude," I tell Byleth. I'm still not certain of what happened, since I didn't see, but it's likely that's what happened to Claude.</p><p>"Okay." </p><p>But despite how amazing he is, he's really not a man of many words. Oh well. </p><p>We enter the village, and true to my words, no knight is left here. Most of us are carrying some sort of light cast from a magic spell now, so it's not like they could be hiding from us either.</p><p>"Bring us to your other friends," Byleth tells me. </p><p>We've cleared the village and no knight was seen. </p><p>"Right!" I take over the lead from Byleth and guide everyone over to the small house I left the others in. </p><p>I doubt we all fit in there, but we'll have to make it work somehow. No doubt they want to rest after such a long trip. </p><p>"Here, this is the one." I lead them inside the house and up the stairs. </p><p>"L-Lysithea? Is that you?" Ignatz' voice calls out carefully. </p><p>"Ignatz! It's been so long!" Raphael shouts before he rushes past everyone to give Ignatz a hug. </p><p>"Oh, Raphael! I'm so glad to see you again." </p><p>They stay like that, hugging for a small while as everyone else slowly manages to fit into the small room. </p><p>"We'll rest up for a while," Byleth announces. "Let's start our search for Claude as soon as the sun rises." </p><p>"What do you mean? Can't we go now? We have plenty of light!" Yuri argues. </p><p>"No, we need to rest. We've travelled for quite a while, and we don't know what we'll find once we leave again." </p><p>"Professor, I don't mean to talk back to you, but I would also like to search for Claude as quickly as possible. Who knows what they're doing to him right now?" Dimitri mingles into the argument as well.</p><p>But Byleth still shakes his head. "No, we're resting. This isn't about just the two of you, this is important to everyone. And Dimitri, you're in no state to be doing anything." </p><p>I would like to go search for Claude too, but I don't think I should offer to Yuri to leave with them already. I did get my rest, so it's not a problem for me, but we shouldn't leave everyone behind again. That obviously proved to be a mistake the first time, so I'm not making it again. </p><p>I don't have the same relationship with Claude as they do, but I still want to make up for my mistake. But it wouldn't be a smart thing to go ahead first, so I'm leaving it at this. </p><p>Sorry, guys. </p><p>"Hey, Lysithea?" A whispering voice catches my attention. </p><p>I turn around to see Ingrid and Sylvain standing together, likely in the middle of their reunion. Yet Sylvain still finds the time to bother me.  </p><p>"Look," he whispers as he points at his side. "Linhardt wants to sleep." And he winks. </p><p>He has the audacity to wink at me. </p><p>"Idiot." I'm only pretending to not be interested though, because I'm following Linhardt's movements intently now that Sylvain has pointed him out. </p><p>He seems to be looking at the mattress, considering whether it's decent enough for him to sleep on. </p><p>So, what should I do? Just ask him if he wants to use my lap as a pillow? But that's so obvious! And there are way too many people around. That's too awkward, there's no way I'm doing that! </p><p>"Go, he wants it!" Sylvain winks at me again, which now earns him a slap to the chest from Ingrid. </p><p>"Stop bothering her, she's too young for you!" Ingrid scolds.</p><p>"No, I'm not- I'm not hitting on her, Ingrid, baby! I'm setting her up with someone. Trust me, I know what I'm doing." </p><p>"You're setting her up with someone?" Ingrid asks and Sylvain nods. "And with Linhardt of all people?" Sylvain nods again. "What exactly is wrong with you?" </p><p>"Ah, Ingrid, don't say that! It's what Lysithea wants, don't judge her taste." </p><p>Ingrid looks back at me with a shocked and questioning look. "Really?" </p><p>I'm so tired of everyone being annoying about this. It's Linhardt's fault for being an idiot. If he could just show how great he is all the time, people wouldn't be so negative about him. </p><p>"You don't need to look so shocked," I tell Ingrid. "At least Linhardt isn't gay." </p><p>Her eyes grow wide to the point I'm worried they're going to fall out of their sockets. </p><p>I walk past her towards Linhardt, but I can still hear Sylvain talking to Ingrid. </p><p>"What's she talking about? You like someone? Who is it? Dimitri?" </p><p>"Just shut up, Sylvain!" </p><p>Too bad for her, but I've spent enough time with Felix to figure out some things about him. Mainly that he definitely has more feelings for Sylvain than he would ever admit. </p><p>It's what she gets for being discriminating towards Claude. What goes around, comes around.</p><p>"So, is this a good place for sleeping?" I hold my hands behind my back to seem nonchalant. </p><p>Linhardt finishes his yawn before he looks at me. "Not really. This mattress looks old and dirty."</p><p>"Oh, what do you want to do about that?" Maybe he'll just ask. Doubtful, but maybe.</p><p>"I might just sit in a corner instead. I just wish I'd brought my pillow with me." </p><p>"Hmm, a pillow, huh? Maybe there's something around here that you could use instead." I pretend to look around the room to help him. There obviously isn't anything besides the old mattress and blanket. </p><p>"There isn't, I already checked. I'm so tired though." </p><p>Well, he always is. I just feel like we're both trying really hard to avoid the elephant in the room here. He definitely remembers what Sylvain suggested before, but he's waiting for me to bring it up. I'm doing the exact same thing. </p><p>One of us will have to cave eventually. I just want it to be him so I won't seem like the pushy one. </p><p>He just sighs, a way of proving to me how tired he is. Maybe if I push him a little more... </p><p>"Gosh, you really do sound tired. I can't imagine being unable to sleep after such a long trip too. You poor thing." </p><p>I get a bit closer to him, so that no one else can hear us. It's too embarrassing. It's not that I'm ashamed of my feelings for Linhardt, it's just… It's embarrassing because he doesn't return my feelings. Or at least he doesn't show it.</p><p>But why not? </p><p>"It's really incredibly unfortunate indeed." </p><p>But maybe… He's waiting for me, right? He's always waited for me to make a move. Is he just… insecure? No, Linhardt is anything but insecure. Then, maybe he needs my reassurance to let him know I'm okay with it? </p><p>Is he worried he'll cross my boundaries if I don't show them to him first? </p><p>"Then, would you like to use my lap as your pillow?" If he says yes, it will prove that theory. It will confirm that he's waiting for me to offer something first, before he accepts it. </p><p>If he says no, he really just isn't interested. And if that's the case, I'll give up. I won't bother him anymore. </p><p>"Your lap?" He asks. I hate how his face reveals nothing about his thoughts. </p><p>"W-well, yes… I mean, you could. I don't mind if it's you, so-" I cut my sentence short. I'll be ruining my own theory if I start giving away too much information myself. </p><p>A small smile appears on his face. "Well, if you don't mind." </p><p>Really? He accepted? He really accepted my offer? Oh my god. Oh, my god. So I have a chance! </p><p>"Alright. Would it work if I sit here?" I gesture to the spot on the floor, right next to the mattress. It's hard to keep my cool after my realization, but I can't give away to much now. I might scare him off.</p><p>"Hmm, no, not quite. Sit on the mattress." </p><p>I do as he says, but he gestures it's not far enough yet. I scoot away from him a bit until he lets me know I'm in the right spot. Then he lies down, on the floor, idiot, and rests his head on my thighs. He shifts and turns a bit, but then he stays still, breathing slowly. </p><p>Has he fallen asleep already? There's no way he could fall asleep so quickly. But his face is so still, almost like it's frozen. He's lying on his back, facing up, right towards me. </p><p>Sylvain's words echo through my head. Would Linhardt be okay with it if I play with his hair a bit? He wouldn't notice if he's asleep. </p><p>I approach his face carefully with my hand to brush away a strand of hair. He flinches slightly, but doesn't react any other way. </p><p>So far, so good. </p><p>I move my hand from his forehead to the side of his face, over his cheek. His pale skin is a lot more soft than I ever imagined it to be. I flip my hand so that I'm stroking his skin with the back of my fingers. The inside of my hand is rather rough from all the practice with weapons and I doubt that feels nice against a cheek. </p><p>Honestly, I can't even believe Linhardt is letting me do something like this. This is the closest we've been to each other in a long time. </p><p>We used to play together so much when we were younger. But then he had to go and ruin it… Idiot. </p><p>I move my hand into his hair and stroke it gently. There are a few knots in his strands, which I pull out carefully. He sighs contently. </p><p>In this moment, it's like nothing exists but Linhardt and me. Everything, all of our surroundings have disappeared. My heart swells with the warmth I'm feeling from our contact. I feel it seeping into my legs, which carry it all the way over my whole body. </p><p>I'm not sure how long we spend like this until my eyelids grow heavy as well. My head starts bobbing until I fall asleep as well. The last thing I see being Linhardt's peaceful sleeping face. For the first time in a long time, I feel like my nightmares will stay at bay tonight. </p><p>.</p><p>"Okay, everyone, get up! It's time to leave and I'm not wasting time anymore. Get moving!" </p><p>"Damn, Yuri. Don't be so hard on us, it's like, barely dawn." </p><p>"Sylvain, cut the crap. Just hurry up, I know where we need to go." </p><p>My eyes slowly open, revealing Linhardt's still sleeping face. He can really sleep through everything, can't he? </p><p>I stroke his cheek with my fingers in a fond manner. His eyes slowly blink open, but squint because of the beam of early sunlight shining down on his face. </p><p>"Good morning. Yuri's been commanding that we get up and get ready, so let's go." </p><p>"Ugh, already? I haven't even slept for five hours," he complains with a sleepy, whiny voice. </p><p>"I'm amazed you know how long you've slept. But let's just go. We have important things to do today." </p><p>He rubs his eyes before he pushes himself up and out of my lap. It feels cold in the spot his head was almost immediately, but I decide not to give it too much thought. </p><p>Because Linhardt accepted. He accepted my offer. He confirmed my suspicion and I can't wait to keep testing it on him. As long as I offer, he'll accept. I just have to be brave enough to express my feelings, and then he'll accept. </p><p>He turns around to look at me. We look at each other for a few seconds without saying anything before he opens his mouth. </p><p>"I slept great. Thank you." </p><p>Never thought I'd think this, but thank you Sylvain. You might be a genius in your own special way.</p><p>"You're welcome," I tell him with my sweetest smile. </p><p>And he smiles back. </p><p>Oh my god. Oh my god, his smile is just the cutest. </p><p>"Are you all deaf? Get up!" Yuri's voice booms through the room. </p><p>Ugh, way to ruin a moment. Both Linhardt and I get up to prepare for our next journey. </p><p>"I can't believe all of you," Hilda whines. "You all just barge into our hiding spot and order us around. It's so annoying!" </p><p>"Hilda, come on. We should help too. We've been hiding long enough now. It's time we play our part as well, so let's go with everyone," Ignatz presses. </p><p>And here we go again. </p><p>At least Marianne is packed and ready. </p><p>"Isn't Claude your friend?" Yuri walks up close to Hilda's face. "Didn't he help you? Didn't he literally spare your life by allowing you to leave when things got tough? Huh?" </p><p>She stutters something I can't make out from where I'm standing. </p><p>"What was that? You think it's his fault that he got caught now? While risking his life once more by coming back here for you?! How dare you?!" </p><p>"Yuri, stop. She doesn't understand what happened," Dimitri pulls Yuri away from Hilda. </p><p>"Yes, you're right! I don't understand what happened! You all just expect us to come crawling out of our safe place to die for you? You'll just use us as pawns! We're useless otherwise!" </p><p>"Hilda, please. We won't let you die. Claude wants to see you all. It's the sole reason he risked coming out here in the first place. We'll protect you, so please, come with us," Dimitri starts to plead. </p><p>Can't he see this is exactly what she wants? To put in such little effort that she doesn't need to do a thing, while the rest of us work our butts off? </p><p>Unbelievable. I may have underestimated her ability to play people. But, I guess I'll just suck it up once more. </p><p>After all, Linhardt accepted me. Nothing can ruin my day anymore. </p><p>"Well, fine. But I need to be protected at all times!" </p><p>"Okay," Dimitri agrees. What a big boy, agreeing she'll be protected while being unable to protect her himself. </p><p>Seems that's exactly Yuri's thoughts as well, seeing the glare he shoots at Dimitri.</p><p>"And someone needs to carry my bag, or else I can't run away when I have to!" </p><p>"I got it!" Raphael picks up her bag right away. </p><p>"Oh, and we have to take breaks occasionally because of-" </p><p>"Yes, princess. Let's just leave already." Yuri opens the door and exits first, followed immediately by Byleth and Felix. </p><p>Hilda sticks out her tongue after him, but still follows. </p><p>Sylvain has taken on the job of walking with Dimitri this time, so he helps Dimitri out the door and down the stairs carefully.</p><p>"I suppose we should go as well," Linhardt yawns as he walks ahead before me. "I could really use another nap though." </p><p>I giggle. "Probably tonight." </p><p>I didn't really insinuate anything, but he seems to have gotten the message just fine.</p><p>"I'm keeping you to that," he guarantees.</p><p>And I'm keeping you to that.</p><p>.~ Claude ~.</p><p>Ugh. How long have I been out of it this time? My head feels groggy, like it always does when I sleep too much. At least I'm warm and cozy.</p><p>I sit up from where I've been lying down in my… bed? Is this my own bed, in my room? But that means I'm inside the monastery. The knights must have taken me here. </p><p>What the fuck? </p><p>Ah, I'm probably dreaming again. That would explain a lot. </p><p>My room hasn't changed at all. It gives me a nostalgic feeling, looking around at everything. My messy desk, my small bed, the dirty window… Everything is exactly the same as I left it. </p><p>I slowly rise from my bed and I notice I'm wearing nightwear. I didn't even bring any nightwear. Silly brains. </p><p>I wonder if my door is locked. If this is a dream, it shouldn't be. </p><p>I walk over to the familiar door and try the doorknob. It actually does open, confirming my speculations of this being a dream. After all, why would they leave my door open? </p><p>The door swings open fully, leaving me able to look around the hallway. It's lit brightly, allowing me to see the overly familiar sight I've seen so many times before. </p><p>Voices are sounding from the hall up ahead, so I decide to check out who it is. At least I can hear things this time. </p><p>As soon as I come into vision of the people that were talking, their faces shift into something surprised, then shocked, then disgust and then they leave, quickly. </p><p>Hm, really nothing's changed since I left. Even the people still treat me the same.</p><p>Can't say I missed feeling this way; dejected. After having spent so much time with people who've come to accept me, it hurts to be treated like this again. </p><p>I feel like I'm missing something here. Can I wake up? </p><p>I'd like to wake up now and see where the knights have put me. If I'm stuck in another prison cell, I'm going to go crazy. </p><p>I squeeze my eyes shut and reopen them, only to be greeted by the same sight as before. </p><p>Hm.</p><p>Okay, let's try something else then. </p><p>I pinch the skin on my wrist. Nothing happens, so I pinch harder. It actually hurts, but still, nothing happens. </p><p>There has to be a way to wake up willingly, right? </p><p>This time, I slap my cheeks with both my hands. The sight before me still doesn't change, so I slap harder. </p><p>After a few new light bruises on my forearms and freshly stinging red skin on my cheeks, I figured out that I'm not, in fact, dreaming. </p><p>I'm really back inside the monastery. I really just left my own room, where I've been sleeping. Those people I just saw were really there. </p><p>What the serious actual fuck is going on? </p><p>I go back to my bedroom quickly. I need to think for a bit and I can't be interrupted by whatever. I sit back down on my bed and close my eyes to concentrate.</p><p>Okay, this is fine. Let's go with facts first. I just woke up in my bed. It's morning, or maybe noon. I'm inside the monastery, where the people aren't any different than they have been. Where nothing is any different than it has been.</p><p>Why am I feeling so weird?</p><p>My head doesn't even hurt. Those knights definitely hit my head, but I can't feel it at all. What does that mean? What does all of this mean? </p><p>Nothing has changed in this monastery since I left. Then… did I even leave? Did Rhea ever send me outside? Did all of that really happen?</p><p>Argh, how can I even think that?! Of course I left, I saved this country! </p><p>I'll figure this out. There is no way all of that was a dream. The graduation test, the infected, the walls not opening, the village, the forest, Remire Village, Solon… </p><p>My heartbeat starts picking up. But what if all that has been a dream? What if I just made all of that up? I mean, it sounds unbelievable enough to have been a great fantasy. But then...</p><p>My Deer, my friends, Flayn, Byleth, Dimitri, Yuri… That was all fake. My brain just made all of that up over night. </p><p>I shake my head to rid it of these weird thoughts. I refuse to believe that was all a dream. </p><p>Wait, I have scars to prove it. On both my wrists, there's teeth marks from those infected. </p><p>With a relieved feeling, I roll up my sleeves to reveal the designated scars, but none appear. There aren't any scars. </p><p>There aren't any scars. </p><p>For a minute, I just sit there, blinking and staring at my smooth, unmarked wrists. </p><p>No. No, there is no way. This is not possible. </p><p>I'm gonna go out there and bother every single person I see until someone tells me what the fuck is actually going on here. </p><p>I get back up from my bed to get dressed properly. I honestly don't even care about how I look, but it's easier to move around in pants. </p><p>Rhea's messing with me, I'm sure. Don't worry Rhea, I'm coming for you. Mess with my head all you want, but I know that everything that happened was real. </p><p>It has to be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, in case you hadn't noticed, Lysithea is one of my fave characters heeheehee and I love her and linny together </p><p>I'll do a oneshot one of these days to explain their backstory :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hiiii you all! :)</p><p>I wrote a shorter chapter this week and I'm sO SORRY FOR THAT it's just this week's been so busy with work and my bday was yesterday and my brother has baby kitties (they're the cutest ever) </p><p>TERRIBLE EXCUSES I KNOW next week will be better :')</p><p>Hope you still like the chapter!! Although I kinda think it feels a bit rushed but that's probably bc I rushed</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>.~ Lysithea ~.</p><p>It's a weird idea, travelling with so many people now. Especially since we've never been with more than ten people at once. </p><p>They say safety comes with numbers, but I'm not so sure about that right now. Everyone seems much too distracted for my liking. I'm not about to comment on it though, I'm not the leader. </p><p>I glance over at Yuri, who looks to be anything but happy about the way things are going. </p><p>And Hilda isn't even the problem this time. </p><p>Dimitri hasn't been doing well since this morning. He threw up twice since we got outside. Linhardt told me it has to do with the fact that his head wound still hasn't healed completely, and that his inner ear might have been damaged. </p><p>All the walking has aggravated his injuries, and he's dealing with the consequences now. But since we can't actually leave him behind, we can only move along at a pace that's comfortable for him. </p><p>Which is really, incredibly slow. </p><p>"How are you holding up, Dimitri?" Ingrid asks from where she's walking to his side. </p><p>"I'm… managing. Somewhat." </p><p>I can hear in his way of talking that he's really struggling. Any other person would have asked to stop, but not this guy. </p><p>I can only dream that Linhardt would ever push himself like that for me, but who am I kidding? </p><p>"Try to keep your eye closed," Byleth suggests. "It might help." </p><p>Dimitri follows his order and closes his eye. Not for long though, because Sylvain is a terrible guide who forgot to warn Dimitri for a stone that's sticking out. </p><p>"Ah, my bad. Sorry," he says with an apologetic chuckle. </p><p>Dimitri just sighs as he keeps shuffling forward. There's sweat on his brow, despite the chilly temperature. </p><p>"Can't somebody else help Dimitri?" Ingrid asks. "Sylvain is too much of a moron." </p><p>"I'm positive I could carry him. Please, leave him to me," Dedue says. </p><p>"Perfect. Thank you, Dedue, I did not think this would be so difficult." Sylvain releases his hold on Dimitri's wrist to guide it over Dedue's shoulder instead. He lifts him up in one go. </p><p>"Great, can we keep moving now?" Yuri pushes. "We're almost there." </p><p>Finally. We're almost near the underground passage. When I look around, I honestly don't recognize this part of the village. It really was well-hidden. I should have realized the house Linhardt had been in was an indication though. </p><p>"Yuri," before mentioned man starts. "I was told that the passage would be guarded. Can we pass through like this?" </p><p>Oh, right. The sole reason he never told us where the passage was. I don't think it'll be such a problem though. We have plenty of strong fighters with us this time. </p><p>"Please don't tell me we have to fight," Hilda whines. "I thought the fighting would be over now that the infected are gone." </p><p>"Fighting? Why would we fight?" Sylvain asks. </p><p>That's right, the Blue Lions besides Dimitri don't know about the passage. </p><p>"If there's a fight, I'll handle it." </p><p>"If there's a fight, Felix, we'll all fight," Ingrid scolds. </p><p>"Not me! Don't count me in, I'll cheer you on instead." </p><p>"That would help a lot, Hilda. Thanks!" Sylvain winks at her.</p><p>Sure, so useful too. Ugh.</p><p>"Since you'll all fight, I guess I'll sit this one out as well." Linhardt yawns right as he finishes talking. </p><p>Seriously? What is up with these people? I thought we'd all be on the same page by now.</p><p>"Guys!" Yuri turns around with a glare. "For god's sake, there's no need for fighting! They're my own men, they won't harm anyone I'm with, so calm down." </p><p>"Oof, thankfully," Annette says as she wipes a metaphoric drop of sweat off her brow. </p><p>"Yeah, that's some good news for once!" Ignatz exclaims.</p><p>"I wanted to fight," Byleth still mutters. </p><p>How dare he be disappointed about that? The amount of diversity amongst these people is mesmerizing. </p><p>Either way, I'm glad as well that we don't have to fight. Even if we won't gain experience, we don't need to risk getting hurt either. </p><p>"Alright, here it is. Inside this house, there's a staircase that leads to the underground tunnel. It's not big, but we'll fit. Be on your guards though." Yuri enters the house first, followed immediately by Byleth. </p><p>I guess he really is eager to fight, huh. Better him than myself. I'll stay with Linhardt to protect him. </p><p>I can't help but let out a small giggle at the thought of me having to protect Linhardt. He's not a good fighter at all, the lazy bum he is. </p><p>"Felix, how about we stay on the rear for now," Sylvain suggests.</p><p>Felix gives him a glare, but then shrugs. "Fine. But if we see enemies, I'm taking them." </p><p>"Sure, fine. I'll protect you when you need it," Sylvain replies with a smile. </p><p>No more answers come from Felix, which makes Sylvain laugh loudly. </p><p>I figured out how Felix feels, but now I'm just left wondering about Sylvain. He obviously enjoys teasing Felix, but is that all? </p><p>I don't know. I don't feel comfortable around Sylvain at all, so I'm not about to try and find out. And besides, I have my own romance problems to fix. </p><p>I glance over at Linhardt, who seems to be waiting for me to enter the house before him. I'd like to think he's doing that according to the ladies-first-rule, but I know better than to believe that. He wants to use me as a human shield. </p><p>But that's fine. </p><p>I follow after Ignatz and Raphael into the house. It's smelly and dark in here. </p><p>I hear reassuring footsteps behind me. That means Linhardt, Sylvain, Felix and myself are the rear-guard in this mission. </p><p>Yuri said there's nothing to worry about, since his own people are supposedly down here, but what about the knights? They have the upper hand over the underground people at all times, since they follow Rhea's orders. </p><p>I'll just have to trust Felix' fighting instincts to make sure we won't get ambushed from behind.</p><p>I hate how tense I am now. I know we shouldn't expect to get in any trouble here, but we really don't know what we're going to find once we get inside the monastery. </p><p>I just hope my parents are doing alright. No doubt that they've been worried for my safety. And if Rhea told them that I died, they've probably been grieving my death as well. </p><p>The thought of my parents being hurt so bad just makes my stomach churn. The first thing I'll do is go to my parents and reassure them. The others will go and find Claude, right? </p><p>At least Yuri and Byleth will, since they don't have any family in the monastery. But the rest of us… Surely it's understandable that we want to see our families again. Yuri can't be angry with us about that. </p><p>He doesn't have the right to, anyway. </p><p>"Oh, my. Look at all this! It's amazing!" Ingrid's loud voice sounds from up ahead. </p><p>It seems the others have reached the bottom of this staircase already. I want to hurry and see what's up ahead too. </p><p>"Ingrid, can you not? We're trying not to draw too much attention right now," Yuri explains.</p><p>Makes sense, yes. I'll try to contain my excitement too. Also because I'm not childish like that. </p><p>"I'm really not looking forward to this," Linhardt announces. "It's such a drag to keep fixing and solving everything. Why couldn't we just have stayed in Remire Village?" </p><p>"That would be because Claude got taken? Don't be selfish now, you've had plenty of time to relax." Why does he have to do this now? </p><p>"Yes, and I was perfectly happy there. I don't see why you need me here when there's not even going to be any fighting." </p><p>I roll my eyes with a loud and annoyed sigh. "We still don't know what's going on inside, so stop making excuses and just come with us." </p><p>This is really one side of Linhardt that I dislike. He has such amazing talents, yet he just doesn't do anything with them. </p><p>He sighs and continues on after me. "There's no reward that could ever measure up to the efforts I'm making here." </p><p>Sure, sure. What a sad boy. I almost feel bad for him. Almost. But we're in the same boat here so there's no way I'm going to pretend to sympathize with him, despite how much he's asking for it. </p><p>We finally see what Ingrid was just talking about and I have to admit; she's absolutely right. It is amazing down here. </p><p>It's absolutely huge. There's houses, markets, streaming water even and it's all underground! I had no idea this existed down here. And it seems to be going on and on, all the way to underneath the monastery. </p><p>It's going to be quite a trip to make it there, but I can't wait to see all that is down here. I suddenly don't feel like rushing anymore. </p><p>"Okay, just keep following me," Yuri instructs. "I don't want any of you to wander off or get lost, so don't do anything stupid. If anyone asks what you're doing here, just tell them you're with me." </p><p>"Uhm, who is anyone?" Ignatz asks. </p><p>"The citizens of Abyss. They've lived here all their lives, so trust me when I say they don't enjoy intruders." </p><p>I can hear Ignatz swallow from where I'm standing. It's too bad, but it looks like we won't be exploring much. </p><p>"Yuri-bird? Is that you?" A female voice sounds from up ahead. </p><p>"Ah, Hapi. Tell everyone I'm back and warn them for any knights. No knights are passing through anymore." </p><p>"Wow, okay. You're here for five seconds and you're already ordering me around. Still, I'm glad to see you again." And with that, she seems to be running off again. </p><p>I didn't get a good look at her, since we're pretty much in the back, but she sounded like a nice girl. </p><p>"Are you like, their leader or something?" Annette asks. </p><p>"That's right. They listen to my orders and mine alone, no matter what any knight tells them to do." </p><p>"That's so cool!" </p><p>That is pretty cool. I refuse to be as impressed as Annette though. I'm more mature than her. </p><p>Still, I'm a little worried now. Yuri is expecting knights down here. But even with the citizens of Abyss protecting us, will we find a way to get back? I really hope so. </p><p>My parents, Claude… We have to find a way to get back in there. </p><p>"Let's move. I don't intend to let the knights get here before my people all know their orders." </p><p>Yuri starts walking again, followed by the rest of us. The people from here are either staring at us or running around hectically. </p><p>We're definitely intruders here. It feels weird and awkward. </p><p>Linhardt suddenly comes to walk next to me. "Imagine if we'd come here back when you all were planning on passing through here. We'd have been dead within seconds, whether we had Edelgard's permission or not." </p><p>"I'd rather not imagine to be honest. I'm glad you stopped us," I admit with a soft laugh. </p><p>"Same here."</p><p>I can't help but overhear Felix talking to Sylvain. With every person we pass, he tells Sylvain whether he could take them on or not. Well, not entirely unsurprising, but he feels he can take on every single person here. All Sylvain does, is laugh and agree. </p><p>Idiots. They should be thankful that we don't have to fight anyone down here. </p><p>"Hey, Yuri?" Linhardt asks. </p><p>"Hmm?" </p><p>"Do you perhaps know Edelgard?" </p><p>"Who?" </p><p>"Edelgard, the leader of the Black Eagles," Dimitri explains now. "She came through here with her group a while ago." </p><p>"Well… I can't say I know of her, but she shouldn't have been able to pass without anyone's permission here. I'll ask my Wolves when we see them." </p><p>So Edelgard got someone's permission? But how? Unless she knew about this place and who lives here. </p><p>"How peculiar," Linhardt says. </p><p>I agree with that. How far has she planned ahead to arrange all of this? It's incredibly hard to believe. </p><p>We keep walking towards the monastery. The trip is still long enough for me to look around quite a lot. It's incredible, how anyone has managed to build all this underground. The whole place is lit up with torches, candles and various other light sources. </p><p>It's beautiful, but I wouldn't want to live here. The people here are so extremely pale and just… weird-looking. Obviously from lack of sunlight. </p><p>I feel so bad for them. Maybe now that the infected are gone, these people could find their happiness outside. I'd like that for them. </p><p>"Oh, my! Could that possibly be you, Yuri? Have you finally rediscovered your way home?" A woman with short, curly blonde hair asks. </p><p>Her voice is loud, it hurts my ears. </p><p>"Yes, Constance. I'm finally back. I got into some trouble along the way, but I've succeeded. And thanks Hapi, you did great." </p><p>"You're welcome. Everyone's been waiting for your return anyways. I'm sure they're sick of us by now." </p><p>"That's a falsity, Hapi," The woman named Constance objects. "I have heard no word of anyone becoming tired of our leadership over them. Yuri's return was undoubtedly no necessity for the inhabitants of Abyss." </p><p>"She talks weird," Sylvain whispers. "But she's still gorgeous, so I can overlook that." </p><p>"Literally no one asked for your opinion, Sylvain," Felix spits. </p><p>Their interaction just makes me laugh. They're both idiots, no matter how you look at it. </p><p>"Although, Yuri, I must say, it is quite the unusual sight, looking at you without your makeup. Is there a reason you've stopped painting your face?" </p><p>He shoots her a glare, which makes her smile triumphantly. </p><p>Yuri wears makeup? I bet that would look ridiculous. It takes a lot of effort not to laugh at the idea. </p><p>"That's none of your business, shady lady. Any trouble while I was gone?" </p><p>"Nothing of the matter, in fact! We have done an outstanding job, I must say. Although, I'm honestly not certain of what has kept Balthus occupied. Nevertheless, Hapi and I have kept everything under control." </p><p>She really does talk weird. </p><p>"Great. I want you to keep that up, I still have more business to take care of." </p><p>"You're leaving again?" Hapi asks incredulously. "Even though you just got back." </p><p>"Yeah. Like I said, more business. If it becomes too much for you, just-" </p><p>"Knights are coming! Get ready!" Someone shouts.</p><p>Knights? Seriously? And here I thought we'd be able to pass through peacefully. </p><p>"Perfect," I can hear Byleth say as he readies his sword. </p><p>"I've been waiting for this," Felix says behind me. </p><p>My heart starts pounding. I don't want to fight again. I mean, how are we supposed to fend off these knights in an underground space? It's impossible to do that without destroying anything. </p><p>"Do you really want us to fight them, Yuri-bird? We might not be able to hold them off for long." </p><p>"You have to. Just hold them off for as long as you can, I need to get inside the monastery with these guys. I'll explain everything to you later. Also, let as much of the inhabitants outside, it's safe now." </p><p>Both women look at him with big eyes. I guess it is weird to hear that after so long. </p><p>But we have other things to be worried about. Some of Yuri's people have already engaged in a fight with the knights who are trying to pass through Abyss to go outside. </p><p>Byleth is already discussing a strategy with everyone, making sure they know their parts in the upcoming fight. Neither Linhardt, nor Hilda gets to sit out this time. </p><p>Alright then, let's do this.</p><p>.~ Claude ~.</p><p>I take another deep breath to calm myself a little. Rhea is just messing with me. She's just messing with my head to try and make me believe that this has all been a dream.</p><p>But it hasn't. </p><p>I don't have any reason not to believe it has been a dream. I just want it to have been real. </p><p>As selfish and possibly cruel as it may be, I want everything that happened to me to be real. The pain, the suffering, the deaths included. </p><p>I exit my room once more. Where should I go first? Rhea's chamber? </p><p>No, that's much too risky. If she's really evil, she could kill me like this. I don't even have any weapons on me. </p><p>Hold on, my dagger! The knights took my dagger from me! </p><p>I'm such a genius. If it was a dream, my dagger should be under my pillow right now. </p><p>I rush back into my bedroom and practically fling my head pillow away. Its absence actually reveals… my dagger. It's lying there, in perfect condition. </p><p>No scars on my wrists… my dagger right under my pillow… </p><p>That can't be. </p><p>A heavy feeling of disappointment settles in my heart, making my eyes water. </p><p>As happy as I am to see my mother's dagger again, I'm sure I would have gladly given it up to get back what I lost just now. </p><p>All of my feelings. My relationships. My accomplishments. </p><p>It's all gone. No, scratch that. It all never happened. </p><p>I'm still the rat of the monastery. I'm still the sneaky bastard no one trusts. The outsider nobody likes. </p><p>Maybe… I should just accept this. It was all a dream. A great, unbelievable dream that I'll hopefully never forget. </p><p>Even if it was all fake, I was still the happiest I've been in a long time. </p><p>I blink away my tears. No use in crying over something that never happened. I'll just gather my things and start my day. </p><p>With the heaviest heart I've ever had, I exit my room for the final time. I feel like such an idiot right now. </p><p>At least the sun is shining. Maybe I can find a few minutes to bask in the sunlight today. After cleaning duties and archery practice. </p><p>I wonder if I see one of my Deer today. Would they ignore me again? Would they avoid me? </p><p>Probably. There's no way they'd suddenly be nice to me just because I had a dream that involved them. </p><p>Or Dimitri… Would he still be watching me from a distance, silently pining for me? </p><p>I huff. Of course he isn't. </p><p>I made that up too. He's still with… </p><p>...Edelgard. </p><p>He's probably not even gay. </p><p>Stupid, stupid brains. </p><p>But what about Yuri? Is he even real? Or did I accidentally make him up one day when I was reading some sappy novel? </p><p>I pass two students in the hallway. Right after I walk away, I can hear them whisper something to each other. </p><p>"That was him, right?" </p><p>"Yeah, just avoid him as much as possible." </p><p>Ouch. A disgusting taste starts to spread in my mouth, which makes my stomach turn. </p><p>How was I used to this treatment before? Before this one dream that changed me. That's not possible, is it? To change a whole person just by dreaming. </p><p>But that's what happened. A dream changed me. </p><p>Ridiculous. Stop being so riled up over a damn dream and do what you have to. </p><p>I make my way towards the kitchen, where my cleaning duty starts. Cleaning duty isn't so bad. The head chef sometimes talks to me. </p><p>"Good morning," I greet. </p><p>"'Morning!" I get back. </p><p>Maybe I could ask her. </p><p>"Hey, ma'am? Uhm, maybe this is a weird question, but could you tell me if-" </p><p>"Can you start with the floor? It hasn't been done in a while. And no more chit-chat now, it's time for work." </p><p>"Right." That was rude. I don't know why I expected anything different. </p><p>How long is it going to take until I can get back to living my life normally again? This is crazy. </p><p>There's no way that one dream can have such a huge effect on me. It's just not possible. </p><p>But there's just no other way to explain what happened. </p><p>I finish up cleaning the floor, like the head chef asked me to do. After that, I dusted off all the cabinets and after that, I cleaned all the dishes. </p><p>I didn't get a chance to talk to the woman again, and the rest of the kitchen staff ignored me. </p><p>I hate this already. I miss my friends so much right now. </p><p>Or well, what I once imagined were my friends. </p><p>I want to go back to my room and sleep and wake up inbetween Dima's and Yuri's warm bodies. </p><p>That'd be nice, but it never actually happened. I never got my first kiss. I never felt the warmth of their hugs and I never found out what it's like to be wanted. </p><p>How desperate for affection must I have been to dream something like that? A three-way relationship; who would want that? </p><p>I'm just gonna go outside and lie in the sun. Hopefully I'll fall asleep and then this shitty day will be over already. </p><p>And then it's time for the next shitty day.</p><p>I'm practically dragging my feet to the courtyard. I can't think of anything that could motivate me right now. Nothing except my friends. </p><p>Right as I pass another hallway, I hear something weird. </p><p>"Psst. Pssssst." </p><p>I look around, but I can't find the source of the sound. What the fuck? </p><p>"Psssssssst." </p><p>I finally spot a boy with light blue hair, sitting on the ground around a corner. </p><p>Right then, a teacher crosses my path and sees him as well. He raises an eyebrow at the boy, who looks startled enough to be considered suspicious. </p><p>"Pspspsps." He crawls out of his hiding spot, pretending to be searching for something. "I'm looking for a cat, hehe. Pspspspsps." </p><p>What an idiot. I do wonder what he wants from me though, so I pretend to walk off while I wait behind a wall. </p><p>After a few seconds, the boy calls out to me. </p><p>"You still there? I need to talk to you!" </p><p>Talk to me? That's new. I know I've seen this guy before, but I just don't remember where. </p><p>"Yeah, I'm here. What's up?" </p><p>He grabs my arm and pulls me off to somewhere. I just follow him, since I have nothing better to do anyway. At least one exciting thing is happening today. </p><p>"Listen, I'm taking you to Edelgard's current hiding place. My name's Caspar, by the way! Just don't look suspicious and we'll be fine." </p><p>Edelgard's hiding place? What the hell? Why would she be hiding? </p><p>Unless… </p><p>No, don't make assumptions. Maybe she just wants to discuss something about Dimitri. </p><p>"Yeah, we definitely don't seem suspicious like this. Not at all." </p><p>He suddenly lets go of my arm with an embarrassed smile. "Right, sorry. I got a bit excited. Just stay down now, people can't see me with you or I'll be fucked." </p><p>That still hurts, but he's right. He shouldn't be seen with me. Not if he wants to stay a good student, anyway. </p><p>He leads me through numerous hallways and I get the feeling I know where Edelgard's hiding place is. </p><p>I used to hide there myself when I wanted some time to just escape this crappy world and indulge in a novel for a few hours. </p><p>"Well, I think this is the place," he announces before he opens a door. </p><p>This is definitely the place. </p><p>Quite a few pairs of eyes turn to me as soon as I come into vision. </p><p>The Black Eagles are all gathered in this small room. Well, aside from two members, I now notice. Caspar not included in the absent ones.</p><p>"Ah, thank you for bringing him, Caspar. I hope you managed to stay out of trouble this time." Edelgard's intense lavender eyes seem to pierce right through anything she looks at. </p><p>Talk about intimidating. </p><p>"Yup, but it was a close one!" </p><p>She nods briefly before she turns her gaze my way. "Now, Claude. There are some things I need to discuss with you. Please, have a seat." </p><p>She gestures to a pillow on the floor, right in front of her own. </p><p>I swallow audibly. The atmosphere just became incredibly tense and I don't feel comfortable in here at all. </p><p>What could she possibly have to talk to me about?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello hello!! </p><p>Hope y'all are still safe and healthy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Please, have a seat." </p><p>I take the few steps forward until I've reached the pillow in front of Edelgard's. My heart is pounding. </p><p>What is she going to tell me? I'm scared, but incredibly curious. </p><p>"Now, first of all," Edelgard starts. "I'd like to offer you my apology. The way I've behaved towards you was very much out of line, so I hope you'll forgive me for it." </p><p>For a moment, even my thoughts are blank. What world is this? Edelgard, apologizing to me? </p><p>Something about this is already very wrong. </p><p>"I- uhm… That's- I forgive you? I think?" What is she even apologizing for?</p><p>"The poor soul," a girl next to me with long, brown hair says. "He has no idea how to handle you when you speak this way, Edie." </p><p>A small smirk appears on Edelgard's otherwise serious face. "It seems so. Look, Claude, we were off to a bad start. But I hope we can find a way to get past that and hopefully work together for the time being." </p><p>Work together? </p><p>"He looks to be having the confusion, Edelgard," another girl speaks up. </p><p>I look to be having what now? </p><p>I can't help but be curious about the girl who just spoke. She looks foreign, just like me, but very different. She has markings on her face, but she still looks pretty. </p><p>"That's Petra," Edelgard clarifies for me. "Unlike you, she was born inside the monastery, but her parents were not. Her mother gave birth to her here, but kept her hidden for a very long time. Because she was hidden, her mother spoke to her in their native language. Therefore, she never properly learned our language, which she's been studying for a few years now. Although not quite perfect, she's still doing a very good job in speaking it." </p><p>I recall hearing something like that happening. A girl had been found in one of the dorms who didn't even speak our language. </p><p>Both her parents got punished with a death sentence. </p><p>"It's very nice to be meeting you!" Petra exclaims cheerfully. </p><p>"Nice to meet you too," I reply with a smile. </p><p>She seems nice. In all honesty, they all seem nice. Even the girl ducked away in the corner. Well, all except Edelgard anyway, but even she's acting friendly to me. </p><p>What is actually going on?</p><p>Edelgard shifts in her seat, making herself a bit more comfortable. "How about I introduce you to everyone first? I don't suppose you've met these people before." </p><p>I look around the room once. I have seen them before, but I never really had the opportunity to talk to them. I didn't really have a reason to, either.</p><p>"Yes, I'd like that." </p><p>She said she wants to work together. Best to know who exactly I'll be working with if I accept. </p><p>"Well, Petra I just introduced, so there's no need for doubles. Right next to you, is Dorothea. She's one of the few regular students who was allowed to take magic classes, which makes her exceptional. Aside from that, she loves to sing. You might have heard her before." </p><p>I look back at the girl with long, brown hair, Dorothea. She smiles broadly and actually winks at me, so I return both gestures. She giggles and gently slaps my arm. "You flirt," she accuses playfully.</p><p>"Well," Edelgard interrupts quickly. "Over here is Ferdinand. He's a good student, but tends to take his 'responsibilities' as an honor student a bit too seriously. You'll find he's very devoted and motivated with everything he does, little as it may be." </p><p>"Of course!" He booms. "That's what all honor students should do. After all, we're the examples for the regular students!" </p><p>"Regular students know how to behave without you as an example too, Ferdie. Don't be so arrogant." Dorothea's tone in voice changed drastically, causing a chill to run down my spine. </p><p>I get the feeling she doesn't like Ferdinand much, despite the nickname she's given him.</p><p>Edelgard coughs awkwardly. "Let's just continue. This, over here, is Caspar. He enjoys training and recklessly runs into any fight or otherwise dangerous situation he comes across. He's quite a handful, I must say." </p><p>"Hey! I'm not that bad. I do it for a good cause!" He defends. </p><p>"A handful," she repeats with a sigh. "I don't know if you noticed her, but in that corner over there, is Bernadetta. She's terrified of everything and, well… That's all I can really say about her with confidence." </p><p>My eyes glance over to the girl in the corner once more. Terrified of everything? She certainly looks terrified. </p><p>Poor thing. </p><p>"S-sorry, I don't like s-strangers! Please, don't hurt me!" </p><p>Does she mean me? </p><p>Edelgard rolls her eyes and Dorothea shows a sympathetic smile. </p><p>"Are you talking to me?" I ask, because I'm kinda confused. "I won't hurt you." </p><p>She squeals loudly, making all of our faces scrunch up in uncomfortability because of the high pitch. </p><p>"Bernie, not so loud! We're hiding, remember?" Dorothea tries to talk some sense into her.</p><p>"I-I'm sorry. Oh, I messed up again! Of course I did! Please forgive me, I don't want to d-die!" </p><p>Wow. I can't believe I'm granted the presence of the Queen of Jumping to Wrong Conclusions. Ruler of the Paranoid Nation, leader of the Overthinkers.</p><p>"Thanks for the introductions, but I'd like to know now that the hell is going on here. Was I dreaming?" It's still the most important question in my head. </p><p>I just need to know for certain. </p><p>Edelgard huffs a small laugh. "No, Claude. You were not dreaming. Everything out there really happened. It seems that Lady Rhea has tried to mess with your head a bit when you returned." </p><p>I stand up immediately, unable to hide my excitement. "Yes! Yes, I knew it! It couldn't have been a dream, there was no way!" </p><p>"Dude, shush! We're hiding, okay? Hiding!" Caspar scolds. </p><p>I sit back down right away. "Right, sorry." </p><p>Still though, I wasn't dreaming. So Rhea was just messing with me after all. </p><p>Unless… What if Edelgard is working with the Rhea in here? Then she'd tell me what I want to hear in order to gain my trust.</p><p>I squint my eyes at Edelgard in suspicion. She's allowed to know I don't trust her yet. Especially if everything did really happen. </p><p>She led herself and her group to safety while the rest of us were still out there, fighting for our lives. </p><p>That's just unforgivable. </p><p>Edelgard sighs deeply. "You must have quite some questions for me. If you ask those first, will you let me tell my story after?" </p><p>I nod. "Sounds fine. Why'd you have a map of what outside looks like?" </p><p>She blinks a few times, and then shows a small smirk. "Right off the bat, huh? I suppose I'll be telling you my story first after all. Quite a few years ago, a tragedy occurred here, in the monastery. Seteth had hidden it under the name of a sickness, but I know the truth of what happened." </p><p>The gears in my head start turning. A tragedy, disguised under the name of a sickness…I know I heard about that before. It couldn't be about the children, right? </p><p>"Do you maybe mean the children's deaths?" </p><p>She nods. "That's correct. The so-called sickness they died from, wasn't a sickness. It was experimentation. I know it was, because… I, myself, was a victim of it." </p><p>No way. Edelgard went through the same thing Lysithea did? The images of Lysithea crying, her small body tossing and turning in her bed from those terrible nightmares, all of them resurface. </p><p>Edelgard suffered like that? </p><p>"Your eyes tell me you know a bit about this," Edelgard comments. </p><p>"Yeah, I… Lysithea once told me about her nightmares. We kinda came to the conclusion that those nightmares had been real, which ultimately led to us figuring out that it happened here, in the monastery. I don't know more than that though, I came back to find out." </p><p>She nods. "Lysithea, as well as myself, is indeed a survivor of those experiments. But the truth behind those experiments is even darker. We underwent all that pain, the suffering, in order to become perfect soldiers for their army." </p><p>Their army… Edelgard doesn't even need to tell me who 'they' are. I know plenty well who. Solon, the fake Rhea and Seteth… </p><p>"You asked how I got the map," Edelgard continues, but I'm not ready to move onto a new subject yet.</p><p>"No, wait. What kind of soldiers?" I want to know what they were planning for Lysithea. </p><p>Her eyes grow a bit larger, probably because I shamelessly interrupted her just now. "Right, of course. Once a soldier would get influenced with the magic spell they created along with those soldiers, they would turn into hideous, powerful… monsters, designed to kill and nothing else. You've done a good job with protecting Lysithea. Had she died out there, she would have taken you all down with her. Not on purpose, of course, but that's what she's created for." </p><p>My mouth goes dry at that. If Lysithea had died, she would have turned into a monster? She would have killed all of us. </p><p>"Is that also why she's so strong? I mean, her magic and stuff." </p><p>Edelgard nods in confirmation. </p><p>"Hold on," Ferdinand holds up a hand to indicate he has a question. "So if you die, Edelgard, you will turn into a ...monster?"</p><p>"You never said anything about that!" Caspar meddles. </p><p>"No, no. Don't misunderstand. If I had been murdered by those undeads out there, I would have come in contact with the magic spell and that would have turned me into a monster. Why do you think I returned to the monastery as quickly as possible? As long as the magic doesn't touch me, I'll stay human." </p><p>So that's why she went back inside so soon, she was already aware of her own condition. But why wouldn't she take Lysithea with her then? Lysithea being out there was a huge risk, especially because the rest of us had no idea.</p><p>Probably Edelgard's selfish nature.</p><p>"Good thing we got rid of the magic then. And the caster." </p><p>Everyone's eyes settle on me. </p><p>"You took down the mage who casted the spell? But how?" Edelgard asks with huge eyes.</p><p>"We got some good allies. They did most of the work, but I was there." I'm not going to tell her who or where they are right now. </p><p>I can show her a bit of trust, so she'll trust me in return, but I don't intend to put all of my faith in her. Not until she tells me what exactly her intentions are. </p><p>"Unbelievable," she mutters. "And Lysithea survived?" </p><p>I nod. "We all did. Although, Dimitri lost his eye, but he's okay. He just looks like an evil pirate captain now, it's amazing. You should see him when he tries to eat, he can't even put the fork in his mou-" </p><p>"Way to bring up a painful subject, idiot!" Dorothea hisses at me. </p><p>Painful subject..? Ah, fuck. </p><p>"Uhm, sorry about that, I-" </p><p>"It's alright." Edelgard takes a deep breath. "I'm glad to hear he's fine, along with your other allies. But I suppose your allies are still outside, then? At least, I'm assuming it's safe again now." </p><p>I nod. "Yeah, I accidentally got captured by the knights, but the others should still be out there somewhere." </p><p>Her lavender eyes seem to pierce through my very soul. She figured out I'm hiding their location from her. No matter, I'll never tell her. </p><p>"Either way, now that I've explained all that, I'll continue on with answering your question about the map. Hubert and I have been trying to find a way to dethrone Lady Rhea, so that these experiments will never happen again. We came up with many ideas, but none of them worked. Eventually, we settled for simply taking over the monastery by force. In order to do that, we needed to get closer to Lady Rhea for more information about them. Hubert took on that job, serving her and working together with her in order to gain her favor, which got him the map." </p><p>So Hubert is the true rat here. But then…</p><p>"Where's Hubert?" </p><p>For a few seconds, everyone fidgets uncomfortably. </p><p>"Well, Hubie… He sort of betrayed us…" Dorothea explains with a nervous chuckle.</p><p>"Hubert betrayed you all? You?" I look at Edelgard. </p><p>"That's right," Edelgard confirms. Her face shifts into something pained. "The reason why none of our other plans worked, is because Hubert spilled it all to Lady Rhea. He used my own words against me. Right now, he's in charge of a unit of Lady Rhea's knights. Likely the group that captured you." </p><p>I can't believe it. Hubert has been working with Rhea? This whole time? </p><p>I feel like my head is about to explode. I need to recap. </p><p>So Edelgard and Hubert have been trying to take over the monastery to make sure those experiments won't happen again. But Hubert turned his back on Edelgard meanwhile and started working with Rhea. But why? </p><p>"What does Hubert gain by working with Rhea?" </p><p>"Hubert was promised a huge amount of power in their schemes. Their goal was to rule over all humanity, or well, what's left of it now. Hubert is likely to obtain a piece of land, including his own humans to rule over. It's disgusting." </p><p>That is disgusting. After having been locked up for nearly a hundred years, the remaining people should finally be allowed to roam freely again. Not be held captive by yet another enemy. </p><p>But is this even another enemy? It's still good old Rhea that's the brains behind this all, isn't it? </p><p>So then, taking out Rhea is an absolute must. And if I don't have my own people here to do this with, I have no other choice but to work with Edelgard and what's left of her Eagles. </p><p>No matter, Linhardt turned out to be a great value to my team. And these guys actually seem motivated to do something, unlike that sleepy healer. </p><p>"Well then, what's the plan?" </p><p>A pleased look appears on Edelgard's face. "Here's what we'll do…" </p><p> </p><p>.~ Lysithea ~.</p><p>"On your right, Ingrid!" Byleth shouts, barely able to be heard over the chaos that's surrounding us. </p><p>Ingrid manages to duck under the swing of a sword, which allows Felix to counterattack. He practically jumps over Ingrid's crouched down body and smashes his sword into the knight's helmet. </p><p>Fresh blood now covers Felix' sword again, where there was only dried blood before. </p><p>Seems we've really become accustomed to killing people by now. It's awful. </p><p>I notice a knight trying to sneak in an attack on Ignatz, so I fire a Miasma at him. The purple magic surrounds the knight before it seeps into the armor, causing the knight to drop to the floor. It remains unmoving. </p><p>"T-that was close, thank you!" Ignatz looks embarrassed. </p><p>"Just stay a further distance away, your strength isn't great enough to pierce their armor!" </p><p>"Right!" He travels a bit further up ahead so he can go back to shooting arrows from a distance. </p><p>They obviously don't hurt, but they're certainly handy when it comes to distracting the knights. </p><p>"Linhardt, I need a heal over here!" Annette calls. </p><p>She's putting pressure on a leg wound on Dedue's calf. He doesn't seem too bothered by it himself, but I'm sure it's difficult to stand on a leg in that condition. </p><p>Linhardt weaves a healing spell over Dedue, closing the wound and allowing Annette to get back on her feet. She looks out for Dedue, since his attack speed isn't high enough to take on knight after knight.</p><p>"Marianne, over here!" Sylvain shouts. </p><p>Marianne rushes over, hands covered in a white glow. I now notice Dimitri sitting on his knees, covering the right side of his face with his hand. </p><p>That Solon really was a powerful mage, being able to cause an unhealing wound like Dimitri's. </p><p>I want to know what's going on with Dimitri, which actually causes me to let down my guard. </p><p>I notice the thumping sounds of a knight approaching me just a second too late. The swing of an axe is aiming for my head, but I manage to jump away. It barely grazes my shoulder, leaving me unable to counterattack. </p><p>Damn it! </p><p>I stumble and fall to the ground, scraping my hands and elbows on the stone floor. I almost hit my head as well. </p><p>The knight prepares to swing his axe down once more to end me, and just when he's about to, a green slash of Wind magic slashes right through the knight's armor. </p><p>With a loud slam, the knight falls to the ground, leaking blood all over the ground underneath its body. </p><p>Linhard wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead. "Must be awful, losing to me."</p><p>"T-thank you," I tell him as I scramble to get back upright. </p><p>He quickly averts his eyes from the bloody mess he just created. Instead, he looks me over for any injuries. </p><p>Even though my shoulder aches, my hands feel like they're on fire and my elbows are definitely bleeding, I'm fine. </p><p>"Don't waste a heal on me, I'm okay. Save your energy for those who really need it." </p><p>He nods and we both take a moment to catch our breaths and recover from the adrenaline rush. </p><p>"Wait a minute… You knew how to attack with magic? Since when?" </p><p>He looks at me surprised. "Why does that shock you? I've known Dark and Black magic this whole time, obviously." </p><p>"This whole time?! And this whole time, you've just been lazing around and letting the rest of us take on the dangerous jobs?!" </p><p>He blinks at me, before a small smile appears on his face. "Remember when Yuri said that healers shouldn't be on the frontlines?" </p><p>I groan loudly. This man cannot be for real. "You're impossible." </p><p>"Thank you, but I think you might be looking for the word 'improbable'." </p><p>I roll my eyes. "It wasn't a compliment."</p><p>He smiles at me and I can feel my cheeks burn up a little. Too bad our moment doesn't last for more than five seconds. </p><p>"Behind you," he warns. </p><p>I turn around to see a new group of knights coming down into Abyss. How many are there?! It's like there's just no end to them! </p><p>"Don't let them leave!" Yuri shouts loudly. "My people are going outside, we can't let any knights escape!" </p><p>A dark figure swooshes over our heads, flying over to the other entrance that leads to the outside. I can faintly make out the short, blonde curls that indicate it's Constance. </p><p>"Hahaha! You may leave this responsibility to me, Yuri! I'll catch up with them and end their fruitless attempts of capturing us!" She still yells from her position on a black pegasus. </p><p>She shoots numerous Fire spells at the knights who are sprinting towards the exit. They all start to burn up and fall to the ground, their screams dying along with themselves. </p><p>I close my eyes in an attempt to block out the view, but it's engraved into my memory. I'm honestly finding myself unable to get used to this violence. </p><p>Although, I'm sure the people of the underground have had lesser peaceful lives than us inside the monastery, so they've probably seen these things many times before.</p><p>A soft warmth suddenly engulfs my body, relieving the burning and sore feeling in my wounds. </p><p>I turn around to give Linhardt a glare. "Why'd you do that? I said-" </p><p>"I heard you, but you were bleeding. I don't like blood, ever, but I hate it especially when it's yours." </p><p>I try to tell him not to say something like that so casually, but all that comes out of my mouth is an incomprehensible sputtering. </p><p>He smirks slightly, which makes my cheeks color a deep pink. </p><p>Since I couldn't bring out any words, I just huff and walk off. How can he say something like that? Ugh, it's so… so sweet. </p><p>It actually makes my heart swell with affection, but there's no time for any of that now! </p><p>We need to hurry and make a path through these knights and get inside the monastery. </p><p>"Like that, Hilda! Keep it going!" Raphael encourages Hilda as she swings her axe around. </p><p>"Oof, you're making me work!" She accuses as she swings her axe into the chestplate of a knight. </p><p>He flies backwards and Raphael finishes the job with his own axe. They give each other a high-five before the move on to the next.  </p><p>Despite the circumstances, it's nice to see everyone working together so well. We've really come a long way since the day we decided we'd be the Golden Deer. </p><p>It's just really sad that not everyone is here right now. But that's exactly what we're fighting for. We cannot lose here! </p><p>"Lysithea, take out that small group of knights before they get too close." Byleth points them out with his sword.</p><p>"Right!" Linhardt didn't need to heal me at all, I could have just hit them with a Nosferatu. </p><p>Idiot. </p><p>Instead of the Nosferatu, I shoot Miasmas at the knights. This spell is pretty neat, since it tends to spread when the knights are standing too close to each other.</p><p>Within a minute, the four knights are down. </p><p>"Let's move closer. Dedue, Annette, Linhardt, Lysithea, with me!" Byleth orders as he heads closer to the entrance of the monastery. </p><p>Annette and Dedue follow him closely, but I wait until Linhardt has caught up. He's so slow. </p><p>When Dedue finishes off the last knight that was guarding the entrance, we surround it with our small group to prevent any knight from fleeing back into the monastery.</p><p>The actual entrance is pretty much just a dark staircase, leading to a space that's too dark for me to make anything out in. More knights might be on their way here right now, but I think we can take them. </p><p>We have Byleth, after all. </p><p>"Byleth, what are you planning?" Yuri asks right as he dodges a slash of a sword. </p><p>He really is quick, it's almost unbelievable. </p><p>"We'll create a way to get inside. You all follow when you have the chance to," Byleth answers. </p><p>Okay, so we're the front-guard now. I hope we can manage. </p><p>"Take-" Yuri dodges another attack. "Take Balthus with you. He's great at close-combat, but he can heal also." </p><p>Balthus? Do we know him?</p><p>A large man with black hair approaches us from the other side. Seems he's been busy with hiding away children from all the chaos. "Hey, fellas! Let's go get this show on the road, shall we?" </p><p>He reminds me of Raphael a little, with his bulky appearance and kind-looking eyes. I wonder if he is friendly like Raphael too. </p><p>"Thank you for helping, Balthus," Byleth tells him. </p><p>"No problem at all, bud! What do I call you?" </p><p>He certainly speaks at the same volume as Raphael.</p><p>"I'm Byleth. Let's go inside now that we can." He takes a couple of steps forward and looks up the stairs with a concentrated look.</p><p>"I don't hear any knights," Linhardt informs. "It's probably clear." </p><p>Byleth nods. "You're right, there aren't any knights. Let's still proceed with caution." </p><p>I wonder what he means. I've figured out by now that this man tends to think a lot more than he talks. Maybe there aren't knights, but there might be something else. </p><p>We'll just proceed with caution then.</p><p>Byleth takes the lead into the staircase, followed by Balthus and Annette. </p><p>"This is pretty exciting!" She exclaims. </p><p>"Please, be quiet, Annette," Byleth instructs with his usual soft voice. </p><p>"Right, sorry!" </p><p>Dedue looks at Linhardt and me expectantly. We both return his look, which causes him to sigh briefly.</p><p>"I will cover your backs. Please, proceed." </p><p>Ah, what a gentleman. Linhardt has much to learn. </p><p>And before mentioned man proves my point perfectly by going on ahead before myself. I roll my eyes, but still follow without saying anything. </p><p>Seems he's much more worried about our backs, since Byleth is up front. But as we walk up the stairs, I'm a little glad he went up before me. </p><p>A low rumbling growl sounds through the dark hallway, freezing us all in our steps. </p><p>Whatever is up there, waiting for us, I don't even want to know. All I do know is that it'll be up to us to take it down, and it most certainly will not be easy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR SKIPPING LAST WEEK </p><p>I just really didn't have motivation or inspiration to write, so I figured it'd be better to wait a week rather than write a bad and lousy chapter </p><p>I am so straying from my original ideas, which happened a few times before, but at this point I honestly have no idea what I'm writing anymore hahahah i'm just hoping y'all can still follow and understand exactly what's going on </p><p>Either way, thank you for your patience if you're still here :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Uhm, is anyone hungry or something? I think I hear a stomach, haha…" Annette whispers nervously. </p><p>"Oh, no. This is already going to be a disaster," Linhardt says. "We should go back. Byleth, do you hear me? I demand we turn back." </p><p>"Be quiet, both of you," Byleth's calm voice answers.</p><p>I don't understand how professor Byleth's always so calm. It's like he just doesn't know fear. Speaking of fear, I'm feeling it. The sound we heard was definitely not a stomach. I don't know what it possibly could be, though. The sound is completely unfamiliar to me.</p><p>"Makes sense." And Linhardt still won't keep his mouth shut. "But you didn't answer my question." </p><p>"Sorry," Byleth responds once more. "Yes, I heard you." </p><p>We all patiently wait a beat for possibly some more words, but that was all there was to his answer. </p><p>I struggle with stifling my laugh, which now escapes in short huffs through my nose. I bet Linhardt doesn't find it as funny as myself.</p><p>Even in the darkness of the staircase, I can see mentioned man's figure gesturing something to me. </p><p>Is he seriously asking me to turn around? </p><p>"Dedue is literally behind me, Linhardt. I can't turn back. Just keep walking," I tell him with a quiet voice. </p><p>I tried to make sure Byleth doesn't hear me, but his sense of hearing appears to be inhumanly good.</p><p>"Linhardt, stop being difficult. We'll be fine as long as we're careful. Let's keep walking, I think we're close." </p><p>There's an absolute tone to Byleth's words that I doubt even Linhardt would try to oppose. Instead, he sighs loudly. </p><p>Maybe it's the nerves I'm feeling, but I can't help but laugh again. If I just keep focusing on Linhardt being ridiculous, my feeling of fear seems to fade to the background of my thoughts. </p><p>"Dedue, would you mind letting Lysithea and myself pass? I'm too young to die here." </p><p>"Why are you so scared? Aren't you a man?" I think that's Balthus' loud voice booming through the space. </p><p>"Yeah, Linhardt," Annette adds. "Protect your girl!"</p><p>Linhardt sighs loudly once more and I can feel heat rising to my cheeks. Did she see Linhardt sleeping on my lap before..? Oh my god, that's so embarrassing! </p><p>"My apologies," Dedue answers. "But I don't believe the stairs are large enough for that." </p><p>"Please, remain quiet. I will not ask again." </p><p>Honestly, I feel bad for professor Byleth. This whole time he's been forced to deal with random people in literally an era unknown to him, fixing problems that we created to the best of his own abilities. </p><p>"Oops, sorry! I kinda let myself go there," Annette giggles. </p><p>"You can't actually force us to come with you. And besides, someone like Felix or perhaps Raphael would be a much better choi-" </p><p>Linhardt's sentence gets abruptly cut off by another, this time louder, rumbling noise. </p><p>"Oh no, my knees are getting all wobbly," Annette complains. </p><p>Same here, but I'm not going to admit that out loud. </p><p>"I can see the enemy," Byleth announces. "Get ready, we're attacking first." </p><p>Attacking?! </p><p>"W-wait! Hold up, can't we sneak by? Or something else?" I'm getting so scared right now, this isn't even funny! </p><p>"No, we'll launch a surprise attack. It doesn't seem to have noticed us yet, so we'll use that to our advantage. Follow after me." </p><p>It..? It hasn't noticed us? What's 'it'? A cold shiver runs down my spine. </p><p>"Let's go back, this seems like much more trouble than it's worth," Linhardt whispers to me as he tries to push me back. </p><p>I have to grab onto his arm in order not to stumble backwards and fall down the stairs. </p><p>"Linhardt, stop pushing me! I'll fall!" I can now feel Dedue's large hand supporting my back, preventing Linhardt from pushing me down the steps. </p><p>This idiot! Talk about careless.</p><p>A door has opened at the top of the stairs, allowing a beam of light to enter the dark staircase. I can finally see something again, and the first thing I actually lay my eyes on, is Linhardt's unamused face. </p><p>"This is too much of a hassle for me. I'm leaving." He tries to press his own body past mine to head back down, but before he can, professor Byleth's sword wraps itself around his middle and drags him to the top of the stairs. </p><p>Serves him right, that lazy bum.</p><p>The professor is standing at the top, hued in the bright light that came along with opening the door. Next to him is Annette, but I can't see Balthus anywhere. </p><p>At least now that Linhardt's out of my way, Dedue and I can finally emerge from the staircase as well. </p><p>The stairs lead us to the courtyard near a couple of dorms. And also to a huge animal that looks as if it's guarding the passage. </p><p>Is it even an animal? I've never seen anything like it before. It's four-legged, huge, black, and terrifying. A red stone looks to be engraved into its head, along with some sort of mask, covering its face. I'm sure I don't even want to see what's underneath that mask. It growls lowly, but sometimes a higher pitched sound makes it out of its throat. </p><p>"That's a demonic beast," professor Byleth explains. "They're really tough, so we have to take it down with combined attacks." </p><p>My heart is beating incredibly fast. Not just from the adrenaline of having to fight this huge disgusting thing, but also the fact that we made it back inside the monastery. After everything that happened to us, the end is finally near. We'll fix this and make sure nothing like this will happen again.</p><p>This mess cannot continue any longer! </p><p>"Lysithea and Annette, weaken it with a Seraphim. Try to stay out of its range while you attack. That's bound to draw its attention, so Dedue, I need you to deflect its physical attack. This one can also spit fire, so keep your distance when you see its mouth open." </p><p>"Oh, lord. Of course it spits fire," Linhardt comments from behind us somewhere. </p><p>I'm surprised he hasn't fled yet, but he probably knows we'll need him while fighting this monster. Good boy. </p><p>"Understood, professor," Dedue answers politely. </p><p>I wonder if Dedue ever feels pressure from these difficult jobs he keeps receiving. It seems as if he's mostly used to protect allies, which requires an enormous sense of responsibility. Nevertheless, I do trust this man with my life. He's great at what he does. </p><p>"What we should aim for is to take it down before it spits fire," professor Byleth further instructs. "For some reason, that seems to strengthen its defenses, so let's be quick. Balthus, Yuri said you're a strong fighter, but what can you do?" </p><p>"Ah, finally! I thought you'd forgotten about me, professor. I am Balthus, the king of grappling! I can wrestle this thing down by myself if I have to!" He kisses the biceps on his right arm, showing off his huge muscles. </p><p>Professor Byleth just gives a short nod before he returns his attention to the demonic beast. "Alright. Then I want you to attack it every single time you see an opening." </p><p>"Sure thing!" </p><p>"I hope Felix or Raphael would come up these stairs soon," Linhardt says with a sigh. "Or Marianne, then I could sit out." </p><p>I roll my eyes at his nagging. He can really be so annoying sometimes. I just hope no more knights are going to appear. We really can't have that right now. Speaking of…</p><p>"Professor, what will we do if there are more knights coming this way?" </p><p>"We take them down!" Balthus answers instead. </p><p>"I asked the professor." I really don't have the patience or mood to deal with this fight-enthusiast. </p><p>Why do people even enjoy fighting so much? I doubt I'll ever understand. I get my thrills from reading and learning, not hurting other people or living things. </p><p>"We take them down," professor Byleth copies. </p><p>Ugh, seriously. </p><p>"Yeah! That's what I like to hear! We good to go?" </p><p>Professor Byleth nods at Balthus once more before he gestures for us all to take our positions. </p><p>Annette and I stay in the back with Linhardt, as far away from the humongous beast as we're allowed. </p><p>"Lysithea," Annette whispers to me. "Are you as scared as I am? My knees are shaking!" </p><p>"No, I'm completely fine. Just make sure you hit it with the spell. The rest of us can handle what's left." </p><p>Completely fine, my ass. My hands are shaky and my heart feels like it's beating out of my chest, but she doesn't need to know that. </p><p>Even still, Annette seems to believe my lie. She nods at me and quietly says something to herself, likely encouragements. </p><p>Well, at least I helped her. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself a little as well. </p><p>This is it. We have to weaken this beast so that the others can take it down for good. </p><p>"Who of us will attack first?" Annette turns back towards me with new-found resolve.</p><p>"I'll go first, since I can recover faster than you. Just in case we don't break its defenses with two attacks." </p><p>And also because I'm scared I might miss. Seraphim is a pretty small-sized spell, and we're standing pretty far away from the beast. If I miss the first time, I'll make sure to hit it the second.</p><p>Dedue and Balthus are standing close to it, while professor Byleth is standing inbetween them and our trio. He has his sword ready to attack or deflect. </p><p>I guess if there are any knights coming our way, they'll be for the three of us to take down. At least until our other allies have made their way up. </p><p>Once more, I take a deep breath as I focus magic power into the palm of my hand. Seraphim is one of the stronger spells I've learned, so it'll cost me a bit more magic power and energy than a regular Fire or Miasma. </p><p>Professor Byleth turns around and nods at me, indicating it's time to attack. Once I hit that monster, the others will be in danger, so I have to hit it as hard as possible. Hopefully I can give the others some time to follow up with an attack before the beast recovers.</p><p>I aim shortly at the beast's left shoulder, so hopefully it'll have trouble staying upright when it hits. My Seraphim flies over the heads of my allies, right against the left flank of the demonic beast. </p><p>It screams out in pain before it turns around to face us. It seems like it really didn't notice us before, because it only starts to show aggression now. </p><p>"Annette!" Byleth shouts.</p><p>"Get ...lost!" Annette yells at the beast as she launches her spell at it. </p><p>It hits its mask, actually making a crack in it. I didn't even know Annette had such strength, her growth is amazing. Perhaps I ought to stop looking down on her.</p><p>Right when the beast seems to recover from the impact, professor Byleth swings his sword around, slashing into its mask right where Annette hit it earlier. </p><p>The mask crumbles apart, revealing the beast's horrendous face. It has a lot of extremely sharp teeth that stick out of its large, screaming mouth. </p><p>"Get away!" Professor Byleth yells at Dedue and Balthus, but it's too late for both of them.</p><p>The beast fires off multiple balls of fire into the air, which land all over the space around itself, setting even the area on fire. Even professor Byleth couldn't dodge in time, resulting in his arm catching fire. </p><p>Linhardt's timing is perfect, a wave of white magic engulfing all of us. The fire on Byleth's, Dedue's and Balthus' bodies gets put out and their wounds are as good as healed. </p><p>Annette and I didn't need any heal, but it makes me feel as if I restored some of my magic power. </p><p>I prepare another Seraphim to weaken the beast further, but it looks to be back in full defenses. Just what professor Byleth warned us for. </p><p>Ugh, this might actually be really troublesome. Nevertheless, I fire it at the beast again. It screams out loudly once more and I only now start to worry about what will happen if any of the monastery's inhabitants hear it. </p><p>Are they safe? Were they lured away before this monster was put here? God, I hope so. No one should head over here while this beast is present. I look around to see if there are any people around that may have come to see what the commotion is about.</p><p>"Lysithea, look out!" Annette's voice interrupts my actions.</p><p>I turn my focus back on the battle that's still going on, which allows me to see a huge boulder flying right towards me. </p><p>Oh no..! </p><p>I make an effort to jump away, but it obviously wasn't far enough. That boulder will crush me if it lands on top of me! </p><p>An impact to my side sends me flying a further distance away and I collide with the ground, hard. </p><p>"Oof," is all I manage to bring out at first. I'm struggling to wrap my head around exactly what just happened.</p><p>Both my sides hurt, but thankfully I'm not crushed by the boulder. I am getting crushed by something else, though. Or rather, someone.</p><p>"Ugh, Linhardt, you're heavy." </p><p>Linhardt doesn't reply. In fact, he doesn't even move at all. </p><p>"Linhardt?" I try to get up, but his body lying on top of mine is making that very difficult. </p><p>Why does he have to be so tall? It doesn't even make sense. He's less than a year older than myself. </p><p>"Linhardt, please, you're really heavy." I try to push him off, which goes way too easily for my liking. He doesn't resist at all, and his body is completely limp. </p><p>When I finally manage to sit up, I can see where the boulder made its landing. It's right on top of Linhardt's legs, which means that Linhardt literally tried to sacrifice himself to push me out of harm's way. </p><p>No… no way… </p><p>"You idiot!" I shove the rest of his unconscious body off my own to stand up. </p><p>My feet are covered in blood. Linhardt's blood. </p><p>Oh my god, no. No way. His legs might be crushed. I have to move that boulder. I need to move it away and heal his legs. </p><p>I hurry over to the boulder, which is almost taller than myself, and start pushing. </p><p>It doesn't even budge, despite my efforts. </p><p>"Lysithea? What happened?" Annette's voice sounds from up ahead. </p><p>Looks like professor Byleth moved her after that boulder was thrown. </p><p>"Linhardt… He-" A choked sob comes out of my mouth. "His legs are…" </p><p>This is my fault. Why didn't I see that boulder coming at me myself? I'm so stupid, thinking about irrelevant things at a critical moment like this battle! </p><p>Instead of explaining to Annette any further, I try to push the boulder once more. It still doesn't budge under the efforts of my trembling arms. </p><p>Good thing Annette seems to have understood what I was trying to say. "Professor, emergency! Healer's out!" She calls out. </p><p>"Dedue, Balthus, keep up the attacks! Be wary of the fireballs, I'll go see what's going on," professor Byleth informs them. </p><p>"Of course, leave it to us!" </p><p>"Understood. Don't worry about us." </p><p>I glance over at Linhardt's body, lying half under the boulder. Maybe I should be glad only his legs are hurt. It could have been worse, right? He could have died, so his legs are only a small price to pay. </p><p>And besides, he hates walking, so… </p><p>Who am I kidding? This isn't fine at all! He was scared, he should have been able to turn back! He shouldn't have had to make this sacrifice for me. We could have just waited until the others were finished in Abyss and take down this monster with everyone, yet… </p><p>"Lysithea, step away for a second. Let me get this rock out of the way." </p><p>A hand on my shoulder guides me away from the boulder. Instead, I sit down next to Linhardt's upper body. </p><p>Tears run over my cheeks, which I wipe away with my sleeve. "I'm sorry that you always have to watch my reckless back. I'm such a child, not being able to do anything on my own. Even now…" </p><p>I stroke a strand of hair out of his face. He doesn't look to be in any pain, but I'm sure that will change once he regains consciousness. </p><p>Professor Byleth whips out his sword and uses it to destroy the boulder on top of Linhardt's legs. The pieces that are left, he picks up and throws them a distance away. </p><p>The sight it leaves is not a pretty one. Both Linhardt's legs are completely covered in blood. </p><p>"W-will he be able to walk..?" It's a stupid question, even I know that. </p><p>He can't walk anymore with those legs, if he can even move them. </p><p>After a moment of silence, the professor shakes his head. "If he'll be able to ever walk again, it won't be soon. He might need more than just a few years of revalidation. The most we could do now is try to heal the wounds to relieve any physical pain. Can I leave that to you?" </p><p>I nod. "Of course. This is my own fault after all." </p><p>I wave a healing spell over Linhardt's bloodied legs. I can't really see how much effect it has, but I'm going to heal until I'm all out of magic power. </p><p>With gentle hands, I lay his head in my lap again to make him a bit more comfortable, despite that he's unconscious. </p><p>I wonder how he'll react once he wakes up again. Will he hold me responsible? What if he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? </p><p>What if I don't want anything to do with him anymore, now that he likely won't be able to walk again? </p><p>Am I really that pathetic, that immature? To abandon him when he's going through something like this? I hope not. </p><p>Now that I think about it, he never abandoned me either, back then. </p><p>If I am a person like that, I could never be with Linhardt. I wouldn't deserve him. </p><p>So I won't. I won't abandon him. I'll support him however I can, through these hardships, until he's better. I owe him. </p><p>I cast another healing spell over his legs. If my eyes can see, his legs seem to have taken on their regular shape somewhat. The shape of a leg, I mean. Not the flat, crushed limbs they were a few minutes ago. </p><p>My energy is leaving my body quickly with every spell I cast. I'm sweating and panting, but I'm not giving up yet. Linhardt needs me, so I'll be here for him. </p><p>When dark spots start appearing in my vision more frequently, I take a break to recover a little. </p><p>I move my hands through Linhardt's soft hair again and stroke it gently. It calms me somewhat.</p><p>The battle with the demonic beast still isn't over with either. Professor Byleth has taken on the job of healing, frantically running across the battlefield to heal everyone who gets hurt. </p><p>Annette and Dedue have switched positions; Annette is now fighting the beast at a closer range, while Dedue is standing near Linhardt and me to try and protect us. </p><p>And Balthus is covering the frontline on his own, trying to break through the tough defenses of the demonic beast's sturdy body. He punches and kicks it with all he's got, occasionally causing the beast to scream and fall down. </p><p>Grapplers really are kind of scary. </p><p>The demonic beast lashes out with one of its arms, sending Balthus to the ground. It lifts both its arms in an attempt to get rid of him. But before it can stomp on Balthus' body and crush him, Annette casts a Wind spell, causing the beast to lose its balance and fall backwards with a loud smack.</p><p>Professor Byleth rushes over to Balthus to help him back up and heal the gashes the beast's claws inflicted on him. </p><p>"That looks quite troublesome," a low voice behind me says. "I thought I got rid of that one sooner." </p><p>I don't recognize that voice. With a quick movement, I turn my head and look behind me. </p><p>I really don't like what I'm seeing though.</p><p>I grit my teeth in a furious anger. "I'm warning you only once. Don't you dare come any closer, you piece of filth. Or you will regret it." </p><p> </p><p>~. Claude .~</p><p> </p><p>"So, here's what we'll do," Edelgard tells me. "Right now, I can't move around the monastery. If I'm caught by either Rhea or Hubert, it's extremely likely they'll use me to get rid of all of you by using the power they put inside of me. But you, Claude, you are free to move around, but you have to make sure to keep up the act of not knowing what's going on. You need to keep pretending, or else they'll find out that you and I met. We have to avoid that at all costs." </p><p>She pauses for a moment to allow her words to sink in. So basically, I just have to act as if I'm depressed. No biggie, I can do that. </p><p>But if that's all I can do, we'll just be stuck in this situation forever. </p><p>"Don't you have a plan to get to Rhea?" </p><p>"I don't know if you can call it so much as a plan, but you are allowed to use my Eagles for any purpose you see fit. I've been using them to run around the monastery and gather information, but it's hard to act discreetly from my position. If you need them for anything, just ask them, and they'll help you." </p><p>Okay, so I'm pretty much left to my own devices. I'm guessing her Eagles will still pass on everything to Edelgard herself, so I can't use them for anything sneaky.</p><p>Good thing they're all honor students, so at least no one in the monastery will suspect them easily. </p><p>But Rhea knows they're with Edelgard, doesn't she? So why would she allow the Eagles to walk around, but not Edelgard herself? Is this part of a plan? </p><p>It seems a bit too convenient for Edelgard. Does she have something up her sleeve herself? Or are they working together after all? </p><p>Her story seems perfectly accurate, but it just doesn't add up to what's going on here.</p><p>Maybe I could get one of her Eagles to spill the beans and work together with me instead. But which one of them would side with me, instead of Edelgard? Especially since they've been on her side this whole time. </p><p>Maybe Hubert himself? </p><p>Ugh, no way. He tried to kill Linhardt, I'm not going to work with him. And he already works with Rhea. Whether he really betrayed Edelgard or not, he's at least pretending to be on Rhea's side. So unless I could take both Hubert and Rhea at the same time, I'd best stay away from them. </p><p>So that means I really need to work with Edelgard's Eagles. </p><p>Let's see now… Dorothea seems reliable, but I'm not sure if I could rely on her. She's probably loyal to 'Edie', so there's no way she'd turn her back on Edelgard and work with me instead. </p><p>Then there's Caspar. I'm not sure how much I could trust him, since he's too unpredictable for me. I don't know him well, and Edelgard already said he's reckless and a troublemaker. I don't need that when I'm trying to be sneaky.</p><p>Petra might be useful to me. If only I knew just how good her understanding of language is. She might not even understand half of what's being said, how would I ever convince her of joining my side? Maybe A few conversations with her could clear that up.</p><p>And Ferdinand… He seems to be the righteous kind of guy, which makes him a perfect ally for Edelgard to reach her goals. But if I told him about everything we found out outside, as well as my doubts of Edelgard, would he still be so eager to aid her?</p><p>In the end, her and my goals don't seem to be that different. We both want to get rid of Rhea, obviously. I just need to know if I can really trust Edelgard.</p><p>Oh, wait, there's Bernadetta as well. Her presence is so little, I keep forgetting she's still trembling in the corner. Could I actually use her though? I doubt it. She seems like she'd rather stay locked up inside of her room all day than anything.</p><p>So I'll try my chances with Ferdinand. He's loud and takes his responsibilities a bit too seriously, but I've worked with someone like that before. Cough, Lorenz, cough. But in the end, I earned even that guy's trust. </p><p>Now that I think about it... Would Edelgard know where Lorenz and Leonie were taken? Or should I keep that to myself for now and look for them on my own? </p><p>I don't want to put them in even more unnecessary danger, so I won't tell Edelgard just yet. </p><p>She might want to get rid of my allies, after all. </p><p>"Is it to your liking?" Edelgard asks with an amused smirk. </p><p>She's totally aware of what kind of person I am. But that's fine. I'm not trying to work against her here. I just want to know if I can trust her enough to help her reach her goals. </p><p>"Yeah, I think I could work with them. I'll just need some time to think of a plan. Since it's Rhea we're after, I can't afford to be too careless." </p><p>She nods. "Yes, you're right about that. If you want, we could try to form a plan together," she offers. "I know you're smart, but I might have more information about the situation." </p><p>I stay quiet, but not for too long. Just long enough to let her believe I actually considered the idea. </p><p>"Hmm, well… I don't think I'll be able to think of something right away. I'll see what the situation is in the monastery first. If I think of something, I'll come back to you." </p><p>Ha, I'm such a genius. I can do whatever I want now, since I have her Eagles. And as long as I don't see a reason to come back to Edelgard, I won't have to see her. She can't come out of her hiding spot anyway. </p><p>If I think of a plan, she's the last person I'll inform about it. I'm honestly not even sure why, but I just feel like I shouldn't rely on her too much. If I can do this with just her Eagles, that would make me much more comfortable.</p><p>But it's hard, playing a game of chess with pieces of only one color. </p><p>Her eyebrow twitches in displeasure, but she recovers quickly. Too quickly, if anything. "Very well. I hope to see you again soon." </p><p>I get up and stretch my arms to appear nonchalant. "You will. Hey, Ferdinand, got a moment?" </p><p>Ferdinand looks up at me from his seat before he stands up. "Of course! Edelgard and everyone, please excuse me for a moment." </p><p>I walk out of the hiding spot, followed by Ferdinand. Before I leave completely, however, I stick around to hear anything they have to say. I let Ferdinand walk out in front of me.</p><p>"Keep an eye on him, I can't have him ruin our plans," Edelgard tells the others. </p><p>I knew it. Very well then, now Ferdinand is my only choice, since he didn't receive that order. </p><p>"What is it you need?" Said man asks. </p><p>"Let's go for a walk, shall we?" I take the lead and head outside. </p><p>"Sure thing!"</p><p>Again, Ferdinand follows me immediately, which I'm glad about. That means he didn't think to pass on any message to Edelgard before he came after me. </p><p>Does he take his orders so literally? Edelgard tells him he has to listen to me, so that's exactly what he does? Surely he has some sort of own opinion on matters. Although, I'm sure he's okay with doing anything as long as it's for a good cause. </p><p>Perfect. </p><p>"So, Ferdinand," I start. </p><p>"Yes, Claude?" </p><p>Okay, he's the kind of person who always answers. That's fine. I bet he also needs to have the last word in an argument. </p><p>"You've been working with Edelgard for quite a while now, right? Have you ever noticed anything… off? About her." </p><p>"Hmm," he says as he considers his answer. "Well, no. I haven't. I did notice she snuck off with Hubert quite often, but I believe there is another reason for that, rather than them planning some sort of wickedness." </p><p>"A different reason? Like what?" </p><p>"You mean you didn't notice? Have you never seen the way Hubert looks at Edelgard? That's a look of pure love, let me tell you." </p><p>A look of pure love? From Hubert to Edelgard? Now that's funny.</p><p>"Then, why would Hubert betray her?" It doesn't make much sense, but I'm curious to see what his answer is.</p><p>"I don't have any proof to back me up here besides my own intelligent wits, but I believe it might be because Edelgard has rejected him in the end. She did have something going on with Dimitri, after all." </p><p>Could this really be true? That Hubert betrayed Edelgard because she broke his heart? If he has one, that is.</p><p>"This happened after you returned to the monastery, right?" </p><p>"Yes, that is correct. While we were outside, Hubert still did everything for Edelgard. He even went as far as to attack Linhardt behind her back. The poor guy. But since we returned, things completely changed between them." </p><p>Wait, hold up. </p><p>"Didn't Edelgard order Hubert to kill Linhardt?" </p><p>He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "No, I don't believe so. Hubert saw Linhardt as problematic and well, to put it simple, a complete waste of space. So, I think he decided to get rid of him before he could drag down Edelgard. Not like he could though, Linhardt couldn't even return with us." </p><p>His cheerful and proud posture changed from the moment he mentioned Linhardt's name. Should I tell him Linhardt didn't die? It would be good to win him over if I word it properly. </p><p>"Actually, about Linhardt-" </p><p>"Yes? What about him?" </p><p>I'm going to need some time to get used to his quick mouth. </p><p>"We found him, after Hubert attacked him. He had tried to keep himself alive, hoping for someone to find and save him-" </p><p>"Really? He must have suffered badly. Honestly, I didn't even know Hubert had attacked him until he caught up with the rest of us, saying he 'cleared out the trash'." </p><p>"-but we managed to heal him after we found him. He's okay now, thanks to us." Man, didn't even let me finish. Talk about chatty.</p><p>His eyes turn huge at that as he turns to face me. "Do you mean that? Did you actually save Linhardt? Where is he? I must go and tell the others! Caspar has been so worried about him." </p><p>Before he can turn around and head back to Edelgard, I grab his arm to stop him. "How about we don't tell Edelgard yet." </p><p>His eyebrows furrow once more. "But why not? Caspar and Linhardt were great friends!" </p><p>"Don't get me wrong, you can tell Caspar. Just keep it from Edelgard for now. Just in case she did order Hubert. I don't want Linhardt to become a target again, he's become a good friend of mine too." </p><p>Impossible to resist, especially to a guy like Ferdinand. I got this guy in the palm of my hand. </p><p>He lifts a finger to his chin. "Hm, I suppose you have a point. It happened during the time when Edelgard and Hubert were still on good terms as well. Hold on, are you saying that Edelgard might be a bad person?!" </p><p>Am I saying that? I honestly don't know. I don't trust that she didn't warn Lysithea for the infected, and I don't understand why Hubert betrayed Edelgard. </p><p>But for the sake of winning over Ferdinand's good and pure heart, "no, I don't think she's a bad person. But let's still be careful." </p><p>He nods in agreement. "Yes, let's. Personally, I would like to question Hubert. But I'm guessing there isn't really a way for us to talk to him, is there?" </p><p>I shake my head. "No, it's too dangerous. He probably wouldn't give us any answers anyway. What I'd like to do, is find two of my friends who were taken back here by the knights as well. Do you know Leonie or Lorenz, by chance?" </p><p>"Yes, I know Lorenz! We had tea together quite often. An amazing man, I've got to say. Very responsible, and also insightful in a lot of different-" </p><p>"Well, he's missing. So wanna help me find him?" Of course he knows Lorenz. I think I might have jinxed it before.</p><p>"Absolutely! Should we ask around? Someone might have seen him and your other friend somewhere." </p><p>Ask around? It would probably help things move along faster, but it's also extremely risky. I don't know what Rhea ordered her knights, and they might actually be hiding amongst the normal inhabitants. </p><p>"Not yet. Let's just see how far we can get with just the two of us. So no other Eagles either. And also, as hard as it may be for you, please keep a low profile." </p><p>Lorenz and Leonie might not be too important to Rhea or Edelgard, so even if Ferdinand slips up, the consequences won't be too severe. But this will allow me to see just how much I can trust Ferdinand. </p><p>"You seem to be extremely wary of our group. Is it because Linhardt said something about us? Because we're hardly the untrustworthy people you consider us to be, I'll have you know." </p><p>Okay, he's a bit sharper than I originally thought. But that's a good thing. At least he doesn't straight up believe and do anything someone tells him.</p><p>"It's not that, it's just…" Shit, what do I even tell him? Uhm… Ah, right! "This is really hard for me to talk about, but… I was betrayed by a large group of my own friends. It was terribly traumatic, even now I'm not sure if I can still trust them. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to put my faith in you now? But you just seem like the kind of person who only does the right thing, so I was hoping you could help me. You're the only one I have right now, Ferdinand." </p><p>He pauses for a moment before he actually takes hold of both my hands and looks me straight in the eyes. "Don't you worry, Claude! I have your back. You can trust and rely on me!" </p><p>It's almost funny how easy it is to play this guy. It's really a good thing I only have good intentions with everyone I manipulate. Imagine if I was the bad guy here. I'd be the best and most evil, unstoppable boss ever. </p><p>"Thank you, so much. You're really a good person, Ferdinand. I don't know how I could repay you for your kindness." </p><p>He shakes his head as he squeezes my fingers. "Don't even start about that. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, knowing I let you down when you needed me this badly. Now, let's go and search for Lorenz and the other one." </p><p>"Leonie," I correct him. </p><p>"Lorenz and Leonie," he corrects himself. </p><p>I try to hide my laugh. I feel like Ferdinand would fit in with my other friends perfectly. Well, since I'm hoarding allies anyway, why not? I doubt he'd mind it so much. </p><p>He lets go of my hands and we resume our walk. I'm about to make a turn, when Ferdinand stops me. </p><p>"Ah, Claude, we shouldn't go that way. Seteth has warned us that a part of the building on that side is under construction. It could be dangerous, since parts of the wall might crumble and hit you as they fall. Let's go through the building on the other side." </p><p>He leads me away from the area that's under construction, but a strange sound catches my attention. I pause my walk to strain my hearing a bit more, and I swear I can hear a screaming of some sort. </p><p>Did someone go there after all? They might have gotten themselves hurt. </p><p>Then Ferdinand turns around. "Claude? I have an idea of where they might be keeping Loren- Uhm! I mean my missing tea rendez-vous date man person! Let's go find out if I'm right!" </p><p>I look back towards the restricted area. Whoever decided to take the risk and walk there is probably responsible for themselves. My mission for now is to look for Lorenz and Leonie. If I get more of my allies back, I'm sure it will be easier for myself to get something done around here.</p><p>Without hesitating, I hurry to catch up with Ferdinand, who is very eager to hear my opinion on his theory of where my friends might be. </p><p>Best to stay away from the restricted area for now, lest we want to draw negative attention from someone like Seteth.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey so lmk what you think of this chapter if you have the time! I love to read your opinions and thoughts, it's the best motivator out there!  </p><p>Thank you for reading &lt;3</p><p>(Small update; i realized I made a mistake bc claude never knew L&amp;L got captured and taken back to the monastery, so I changed Ch.3 a tad so it adds up. My apologies for the inconvenience, I'm still noob) (terrible excuse, but i hope you forgive me nevertheless)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Helloooooo here is another chapter pls enjoy :))) </p><p>ALSO I want to (once more) thank my dear reader and commenter cordeliasept for the super awesome lovely gift to me! &lt;3 thank you so much! </p><p>If anyone is interested, it's named Power Bill written by cordeliasept </p><p>(Idk how to make links so I hope that suffices) </p><p>So check that out! It's great :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>.~ Lysithea ~.</p><p>"I'm warning you only once. Don't come any closer, you piece of filth. Or you will regret it." </p><p>I can't believe this guy decided to show up. Just now when we're already in a pinch too..! </p><p>"My, how hostile. You'd best behave, or things may not end well for all of you." </p><p>"Get lost, Hubert! You rat! How dare you show your face here?!" I feel like my blood is about to start boiling from anger. </p><p>"How dare I show my face? What about the lot of you? Making your way back inside the monastery, where you obviously weren't wanted. How dare you?" He counters. </p><p>I grit my teeth. This can't be real. Do I seriously have to face off against this idiot by myself? I'll never win, especially in the condition I'm currently finding myself in. </p><p>Maybe I should have thought it through a bit more before I used up most of my magic power on healing Linhardt's legs. </p><p>But there's no going back from that anymore now. I may not be able to win from Hubert and his knights, but I could surely buy some time for the Abyss crew to make it up here.</p><p>I glance over to the battle that's still going on with the demonic beast. Hopefully they'll be finishing up soon as well. </p><p>But for now, Hubert is my target. And I'll make sure he'll regret exactly what he did to Linhardt.</p><p>I move Linhardt's head off my lap gently and lay him on the ground. One more stroke through his hair before I stand up. </p><p>I'm feeling oddly calm all of a sudden. Despite the huge pressure that lays on my shoulders right now, I'm strangely confident that I'll succeed in holding off Hubert. There's no doubt that he's strong, but so am I. </p><p>I'm strong, much stronger than this vampiric slave of Edelgard. This, this… this bootlicker. </p><p>I'm way above him and he's about to find out. </p><p>"Children should stay away from the battlefield, Lysithea. Why don't you just leave and go see your parents? I'm certain that they've been incredibly worried about you. If you leave now, I'll even let you go," Hubert tempts with a disgustingly foul smirk. </p><p>"Nice try, idiot. I would never turn my back on my allies again. I did it once before, and I'm still regretting it, even now. Perhaps it'd be a better idea for you to turn tails and flee, because I was serious before." </p><p>A great deal of magic power seems to appear in my body, coming out of nowhere. It even makes my hair float a bit, the way it's hanging heavily in the air around my body. I feel so powerful right now. Is it because he hurt Linhardt before? Or because he's threatening him with his presence? </p><p>Whatever it is, I'm liking it. </p><p>"You will regret this," I repeat. </p><p>A bead of sweat trails down Hubert's temple as he takes a tiny step back from me. </p><p>I take a quick look at the knights he brought. There aren't that many, but enough to give me trouble if I don't do anything about them. </p><p>But I'm not after the knights here. Hubert is my main target. It'd be a waste of energy to deal with those knights, so I'll finish Hubert off quickly. Those knights won't have anyone ordering them around if he's gone anyway. </p><p>"Take her down. Immediately!" Hubert orders his knights, before I can think of a proper plan of action. </p><p>Two armored units leave their formation to rush over to me, axe prepared to slash right into me. </p><p>I'm not having any of that though. I'm taking down Hubert here, no matter what.</p><p>"You're irrelevant!" I shout at the two knights as I fire a single Miasma at the one on the left. </p><p>Like before, the Miasma spreads to the knight on the right as well, knocking them both down. Something was off about the spell though. As if it wasn't my own power that came through, but something else. </p><p>Seriously though, how stupid of them to attack while moving so close together. </p><p>Hubert's face shifts into something annoyed. He starts to order something again, but his voice is too quiet for me to hear it. I think it's safe to assume more knights will try and come at me, so I'll just put a stop to that. </p><p>I collect a good amount of magic power into the palms of both of my hands. I'm going to try a Hades, which is bound to take out Hubert in one go if I can hit. </p><p>But even if I can't, I'll at least take down some of his knights. Hopefully the ones he's trying to order around right now. </p><p>"Don't you-" Hubert starts quickly when he sees what I'm planning on doing. I lower my arms to give him some space to collect himself again. </p><p>I was about to strike him before he started talking. He's still lucky for now.  </p><p>"Don't you want to get help for Linhardt? His legs don't look too good right there," he explains. </p><p>Another drop of sweat runs down his forehead, disappearing into his brow. </p><p>Is he scared of me? Damn right, he should be. But what is he trying now? </p><p>I raise an eyebrow in a silent question for more information. I do need help for Linhardt, that's for sure.</p><p>"Didn't you know?" He asks. It's hard for me to listen to his voice. "Lady Rhea has a way of healing any and every kind of injury. Even Linhardt's legs." </p><p>"I'm not accepting help from that monster. Was that all? I have more business to tend to other than kicking your sorry ass." </p><p>His eyebrows twitch in annoyance. He couldn't have really expected me to go with him. What an idiot. One would think that Edelgard's slave is at least smarter than this.</p><p>Edelgard… </p><p>Oh no, what if she's around? I know Edelgard is an absolute beast when it comes to strength, maybe even more so than Raphael or Balthus here. </p><p>"Hmph, perhaps it's possible to arrange a wheelchair of some sort for him then. It doesn't look like he'll walk again. You must be feeling so guilty." He snickers and his eyes tell me he's enjoying this a lot.</p><p>Did he see what happened with the boulder? How long had he been hiding here in the shadows? Sneaky rat. </p><p>I cast my eyes down to my feet. I do feel extremely guilty about Linhardt's state. But on the other hand… </p><p>"Linhardt wouldn't be in this state if this monastery wasn't as corrupt as it is! What is that thing even doing here, huh?! Why isn't it attacking you?" It's weird, how Hubert can just come here without even fearing that demonic beast. </p><p>He laughs and it gives me goosebumps. Goosebumps of disgust, that is. </p><p>"You probably don't know what that is, do you? In fact, you know absolutely nothing. You may want to stop attacking it, by the way." His grin stays plastered on his face. </p><p>It makes me want to rip his entire face off with my bare hands. </p><p>"What are you talking about? Isn't it keeping us away from here?" I don't like this. I'm getting a sick feeling in my stomach from the way Hubert keeps grinning as he watches professor Byleth slash into the neck of the beast. </p><p>It's covered in blood by now, and every hit from Balthus' fists, every spell Annette fires and every slash from Dedue's axe weakens it further. </p><p>"Almost now… Just a little more..." </p><p>What a sick, disgusting bastard. "What are you talking about? Why is this funny to you?!" </p><p>Answer me already! What are we doing wrong? Should I stop professor Byleth? But what will happen to the others if I do? </p><p>Whatever it is I should do, it's too late for me to find out, when Annette fires one more Seraphim at the beast to finish it off. It collapses to the ground, utterly exhausted and wounded. </p><p>"Serves you right. Now look at what you've done!" Hubert shouts as he cackles loudly. </p><p>The beast glows in a bright light before it seems to disappear. Seems to, because it's actually getting reduced in size. To the size of a person. </p><p>My heartbeat picks up. What's going on? The beast was a person? How is that possible? </p><p>"Huh? What happened to the beast?" Balthus wonders out loud. He scratches his head as he glances over to professor Byleth. </p><p>The professor doesn't even look fazed as he approaches the body of the person lying there now. </p><p>I turn back around to face Hubert and ask what the hell happened just now, but he, along with his knights, disappeared. </p><p>He must have warped away somewhere. "You coward!" I still scream after him, because he's sure to be around here somewhere.</p><p>"L-Lysithea! Come quick!" Annette's loud voice pierces my eardrums. </p><p>Before I head over to the others though, I check on Linhardt. He's still unconscious and I momentarily regret not taking Hubert up on his offer. </p><p>Could Rhea really heal Linhardt? But she's bad, isn't she? But Linhardt's legs… They're in a terrible shape. Maybe I could still ask her. </p><p>"Lysithea, please! Hurry!" Annette calls out once more. </p><p>"Okay! I'm coming, calm down," I mutter as I stand back up to make my way over. </p><p>They're all surrounding the body that came out of the beast. Or what the beast turned into. Or what had become the beast in the first place. </p><p>I don't even know. Hubert wasn't even any help either. All he did was smile wickedly as the beast collapsed. </p><p>"Now, what's all the commotion about?" I ask when I join the group. </p><p>But I'm not listening for any answer anymore. Everything, every sound, every thought, every feeling fades to the background as my eyes fall onto the dead body lying here. </p><p>I recognize that person. I recognize that person all too well. </p><p>"There's no way..!" I drop to my knees as I take the now cold hand from the person lying below me. </p><p>"I'm sorry. You never deserved this. I'm so, so sorry..!" I can't help but apologize, over and over again. </p><p>My eyes produce more tears at a fast pace and any sense of power I had before when facing Hubert is disappearing from my body. I feel completely numb as I stroke the icy skin of the hand I grabbed. </p><p>Annette drops down next to me to put an arm around my shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she whispers, but I don't respond. </p><p>How could this have happened? Could we have prevented this? If only we'd been just a bit faster in starting our rescue.</p><p>But who could do this to another person?</p><p>It must have been Rhea. She will pay for this, if it's the last thing I do!  </p><p> </p><p>~. Claude .~ </p><p> </p><p>"So, what do you think? Is it a possibility?" Ferdinand asks me with those big eyes of his. </p><p>"Uhm, that's a good question. But why do you think they're being kept in the out of order stallions?" I don't want to refuse him, but I also don't want to waste time on something like this. </p><p>Lysithea said she was in a dark space, sort of like a basement or something. There's a chance Leonie and Lorenz are being kept in that same space as she was back then. </p><p>And that's not a stallion. </p><p>"Just think about it! The abandoned stallions, far away from the used stallions. All that goes there is birds! It's the perfect hiding place." </p><p>Maybe for a secret stash of food, or perhaps a valuable item. But it's not a good place to keep a person. </p><p>"I appreciate the creative thinking a lot, but I doubt they're actually there. I'm more thinking of perhaps some secret room, sort of like what Edelgard is in, you know?" </p><p>He ponders it over for a moment, before he shakes his head. "That's what the enemy wants us to think, Claude. A ninja must see through deception." </p><p>What? This guy is so random. I don't even know what that means.</p><p>I'm about to open my mouth to reply, when he literally puts his fingers against my mouth to shush me. </p><p>"Claude, I just got a great idea. How about I check out the stallions by myself? I usually go to the regular stallions a lot to feed and take care of horses, so no one will suspect me there. And in the meantime, you can look for a secret room in the main building! Am I a genius, or what?"</p><p>I gently lift his fingers off my mouth, which he apologizes for doing, before I answer. "That might actually work. Where and when do you suggest we meet up again?"  </p><p>"How about… an hour? It should be lunchtime by then, so we can meet up in front of the dining hall and have lunch together. I'm sure the rest of the Eagles will be there too, so it will be the perfect moment to tell Caspar about Linhardt!" </p><p>An hour… I'll be leaving Ferdinand on his own for an hour. That's plenty of time for him to do something fishy. </p><p>Should I risk it? If anything, it'd be better for him to feel time pressure. He'll be bound to make more mistakes that way. But on the other hand, I should just try to trust him. </p><p>If he has bad intentions, he'll find a way to execute those plans, no matter what I try to prevent that from happening. </p><p>Yuri's words vaguely come back to me. All I can do is hope that I can trust someone and that they won't stab me in the back. </p><p>Ferdinand doesn't seem like a bad person, not at all. But neither did Flayn, and that's what bothers me. Either way, I don't really have a choice. </p><p>If my own senses are still trustworthy, Ferdinand has not faked any smiles at me, has not had any sort of dangerous glint in his eyes and has not stuttered to cover or make up any sort of lie. </p><p>Well then.</p><p>"Alright, an hour sounds fine. I'll see you in front of the dining hall."</p><p>"Great! But be careful, Seteth has appeared more frequently in the hallways. Try not to blow our cover," he whispers. </p><p>Before I can reply, he walks off with a happy smile and a wave of his arm, into the direction of the stallions. </p><p>I thought we weren't under a cover? Or are the Eagles being kept under a watchful eye after all? Or perhaps Ferdinand is just making this all seem much more exciting than it really is.</p><p>There are just so many questions, with too little ways of finding the answers. I'm going to have to be careful that I don't lose sight of my goals. </p><p>Find Lorenz and Leonie, kill Rhea and Seteth. Those are my priorities. I can't afford to keep getting distracted by Edelgard or whatever else. </p><p>Find them, kill the others, then go back to Remire. If all is good, my friends should still be there. My friends, and my lovers. </p><p>I want to see everyone again. My mind has been so occupied with everything that's going on, that I completely forgot to take a moment to think of them. Shame on me.</p><p>I really hope they managed to escape the knights that were headed their way. Remire Village's layout isn't exactly advantageous to them for an escape, but there were plenty of places to hide. </p><p>And how awesome would it be if all the villagers stood up for them, protecting them and chasing the knights out. I wish I could have been there to see it. If that actually happened, I mean. </p><p>But for now, Lorenz and Leonie. Those knights may have taken them to their rooms, like they did with me, so I'll check those out first. </p><p>If I remember correctly, Leonie's room was closer to mine than Lorenz', so that's where I'll start. </p><p>Or maybe I could check out that area that's under construction… Ferdinand said Seteth had forbidden anyone to go there. But can I really believe Seteth like that? Something is definitely fishy about that area though. </p><p>What to do, what to do… I'm seriously wasting time deciding my course of action here. </p><p>Since I'm closest to the restricted area, I suppose I could check that out first. From there, my room is nearby anyway, if I take that way. </p><p>I turn back to walk over to the part of the building that Ferdinand warned me about. Looks like splitting up from Ferdinand has its perks as well, because there's no doubt he'd have stopped me from going to check it out. </p><p>Good. Now I'm free to do whatever I like for an hour. Well, less than an hour. But still plenty of time. </p><p>Maybe I could even go back to Edelgard for a bit, see what she's up to while her Eagles are 'keeping an eye on me'. </p><p>Could it be they're following me? Maybe they're following Ferdinand as well. Crap, I should have warned him. If anyone decides to confront and interrogate Ferdinand, he might not even see anything wrong with answering honestly. </p><p>I take a deep breath. I'll deal with that if it happens. Priorities, Claude. Priorities. </p><p>I make the turn Ferdinand didn't allow me to take before.  </p><p>"What the fuck?" I wonder out loud. </p><p>What the hell is everyone doing here? </p><p>"Claude!" Ignatz is the only one to notice me. </p><p>He hurries over and it's only now that I see he really doesn't look okay. Despite his gladness of seeing me again, he still looks like something terrible just happened. </p><p>"Ignatz? What are you-" He keeps coming closer, to the point where he just launches himself into my arms. </p><p>I don't finish my sentence, and hug him back instead. It's been so long since I've seen him. And seeing him alive is an absolute blessing. </p><p>I look over his shoulder at the others, who haven't noticed my presence yet. Instead, they're all focusing on something further up ahead. </p><p>I wonder what's up. </p><p>"Oh, Claude. I'm so glad-" he sniffles loudly. "I'm so glad to see you're okay. You're really amazing, by the way. For stopping the magic spell with the others. Really!" </p><p>"I'm really glad to see you again too. It's good to see you're not hurt." I squeeze his slender frame a bit tighter before I let go. </p><p>He does the same and takes a step back, out of my personal space bubble. He then takes his glasses off his face to rub the tears from his eyes. Once more, he sniffles before he wipes his nose with his sleeve. </p><p>"Let's go back to the others. I'm really happy to see everyone again. Is that Hilda? Oh, and Marie as well!" I'm getting more and more excited the more familiar faces I can distinguish from the large group of people standing near the dorms. </p><p>I knew something was fishy with this area. I'm so glad for my distrusting brain.</p><p>"R-right, of course." Ignatz follows me closely while I start heading to my friends. </p><p>I can see Teach trying to explain something, but the few people that are listening don't seem to appreciate what they're hearing. </p><p>Actually, the closer I get and the more I can see, the less excited I'm getting. </p><p>Ignatz wasn't looking too good himself either. And now I can hear Hilda crying and sobbing loudly, holding onto Raphael's arm. Raphael, in turn, looks to be in pain as well. </p><p>What the hell is going on? </p><p>Lysithea is sitting on the ground with Linhardt lying with his head on her lap. She's not talking to anyone, absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair. </p><p>Is that blood on his legs? What happened to Linhardt? Is that why everyone's so distraught?</p><p>Yuri is discussing something with a few unfamiliar persons, likely his own people, but even they don't seem to be happy. </p><p>Ingrid, Sylvain, Felix and Dima are standing together, but not talking either. Sylvain is supporting Dimitri's weight, maybe because of his wound.</p><p>"Ignatz, mind telling me what's going on?" I'm scared to hear the answer, but I need to know. </p><p>It can't be that Teach is telling some kind of terrible story, right? But Annette, Dedue and Marianne really don't look like they're doing okay over there. </p><p>"We came here through the passage underneath the monastery," Ignatz starts explaining. "We crossed Abyss together, but a small group already went on ahead while the rest of us fought off all the knights. The group that came up first encountered something that was called a 'demonic beast'. They managed to kill it." </p><p>He takes a deep breath, and for a second, I'm feeling relieved he stopped talking there. But that answer doesn't explain why everyone is in such a sour mood.</p><p>"After the beast died, it disappeared and the body of a dead person was left behind. That dead person was…" He almost chokes as he tries to tell me the name. </p><p>"Who? Who was it?" I don't want to push him, but I'm fucking scared right now. </p><p>I didn't miss anyone before, but I do another scan over the faces of the people that are here right now. </p><p>Dima and Yuri are here, Lysithea is here, together with Linhardt. The three musketeers are here; Ingrid, Sylvain and Felix, and Annette and Dedue are present as well. The rest of my Deer are here as well; Ignatz, Hilda, Raphael and Marianne. And Teach is here. </p><p>I'm just missing Lorenz and Leonie, obviously. I was looking for them. </p><p>...wait. Lorenz and Leonie..? </p><p>"Lorenz' body was left behind," Ignatz chokes out before he starts sobbing. "It's all our f-fault! If only we were stronger, we could have helped. We c-could have done something! I'm sorry, Claude. I'm s-so sorry for being so w-weak." </p><p>Lorenz… Lorenz is dead. I lost one of my friends. My mind goes blank for a moment before I register Ignatz' loud sobbing next to me.</p><p>I put an arm around Ignatz' shoulders and press his head into my own shoulder. "Don't bring yourself down like that, Ignatz. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Not yours, or anyone's here." </p><p>There's an uncomfortable tremble in my voice, but I managed to speak clearly. </p><p>His shoulders shock from the sobbing, so I rub his arm to comfort him a little.</p><p>"T-that's not true. You know it too, Claude. How weak we are. L-Lorenz tried to- to protect us all. And now- A-and now he's gone. Dead, because o-of us." </p><p>"Shh, don't. There's only a few people responsible for this. And I can promise you, it's not one of us, Ignatz. The only person who's to blame is the monster who did that to Lorenz." </p><p>Not Lorenz' group, not Lorenz himself, not even the group who killed the beast. Only the monster who turned Lorenz. </p><p>We come to a halt a small distance away from Raphael and Hilda, where I deliver Ignatz. He's still sniffling as he walks over to them. </p><p>I'm heading over a bit further, to the spot where Lorenz' body probably lies. If the amount of people near it is anything to go by.</p><p>Everyone is too much in shock, or too busy grieving to notice me walking around, so I have all the peace I'd like to say a proper goodbye to him. </p><p>Only Byleth notices me, who nods at me briefly before he turns his attention back to Annette, who is trying really hard not to cry. </p><p>I don't think the Blue Lions were so close to Lorenz, so I appreciate all of their sentiments. After all, friend or not, Lorenz still was just a young student with his whole life still ahead of him. </p><p>A young man who died a tragic, probably painful, unnecessary death for some twisted cause. </p><p>I hate that he must have suffered his last moments. </p><p>I crouch down in front of his bloody, injured body. Are these injuries the group inflicted on him during their fight with the beast? Or did he have these before he was turned? Or perhaps he got hurt so bad because he was turned.</p><p>I honestly don't even want to think about it. He suffered, that much is obvious. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Lorenz. I'm really sorry for taking too much time with rescuing you. I just told Ignatz that we aren't responsible for your death, but that was honestly just a lie in an attempt to make him feel better. I do feel responsible for what happened to you. I was supposed to lead you and keep you safe, all of you, but I failed you. Anyway, enough about me. You were, despite annoying sometimes, an incredibly well-meaning and responsible guy. You tried so hard to impress all of us, every single time we needed you. Well, mostly Hilda, don't think I didn't notice, but still. You had amazing skills, whether that was magic, fighting with a lance or leadership. It's a real shame you left us so early. You really deserved a better end. An end where you were old and happy, or at least one where you died a heroic death, fighting for your beliefs. But not like this. Rest in peace, my friend. Although, I'm sure you'd still deny that, even now." </p><p>The back of my fingers stroke his cheek, and I jolt from how cold his skin is. I always read in books that a human body goes cold when it dies, but that couldn't prepare me for the feeling I get from touching it with my own hands.</p><p>It honestly feels a bit surreal, seeing him like this. Lorenz is dead. I just can't wrap my head around it. Somehow I feel like this isn't even Lorenz, and that this is some kind of stupid joke of his. </p><p>But it's not, is it? This is really Lorenz. And he's not waking up anymore. He'll never wake up again. </p><p>I wipe at my eyes before I move my fingers back to his cheek. At least he looks calm, with his eyes closed like this. I hope he's in a better place now. Better than this shithole. </p><p>A hand gently touches my shoulder and squeezes it softly before the owner's body sits down next to me. </p><p>"Hey you," Dimitri says with a soft voice. </p><p>I glance at him and show him a smile, but even I feel it comes out way too forced to seem remotely believable. </p><p>I shift my gaze back at Lorenz while trying to blink away my tears. It doesn't work properly, since a tear still rolls down my cheek. </p><p>"Sorry, I'm just-" I don't want to finish my sentence. Instead, I shrug. </p><p>I suppose if anyone knows how this feels, it's Dimitri, who lost two of his friends like this. </p><p>I didn't really think this would happen to me, despite how unrealistic that sounds. I'm still too naive, it seems. </p><p>The hand on my shoulder moves to stroke over my back before it takes a gentle hold on my waist and pulls me against Dima's body. </p><p>I rest my head against his shoulder and close my eyes for a bit. God knows I need it. Dimitri gives me a soft kiss against the side of my head, but doesn't do or say anything else. </p><p>I appreciate the silent comfort. It gives me a bit of peace to come to terms with what happened here. </p><p>This is all the more reason to get rid of Rhea. I'm just terribly worried about Leonie right now. </p><p>Who knows what's happening to her right this moment? I don't have time to be sitting here and crying like a child. I have responsibilities to uphold. </p><p>I take a deep breath to collect myself. I notice Dima looking at me to see how I'm holding up. I shouldn't worry him right now. </p><p>I'm strong. I can postpone my grievance to another time. Lorenz honestly deserves better than that, but I just can't afford to keep lingering here. Not with everything that's still going on around us.</p><p>I'll take more time to grieve properly once this is over, I promise. </p><p>I take hold of Dima's face so I can give his cheek a kiss. "Thanks, handsome. I missed you." </p><p>I did miss him. Him, Yuri and everyone else. I'm really happy that they're all here, despite that they were supposed to be safe and hiding in Remire Village. </p><p>I only now realize that Linhardt and Sylvain came along as well. Something I hoped for, but didn't expect. </p><p>Dimitri brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "I missed you too, love. God, I was so worried when Raphael told us what was going on. I'm so happy to see you're okay." </p><p>One look in his eye tells me exactly how relieved he is to see me. I want to bask in his warmth and comfort for as long as I can, but I just don't have any time right now.</p><p>Priorities, Claude. Leonie is still missing.</p><p>But I can't help but wonder something. "I told Raphael to hide in Remire Village though. What are you all doing here?"</p><p>"Do you really think that, after Raphael explained the situation, we'd all stay put? Really, Claude?" Yuri's voice sounds from behind me. </p><p>Both Dimitri and I look up at him surprised. "Oh, hello there," I greet. </p><p>"Oh, hello there, my ass! Get up, right now," he orders.</p><p>Is he mad or something? Either way, I quickly do as he says. Dima seems to struggle with getting up, so I help him before I turn to Yuri. </p><p>I haven't even let go of Dima's hand yet when Yuri collides his body with my own. He squeezes me really tightly, to the point where it gets a little hard to breathe. </p><p>"You fucking idiot. Do you have any idea how worried we all were when Lysithea told us you got taken?" </p><p>Instead of trying to wriggle out of his tight hold like I was doing before, I try to relax in it and return the hug. It still feels too tight for comfort, but it might be just what I need. </p><p>Some brute force to press my broken pieces back together, after Dima glued them. </p><p>"Well, no. I wasn't exactly there to see it." </p><p>Yuri lets go of me momentarily to slap my ass, hard. I scrunch up my face from the sting of it.</p><p>"That's not even a bit funny, you dick." He frowns at me for a second before it shifts into something of a smile. "I'm happy to see you're okay though. Well, despite what happened to your friend. I'm really sorry about that." </p><p>Right, Lorenz… </p><p>My improving mood is going back downhill now. Thanks for the reminder, Yuri. I shouldn't forget. Not so easily. </p><p>"Thank you," I reply quietly. "I'm glad to see everyone again too, despite that y'all didn't follow my plan. I hope you didn't struggle too much during the trip here." </p><p>"You don't need to worry about us. I think your Deer would be delighted to see you again though," Dimitri reminds me.</p><p>I nod. "Yeah, I'll go see them now. Just don't look at me, I'll probably start crying again." </p><p>Crying faces are ugly. And these two are the last people who I would want to see mine.</p><p>I walk off towards Hilda, Ignatz and Raphael, but I can still hear part of Yuri's and Dima's conversation.</p><p>"Why'd you chase him off?" Yuri asks. "I want more time with him than just thirty seconds."</p><p>"I didn't mean to chase him off," Dima defends. "But he should be with his friends right now. They haven't seen Claude for much longer than us. Don't be so selfish." </p><p>I decide to stop listening now. I'm not sure if I'm right, but I'm sensing a bit of hostility between them. Do they not get along when I'm not around? Or worse, do they not want to get along when I'm gone? </p><p>That could cause some friction between the three of us. </p><p>I sigh. I don't want that as well to become a problem I have to deal with. God damn it. Can nothing ever go right? </p><p>"Oh, Claude. I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" Hilda whines as she approaches me. </p><p>I close her into my arms immediately, hugging her tightly. "Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry too." </p><p>She just keeps crying loudly. My shirt is getting wet where her tears and snot get absorbed into the fabric, but I can't find it in me to care about that. </p><p>I should have never let them leave on their own. That's probably the biggest mistake I made, during this whole ordeal. </p><p>Splitting up never ends well. Lysithea was right back then. We saw what happened the first time we split up, yet we made the exact same mistake once more. </p><p>No more splitting up ever again. </p><p>Raphael and Ignatz join in our hug as well. It's been a long time since our last Deer group hug, and now it can never be the same again. </p><p>"Where's Marianne?" I whisper. </p><p>"Marianne! Come on over!" Raphael shouts. </p><p>It takes a bit of time before another person gets squeezed into our hug. She's right next to me, so I grab her a bit more tightly. It's been too long since we were together. </p><p>"Hey Marie," I greet quietly. </p><p>"Hello…" </p><p>Now I'm just missing one more person. Well, from who's available anyway.</p><p>"And where's Lysithea?" I ask quietly. </p><p>Once more, Raphael stretches his neck to shout that Lysithea should come and join us.</p><p>It's not like no one else can join us, but I'm sure the non-Deer understand. We need some kind of closure before we tackle our next obstacle. </p><p>"I thought something happened to Linhardt," Ignatz informs. </p><p>I do remember seeing Linhardt lying on Lysithea's lap when I arrived. </p><p>"Do you know what that was?" </p><p>He shakes his head though. </p><p>"Oh, there you are," Hilda announces when Lysithea finally joins. </p><p>"Sorry… I'm just… I'm not doing okay right now," Lysithea admits. </p><p>"I don't think any of us are, so don't feel bad about that. Let's just stick together from now on. No more separating." </p><p>"I second that," Raphael quickly agrees. </p><p>"Yes, please. No more splitting up." Hilda wipes her eyes, not minding her makeup at all.</p><p>I can feel Marianne's head bobbing up and down, indicating that she agrees as well. </p><p>Ignatz tries for a smile, while sniffling still. </p><p>"I swear to god," Lysithea starts. "If anyone proposes to split up ever again." </p><p>A few of us laugh softly at that. I think we've all learned our lesson by now.</p><p>"Then that's settled. Whoever proposes to split up, will be taken care of by Lysithea," I conclude.</p><p>"And not gently, like hard," Lysithea finishes. </p><p>"I'm glad to see everyone else again," Ignatz finally speaks up. His voice trembles a bit from the heavy emotions. </p><p>I smile at that. "Me too, Ignatz. Let's all make sure we won't lose anybody else anymore. This pain needs to stop already. We're going after Rhea as soon as we can." </p><p>"Now that's a plan I can get behind. And let's not forget about Edelgard and her bootlicker Hubert," Lysithea adds. </p><p>"I never noticed Edelgard wears boots," Ignatz comments. "O-oh, you meant metaphorical. Never mind, forget I said anything." </p><p>"Ignatz, you're such a dork," Hilda giggles. </p><p>I rub over Mariannes back once. I don't want her to feel excluded because she doesn't talk much. She's just a big a part of us as everyone else. </p><p>I actually receive a smile from her for my gesture. "I-I'm happy we can be together again," she quietly admits. </p><p>We all agree with her and cheer her on loudly, which causes her cheeks to flush pink. </p><p>I like this. I'm really happy we can find strength in each other, even in dark times like this. </p><p>We lost Lorenz, a dear friend. And we must never forget about him. </p><p>Rest in peace, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester. We will take care of things for you down here, so watch over us.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel bad for killing another character, despite that I kinda agreed with myself that I wouldn't anymore</p><p>Hopefully I didn't stab anyone's heart by pulling this</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>YOOOOOO </p><p>This chappie (i know, cringe) is a bit shorter than usual, hope you don't mind but I wanted a cliffhanger heheheh </p><p>Also, we're back to only Claude's POV bc the split POV's was honestly a little difficult to write. I really messed with my own brain there </p><p>Please enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'm not sure how much time we spend together, talking and trying to comfort each other. All I do know is that I'm forgetting something. </p><p>Meanwhile, the others have joined us as well. I'm currently settled right inbetween my two boyfriends, who are both trying very hard to comfort me with gentle touches, kisses and words. </p><p>What am I forgetting though? Let's see… Ah, fuck. </p><p>"Guys, we need to look for Leonie. Right now." I get up quickly to draw everyone's attention.</p><p>I said that as if it's easy, but how are we supposed to go about this? We obviously can't just walk around the monastery, since we aren't supposed to be here. </p><p>And I have to meet back with Ferdinand in just a bit. Should I tell him everyone came back? Or should I try to keep their presence a secret for as long as I can? </p><p>Perhaps letting Ferdinand know wouldn't hurt so much. He might even be glad to see Linhardt again. But then there's Edelgard, and I really don't know what to do about her. </p><p>"Where do you want to start looking?" Dima asks. </p><p>Everyone else's eyes are on me, waiting for my all-revealing answer. </p><p>I scratch the back of my head. "I'm actually kind of struggling with the idea of letting you all walk around the monastery. I have no doubt that you'll want to see your families and tell them everything, but we have to be smart here. Rhea can't find out we're all here, or she'll plan something against us immediately. And she's not one to underestimate." </p><p>She literally tried to brainwash me after all. Not gonna lie, that gave me a seriously messed up feeling. And who knows what else she's capable of, besides turning humans into monsters? </p><p>Our enemy is way too strong to take on carelessly. </p><p>"My Wolves can search and walk around," Yuri notices. "No one here recognizes us as students, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem." </p><p>Right. Yuri's people have never been up here in the monastery, but that also means he can't really navigate around here. And this place is huge if you don't know where you're going. </p><p>I still nod at him to grant permission. That'll be his problem to deal with after all. I need every single bit of help I can get. </p><p>"Wait, are you saying we can't see our families?" Hilda asks. "After all this time…" </p><p>Fuck. I really don't know what I should do right now. I didn't expect them all to come here, and now I have barely any time to think of something. </p><p>Ferdinand might already be waiting for me in front of the dining hall. Ah, shit. What if he starts looking for me? I wouldn't put it past him at all.</p><p>And there's the Eagles that might be watching us right now too. </p><p>If anything, having them with their families might be the safest place for them, since Rhea hopefully won't casually attack her inhabitants. </p><p>This sucks. Can't Byleth take over the lead for me? Why am I the one doing this again? </p><p>"Teach," I whine. "Help me." </p><p>Byleth nods at me and I think I can see the gears in his head turning. Maybe being under the spell affected his use of expressions, and they're slowly returning. </p><p>"Are you sure you want the professor's help?" Lysithea sounds incredulous. "All he wants is to fight! He'll just say something like; let's find Rhea and kill her right away." </p><p>Byleth turns to her. "Is that not an acceptable proposal?" </p><p>"No!" Multiple people shout at him. </p><p>Wow, they're in sync. That's pretty impressive. </p><p>"Okay… I think I have an idea, so listen up," I announce. "Why don't you all go see your families for just a short while? I have to meet up with someone real soon, and I can't think of a better place to hide the lot of you. Just don't leave your parent's quarters and for god's sake, don't let them mention your return." </p><p>I can see multiple pairs of eyes start to twinkle at my words. It makes me feel glad, knowing I can make them happy with something as simple as this.</p><p>But the moment I said I have to meet someone, both Dima's and Yuri's eyes fixated on me. They obviously have the wrong idea here, which makes me laugh to myself a bit. </p><p>Talk about possessive. Well, not that I mind. That means they at least still care about me, even if they don't get along with each other. I do have to fix that somehow though. </p><p>I'll ignore their questioning looks for now. I have more important things to do. "Meanwhile, Yuri, you and your guys can search the monastery. See if you can find a young woman with short ginger hair. I think she's hidden somewhere in a basement or hidden room, so search thoroughly." </p><p>He squints his eyes at me, likely because of my lack of explaining about the person I'm meeting. "Well, alright… If you need help, don't hesitate to shout out. You know I'll come running."  </p><p>I nod and smile at him, and he starts to gather his few allies to think of a plan together. Honestly, I just don't want to risk him and Ferdinand meeting. I figured out that neither Yuri, nor Ferdinand have a filter on their mouth, which would undoubtedly lead to problems between them.</p><p>And then things might not end well for Ferdie.</p><p>But alright, they're good to go. Now for everyone else…</p><p>"Teach won't be recognized easily by any inhabitants, but I'm sure that Rhea might, since they were once enemies. Therefore I suggest that you'll stay with me, professor. So I can make sure you at least won't try to do anything by yourself. Please hide your sword and identity, they might trigger some unwanted reactions from certain people." </p><p>Byleth nods at me before he starts hiding his sword under his cape. He doesn't have anything to cover his head with though.</p><p>"Oh! Allow me, professor!" Annette giggles as she unties both her pigtails. </p><p>She uses one hair tie to make one ponytail on her own head, and the other one she uses to tie back Byleth's hair. I'm a bit surprised Teach is so easygoing about this. Perhaps he's really just a nice guy. </p><p>A few strands manage to get loose from the hold of the hair tie, but the rest of his hair is pulled back nicely. He actually has a really pretty face. Not that I'd ever say that out loud, my boyfriends are already jealous enough as it is. </p><p>He looks unrecognizable enough, so I nod at Annette, who shows the most cheerful smile up to now. She's really trying to lighten up the mood, even if a little. </p><p>I'm grateful for that, so I smile back at her. </p><p>But seeing Byleth's hair makes me want to tie up Dima's hair too. He gave me permission to do that before, but I never got to it. He'd be beautiful without all that hair covering his face, I'm sure of it.</p><p>"So, the rest of y'all should go and see your families then. I'm sure you've been dying to see them, so I'm not about to stop you now. Although, please be careful. If anyone blows our cover, we might not all be able to get out of here anymore. So, please, use your heads." </p><p>"Uhm, Claude?" Dimitri suddenly asks. "Where are you and professor Byleth going then?" </p><p>"Like I said, I have someone I have to meet, so I'll be doing that first. Depending on him, Teach and I will act. I can't say for sure where we'll be going, but don't worry." </p><p>He fidgets a little with his eyepatch, moving it over his scar. It's a little bit crooked now though, so I walk over to fix it for him. </p><p>His cheeks turn pink, showing his embarrassment. </p><p>"Can't I come with you? I… I don't think I'm ready to face my parents. Not like this. You're meeting up with Edelgard, right? I need to talk to her too, so please?" </p><p>Fuck, I can't say no to him when he looks at me like that. What should I do? I'm not even meeting up with Edelgard, but he might think I'm lying if I say that. </p><p>I look back towards the others. Most of them have started heading towards their families' dorms already, but there are still a few others who are lingering. </p><p>Marianne, Felix and Sylvain have all stayed behind, which makes me wonder why. Do they have problems with their families too, just like Dimitri? I remember Marianne having troubles with her father, so I'm not surprised about her. I never expected the other two to be in the same boat though.</p><p>But I can't possibly take all of them with me to the dining hall. And Ferdie isn't even the problem. The other Eagles will be there too, and they're still an unpredictable factor. </p><p>"Hang on a second," I tell Dimitri. "Aren't you guys going to see your families?" I ask the three that are just standing there uselessly. </p><p>"I don't have any reason to go see them," Felix truthfully answers.</p><p>"I'm not really on good terms with my parents either," Sylvain admits with a smile. </p><p>I'm not sure what there is to smile about though. But it's not really any of my business. My current problem is that I don't know what to do with them if they don't want to go see their families. </p><p>"Don't worry about us though," Sylvain assures. "We'll stay out of sight. You didn't really mention a time when we should meet up again with the others though." </p><p>Ah, fuck, he's right. "Couldn't you have said that sooner?" </p><p>"I just now realized, haha. Sorry. Give us a time, we'll pass it on to the others." </p><p>"What do you mean, 'we'?" Felix barks. "I'm going to the training grounds." </p><p>"No, you're not. The knights train there too, Felix. We'll stay hidden," Sylvain assures me once more. "Just give us a time, we'll tell the others." </p><p>I'm not sure if I should put all of my faith in Sylvain right now, and I also don't really know if Marianne is okay with hanging around these guys. </p><p>Seems my uncertainty is visible, because Sylvain starts walking towards me. "Look, Claude. We've betrayed your trust once, and I'm sorry about that. Really. Shame on me for asking this, but please trust me once more. I'm a pretty responsible guy, despite what I may seem like. So believe me when I say I'll keep Felix and Marianne out of harm."</p><p>Okay. I'll believe him. He sounds sincere enough. And I put my trust in Ferdinand, so I can put my trust in Sylvain too. </p><p>"Just don't make Marianne uncomfortable, you hear?" I turn to Marianne. "You're letting me know if he makes you uncomfortable, okay?" </p><p>If her own father is such an asshole, I can take over his job for him. </p><p>She looks surprised, before a faint smile makes its way on her delicate face. She nods, but doesn't say anything. </p><p>That's great. I gesture to Sylvain that I'm keeping an eye on him, which makes him laugh loudly. He pats my shoulder and winks. </p><p>"Just… Meet me in front of the dining hall after everyone's done with lunch. I'll make sure to linger behind, so we won't miss each other." I suppose that would work best.</p><p>"Alright, gotcha. We'll be there!" And with that, he gathers both Felix and Marianne and heads off towards the dorms. </p><p>Now that they're gone, it's just Dima, Teach and myself left. </p><p>I turn back to Dimitri. "Well, Dima. I'm not actually going to meet with Edelgard, but I'll tell you where she is. You can go and talk to her while Teach and I go to the dining hall to meet up with Ferdinand." </p><p>He looks taken aback a bit. "Do you not want me to come with you? I mean, I do want to talk to Edelgard, but..." </p><p>Wait, no. "Huh? No, that's not it. I just figured you'd rather talk to Edelgard than come with me." </p><p>I can't make use of him right now, especially because of his injury. I don't really want to tell him that though, so I'm hoping he'll choose to go to Edelgard.</p><p>He hesitates for a moment. </p><p>"Look, you'll have a calmer peace of mind once you talk to her. I know I did. She's had her reasons for her actions, but it's best if you hear it from her mouth, rather than mine." That should reassure him.</p><p>"...Alright. If you say so, I'll believe you." </p><p>Good. It's already bad enough that I have to take Byleth with me, so I'm glad Dimitri at least won't be around me. He's bound to distract me from my goals, like he always does, so this is better. </p><p>I'm so happy I put Yuri to the task of looking for Leonie. Now I can think of something concrete and not stress over the fact that I'm not searching for her.</p><p>"Edelgard is hidden inside one of the old storage rooms near the knight's hall. The bookcase is covering the opening, but you'll find it once you know it's there. Just try to stay out of view." </p><p>"Yeah, of course. You as well." He doesn't make an attempt to move yet, which makes it obvious he wants to say something. </p><p>He's been acting a bit weird since I sent Yuri away. Could it have to do something with that? </p><p>But I just can't afford to waste time here. He'll have to spill it now or suck it up.</p><p>"Is there something else?" I ask. </p><p>He looks surprised, before he collects himself enough to answer. "Oh, no, it's nothing important. I'll go and find Edelgard now. I'll see you later." </p><p>With that, he leaves Byleth and me behind. No kiss, no hug, not even a smile. It leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth, but there's nothing I can do right now. </p><p>I have to go and meet with Ferdinand and tell him my friends are here, so that we can start forming a plan. </p><p>"Well then, shall we go too?" Fuck, my voice cracked. </p><p>I really don't like that Dimitri is hiding something from me, but I can't afford to linger on that. I'll have a proper talk with him as soon as I can, which is hopefully real soon. </p><p>"Okay." </p><p>Good thing Teach is an easygoing man. He won't give me much trouble. </p><p>.</p><p>"Hm, looks like we're still early. No one's inside the dining hall yet," I inform Byleth.</p><p>He nods.</p><p>"Let's just stay out here for the time being. I promised to meet up with my friend outside the dining hall, after all." </p><p>He nods once more. </p><p>It's hard for me to get used to him. Not only because he's still a terrible conversationalist, but also because of what Annette did to his hair. </p><p>He really is a good-looking man. I never really noticed because his hair was covering most of his face. But damn. </p><p>"Let's just wait on one of those benches. Ferdinand is bound to come past here anyway, since he's coming from the stables." I gesture towards a bench and walk over with Byleth following right behind me. </p><p>We both sit down. It feels a bit awkward to be here with just Byleth, if I'm being honest. We haven't really bonded before, so I'm not sure what to talk about with him. </p><p>I guess thanking him is something I should do now.</p><p>"Thanks for leading my friends here safely. I'm sure it wasn't easy to get here, with all the knights everywhere." </p><p>"It wasn't too difficult, actually," he admits. "You have strong allies." </p><p>Hearing that from a fighting legend like Byleth makes my heart swell with pride. I thought my friends are strong, but hearing a confirmation from someone who knows what he's talking about really makes me feel good. </p><p>"Yeah, they're really amazing. I hope they didn't give you too much trouble. They can be quite a handful sometimes." </p><p>He just shakes his head. "No, they didn't. Nothing unusual, anyway. I was a teacher before, so I'm used to quite a lot of things." </p><p>Right, we aren't the first set of teenagers he's had to teach how to fight properly. It's a strange thought, Byleth having lived a hundred years prior to this era. </p><p>"Are you scared? To face off against your old enemies again, I mean." I doubt this man is capable of feeling fear, but he lost to these people before. </p><p>"No. I'm confident we'll win this time. I'm not sure what happened back then, but I think someone or something stopped my attack. That's why I lost." </p><p>Someone stopped his attack? He can't mean that Flayn performed a Silence on the professor, right? But now that he mentions it… Solon had already performed the spell when Teach arrived, and Solon said that he needed Flayn's blood in order to complete the spell. </p><p>So she worked with him from the beginning. Just thinking about what kind of person Flayn was, makes me incredibly angry. </p><p>Such a sweet and generous girl, completely blinded by envy and jealousy of this man sitting here next to me. And for what? Lady Rhea's attention? How foolish. </p><p>Should I tell him it was Flayn though? He probably still sees her as his dear student and I'm not sure about how much anyone else has told him about what happened back at Remire. </p><p>That settles it; I won't tell him. One might say he deserves to know who caused his loss, but that's all over with now anyway. Teach would be better off thinking of Flayn as the way he remembers her to be. </p><p>So, I shrug. "Maybe one of those mages knew some sort of spell that held you back." </p><p>"Yes. Maybe." He sounds kinda bitter.</p><p>I suppose if you're so used to winning, losing a fight has all the more impact on you. And especially because of the consequences of that specific loss. </p><p>He's allowed to still be bitter about it. I'm just glad he's helping us fix this mess now. He's truly a great asset. </p><p>"Oh, Claude!" I recognize that incredibly loud, cheerful voice. "I can't believe you came back before me. I hope you haven't been waiting for too long!" </p><p>I get up to greet Ferdinand. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I kinda lost track of time, so I just came here in case I was late." </p><p>He looks me over for a second before he hums. "You don't look too well. I suppose you haven't found them either? I certainly didn't. And what I said before about only birds going there was a complete lie. I found out that it's more a place where couples do the… you know… the 'dirty'. I caught them red-handed! And guess what, Claude. They just told me to mind my own business when I told them to do that somewhere more private. I've never been more embarrassed in my life!" </p><p>He runs a hand through his wavy hair in an exasperated motion and I can't help but laugh loudly. </p><p>Of course something like that would happen to Ferdinand. </p><p>"And it wasn't even like they were trying to hide it!" He continues. "That woman, she had absolutely no shame whatsoever. It was like- Oh, pardon my manners. Hello there," he greets Byleth politely.</p><p>"Hello," Teach greets back. </p><p>"Claude," Ferdinand hisses at me. "Who is that and why is he with you? Don't tell me you got caught!" </p><p>When I'm done laughing about his ridiculous story, I decide to answer. "No, not at all. We have lots to discuss, so let's go inside." </p><p>I look at Byleth, who is just getting up from the bench to follow me inside the dining hall. Thankfully, it's still early so we can take a seat a bit isolated from the other tables.</p><p>"Shall we get some food first? I've gotten incredibly hungry," Ferdinand tells us.</p><p>He's just asking for it. "Yeah, I'm sure you are after seeing the dirty." </p><p>He turns to me with the most shocked look I've seen on his face yet. "Claude! Behave yourself!" </p><p>Too easy. "Okay, okay, fine. Let's grab some food, I skipped breakfast too." </p><p>Now that I think about it, I still have chores that I need to finish today. What a disaster. </p><p>The three of us take a plate and head to the chef. She nods at both Ferdinand and me, but furrows her eyebrows at Teach. </p><p>"He's teaching us the way of the knight," I quickly explain. I honest to god have no idea if that's even a thing, but Byleth nods in confirmation, which the chef finds just as well. </p><p>"Enjoy your meal," she says when we head back to our table. </p><p>"Thank you! Will do!" Ferdinand replies and I have to shush him to make sure he won't draw too much attention towards us. </p><p>He apologizes with a smile, so I let it go. I suppose he just doesn't know any better than to be himself. </p><p>"So, what did you have to discuss?" He asks with a hushed voice. </p><p>"Right, let me explain quickly before the other Eagles get here. So I told you about the spell and what happened to it and after that, right?" </p><p>He nods eagerly. Such a puppy.</p><p>"I originally thought my friends would stay in Remire Village, but it turns out that they came back for me. So they're here right now, and this mister here is proof of that. His name is professor Byleth and he'll help us with getting rid of Rhea." </p><p>He nods in understanding, but I can read the confusion all over his face. "Okay, so let me get this straight then. The other groups have returned to the monastery? But where are they then?" </p><p>"I'm hiding them, obviously. How would Rhea react if she sees them? We were never supposed to come back here." </p><p>He nods again. "A wise decision indeed. I'm so amazed by how far you keep thinking ahead of everyone, Claude. It shows I still have much to learn!" </p><p>What a flatterer. Either way, I guess I should tell him about Lorenz as well. </p><p>"Also… I found Lorenz." </p><p>He gasps and leans forward to hear my soft voice better. "No way! And here I thought I had the perfect location, but you outsmarted me again!" </p><p>I smile, but the memory of Lorenz' cold body makes it seem forced. Even Ferdinand can see that, since he gets serious all of a sudden. </p><p>"Is- Is Lorenz alright?" </p><p>I shake my head. "No, Ferdinand. Lorenz… Didn't make it." </p><p>I don't really know how else to say it. </p><p>He casts his eyes downward as he lays his fork to the side. I'm having trouble eating now as well. </p><p>Unlike Byleth, who is casually munching on the fish stew prepared by the head chef. At least he's enjoying it.</p><p>"Is there… uhm… Do you know what happened?" Ferdinand asks softly. </p><p>I swallow thickly. "Yeah. He was turned into some kind of beast. My friends fought him, not knowing it was Lorenz and they took him down. I'm not sure what part killed him, whether it was the transformation or my friends fighting him, but he probably suffered." </p><p>His face becomes more pale with every word that comes out of my mouth. </p><p>"How awful… Who could do such a thing? I- I'm honestly not sure of what to say right now." </p><p>We stay quiet for a short while, letting what happened sink in once more. </p><p>"We really need to make Rhea pay, Ferdinand. Even if we have to destroy this whole monastery in the process." </p><p>He nods. "Yes, you are absolutely right. But how could we do that? I mean, all we have is a few students. We could never face off against such a great power by ourselves…" </p><p>How could we do that? That's a great question. Obviously, Rhea can keep up her disgusting acts because the rest of the monastery is completely oblivious to what's going on. </p><p>"What we need to do, is break down her system. We have to destroy her and her community from the inside out. If she wants to play twisted games with us, we have to beat her. And we actually have enough people to pull it off now that my friends have come." </p><p>That's right. If we can break down this monastery, part by part, Rhea won't know what's happening around her. We have to bring light to the darkness she's created, show the people here what kind of messed up person is controlling the system. </p><p>If she can't make any victims, she can't play disgusting games. </p><p>"Uhm, so what do you suggest we should do?" He scratches his head in confusion. </p><p>Right, I didn't expect him to follow my way of thinking. But that's fine. As long as I understand it myself. </p><p>We need to stir up a bit of chaos around here. Just enough that Rhea can't exert her power for a bit. And of course to let her know we're here and we're coming for her. </p><p>"Ah, Caspar! Petra, over here!" Ferdinand calls out towards the small group of Eagles that just entered the dining hall. </p><p>I wonder if they saw my friends. Dimitri isn't with them, so I don't think they were around when Dimitri went to Edelgard to talk. </p><p>The group approaches us and takes a seat at our table. Dorothea decides to sit next to me. </p><p>"Hey, handsome. How's your day going?" Her voice sounds too sweet for my liking. </p><p>She's either laying it on too thickly with the flirting, or she's insinuating that I'm up to something suspicious. </p><p>Something suspicious? Me? Damn right. </p><p>"It's going quite well, thanks. How's yours?" Best to just play along and answer her question. </p><p>She gives me an answer with a sultry smile, but I couldn't hear it if I wanted to. Ferdinand's voice is just way too loud as he happily announces to Caspar that Linhardt is still alive. </p><p>"What?! How did you know? Where's Linhardt now then?" Caspar replies in an equally loud voice. </p><p>These two are already giving me a headache. </p><p>"He's actually here right now, in the monastery! I'm not sure where, but Claude might know!" He turns to me to ask again, despite that pretty much the whole fucking dining hall probably heard him. </p><p>"Ferdinand! For fuck's sake, be quiet!" </p><p>His face shifts into a downright oopsie-face. Caspar's as well. </p><p>I'm pretty sure I saw Raphael carrying Linhardt when he and Lysithea went inside the building to visit their families. I'm not sure what happened to him after that. </p><p>"He is here, but I'm not sure where. So if you want to see him, you'll have to go and look for him yourself." </p><p>"Unbelievable! He actually survived Hubert's attack! That jackass, I always doubted his weird resistance training, but looks like it paid off after all!" Caspar yells. </p><p>"Caspar, seriously?! Shut up!" I cannot believe these two. </p><p>I get that they're excited to hear their friend is okay, but they should at least consider the circumstances. </p><p>"Right, Caspar. We can't expose Linhardt's presence, before Hubert might come back to finish him off for good. Let's look for him in quiet," Ferdinand suggests. </p><p>His volume has -finally- reduced to a normal one. </p><p>"Boys, am I right?" Dorothea asks with a teasing giggle. </p><p>I sigh deeply. "Tell me about it." </p><p>"Can I ask you something, Claude?" </p><p>I nod at her. "Sure. What's up?" </p><p>She looks around the table to check if anyone's listening in and it does not make me comfortable. </p><p>"Why does Edie want us to keep an eye on you? What are you up to?" </p><p>That's an unexpected question. "Perhaps because she doesn't trust me. You can tell her not to worry about me though. I'm not up to anything fishy. We share the same goal, after all. Don't we?" </p><p>Two can play this game. </p><p>"But of course!" She runs a finger over my knee. "She's just terribly worried that you'll betray her as well. You understand why she thinks so, right?" </p><p>"I don't, actually. She's always had a problem with me." And I'm not even lying here. </p><p>The finger on my knee gets replaced with her whole hand, which is now gently stroking over my thigh. </p><p>"But you are a sneaky person, right? You can't deny that. You even left her hanging on her offer!" </p><p>I did leave her hanging. Can't say I feel bad about that, though. I still don't know if I can trust Edelgard. Her story did make a lot of sense, but some things just don't sit right with me. </p><p>"You're awfully curious. Don't you think this is something between Edelgard and myself?" </p><p>She giggles. "Oh, but I won't tell her. I'm not that kind of girl." </p><p>Her hand starts moving higher and higher, to the point where I don't want to endure it anymore, not even for the sake of playing her game. </p><p>I grab her hand to stop it from grabbing me where I don't want it. "And I'm not that kind of guy." </p><p>She smiles, but I can see a hint of surprise in her face. Maybe she isn't used to being rejected like this. It makes me feel a little bad, to be honest.</p><p>I lean closer to her ear to whisper something to her. I hope this will make her feel better, even if just a bit. "If you really want to know, Edelgard doesn't like me because I stole her boyfriend from her." </p><p>She pulls away from me with her mouth agape and eyes huge. "You didn't." </p><p>"I did." </p><p>She shakes her head. "No, no you didn't." </p><p>"I did." </p><p>"Oh my god, you dog!" She gently slaps my shoulder. "Now I understand why she looked so hostile when you brought him up! I can't believe it." She leans closer to me again to whisper something back to me. </p><p>I honestly can't believe I made myself a girlfriend here. She's a worse gossiper than Hilda. </p><p>"So you and Dimitri, huh? I never expected that from Dimitri, of all people. Oh my god, Edie must be furious! No wonder she hates your guts!" </p><p>"Yup, that's right. I didn't expect it from Dimitri either. He told me he only used Edelgard as a cover for his real sexuality." </p><p>She makes one of the strangest noises I've ever heard as she excitedly jumps up and down in her chair. </p><p>"Oh my god, oh my god! Does Edie know he never loved her? This is so good! It's like one of the novels I've read once. You should totally write down your lovelife. I bet you'd have so many readers!" </p><p>"I-" I do not want to write down my love life. I'm also not going to tell her that Dima isn't my only boyfriend. "I don't think I'd want to do that. It's not as dramatic as it sounds." </p><p>"Shut up!" She slaps my arm again and rests her hand on it. "Of course it's dramatic! Edie was always really private about her relationship, but you could share some juicy details about the prince of the monastery instead! Tell me, is he as romantic as he seems? Is he a gentleman, or perhaps he's super dominant?" She gasps. "Is he a good kisser?!" </p><p>I blink a few times. What the fuck? I don't even want to tell her that! </p><p>"He's great." There, that'll suffice. </p><p>"You're such a dog!" She exclaims. The hand on my arm squeezes and it kinda hurts. "Anyway, tell me about how you two got together, I need to know!" </p><p>Is this how I can get Dorothea on my side? Because if I can prevent her from siding with Edelgard, I'll tell her absolutely anything she wants to know. </p><p>"Wow, Dorothea, calm your tits." </p><p>"Stay out of this, Caspar. This is an adult-only conversation."</p><p>"You're not even an adult yourself!"</p><p>They start bickering and I'm honestly relieved that Dorothea's attention isn't on me anymore. I glance around the dining hall once to check on my surroundings, which allows me to see Dimitri standing in the door opening. </p><p>"I'll be right back," I tell no one in particular. </p><p>This could be a good time to have a talk with Dimitri. He was acting weird before, so hopefully he'll tell me what's bothering him now. </p><p>He notices me approaching him, but doesn't make a move to meet me in the middle. Seems he's still acting weird, even now.</p><p>Fine then, I wanted to talk outside anyway. </p><p>I join him in the doorway before I gently push his chest to get him behind the wall. </p><p>As I'm pushing him backwards, I can see his eye glance downwards. I follow his gaze, and my eyes land on his hands, which he's clenching together tightly. </p><p>I notice they're trembling severely, but that isn't the only thing that catches my attention. </p><p>"...Dima. Why is there blood on your hands..?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>SOo here's a chapter dedicated to dima I guess </p><p>He deserves more spotlights in his pretty one-eyed face</p><p>Hope you enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's all that blood on your hands, Dima? Are you hurt?" </p><p>Oh my god, this is not happening. I let him do one thing on his own, and now look.</p><p>He shakes his head in denial. </p><p>"Then, don't tell me that's…" </p><p>He knows exactly what I mean. He can't even look me in the eyes. </p><p>He doesn't give me a response either. </p><p>"Dimitri, what have you done?" I'm trying so hard not to raise my voice right now. </p><p>Perhaps I'm partly to blame for this outcome. I knew Dimitri is emotionally unstable, yet I allowed him to go see Edelgard all by himself. Edelgard, the woman who is literally the cause of a great deal of his suffering.</p><p>What was I thinking? I'm so stupid.</p><p>I run a hand through my hair. </p><p>"Please don't be angry…" It's barely a whisper, but I hear it clearly. </p><p>Don't get angry, Claude. This is your fault too. Just take a deep breath, just calm down. </p><p>"I- Look, I'm not angry. Just tell me what happened, okay?" </p><p>He looks around warily before his gaze rests on his hands once more. </p><p>"Dima?" </p><p>He takes a deep breath to collect himself, but still doesn't open his mouth to talk. I'm starting to lose my patience here, but I can't show him that. The last thing either of us needs right now is for me to flip my lid. </p><p>I hesitate for a moment, but then I lay my own hand on top of his. "You can tell me." </p><p>He bites his lip. "I-I'm sorry. I just- I messed up, Claude. I just got so furious, my vision went black and I couldn't even see anymore..." </p><p>He takes another deep breath and turns his head to the other side. His breathing is harsh and his hands won't stop trembling. </p><p>I'm literally fearing the worst. </p><p>"Dima, did you… kill Edelgard..?" </p><p>He flinches from my words, but shakes his head. </p><p>"Thank god. Holy shit, Dimitri you scared me so bad." I'm genuinely relieved right now. </p><p>Who knows what might happen to Edelgard if she dies? She said she won't turn into any monster as long as she doesn't get in contact with the magic, but she can't actually prove that. </p><p>He doesn't say anything to that, but he looks a bit pained. </p><p>He's really acting weird. I get the feeling that it's Edelgard's presence that's causing him to act like this. It doesn't have anything to do with Yuri at all. </p><p>I'm glad about that, but Dima needs to get his act together. Although, if it comes down to it, I'm on Dima's side all the way. No matter what went on between them in that room, I'm with Dima. </p><p>That's why I need him to tell me just what happened in there. He didn't deny that it's blood on his hands, and he's not hurt. That means he definitely hurt Edelgard in some way. </p><p>I rest my hand on his jaw so I can force him to look into my eyes. "It's okay, Dima. Talk to me." </p><p>He hesitates for a second before he starts explaining. "I went to the room you had told me about, and Edelgard was in there. She was really surprised to see me, but she was… glad, I think. She asked how I was and what happened to my eye, but I didn't answer her. As soon as I saw her face, I got so angry. I could barely control my anger, but then I remembered your words. That it would help me to hear her reasons, so I told her to explain herself, which she did. For a moment, I believed her, but I know what kind of person she truly is. So I got angry with her once more, and this time, I couldn't control myself. I hurt her, so badly, and it still didn't feel like it was enough. I almost killed her, Claude. It was so close…" </p><p>So Edelgard is out of order for now. This is actually pretty convenient. </p><p>I nod and show him a smile to urge him to continue. Just show him that he's safe with me, and that I'm on his side. He needs it. </p><p>He takes a trembling breath before he continues. "She said that Hubert betrayed her, but I don't believe that. There's absolutely no way that Hubert would ever turn his back on her. That's why I think Hubert knew her location and that they were still working together from there. So I moved her. I hid her in a different place where I tied her up, making sure she won't be able to get out anymore. Please, don't be mad. I just lost myself, I-" </p><p>Instead of letting him finish his plea for forgiveness, I pull his head close to me in a hug. "It's okay. I'm not mad, Dima. You should know I'm on your side, no matter what. It was my own fault for not realizing how much this could have impacted your feelings. I forgive you, so please, forgive me too," I whisper. </p><p>"Of course I forgive you, Claude. You did nothing wrong. You're much too kind to a monster like me. I really don't deserve you." </p><p>I gently shush him. "Don't say things like that. You're so strong, baby. Don't be hard on yourself." </p><p>His arms wrap around my middle. "I really miss spending time with you. I want you to be just mine again, Claude," he admits. </p><p>Ah, here it is. So Dimitri wasn't really okay with our relationship after all. I already found it hard to believe, and now he verbally confirms it. </p><p>I don't really know what to say to him now. I don't want to hurt his feelings and reject him, but I can't give up my relationship with Yuri. </p><p>Or am I being selfish again? I can't force Dimitri to stay in this relationship with us, but I don't want to lose him. </p><p>"Won't you just be mine again..?" He asks. </p><p>Well, shit. "I won't answer that, Dima. You know I have feelings for Yuri. I can't just let go of him…" </p><p>He shakes his head. "I don't think I can keep taking this, Claude. It hurts, every time you even look at him. The thought of you kissing and hugging him the same way you do with me just… It just hurts, so much. I don't want to keep going like this." </p><p>Ah, fuck. This really isn't good. I don't have time to deal with this right now. There's still too much stuff to take care of before I can even think of fixing my personal problems. </p><p>"Dima…" I have no idea what to say right now. My shirt is getting wet once more, obviously from Dimitri's tears. </p><p>I don't want to hurt him. </p><p>"Please, Claude. I know what I'm asking is a lot, but… weren't we happy together? Back then, in the river, weren't we perfect? I miss that. I don't want to share you anymore." </p><p>That hurts me right in the feelings. Of course we were happy back then, just the two of us. We were perfect. But that was before Dimitri betrayed me. Before he did literally the same thing he did to Edelgard just now. He hurt me, both emotionally and physically. </p><p>Yuri protected me, comforted me, supported me after all that. Yuri was there with me, and for me. He helped me get back on my feet, when I couldn't even bare to look at Dimitri. </p><p>I can't forget all that. </p><p>"I can't do that, Dima. I need you, both of you. You both make me happy. I can't choose between the two of you, I'm sorry. I won't ask you to stay with me and Yuri against your will, so if this means the end of us, then… I suppose that's it." </p><p>For a while, he stays quiet. I'm not sure what to expect from him now, because Dimitri can be quite unpredictable when he's emotional. I honestly didn't see this outburst coming either. </p><p>But I couldn't lie to him either, so I didn't. Doesn't mean it was easy for me to say it though. I want both Dimitri and Yuri as close to me as possible. I hate that I might lose Dimitri like this. Should I just try to convince him to stay with me and endure his feelings? But that would be too selfish to do. </p><p>I think I said the right thing. Now it'll be up to him to decide what he wants to do. </p><p>"What if Yuri's gone? If he's out of the picture, you can't be with him anymore. Then you'll be mine again, right?" </p><p>Hold on a second. What the hell is he saying? If Yuri's gone..? </p><p>My heartbeat picks up. He's not actually serious right? He doesn't really want to kill Yuri. He knows Yuri makes me happy, so he wouldn't. </p><p>But why am I still feeling so scared right now?</p><p>Wait. When Dimitri attacked me, he strangled me and threw me around. If he did that to Edelgard, then she didn't bleed. Not this much, anyway. That means the blood on Dimitri's hands isn't Edelgard's. </p><p>Is it Yuri's blood? </p><p>"Did you do something to Yuri..? Tell me that's not true, Dima. Tell me you didn't hurt Yuri." </p><p>He stays silent. </p><p>"Dimitri, answer me. Did you attack Yuri?" </p><p>Still no answer. </p><p>I unwrap his arms from my middle and the first thing I lay my eyes on is the blood that's dried up on his hands. Possibly Yuri's blood. </p><p>"Dimitri. Say something." </p><p>His head is hanging, preventing me from looking into his eye. He doesn't look at me, he doesn't say anything. He's just standing there, completely still. </p><p>Every passing second feeds my anxiety. I hate that I'm not confident enough to be sure of Dimitri's innocence. And his odd behavior really isn't working in his favor right now. </p><p>I don't know what to think anymore. All signs indicate that Dimitri hurt Yuri somehow, but my heart doesn't want to believe it. My heart won't be able to take it if he really did. </p><p>"Please, say something. Anything. Dima, please, I'm begging you. Just tell me you didn't hurt Yuri. Please." </p><p>Just a confirmation. Just one word to ease my fears. </p><p>If Yuri is really… </p><p>No, I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I would not be okay anymore. If Dimitri really hurt Yuri, I don't want to be with Dimitri anymore either. I won't be his, never again. </p><p>How could he do something like this, right after I already lost Lorenz? This is just too much. This is too much for me. </p><p>"Dima…" I can't hide the lump in my throat. It makes my voice hoarse and ugly. </p><p>After what seems to have been a lifetime passes, Dimitri finally looks me in the eyes. </p><p>It's not my Dima that's looking at me, I can see that much. This is the dark look of the monster that almost killed me in Remire. The same monster who trampled over and crushed my heart. </p><p>"...I'm not even sorry," is what comes out of his mouth. "He deserved it." </p><p>And like that, whatever's left of me shatters into a million pieces. Tears burn in my eyes, making my vision blurry. The lump in my throat becomes incredibly painful, but I need to let out my emotions.</p><p>"You fucking monster! What the hell is wrong with you?! How could you… How could you do that?! You murderer!" I scream at him. </p><p>I can't even look at him right now. He's a real monster. He really doesn't deserve me. I'll never forgive him for this. Never. </p><p>Hot tears are running over my cheeks freely and I start sobbing like a fucking child. Everything keeps getting messed up. Everything. </p><p>"Get away from me. I don't want to talk to you ever again!" </p><p>I want to run away. I want to get out of here and disappear. I want to leave and never return. </p><p>He grabs me by my arm right as I turn around to try and walk away. He pushes me against the rough wall, which scrapes the skin off my back and elbows. </p><p>"I don't think you mean that," he tells me with a low voice. </p><p>It sends chills up my spine. This isn't Dima. This isn't Dimitri Blayddid. I have no idea who this is, but this isn't my lover. </p><p>This is a murderous psychopath.</p><p>I'm terrified right now. Is he going to repeat what happened last time? Is he going to try and kill me again? I'm too scared to resist anything he does to me. </p><p>Even when he grabs both my arms and holds them above my head, I don't resist. Even as I feel his free hand move under my shirt, over my bare stomach, I let him. </p><p>He'll kill me if I struggle, I know that much.</p><p>Despite my newly developing emotional trauma and the fear of this man hovering over me, my body still responds to his touch. The ultimate betrayal. </p><p>"See, you want this. Don't act so tough when you're this desperate for me." </p><p>He kisses my neck and licks over the skin. It feels disgusting, but Dimitri's body scent confuses my brain. I don't like this, but at the same time I do, because it's still Dima, even though it isn't.</p><p>"I'm not desperate for you," I tell him with gritted teeth. "Give me back my Dima, you fucking psycho." </p><p>He chuckles. "Ah, so you noticed, eh? That's right, I'm not your Dima. Your Dima is sleeping right now. But that's your fault. You keep making him suffer. And when it all becomes too much for your Dima to handle, I get to take over for him. At least I know how to properly take care of problems, unlike that wimp." </p><p>Right after he's done with talking, he bites down hard on my skin in the spot where my neck crosses over into shoulder. </p><p>I clench my jaws together. Fuck, that hurts. I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding.</p><p>He lets go and licks over the sore spot, cleaning the wound he just created with his tongue. </p><p>"You're lucky I sated my anger before I came to find you. Now I feel good enough have some fun with you. Dimitri won't be happy with it, but it's not like he could stop me. He's much too weak. Way too innocent, even now." </p><p>I'm so confused. This obviously isn't Dimitri, but then who is it? Because it's definitely Dimitri's body. His scent, his looks, it's still comforting to me, despite the situation. </p><p>Could it be that sick transformation magic that Solon used too? But that doesn't make sense. They weren't around in Remire Village back then. </p><p>Then something must be wrong with Dimitri mentally. Does he have two different people living inside of his body or something? I should have paid more attention. I can't deny that he's shown signs before.</p><p>This psycho said Dimitri is sleeping right now. But what could that mean? Do they have seperate bodies? Or is Dimitri just not conscious? </p><p>"Who the fuck are you if you're not Dima?" </p><p>"I'm Your Majesty," he whispers in my ear as he pushes my body against the wall again. </p><p>My head bumps against the bricks from the force. I try to squirm out of his tight hold on my wrists, but it doesn't even do much. His hands are too large to lose their grip. </p><p>"Don't struggle," he growls. </p><p>Fuck, this guy is just too strong. Does his personality change increase his strength or something? Or perhaps it's the lack of carefulness. 'Your Majesty' just isn't scared of hurting me, since he doesn't care. </p><p>This is getting dangerous. If I don't escape his hold now, I don't know how far he'll go.</p><p>"Give me Dima back!" I headbutt him in his chin, which gives me some space to get off the wall. </p><p>My wrists are still held together, but now I can at least move a bit more freely than before. Freely enough to knee him in the balls. </p><p>The shock of pain causes him to finally let go of me in favor of grabbing his crotch. </p><p>"You mutt..!" </p><p>I don't waste a second before I start running. If he catches me again, I'm sure it won't end well for me. I need to find someone who can stop this psycho. I need help, but from who? </p><p>Who could possibly do something for me right now? </p><p>I need to somehow get back into the dining hall. I don't know many people who could take Dimitri down in a fight, much less His Majesty here. If even Yuri couldn't keep him at bay... Then probably no one but Byleth could stop him from killing me. </p><p>I look back once to see what His Majesty is up to, but seems I kneed him pretty hard. He's not fast enough to keep up with me, which I'm extremely happy about. </p><p>Can't Dima come back? Can't Dima take over again? Or however that even works.</p><p>From the seems of it, His Majesty is some kind of 'guardian' of Dimitri's feelings, maybe. He said that he takes over to take care of Dimitri's problems. </p><p>Am I one of Dimitri's problems, then? </p><p>I just can't wrap my head around what's going on here. Does Sylvain know about this side of Dimitri? Do his other friends know? And what about his parents? </p><p>Maybe his parents were the cause for His Majesty's appearance in the first place.</p><p>Dimitri never knew how to deal with his problems, so he pushed them far away from him, pretending they weren't there. Surely it would have been convenient for Dimitri to have someone to solve all of his problems for him. </p><p>I wish Dimitri would have told me. I could have understood him better. I might have been able to help him somehow. </p><p>But now it's come to this, and the damage has already been done. Dimitri's other consciousness killed Yuri. </p><p>Yuri is dead, because of my greed. Because of my selfishness, Dimitri went after Yuri. Because I keep messing up everything I get involved in. </p><p>I'm such a fuck-up, honestly. </p><p>I somehow managed to lose His Majesty while I was running, so I'm now heading back to the dining hall. I need Byleth with me to protect me, and lunchtime should be over soon. That means my friends will return from their families soon to help me again. </p><p>But what do I do about Dimitri now? It wasn't him who hurt Yuri, but His Majesty. It wouldn't be fair of me to judge Dimitri for something he technically didn't do. Yet, I still don't think I could forgive him. </p><p>Not this time. </p><p>He can hurt me all he wants, I can heal from that. But he hurt a loved one this time. He took someone I care about, and I'll never recover from this kind of pain. </p><p>I slowly walk back into the dining hall, searching for the table Byleth and the Eagles were settled at. </p><p>Unconsciously, I also scan the space in search for His Majesty. I don't want to encounter him again anytime soon. </p><p>Good thing he's nowhere to be seen, and the others are still seated at the table I left them at. </p><p>I'm so ready to be done with this whole shit, honestly. If only I could solve this mess as easily as I did with Flayn back then. I could just stab both Seteth and Rhea and leave for good. </p><p>But this is a tad more complicated than that. And I didn't even find out where Dimitri put Edelgard now. </p><p>"Oh, there you are," Dorothea tells me as soon as I retake my seat next to hers. "We were getting worried about you, since you were away for so long." </p><p>"Ah, sorry about that. I didn't think I'd be gone for so long either. Looks like lunchtime is almost over." </p><p>She looks around before she nods. "Yeah, I think the kitchen staff will start cleaning tables soon. Want to help them?" </p><p>Help them clean all these tables? No thanks, I have better things to do.</p><p>"I think I'll pass this time. I have other things to take care of." I suppose this is how Dorothea managed to get her good reputation then. </p><p>"Oh, I see. I was hoping we could spend some more time together. You know, to talk." She wiggles her eyebrows at me. </p><p>I'm so not in the mood for this right now. I really need to get Byleth and Ferdinand out of here to discuss a plan with them. Byleth especially needs to know about what His Majesty just told me. Hopefully he can help me a little. </p><p>"Sounds like fun, too bad I can't make it. Maybe next time." I hope that's enough to cut this conversation short. If Dorothea is much like Hilda, she won't let a conversation die on that, despite how obvious it is that I want to stop talking. </p><p>"Oh, sure. I'm looking forward to it." </p><p>She actually stops talking. Looks like she can pick up hints. I appreciate that a lot. </p><p>"Teach, Ferdinand, can you come outside with me? The others should be here soon." </p><p>Byleth was just busy finishing up what looks to be his fourth plate of fish stew. He's still busy chewing as he nods at me. </p><p>"Of course! Please excuse us, everyone," Ferdinand states as he stands up from his seat. </p><p>The three of us walk out the same entrance we used to get in and that's where we decide to wait for the others. </p><p>"I just met with ...Dimitri," I start cautiously. I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to explain everything I just found out. </p><p>"Dimitri? Ah, he's not here. Did he leave again?" Ferdinand looks around in an attempt to see if Dimitri's still around. </p><p>"Yeah. Uhm… Dimitri wasn't exactly himself. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to explain it, since I can hardly believe it myself, but Dimitri is… Something's wrong in his head." </p><p>I receive one confused look and one look that tells me the owner wants to have a fifth plate of food. I decide to answer the confused looking one. </p><p>"It's like Dimitri is two people at once. He's usually himself, but sometimes... a different person inside of Dimitri comes out. He just becomes a person who's incredibly angry and aggressive." </p><p>I know I'm stalling here. I have to get out the truth about Yuri, but I can't say it out loud. My throat starts to feel tight again just at the thought of what Dimitri, no, His Highness did to him.</p><p>"I'm pretty sure I once read something about that!" Ferdinand suddenly announces. "I believe it was called multiple personality disorder. It basically means that one person has more than one personality, which are called alter egos. I found it incredibly interesting, but also really bizarre. I never thought someone who suffers from it lives right here in this monastery!" </p><p>...Multiple personality disorder? So it is actually a thing? </p><p>"That's… incredibly comforting to hear, actually." I can't even explain why, but it just is. Just the knowledge that there is something going on with Dimitri and that he isn't just pretending to be a cold-blooded killer helps a lot. </p><p>"Do you maybe have some more information about that disorder?" I want to know everything there is to know about this. I need to know if Dimitri is still responsible for what happened to Yuri. </p><p>"Let me see, I don't remember every detail specifically, but I think there are a few more things I can recall. One thing was that a person can develop the disorder because of unresolved trauma. It's some kind of coping system if you think about it. The alter ego deals with the trauma so that the main personality doesn't have to suffer from it anymore." </p><p>Just what I thought. </p><p>"Does the main personality know what the alter egos are up to?" </p><p>Ferdinand furrows his eyebrows. "I believe not. If I remember correctly, it said that when an alter ego takes over, the main personality is unconscious. The main personality, when it returns, does have a time gap in its day from when it wasn't conscious. Or it has random blackouts because an alter ego takes over. But it doesn't have any memory from what the alter ego has done when it comes back." </p><p>The more I hear about this disorder, the uneasier I'm feeling. Ferdinand said alter egos, so that means there can be more than just one alter ego aside from the main personality. </p><p>How many of Dimitri's alter egos have I been with? Was Dimitri ever his real self around me? Who the fuck is Dimitri? </p><p>"You're looking awfully pale, friend. Is everything alright?" Ferdinand stretches out an arm to feel my forehead. "Hm, you don't have a fever." </p><p>No, everything is not alright. Everything is very wrong. Dimitri never told me about gaps in his day. He never mentioned blackouts. </p><p>"Teach." Byleth looks at me. "I think one of Dimitris alter egos killed Yuri." </p><p>"Who's… Yuri..?" Ferdinand hesitantly asks. </p><p>I'm glad he's asking Teach and not me. I don't think I'm able to speak right now. My eyes start to water again. </p><p>"Are you sure?" Byleth asks me. He gestures to Ferdinand that now is not the time to explain. </p><p>Ferdinand nods before he puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. </p><p>"I- Well, I didn't see it happen. Just… Dimitri had blood on his hands and later he admitted to it. I don't know either, because it wasn't Dimitri and I got so scared and confused and mad with what was going on." </p><p>Byleth nods. "So it's not yet certain that Yuri really is dead. He might be hurt though, so let's hurry and find him. Ferdinand can stay here and explain to the others when they return." </p><p>I nod as I wipe at my eyes. I'm glad Byleth always has a clear head. I just assumed Dimitri, or actually, His Highness was speaking the truth, so it never occurred to me that Yuri might not really be dead. </p><p>"Come on, let's start searching," Byleth says as he takes a gentle hold on my wrist. </p><p>"Uhm, sorry, but what do I tell them?" Ferdinand asks. "They might not see me as their ally." </p><p>"Just-" I take a deep breath to calm my trembling voice a little. "Explain to them as best as you can. I don't think they'll give you a hard time. If you see Dimitri, please run away and hide from him. I don't know in what state of mind he is right now, so don't risk it." </p><p>Ferdinand nods. "Alright, Claude. You can count on me! I hope your friend is alright." </p><p>I hope Yuri is alright too. I'm holding on to the tiniest bit of hope that Dimitri didn't kill him, which will probably hurt me even worse if it turns out Yuri didn't survive. </p><p>"Let's go, Claude. We don't have time to waste." </p><p>I follow after Byleth. I'm so glad he's back to taking the lead again. </p><p>At least I don't have anything else to think about other than my hope for Yuris wellbeing. </p><p>Please, please let him be okay. I really don't know what I'd do if he isn't.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>SO I NEVER SAID IT'D BE A HAPPY CHAPPY DEDICATED TO OUR PRINCE </p><p>Angsty is what I live for hehehehe</p><p>((Btw multiple personality disorder is a thing, but i suppose my information isn't remotely accurate to the real thing so pls don't see it as facts))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't even know what I'm writing anymore HAHAHA good news is that I have stopped stalling and we're currently FINALLY getting to the end </p><p>I gotta admit that I kept adding drama and other stuff just to postpone the grand ending of my first fic, but I've made peace with it </p><p>Hope you're still enjoying it tho!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth and I are currently rushing through the hallways in an attempt to find a wounded Yuri somewhere. If only I just had a gist of where he could be.</p><p>"Did Dimitri use a weapon?" Byleth asks me suddenly. </p><p>Did he? "I'm not sure. He wasn't carrying one when I saw him, but with his strength, he could badly injure someone with a stuffed animal." </p><p>"I see." </p><p>Although a stuffed animal wouldn't make someone bleed that much. </p><p>It's a terrible thought, but I'm really hoping there was some of Edelgard's blood on Dimitri's hands too. No, scratch that. I'm hoping there was a lot of Edelgard's blood on his hands. </p><p>How could he have done such a thing? I just can't wrap my head around Dimitri's whole mental situation. It was good to hear that Ferdinand actually knew what it was, but now what do I do? </p><p>Just having the knowledge won't change anything. Dimitri still has another person inside of him, and that person still hurt Yuri. I know for a fact that Dimitri himself would never do that, but how do I cope with the idea that a psychopath could make an appearance at any given time? </p><p>Does he appear at any given time? His Majesty said that he only appears when Dimitri is suffering. That kinda makes sense, since the first time Dimitri lost control was back in the forest, when I told him about Edelgard. </p><p>The second time was when I was fighting that infected and losing. Still a humiliating memory, I must say. But he did it to protect me. </p><p>So Dimitri felt either really hostile towards Yuri, or he wanted to protect me. </p><p>But it's hard to grasp the idea of Dimitri hating Yuri so much. Did they have a fight or something? I did sense some friction between them earlier, but I didn't think it was so bad that it could lead to this outcome. </p><p>So, was he trying to protect me then? From Yuri? </p><p>No, that makes even less sense. He must have had some sort of other motive. If only he'd given me more information, other than that 'he deserved it'.</p><p>I suddenly have a great idea. I turn to Byleth. "Should we check out the infirmary? Maybe someone found him and brought him there." </p><p>He nods. "Let's hope so." </p><p>I really do hope so. If he'll just be alive, that's all I need. Screw Dimitri's mental state, if only Yuri is okay. Dimitri will be fine without me. He has His overprotective Majesty to take care of him after all. </p><p>But Yuri doesn't. Yuri only has me. He doesn't have any parents to take care of him, just like myself. He has taken a huge responsibility on him to lead his people and keep them safe, just like I did. We need each other. </p><p>I need Yuri. His experience, his brutal honesty, his weird humor, his lips, his warmth. Him. All of him. </p><p>"This way," I tell Byleth before we make the last turn. </p><p>I doubt I needed to tell him though, he seems to still know his way around the monastery perfectly. I guess he still has a clear memory, despite being unconscious for nearly a hundred years. </p><p>We come to a halt in front of the infirmary's entrance. My heart is beating incredibly fast. Please let Yuri be here. Please. </p><p>I take a deep breath before I look at Byleth. He nods encouragingly. Well, he just nods, but I take it as an encouragement. </p><p>I lay my hand on the handle and swing the door open in one fluent motion. </p><p>At first glance, relief fills all of my senses. Yuri's here, sitting in a bed. A bandage is wrapped around his head, a bloodstain still leaking through. But he seems fine.</p><p>Fine enough to be kissing and touching up the red-haired girl that was with him before, anyway. She's literally sitting on top of him and I'm certain I'll never forget this image.</p><p>"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I mutter under my breath. </p><p>With a quick motion, Yuri pushes the girl off his face and looks at Byleth and myself, who are both standing completely dumbfounded in the door opening.</p><p>His eyes grow twice as wide as they usually are, and if it were literally any other situation than this, I would have laughed at the sight.</p><p>"Shit. Claude, listen, she-" </p><p>I'm not even remotely interested in hearing what he has to say. All pieces finally fall into place now. </p><p>I turn around and storm away from the infirmary. I'm pretty sure I noticed Linhardt in the bed beside Yuri, but I just don't care right now. </p><p>Yuri betrayed me. I don't know why I ever even thought I could trust that rat. From the first time we spoke, he lied to me, hid things from me and played games with me. </p><p>Of course he wouldn't be faithful. </p><p>Dimitri must have seen him and attacked him in a rage fit. Dimitri did have a reason to attack Yuri. He was trying to protect my feelings. </p><p>And I shoved him aside without a second thought. All I cared about was Yuri's wellbeing, without even trying to understand Dimitri.</p><p>When I feel like I'm far away enough from the infirmary, I stop walking. I lean my back against the wall that's closest to me and slide down to the floor. </p><p>I cried for him. I cried because I was scared I'd lose him. I got furious at Dimitri. I favored Yuri over him. I chose a rat over a prince. </p><p>I have got to be the unluckiest idiot to have ever been born. Why does nothing ever go right? Why can't I ever make the right decision? Am I really that incapable? That stupid? Am I simply the goddess' most unfavored child? </p><p>It's not fair. It's just not fair. All I try to do is the right thing, so why? Why does everyone and everything turn against me? </p><p>Does anything I do even make a difference? The only differences I seem to make only turn out for the worst. Maybe I should become a villain. If I can't do anything right, I'll just do everything wrong.</p><p>Maybe if I fuck up being the bad guy enough, I'll actually become the hero after all. </p><p>I'm not sure how long I'm sitting on the floor like this. My head is resting on my knees and I just wish my eyes would produce tears, but I can't cry anymore. I'm just feeling empty right now. </p><p>Empty and completely filled with regrets. </p><p>How did a stupid graduation test become such a mess? I had everything under control, so why did it turn out this way? Where did I even go wrong? Was it when I followed after Edelgard before going to find the Blue Lions? Was it when we split up before encountering Byleth? </p><p>Or was it the exact moment I decided I would be the one to fix everything? How could I feel so entitled, so confident, when I'm nothing more than a failure? </p><p>I hear slow footsteps approach me. The first thought that pops up is Yuri, but if he thinks he can just come here and give me a bullshit story, he's got another head wound coming. And this one will be fatal.</p><p>"Go away." I don't even know who I'm telling this to, but I hope they can read a damn situation here.</p><p>"Claude? What are you doing here on the floor?" A hand rests on my head and gently scratches my scalp. </p><p>Just hearing Lysithea's soft voice makes my eyes finally tear up. </p><p>"Just chilling." There's no way she didn't hear the crack in my voice. </p><p>She drops down next to me, now rubbing my shoulder in a comforting way. "Ferdinand tried to tell all of us what was going on. I didn't really understand a lot of it, but is… is Yuri okay?" </p><p>Just hearing that name makes me flinch. "Yeah. Unfortunately." </p><p>Her hand stops moving for a second before it continues. "Unfortunately?" </p><p>Instead of elaborating, I shrug. It hurts too much to verbally admit that Yuri cheated on me. Even though the whole world should know just what kind of filthy dog he is. </p><p>She stays quiet for a moment. I'm sure even she doesn't know what to say to me right now. I appreciate her being here though. </p><p>"Were you going to see Linhardt?" </p><p>"Yes," she answers. "Raphael and I put him in the infirmary before we went to see our families. Professor Manuela said she'd take care of his legs." </p><p>She sounds relieved to be talking about a different subject. I guess I shouldn't confide in her then. She has her own problems anyway. </p><p>"That's great." </p><p>"Yes, it is." </p><p>Neither of us continue the conversation, leaving the hallway completely silent. My nose is runny but I don't want her to hear I'm still crying. I'm already glad she can't see my face right now. </p><p>Fuck, I'm such a mess. </p><p>Should I ask about Linhardt's condition? I saw the blood on his legs before, but I don't know what happened. But on the other hand, I don't want to pretend I care. </p><p>I'm the one currently suffering. I need comfort. Not her, not Linhardt. </p><p>"Uhm, is it okay if I go?" She asks all of a sudden. "I don't want to leave you like this, but-" </p><p>"Yeah. See ya." </p><p>She lingers for a second before she gets up. Without another word, she leaves me in favor of checking on an unconscious person. </p><p>Whatever. </p><p>It's not like she's the first person who left me in favor of being with someone else. You'd think I'd be used to the feeling of betrayal by now. </p><p>Maybe I should start betraying everyone too, since it's obviously a fun thing to do. </p><p>On that note, would Rhea accept help from me?</p><p>If I helped her, perhaps she'd let me go. Just myself. The others will be fine, they have Byleth anyway. </p><p>She'd be stupid not to accept my help. I know my people, I know who she needs to be wary of. I know what they're capable of and I know they have no idea what to do. Not without me, anyway. </p><p>Oh! Perhaps I could play them all out against each other without having to lift a finger myself. </p><p>Let's see what I've got to work with here…</p><p>There's my own people. I'll just call them the Traitors. Then there's Rhea and Seteth, our Archenemies. We have Edelgard and her Eagles, and last but not least, the inhabitants of the monastery. </p><p>First of all, I need to raise awareness among the inhabitants. If they can just understand what's going on here, they'll start rebelling themselves. </p><p>But I need evidence for that. Perhaps if I... </p><p>Right, Edelgard. It's a good thing she's currently useless, thanks to Dimitri. I need her to die, so I can infuse her body with the magic spell. She'll turn into a hideous monster in front of everyone. No one will be able to deny what they're seeing with their own eyes.</p><p>And Dimitri is the only one who knows where she is. Since I got Dimitri in the palm of my hand, he'll tell me where she is in a heartbeat. </p><p>Perfect. </p><p>I'll go to Rhea and ask her to accept my help. I'll tell her I'll help her get rid of Edelgard and turn her into the monster the Archenemies want her to become. Rhea would never refuse an opportunity like that. </p><p>I won't be telling any of my Traitors about this though. I'm not going to give them a chance to ruin this for me again. </p><p>Because in the end, that's where I went wrong. I did everything perfectly, but my people are just useless. They fucked up every single one of my ideas. I put my faith in them, and they failed to execute my plans properly. Hurting me even while doing it. </p><p>I'm not trusting them anymore. Fuck that. </p><p>I'll fix this on my own. I never told anyone I was going after Flayn either, and that went great. </p><p>So when the inhabitants see what Rhea has been up to, I'm sure they'll start to riot. Then during the chaos, I'll go and find Rhea myself and warn her for what's going on outside. She'll want to keep up her act of being the savior, so she'll come out and take down Edelgard. </p><p>After she did just that, I'm going to need Byleth to kill Rhea. </p><p>I'll consider anyone who loses their life collateral damage. It's inevitable anyway. </p><p>That leaves two more enemies to take into account; Seteth and Hubert. </p><p>I'll have my Traitors take care of Hubert. He can't take on that many people at once. And I'll leave Seteth to Byleth as well. </p><p>Actually, I think I'm just going to ditch everyone right after I lured out Rhea. No one will notice me leaving if they're all busy fighting. </p><p>I hope for my Traitors that they'll come out victorious. If they don't, then everything would have been for nothing. </p><p>Surely they'll realize that. But whatever they do, it's got nothing to do with me anymore. </p><p>I'm laying out their path for them, it's up to them if they walk it or trip on it. </p><p>Well now, first things first! I'll find Dimitri and have him tell me where Edelgard is. </p><p>I struggle a bit with standing up, since I've been sitting in such a cramped position for so long. My joints ache as I make the first steps towards the stairs. </p><p>Damn, I really didn't keep track of time. As I walk through the hallway, an orange-colored hue coming through the windows is covering the walls, indicating that the sun has started to set. </p><p>For fuck's sake. </p><p>I suppose for now, I could call it a day. I know where Dimitri's bedroom is anyway, so I'll visit him tomorrow to ask him about Edelgard's whereabouts.</p><p>Dimitri… How will I act when I see him again? </p><p>Or rather, how will he act when he sees me again? Will it be my Dima? Or someone else? </p><p>Should I apologize? Should he apologize? </p><p>I told him I never wanted to see him again. But that was an obvious lie. I regret saying that to him, especially now that I know why he attacked Yuri. But do I actually want to make up with him? </p><p>I don't even know if I ever want to be in a relationship again. Not with Dimitri, and definitely not with Yuri. </p><p>Man, I hope Yuri's head hurts. I think expecting him to be hurting emotionally is probably too much to ask. So I'd like for his head to hurt, badly. </p><p>At least the bloodstain on the bandage was pretty big. Dima did good. </p><p>But the worst thing of that whole ordeal is Yuri didn't even learn from that attack. He didn't break things off with that girl, even after Dimitri nearly killed him for it. </p><p>Fuck Yuri. Fuck that girl. I hope they become very unhappy together. I don't even care if I'm being petty right now.</p><p>At the end of the hallway, I can see professor Hanneman heading towards me. </p><p>It's been so long since I've seen him. Should I say something? But I don't want to draw attention. </p><p>I'll just pass him by. There's a chance he doesn't even recognize me.</p><p>"Good evening," he greets politely. </p><p>I nod and smile at him as I pass him by. Seeing this man really brings back memories of my academy days. It wasn't even that long ago, but with everything that's happened, it just seems like it's been ages since I followed his class. </p><p>How nice would it be if this all turned out be a nightmare after all? I woke up this morning feeling like a trainwreck from thinking I just had a bad dream, but now I'm wishing it was. </p><p>No Dimitri, no Yuri, no weird experiments, no deaths, no evil mages. Just a safe place called the monastery and a dangerous place called outside. </p><p>Life was so simple back then. Back when my only responsibilities were cleaning the kitchen and attending classes. Back when I didn't have friends, and didn't want any either. Back when I was fine with being alone. </p><p>But that's all gone now. I'll just have to learn to be by myself again. I'm sure I'll be okay after some time. </p><p>I'm only seventeen years old anyway. I still have my whole life ahead of me to get used to being alone. </p><p>Maybe I'll find someone when I go back to Almyra. </p><p>Looks like it wasn't just professor Hanneman and myself who're making their way towards their dorms. More and more people are making an appearance in the hallway. </p><p>Good thing Rhea knows I'm here. I won't be eliminated as soon as I'm seen. </p><p>The walk to my dorm takes a few minutes. I didn't see any of my Traitors anymore, which I'm pretty relieved about. It's best if I don't see anyone anymore. </p><p>The less I see them, the easier it'll be for me to distance myself from them. </p><p>I open the door to my room and close it right behind my back. I hope I can get a good night's rest after everything that happened today. </p><p>What a day. This is absolutely not a day I'd like to repeat, ever. </p><p>I take off my clothes and shoes and crawl under my covers. It's strangely comforting to be in my old room again. It sort of makes me feel as if I'm safe again, despite literally being right inside the lion's den.</p><p>It's pretty warm in my room, but I'm still feeling cold. The lack of a warm body to snuggle against weighs heavily in my heart. </p><p>Yuri… How could he do that to me? How long has he been unfaithful, and with who? Just that woman, or maybe one of my other Traitors? I wouldn't put it past them anymore. </p><p>And Dimitri. Goddamn, what the hell is with that guy? Is he even aware of his own mental state? Or does he just randomly 'wake up' and find the consequences of His Majesty's actions? </p><p>I can't even imagine what that must be like; not being in control of your own body. Or, actually, not even being conscious inside your own body. It sounds terrifying. </p><p>Could it be that Dimitri is terrified too? Scared of himself? </p><p>I honestly feel bad for the way I treated him. Obviously, his mental state isn't his fault. He didn't have any control over himself. </p><p>And Yuri definitely got what was coming for him. </p><p>But why didn't he tell me why he did it? He could have defended himself, yet he didn't. </p><p>I need to stop thinking about this. I'll just go and see Dimitri tomorrow and maybe have a conversation with him. I don't think I want to stay in a relationship with him, but I'll tell him that after I made use of him.</p><p>I can't have him keep Edelgard's location a secret from me. </p><p>It'd be nice to end things rationally and reasonably. I'm sure Dimitri will understand. </p><p>My eyes are starting to grow heavy, so I decide to give in to my body's needs. Some rest sounds just about perfect right now. </p><p>. </p><p>I wake up with a jolt. My body is covered in sweat and I'm breathing heavily. </p><p>I had a nightmare, I'm sure of it. I remember small fragments of His Majesty towering over me with spats of blood in his face and Yuri making out with whoever. </p><p>And Lorenz' cold and dead body. </p><p>I wipe my forehead. It's soaking wet. I suppose it's not that weird I got a nightmare after all that's happened. Doesn't mean I saw it coming. </p><p>I lie back down and kick my blankets off my sweat-soaked body. It'd be nice to cool off a bit, but the hot weather from yesterday has warmed up my room quite a few degrees. </p><p>It's almost summer time now, huh? Time flies, even when you're not having fun. </p><p>It takes a long time before I start feeling sleepy again. I toss and turn, but I can't seem to find a comfortable position to sleep in. </p><p>Too many memories are haunting my thoughts. Happy memories of moments I shared with my friends. Bad memories of those same friends hurting me, time and time again. </p><p>I remember Dimitri's confession to me. How he's liked me for so long, even when I had no idea he even existed. I remember the way I felt when he told me that. So warm, so fuzzy inside. </p><p>I was so happy. Dimitri was the first one who saw me for me. The first person who liked me, who wanted to be with me. </p><p>He was my very first love, and I was his. </p><p>Am I really ready to let go of that? To put an end to those memories, knowing I'll never have anything like that with Dimitri again? </p><p>It'll be hard, but this is something I know I have to do. If I don't sever my bonds here, I'll never be able to leave everyone behind. </p><p>I'm doing this for me, and I know I'll be better off if I end everything here. </p><p>I close my eyes and keep them closed until I can feel my consciousness drift away. </p><p>Yes, this is definitely the best decision for myself. </p><p>.</p><p>The morning light is what wakes me up once more. Thankfully, I didn't dream this time. </p><p>Despite that, I'm still feeling exhausted. But duty awaits, so I roll out of bed. I dress myself in the clothes I wore yesterday, since they didn't smell too bad. </p><p>I don't have any time to waste today, so I head out of my room immediately. </p><p>Looks like it's still early, so I have all the freedom I need to make my way to Dimitri's dorm. </p><p>I wonder if his family is in there too. It'd be kinda awkward to see them. I honestly don't want to meet Dimitri's parents.</p><p>Damn it, Claude. Don't have second thoughts now. I need to talk to Dimitri, so that's what I'll do. Regardless of whether or not Dimitri's folks will be there. </p><p>My destination slowly comes into view, and I'm not gonna lie, my hands are getting clammy. Not just because of the possible presence of Dimitri's parents, but also Dimitri's mental state. </p><p>What if he doesn't want to see me again? Or what if he won't tell me where Edelgard is? </p><p>No use thinking about it now. I'll find out when I see him. </p><p>I knock on the door softly at first. I don't really want to wake up anyone. It is really early after all. </p><p>It takes a minute or two before I hear shuffling sounds behind the door. It finally opens, revealing a very tall, blonde man. </p><p>I can see who Dimitri got his looks from. Damn, this man is gorgeous. They look like replicas, except this man has his hair slicked back neatly and a bit of facial hair. And he still has both of his eyes.</p><p>Focus, Claude. He's old and married.</p><p>"Uhm, good morning. Uhm, sir. Is Dimitri here?"  Wow, way to go Claude. Very smooth. </p><p>The man squints his eyes at me, likely because he doesn't know who I am. </p><p>"Oh, uhm. My name is Claude. I'm a friend of his." Why can't I say something without the retarded 'uhm'? </p><p>"Ah, I thought I didn't recognize you. My name is Lambert. It's nice to meet you, Claude!" He sticks out a hand to shake mine. </p><p>I grab hold of his hand and damn if it isn't big. At least he seems friendly. </p><p>Well, Dimitri is a friendly guy too. I don't know why I imagined his parents to be scary. </p><p>"Who's at the door at this time, darling?" I hear a voice ask from the back of Dimitri's dorm. </p><p>"A friend of Dimitri's!" Sir Lambert answers. "Hey, Claude, why don't you come inside? We can talk a bit while we wait for Dimitri to finally roll out of bed." He laughs softly as he steps aside for me to enter. </p><p>I hesitate a bit before stepping inside. I'm not here to befriend Dimitri's parents, but I can't really decline if I want to talk to Dimitri. </p><p>So I step inside after all. Fuck me. </p><p>"Good morning. Sorry for stopping by so early," I tell what I'm assuming is Dimitri's mother. </p><p>She gestures with her hand that I shouldn't worry about it. "Oh, that's fine. We were already up anyway. Would you like some coffee?" </p><p>I politely decline and take a seat where sir Lambert gestured I could sit. </p><p>Damn, these people are nothing like I imagined they would be. They're so friendly and hospitable. </p><p>"So, Claude," sir Lambert starts. He takes a sip from his cup of tea. At least, it smells like tea. "You're a friend of Dimitri's, right? Were you outside with him?" </p><p>I nod. "Yeah, that's right." </p><p>I don't want to elaborate on Dimitri and my relationship too much. Dimitri said his parents are against his sexuality after all. </p><p>"I'm surprised Edelgard allowed him to make a friend at all! She was always so possessive over him, wasn't she?" He laughs and Dimitri's mom laughs along with him.</p><p>I'm not sure what's funny, but I pretend to laugh along. I don't wanna get on these people's bad side. </p><p>"That's too true!" Mrs Blaiddyd agrees. "That girl really knows how to handle our boy. I wonder how she's doing now. I haven't seen her since everyone came back." </p><p>Sir Lambert nods in agreeance. "Do you know Edelgard?" He asks me.</p><p>I nod again. "Yeah, I met her before." </p><p>"Good for you! Good for you. So, Claude, was it? Did you have business with Dimitri?" Sir Lambert asks. </p><p>"Yeah, I came to talk to him about something." </p><p>"About what?" Dimitri's mother asks as she sits down next to her husband. </p><p>"Just some things." </p><p>They look at each other with furrowed eyebrows. </p><p>"I'll be honest with you, Claude," sir Lambert starts. "We think you're bad influence on our boy. How about you don't come near him anymore?" </p><p>Wait, what? What the fuck? Where'd that come from? </p><p>"Uhm, with all due respect, sir, why not?" </p><p>Mrs Blaiddyd literally gapes at me as if I asked the strangest question ever. </p><p>"Excuse me? His eye is gone! That would mean you got him in trouble. Our boy would never do anything dangerous. So please, explain how that happened."</p><p>"That wasn't my fault," I defend. "He just tripped and fell. It was an unfortunate accident." </p><p>She snorts. "Right. An unfortunate accident. Care to explain why he looked like he had been crying then?" </p><p>Okay, I'm starting to see the problem now. They're pretty intimidating. I suppose it isn't that hard to succumb under their pressure like Dimitri did. </p><p>"Why do you assume I know? Maybe he and Edelgard had a fight." Can Dimitri wake up already? I didn't want to waste time today. And also his parents are scary. </p><p>Sir Lambert answers me this time. "Claude, listen to yourself. You met with Edelgard, you know what she's like. She would never do anything to hurt Dimitri. Don't be ridiculous. All we're asking is that you stay away from Dimitri, alright? Surely you can do that. For his sake." </p><p>For his sake? He'd been hurting during his whole relationship with Edelgard! Do his parents really not see that? Do they not understand their own child? </p><p>"I still have something to talk to him about, but I'll leave him alone afterwards." I'm not even lying. </p><p>"Good morning," a familiar voice greets. Boy, am I glad to hear that voice right now. "Oh, Claude..? Why are you-"</p><p>He cuts off his own question. Is he scared to talk to me? </p><p>Either way, I'm happy to see him. Even if it's just to get away from these people. </p><p>I get up from my seat, ignoring the outraged looks from both of Dimitri's parents. </p><p>"Oh, good morning!" I greet Dimitri back. "I came to talk about the thing." </p><p>He looks utterly and utmost confused. But after he glances over at his parents, the penny drops and he nods at me. </p><p>"O-oh, right. The thing. Sure, let's talk in my room." He waits for me to nod before he walks back to where he came from. </p><p>I gladly follow after him, but not before I give his parents a friendly wave goodbye. </p><p>They don't like me, I can see that much. Maybe they know about Dimitri's sexuality after all, and they're just scared he'll give in to himself. </p><p>Well, too late for that. Sorry pals. </p><p>Dimitri holds the door open for me so I can enter his bedroom first. He hesitates on whether or not he should close his door. </p><p>"It's fine. You can close it," I tell him. </p><p>I hear the clicking sound of the door closing and it's only then I realize just why he was hesitating. </p><p>I'm set on my privacy, but now I'm in a closed space alone with Dimitri. </p><p>I swallow thickly. This is fine. Just tell him what you need to tell him and then I'll be on my way. </p><p>"So," I start. </p><p>He flinches, but stays quiet. </p><p>"I'll just get right down to business. Where'd you leave Edelgard?" </p><p>He looks surprised, but collects himself rather quickly. "I'm not sure if you'll find her with just an explanation. I-I could show you though. If that's okay with you." </p><p>"No thanks. You can just tell me." </p><p>He casts his eye downwards. "Oh, okay… I left her on the top floor of the main library. I gagged her, so she can't make any loud sounds to draw attention." </p><p>He looks so incredibly hurt right now. Fuck. I want to hug and comfort him, but I know I shouldn't. </p><p>And I've yet to break up with him. This is going to be one hell of a ride. </p><p>"So, I had another thing to talk to you about," I announce. </p><p>I hate how hopeful he looks. And now I really, seriously need to destroy all of that hope. </p><p>"...What is it?" </p><p>I take a deep breath. "Well… I found out what you did to Yuri." </p><p>I can see he's extremely uncomfortable with this subject. Why is it so hard for me to confront him now? I was so angry with him yesterday, and now I don't even want to hurt his feelings anymore. </p><p>Maybe it's the kicked-puppy-look he's giving me. Or perhaps the guilt for what I'm about to do to him. </p><p>Either way, I made up my mind about this. I'm not going back. </p><p>"I also found out why you did what you did. At least, I like to think that's the reason. Uhm, thanks. For trying to protect me, that is. But when I saw the other side of you, I kinda realized that I'm not capable of being your partner. I hold you dear to my heart, I really do, but just not your other side. I'm sorry." </p><p>I couldn't even look at him as I said it. I'm such a coward. </p><p>We're both quiet for a pretty long time. I'm not sure if I should say more, even though I really want to. I want to comfort him, make him feel better, make myself feel better, but I shouldn't. I'll leave it at this. </p><p>And if he won't answer me soon, I'll be on my way. </p><p>He's just standing there, deep in thoughts. </p><p>But then I remember that he stayed still and quiet when he changed ego's before. I'm not about to have His Majesty strangle me again, so I'll leave before he changes.</p><p>"Well, I'll be off then." I walk past him in a hurry and open the door so I can leave. </p><p>Before I leave, I can barely hear Dimitri say something. I stop in my tracks to listen.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Claude, but I understand. Please wait for me. I'll become a man worthy of you, I promise." </p><p>My poor heart. I want to turn around and just jump into his arms, but I refuse to. </p><p>I've made my choice. I will follow through with it this time. </p><p>Without another word, I leave Dimitri's room and walk out of his parent's dorm. </p><p>Well, now that I know where Edelgard is, I can go and see Rhea. </p><p>She'd better be willing to work with me. If not, I'll be putting myself into some great danger by going to see her by myself. </p><p>I'll just keep my fingers crossed. Not like there's much else I can do to prepare.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Have I made an anti-hero? I think I made an anti-hero </p><p>But anti-heroes are pretty cool, right? RIGHT? well I think so </p><p>Thanks for reading!! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HELLOOOOO </p><p>This chapter was SO HARD to write oml </p><p>I wanted to kinda explain Dimitri a bit better, but I don't even know if I did a good job at it<br/>(Dima's part might be a bit triggering bc of emotional trauma (as if we didn't have enough yet) but I hope I didn't make it too intense) </p><p>Also, whatever I wrote about his syndrome, it is fiction, so not really real. I don't even know how the ego's switch and if they can communicate or stuff so </p><p>Enjoy? Hahahah idek</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With an extremely heavy heart, I walk further from Dimitri and closer to Rhea's chamber. I have no idea of how Rhea will react to me once I step into her room, but I'm hoping for the best. </p><p>She wouldn't kill me on the spot, without hearing me out, would she? It's something Seteth might do, but not her. I always kinda felt as if she doesn't want to dirty her hands. </p><p>That would mean I'll be okay as long as Seteth isn't around. </p><p>As I'm about to turn a corner, I hear some familiar voices. Crap. I really don't feel like dealing with anyone right now. </p><p>I'm sure that literally anyone would try to change my mind, and I really can't have that. </p><p>I need to do this my own way. I made up my mind, and that is what I'll do. Anyone who loses their life is collateral damage. It's inevitable. </p><p>Even if those people are those who I once called my friends. </p><p>So many people have already lost their lives to Rhea, a few more won't make that much of a difference, right?</p><p>Just as long as I can dethrone Rhea and get rid of her. Nothing else matters anymore. </p><p>I've decided to turn around and take a different route to Rhea's audience chamber. It's a good thing this monastery is so large. It makes it easy to get to places using different routes. </p><p>The voices of the people I heard before might have been Ferdinand's and Byleth's. If those two are searching for me, it could mean trouble. It's hard to refuse Ferdinand's earnest puppy eyes, after all. </p><p>Actually, Ferdinand never did anything to wrong me, did he? And neither did Byleth. What if exactly they're the ones who won't make it? </p><p>No, stop. No backsies. </p><p>A painful feeling stabs my heart at that thought. No backsies… That's what Yuri and I agreed on back in the dungeon where we were both locked up by Flayn. </p><p>I grit my teeth in anger. He'd been messing with me back then already. I'm sure that that girl had been his girlfriend at the time, so I was just his side bitch. He never saw me as anything more than that. </p><p>I've really sunk to my lowest level of intelligence. I know better than to believe someone at first glance, yet I allowed him to fool me so easily. </p><p>And for what? For some body warmth? For the occasional hug and a kiss? Who the hell am I kidding? </p><p>I can't believe I was so convinced that I need Yuri. He only distracted me from my goals, just like Dimitri constantly did. And now look. All that's left of those relationships is the emotional mess that is named Claude. </p><p>I should have put my relationship with Dimitri on hold when I thought to, back in the forest. But I was too desperate for love and affection to turn him down back then. </p><p>Am I still desperate? Is that why it hurt to leave Dimitri the way I did just now? Or do I really have genuine feelings for Dimitri? </p><p>This is all fucking with my head. I need to let go already. Of them, of everyone. Of my old self. </p><p>I'm done with feelings. I'm done with relationships. And most of all, I'm done with people. </p><p>Even the person who taught me that humans are ugly creatures turned out to be one of the ugliest of them all. </p><p>Disgusting. </p><p>I won't be missing out on anything good if I cut them all out of my life. </p><p>The staircase that leads to Rhea's chamber finally comes into vision. </p><p>Looks like it's time to block out my earlier thoughts and focus on what's to come. I need to convince Rhea that I want to help her. </p><p>I slowly walk up the stairs. </p><p>I'd be lying if I said I'm not feeling nervous right now. My hands are feeling numb and my heart is beating in my throat. </p><p>I'm really about to face one of our worst enemies all by myself. Have I gone insane? I wouldn't deny it. </p><p>My shaky legs keep telling me to stop walking and turn back, but I can't comply. I refuse to change my mind. I will fix this mess. It's now or never. </p><p>It's been months since I last stood outside of Rhea's door. It's rather funny to think about it right now. Back when I had no idea of what was about to happen. When I was completely unknowing to the secrets Rhea'd been hiding. </p><p>I wish I'd never found out. </p><p>I know my old self, he wouldn't have rested until he unmasked Rhea and solved everything in the most humane way. </p><p>But that just isn't possible anymore. My enemies are anything but humane. They play dirty, they hurt people without remorse. How could I beat them in a fair way? I lack power. I lack knowledge. </p><p>And I lack trustworthy allies. </p><p>I trust no one but myself, as I used to. So I'll rely on no one but myself too. </p><p>I look behind me once to see if anyone followed me, but that doesn't seem to be the case. </p><p>Perfect. At least one thing that's going right. Now for the second part of my plan…</p><p>I knock on Rhea's door twice. </p><p>"Please, enter," Rhea's calm voice tells me from behind the huge wooden door. </p><p>I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing. </p><p> </p><p>.~ Dimitri ~.</p><p> </p><p>...Claude won't be with me anymore. This is really the end of our relationship.</p><p>I messed up. I ruined everything. It's all my fault. But how will I fix this? Can I even fix this? </p><p>He didn't seem angry with me anymore, but that doesn't mean we're on good terms again. I still have to apologize. Maybe he'll forgive me. </p><p>If I change myself, would he be willing to give me another chance? Do I even deserve one? </p><p>That's a simple question. I don't. I don't deserve Claude, but I'm just not ready to let go of him. He's what keeps me sane. He's what keeps me grounded. </p><p>What will happen to me if I don't have him with me anymore? Will I completely lose myself? I don't want that. I need Claude, even if he doesn't want me around. </p><p>I have to go find him. I need to tell him how much he means to me, and I have to apologize. I'll beg him for forgiveness. I'll even fall to my knees and crawl for him if I have to. I'll do whatever it takes to stay by Claude's side. </p><p>Even if he won't be mine, I want to at least show him that I'm on his side. That I'll support him and stay with him, without expecting anything in return. </p><p>I hurt him badly, so this is the least I can do. I don't want him to push everyone away again like he did in Remire Village. He should know that there is at least one person he can count on. </p><p>As long as Yuri won't get in my way again. I don't even know what I'll do if I see that bastard again. Claude said he realized why I attacked Yuri, so he must have seen. Claude must have seen what Yuri's been doing. </p><p>I wish he'd never have to see something like that. I know I could have defended my own actions and expose Yuri, but I didn't want to break Claude's heart like that. I didn't want him to experience another betrayal. </p><p>But I couldn't even do that for him. </p><p>Not only did I shock him by attacking Yuri, I also allowed him to catch Yuri being unfaithful. Because I didn't do my one job properly. </p><p>But because he saw, there's still a chance Claude will forgive me for what I did. It's small, but it's there. He should realize that I did it for him. That all I do is for him.</p><p>I'm so twisted for thinking that. It's a good thing Claude got his heart broken? How awful. Maybe my selfishness is what broke us up. </p><p>Either way, if I want to catch up with him, I need to hurry. He's heading towards Edelgard right now, so I'll meet him in the library. </p><p>Whatever he's planning on doing with her, I'll help him. No matter what it will be.</p><p>I hurry and make my way out of my bedroom for the second time. As expected, Claude isn't in my living room. Instead, I find both my parents sitting on the couch. </p><p>They really look like they want to tell me something. </p><p>Should I just..? No, I can't just leave them like this. I should at least hear them out. </p><p>"Is-is everything alright?" I ask them. </p><p>"Dimitri," father starts. "Did you have a fight with Edelgard?" </p><p>A fight with..? Damn it, why does he have to ask that, of all things? </p><p>I shake my head. If I speak now, they will surely figure out that something did happen between Edelgard and myself.</p><p>"Are you sure?" He asks. "That boy, Claude, just said so. He's your friend, is he not? Why would he lie to us?" </p><p>"I don't know, father. Perhaps he got the wrong idea." </p><p>I'm aware of my inability to lie. Seeing my mother look like that, I'm sure she knows I'm hiding something. But I need to go after Claude, I don't have time for this. </p><p>"Who was that boy, anyway?" She asks. "I've never seen him before." </p><p>"He was uhm, my friend. Claude. We only met outside the monastery, so that's why." Damn it, I hesitated. </p><p>Their looks shift immediately. </p><p>"Are you lying to us, Dimitri? Are you lying to your own parents?" Mother asks me. </p><p>I shift on my feet. "N-no, mother, of course not. I wouldn't lie to you." </p><p>"Then what is that boy to you?" Father interrupts. </p><p>His gaze pierces through my eye. Do they know? Are they aware of my feelings for him? </p><p>"He's just my friend, father. Nothing else." At least that sounds like nothing if not suspicious.</p><p>Father stands up from the couch and walks over to me. His hand gently runs over the right side of my face, stroking my cheek. </p><p>"Did he do this to you, son? Did he hurt you?" </p><p>I shake my head again. "No, father. It was my own clumsiness." </p><p>His hand stops moving. "I don't think I believe you, Dimitri. That boy has an awful reputation around here, doesn't he? Don't people call him a rat? You know you shouldn't get involved with him, so why did you? Why would you let him get close to you, when you have an amazing girlfriend like Edelgard? She's all you need." </p><p>I clench my fists. "You're wrong. Claude is an amazing person. He never deserved the name people here have given him. I won't let you speak ill of him like this." </p><p>"Speak ill of him? I'm merely telling you what you should already know! How dare you talk back at me? I'm your father! I won't tolerate this behavior. Go back to your room, now." He gestures towards my room. </p><p>Wait, hold on. I can't go back to my room right now, I need to go after Claude! </p><p>"Well? Go," he insists after he sees that I haven't made a move to go yet. </p><p>I hesitate. I don't want to defy my father, it goes against everything I know. But I can't give up on going after Claude either. </p><p>What should I do? </p><p>"Dimitri, listen to your father!" Mother orders. </p><p>...I don't want to. I don't want to listen to my parents anymore. They always push me to do things I don't want. I never asked for Edelgard to be my girlfriend. I never asked to become a person I'm not. </p><p>I don't want this anymore. I want to stop pretending, even if my parents don't like who I truly am. </p><p>I want to be with Claude, in any way possible. And I will not let my parents stand inbetween us. Not anymore. </p><p>"I refuse." </p><p>Father removes his hand from my face completely and lets it hang down his side. "What? Where is this coming from? What's going on with you, Dimitri? You're never like this. Did that boy tell you to rebel against your parents?"  </p><p>"No, father. This is me speaking. I refuse to be the obedient and naive little boy I always was. I've been through too much in these past months to stay innocent. I've seen the outside world, I've met new people who've become important to me. I've grown. And it's time you and mother recognize me for the person I am, rather than the perfect son you want me to be." </p><p>"What are you talking about, honey?" Mother stands up from the couch as well. "We've always seen you for who you are. We only want what's best for you. Now stop this ridiculous behavior and listen to your father!" </p><p>"No, mother. I'm not going back to my room. I'm not a child you can punish anymore. I have to go after Claude, and neither of you can stop me." I push my father aside to make my way towards the exit of our living space.</p><p>This feeling… It's strange, but it feels as if I'm finally doing the right thing. I never stood up to my parents before, because I never had a reason to. But Claude… Claude means the world to me. He's my everything. </p><p>I will not let my parents be the reason I lose him. He's too important. </p><p>I open the door, but my mother pushes it closed again right away. </p><p>"Mother, please. This is important to me." I try the door again, but she doesn't let me through. </p><p>I could easily overpower her, no doubt. But the last thing I want is to hurt my parents in any way. </p><p>"Dimitri, stop it! Are you trying to destroy our family? Because that's what you're doing! Stop it, please." Her eyes start to water and I feel a tremendous amount of guilt at the sight of it.</p><p>"No, that's not what I want at all," I deny. "I just- Mother, please understand. I have to go to Claude. I- He's the one I truly love. I have to get to him, so please. Please, let me leave." </p><p>I can't believe I actually admitted it to them. After all this time of hiding myself, I've finally said it. I feel as if a weight has lifted off my shoulders. It feels amazing. I can finally breathe again.</p><p>But mother doesn't seem to share my happy feelings.</p><p>She shakes her head and then turns towards father. "Darling, we're going to lose him. Please, do something! He's changing!" </p><p>Within a second, father closes the distance between us and manhandles me to the floor. </p><p>What's happening all of a sudden? </p><p>He pushes me onto my back and restrains my arms. </p><p>"Dimitri!" He screams. "Come back to us, Dimitri!" </p><p>I blink at him. I don't understand what he's doing. "What do you-" </p><p>Before I can finish my question, he slaps me in the face. "Don't speak with my son's voice, you monster!" </p><p>My cheek hurts. Actually, my whole face hurts. I don't understand what's going on. What is he trying to do? I haven't changed, I'm still me. </p><p>I'm losing time here, I need to go and find Claude. I try to wriggle out of my father's tight hold, but his position on top of me works too much in his favor. I can't get loose. </p><p>"I don't know why you've come, but I order you to disappear!" </p><p>"Then let me go!" I scream back. </p><p>I hear my mother whimper loudly and my father just gapes at me. He's panting from the exertion of holding me down. </p><p>"He's still possessed," my mother sobs. "It's still inside of him. Lady Rhea's ritual didn't work." </p><p>"How could that be? Where did she go wrong?" Father sounds as if he lost all hope for me.</p><p>"What are you talking about?" I try again.</p><p>Neither one of my parents answers me.</p><p>I'm so confused. Possessed? Lady Rhea's ritual? </p><p>Do they mean 'him'? But 'he' hasn't possessed me. 'He' is a part of me, 'he' told me that.</p><p>"Let go of me if you're not going to answer me." I try to get my hands loose once more. </p><p>I think, if I really tried, I could break my father's fingers and get him to let go. But I don't want to hurt him like that. He doesn't deserve it. </p><p>'Are you serious? You know he deserves it. He's been manipulating you all this time. Suppressing you, dominating you. Return the favor. Return the favor, you coward.' </p><p>I freeze in my movements. This voice… I know it's 'his'. I shouldn't listen to it. I shouldn't do as it says, or I'll do something horrible again. </p><p>'Stop defying me. You know I'm right, so what are you waiting for? You have other things to do than lie here on the floor. Don't you need to get to Claude? Your parents are getting in your way. They always get in your way. Remove them from your path. Destroy them.' </p><p>I clench my eye shut. I have to block out the voice. If I can just ignore it, I'll be okay. Just ignore the voice. </p><p>"By the name of the Goddess, leave my son's body!" I can hear my father shout at me. </p><p>Just focus on father. Listen to father's voice, not the other one. 'He' is dangerous. I shouldn't listen to 'him'. </p><p>'Isn't he pathetic? He thinks something has possessed you, Dimitri. How ignorant. He refuses to recognize his own mistake. Wasn't he the one who triggered me into existing in the first place? Back then. Back when he and your own mother abused you until you wished to die. You may not remember, but I do. And I despise them for what they've done to you. Let me take over for you, Dimitri. Let me help you. I'll take care of it. They deserve what's coming for them. You get to go to Claude right after, I promise.' </p><p>Go to Claude..? I do have to get to Claude. I'm wasting time. I can't afford to stay here. </p><p>I close my eye and allow my consciousness to drift. </p><p>'Revenge is a dish best served cold, Dimitri,' is the last I hear before I lose my consciousness. </p><p>.</p><p>When I come to, I feel extremely dizzy and disordered. Like I always do when I return to my own consciousness. </p><p>"What happened..?" I look around, and from the looks of it, I'm in the dressing room of the community baths in the monastery. </p><p>What am I doing here, of all places? And how much time has passed?</p><p>I'm standing near one of the washing basins. When I look inside of it, I can feel the blood drain from my face. </p><p>The basin is covered in half-washed bloodstains. </p><p>The next thing I do, is check both of my hands. At first glance, they seem clean. I'm about to feel relieved, but as I look closer at my cuticles, I notice dried-up blood on some of them. </p><p>No..! No way! This cannot be. I should have never let 'him' take control again! </p><p>What was I thinking?! </p><p>My father and mother… Did 'he' really kill them? I have to go and look, but I'm terrified of what I'll find. What if it's true? What if 'he' really murdered them?</p><p>I wouldn't put it past 'him'. 'He' tried to kill Yuri before, so- </p><p>The thought makes me hurry out of the bathroom and sprint to my family's dorm. I push aside a few people who were walking in my way, and despite that I do apologize, I can't find it in me to feel bad. </p><p>I can't waste any more time right now. </p><p>It doesn't take me long before I'm back at my living space. The door is closed and my heart is about to burst from the stress I'm feeling. </p><p>I knock first. "Father? ...Mother?" </p><p>I wait a few seconds, but I don't receive an answer. </p><p>So, I knock louder. "Mother! Father! Open the door!" </p><p>Please open it. Please. </p><p>I knock once more, but it stays quiet. </p><p>Right, they might be hurt! Of course, that's why they can't open the door. 'He' must have hit them unconscious.</p><p>I try to push the door open. It opens a small bit, but then it gets stuck in place. As if something is blocking it from the inside.</p><p>"Father, mother..? I-it's me. Please open the door. I want to apologize." </p><p>I wait a few seconds again. It stays dead silent behind the door though. </p><p>Panic rises within me and I struggle with keeping my breathing under control. My hands tremble severely as I try to push open the door a bit further. </p><p>The thing that's blocking the door feels heavy, but I manage to move it a little bit more. </p><p>I look down to see what exactly is blocking my entrance, but I wish I hadn't. </p><p>My father's clothes are visible, meaning that my father must be the obstacle that's in my way of entering. </p><p>"Father..?" I crouch down so I can grab hold of the clothes I can see from here. </p><p>The shirt is wet. Drenched, even. </p><p>I pull on the fabric a little, but my father doesn't give way to my efforts. I decide to put in a bit more force, to push and pull on him, but he still doesn't move or make a sound. </p><p>I'm fearing the worst by now. I don't want to believe it, but there is no other conclusion I can draw from this. </p><p>'He' really did murder my parents. </p><p>I retract my hand from my father's body and I can see that it's covered in blood once again. </p><p>A bile of vomit rises up from my stomach to my throat and I throw up right there. </p><p>"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" I repeat, over and over inbetween waves of nausea and vomiting. </p><p>'You're so pathetic. Isn't this what you wanted? Don't act as if you're hurt now. You have to go find Claude, remember? Your parents deserved nothing better than this. Stop whining, you fucking baby.' </p><p>I slap my hands in front of my ears in a fruitless attempt to block out the voice. "Shut up! Just shut up! I don't want to listen to you anymore! Leave me alone! Get out!" </p><p>'He' has the audacity to laugh at me. 'He' laughs and laughs as 'he' calls me names. </p><p>I can't block out 'his' voice anymore. 'He' is all I hear at one point and I feel as if I'm finally going crazy. </p><p>I need to see Claude. I want to hear his voice, feel his arms around me, kiss his lips. Or maybe hear him scream at me in anger again, or feel his tears wet my shirt once more. </p><p>I don't care what, I need Claude. Anything he can give me, I need to have it. He's my remedy against 'him'. I can't resist 'him' without Claude near me. </p><p>'You should have died back when you wanted to. You should have done it. You had everything ready, but you couldn't even do that. You're such a failure. But it's not too late yet. Find something sharp and stab your throat. It's not that hard. Go, find something.'</p><p>"Stop! Please, just stop! Get out of my head!" Even over my own pleading screams, I still hear it. </p><p>I still hear 'him' telling me to kill myself. I don't want to. I'm scared. I don't want to die yet. I want to be with Claude. </p><p>'He doesn't even want you near him.' </p><p>"You're wrong, he-" I almost choke on my own saliva. "He said he holds me dear to his heart so-" </p><p>'You believe that? He just felt bad for you. He pities you, because you're pathetic. Anyone can see that. Look at you. No one will ever respect you if they see you like this. Let me take over. Let me fix this for you.' </p><p>I don't want 'him' to fix this. All 'he' does, is destroy everything I worked so hard for. </p><p>"No! You're the reason everything got fucked up in the first place. It's because of you that Claude doesn't want me anymore! Get out of my head!" </p><p>'He' laughs again. </p><p>'You can't do anything on your own. You never have, you never will. Stop acting tough and leave the grown-up stuff to somebody who can handle it. Allow me, Dimitri.' </p><p>Stop. Stop talking. I don't want to hear it. It's driving me crazy. This voice, this voice that sounds so much like my own, but is still so different. This voice of a monster, living inside my own head, my own body. I don't want to hear it anymore. </p><p>My hands can't block out a voice that comes from inside of my head. It's impossible, but I want to stop hearing it. I want it to disappear, even if for just a few seconds. </p><p>I want silence and quiet in my head. What a blissful feeling that would be. </p><p>'Just kill yourself. You're worthless anyway. What do you have left now? Your parents are dead. Claude doesn't want you anymore. Your friends will think you're pathetic when they see you in this state. Just end it. Everyone will be better off without you.' </p><p>Will they? I honestly don't even doubt that. But I don't want to die. I don't want to leave Claude, even if he does want to leave me. I'm not ready yet. I still have so much I want. </p><p>Instead of trying to block out the voice, since there isn't any way of doing so anyway, I ram my head against the wall I'm sitting in front of. If I can physically pass out, 'he' can't do anything either. </p><p>He can't use an immovable body.</p><p>The first hit doesn't quite do the trick, so I repeat the motion. It hurts terribly. My head throbs and my forehead stings, but I'm still not where I need to be. </p><p>Once more, I slam my head against the wall. This time I'm actually starting to get dizzy and black spots start filling my vision. </p><p>Just one more..! </p><p>I brace myself for this one. I'm going to make sure I pass out, so I'll hit myself harder than I did the first few times. </p><p>The voice keeps encouraging me too, telling me to hit harder and harder, but I'm not doing this for 'him'. I just want some peace and quiet. </p><p>I close my eye so I won't see the wall coming as I hit my head against it once more. </p><p>But instead of hurting myself again, something soft protects my head from colliding directly with the wall. </p><p>"Hey, stop that! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" </p><p>The hand gets retracted again and the person who just stupidly put their hand inbetween my head and the wall groans in pain. </p><p>I look up and I can't help more tears from coming out of my eye. I start sobbing incontrollably. </p><p>"Oh, shit. Dimitri, what's going on? What happened?" </p><p>"M-my parents..! He killed my- my parents!" </p><p>Sylvain doesn't move or say anything, which only spurs me on to tell more.</p><p>"I never wanted him to, but I couldn't stop h-him. And now they're gone and I'll never get them back!" </p><p>He drops down to sit next to me and puts an arm around me. "You need help, Dimitri. You can't keep doing this on your own." </p><p>"W-what do you mean?" My voice is trembly from crying. </p><p>"You're not doing okay. I know sort of what's going on with you, Dimitri. I heard you scream to yourself just now. Shocking, to say the least. I honestly have no idea of what to do with you right now. I feel like I should be wary of your state, but you're my friend and I care about you. I'm worried about you too. Is Claude what you need? Because then we'll go and find Claude for you. Just don't start hurting yourself like this again. It's terrifying to watch." </p><p>I can't do anything but nod. Yes, Claude is what I need. If I just have Claude with me, I don't need anything else. </p><p>Sylvain helps me back upright and I stumble a bit. My head aches terribly and the wet feeling of blood dripping down my face tickles my skin. </p><p>I wipe it off with my hand, which leaves a smear of blood over both my hand and my face. </p><p>"Oh, uhm. Let's get you cleaned up first." He laughs awkwardly as he wraps my arm around his shoulders to support me. "Just like before, huh?" </p><p>I try for a smile, but I'm sure it's more of a grimace. Never mind. I can't smile right now. And I won't smile anymore until I'm with Claude again. </p><p>He can hate me, despise me, wish me dead even, but as long as I'm with him, I don't care about anything else. </p><p>But I can't lead Sylvain to Edelgard. He can't find out about her location, or Claude's plans might get ruined. I may not be able to work with Claude directly right now, but I can at least make sure no one can interfere. Even though I don't even know what he's planning on doing. </p><p>So, I'll find a way to leave Sylvain somewhere so I can guard Edelgard for Claude. </p><p>"Should we let anyone know about your parents?" Sylvain suddenly asks. </p><p>This might be my chance. </p><p>"Well… if you don't mind, could you maybe find professor Manuela? I'll clean myself up in here." I don't know if I can trust my mind enough to be alone right now, but I have to try.</p><p>I have to, for Claude. </p><p>He looks hesitant. </p><p>"I'll be fine," I assure. "I'll be right here when you come back." </p><p>He raises an eyebrow at me. "What are you planning? You can't go anywhere in that state. Let me come with you, wherever you're going." </p><p>I shake my head, which aggravates the ache in it. I try not to wince. "Claude doesn't completely trust you. I can't let you." </p><p>"Going through such lengths just for his sake? Look at you, you're a complete mess." </p><p>"Sylvain, don't get in my way. I'm warning you." My voice scares me. It sounds like 'his', rather than my own. </p><p>I quickly shut my mouth, but he noticed it. Of course Sylvain noticed it. He's always been much more perceptive than he lets on. </p><p>"...Alright. I'll go find professor Manuela. Just don't do anything stupid." With that, he leaves me by myself in the community bathroom. </p><p>Don't do anything stupid… I wish I had control over that. All I can do is hope 'he' won't find a way to take over while I'm conscious. </p><p>I suppose I just won't be getting any sleep anytime soon. It's too risky. I'll clean up quickly and then I'll head over to the library. Whether or not Claude wants to see me, isn't even a concern to me. </p><p>I'll just stay at a distance from him. I'll watch him again like I used to back then. I'll be okay as long as I'm near him. </p><p>He's all I could ever need. Nothing more, nothing less than only Claude.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'M SO SO SO SORRY FOR SKIPPING LAST WEEK but to make up for that I wrote an EXTRA long chapter </p><p>We're slowly but surely getting to the plot now and I'm super scared but still excited to write it</p><p>I hope y'all are too!! </p><p>TRIGGER WARNING: there is kind of a gross scene in this chappie (i honestly scared myself for making it up) but I've indicated the beginning and end with 3 °°°</p><p>Thank you all for your patience and your kindness, I love all of you &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>.~ Claude ~.</p><p>I take a moment to calm myself before I enter Rhea's chamber. It's probably been a minute or two since I knocked on the wooden doors. I'm sure she must be thinking someone tried to prank her by knocking and not walking in, and I would, but not under these circumstances. </p><p>If anything, I'm terrified. My whole plan rides or dies with what's about to happen here. If Rhea decides to kill me right away without even hearing me out, it's over. Everything I've done up to now would be completely in vain. </p><p>That's why I need to be careful with my words. I know I'm more than capable of fooling anyone with believable lies, but it's Rhea I'm up against. Neither she, nor Seteth has ever been likely to fall for my attempts, so I can't depend on lies only. </p><p>With one fluent, seemingly confident motion, I swing open the heavy doors. </p><p>I know what I was expecting to see, but seeing the real deal is still somewhat intimidating after all this time. </p><p>Rhea, standing there the same way she always did before, with her hands folded in front of her body and head held high as if she's the goddess herself. </p><p>A hint of surprise, possibly also fear crosses her features for a mere second before she recovers again. </p><p>"Claude," she greets. "It's a grand relief to see you have made it back safely. The Goddess is indeed generous with her divin-" </p><p>Do I seriously still have to listen to this bullshit? I take a quick look around the space to see if Seteth might be around. Thankfully, he's not, so I'll get to the point quickly.</p><p>"Cut the crap, you fake," I interrupt. "I know you aren't the Lady Rhea you've been pretending to be. How about we just let go of all the pretends and the acts? I won't pretend to be a danger to you, because I'm not. And then you can stop pretending to be this graceful, caring woman, because you're not." </p><p>Fuck, I didn't mean to be so snarky right away. I suppose I'm still salty at her for everything she's done. For fucking up mine, and everyone else's lives, that is.</p><p>She closes her still-open mouth in an instant. Her eyebrows furrow and her upper lip curls into a snarl. It really makes her face look ugly. "How dare you speak to me like that?! You may know that I'm not Rhea, but you have no idea of who I really am, do you?" </p><p>That actually makes me falter a bit in my convictions. Could she be more dangerous than I thought? …No, something seems off. She got provoked way too easily. She's probably spilling empty threats because she didn't expect to be called out like this. She's trying to intimidate me so I'll back down from her. </p><p>Sorry, but no can do. </p><p>I shake my head. "No, I don't. But like I said, I pose literally no threat to you. You could easily kill me right here, right now. I don't even have a weapon on me that I could use to fight back." </p><p>She looks me over carefully, only to find that I am speaking the truth. I'm truly and utterly defenseless. Her suspicions of me seem to rise, seeing that she eyes the open door behind me as well. She gestures for me to close it before she speaks up again.</p><p>"What is your purpose of coming here?" </p><p>The door makes a clicking sound, indicating it's shut. It somewhat helps to calm me down, knowing no one can barge or listen in without me knowing.</p><p>"I just have a proposition to make. That's all." </p><p>An eyebrow raises at me, urging me to continue. </p><p>"Right now, there are quite a few individuals inside the monastery that pose a serious threat to you and your position here. One strong individual in specific. I know what they're planning and how to stop them. Or rather, I know what I can do to help you keep your current position. Basically, I've come here to make a deal with you. In exchange for my help, you'll let me go unharmed. Simple as that." </p><p>She stays quiet for a moment. Actually, I think she might be gaping at me. </p><p>"You… You'll help me? I thought you came back to get rid of me. What makes you think I'll believe you this easily?" </p><p>I shrug. "One, I'm completely alone and defenseless before you right now. If I had decided to get rid of you, I would have brought more people and weapons. And two, I have nothing to fight for anymore. You probably don't care, but I'm barely holding myself together here. All I want is a guaranteed leave from this place so I can go back to my homeland. You'll never see me again after that." </p><p>I had dozens of lies ready to lay out before her, but I ended up telling her the honest truth. I'm not sure what's gotten over me, perhaps I'm just looking for some sympathy here. But of course, I couldn't expect that from someone cold and cruel like Rhea.</p><p>The corners of her lips quirk into a smile. "You sound very reasonable, although I'm not sure if you're certain that you want to turn your back on your allies." </p><p>"Then how can I convince you?" From the moment those words leave my mouth, I feel regret for speaking them. </p><p>How stupid can I be? </p><p>Her earlier smirk changes into a downright scary big grin, which seems to almost split her face in half. </p><p>I've never seen her like this before, and I'm not liking it one bit. </p><p>It only lasts for about a second before her face returns to its neutral form. Even the small smirk is nowhere to be seen anymore. I'd like to think I imagined the visual, but the goosebumps I still have on my skin prove me wrong. </p><p>"Follow me," she orders before she turns around and heads into the smaller room attached to the large space. </p><p>I swallow once before I do as she said. She didn't show any killing intent, but I still feel anxious. </p><p>What is she going to ask of me? </p><p>A few things come to mind, but I force the thoughts back out as quickly as they came. There's no way she'd order me to kill somebody, right? </p><p>But if she would, would I comply? I know I made up my mind and that I'd consider any deaths inevitable, but am I really ready to have blood on my own hands? </p><p>"This way," she instructs before she starts her descend down a staircase I didn't even know the existence of. </p><p>They appeared to be hidden under some kind of rug. How sneaky. I wonder how many secret passages there even are inside this monastery. </p><p>Reluctantly, I follow her footsteps down the small spiral staircase. The soft patters of our feet on stone can be heard with every step we take. It doesn't help my anxious feeling.</p><p>"Where are you taking me?" She probably won't answer, but it can't hurt to try. </p><p>She never refused my help, after all. So that would mean she thinks I'm already on her side. </p><p>She's more simple than I thought she'd be. Maybe Seteth is the brains behind everything, and Rhea over here is the actual sidekick of the two. It's kinda funny to think about.</p><p>"You'll see." She keeps on walking down the stairs. </p><p>Not a satisfying answer. "Alright." </p><p>The staircase smells terribly. I'm not sure what it smells like, but the further we go down, the stronger the horrible stench becomes. </p><p>"What's that smell?" I cover my nose with my sleeve, but the stench is already in my nose. I can't smell anything but what's down here. </p><p>"You'll see," she repeats. Her voice sounds calm, but I sense something giddy about her. </p><p>As if she really can't wait to show me. </p><p>My stomach feels ready to empty itself. I only barely manage to keep the contents down. </p><p>What the hell have I gotten myself into? Couldn't I have left on my own? Well, I could have tried but there wouldn't be any certainty that I'd make it. And I refuse to accept any more help from anyone else. </p><p>They don't know what they're doing anyway. They probably don't even have a plan of action. Instead, they're all just waiting for me to think of a plan again. Like they've been doing this whole time. Can't they do anything themselves? Do they really need me to hold their hands with whatever they do? </p><p>No, this is definitely better. I can't keep messing around with those idiots. I just hope they trained enough with Byleth to stay alive during the chaos I'm about to unleash on them. And if they didn't, then…</p><p>Then I wouldn't want to find out. Ever. </p><p>Despite my hateful feelings, I don't wish them dead. Well, none of them besides Yuri. He deserves to suffer greatly. But not the others.</p><p>At the bottom of the stairs, there's another door. It looks incredibly sturdy and chains with a lock hang in front of it. Rhea takes a small key out of her hair ornament and opens the lock. </p><p>The silence is so heavy that the soft click makes me jump. </p><p>What has she hidden behind this door? I'm terrified to find out. Literally anything could be in here. And to top it off, that lock was anything but flimsy. </p><p>"We're here," she announces as she pushes the door. It looks incredibly heavy and for a moment, I wonder if I should help her. </p><p>But then I remember that I'm not actually here to help her. I want this woman dead. </p><p>She groans softly in exertion and the heavy door squeaks as it opens further. The wood scrapes over the stone, making it even heavier to push. </p><p>The opening now is large enough for me to see what's behind it, but it's completely dark in the room. It's pitch-black. </p><p>"We're entering," Rhea tells me as she takes the first step into the space. </p><p>I hesitate with following. Every instinct I have is screaming at me to turn back and run back up the stairs, away from this place.</p><p>"There is no need to be afraid. There is nothing inside that can harm you," Rhea assures me. </p><p>I hate that I need to be comforted by this monster in women's clothes. I clench my hands into tight fists and follow after her into the room. </p><p>She pushes the door closed again, blocking out the bit of light that entered from the staircase. The last thing I see before darkness envelops us both entirely is her face, back and complete with the giant creepy grin plastered on it. </p><p>"Let's have some fun, shall we?" </p><p> </p><p>.~ Dimitri ~. </p><p> </p><p>I hurry over to the library. I feel kind of bad for acting out against Sylvain the way I did. He was only trying to help, yet I let my strong emotions for Claude do my talking.</p><p>Claude… I hope he is with Edelgard right now. I want to help him. Even if he's angry, I want to show him that I'm on his side. </p><p>Before I enter the library, I look around to see if anyone sees me walk in. I then catch myself in the act. It looks much more suspicious than a person just walking in casually, so I do just that instead. </p><p>The first thing I do after I close the door, is walk over to one of the bookcases. I take a random book off one of the shelves while I perk up my ears to listen for any sounds coming from the top floor. If Edelgard was found by someone, surely they'd be making noises up there. </p><p>As I pretend to read, I notice nothing suspicious coming from the space where I left Edelgard. Not even any sounds coming from her herself. Either someone, I'm hoping Claude, found her and took her away, or she managed to escape on her own. </p><p>I'm about to put the book back into its designated spot on the shelf so I can head upstairs and check on Edelgard when the door of the library opens again. </p><p>I take a new book from the shelf and flip through the pages. Someone just entered the library, so I can't look suspicious right now. I'll just pretend not to notice their presence until they leave again.</p><p>If it's Claude, surely he'll ask me what I'm doing here. If it's Sylvain, there's no doubt that he'll come and talk to me. </p><p>Actually, if it's anyone I know, they'll come and talk to me. Since that's what they always do. </p><p>Footsteps approach me slowly. It's giving me an unsettling feeling, but I try to seem nonchalant by putting back this book and taking another to browse through. I'm not the best at acting, not at all, but that's why I decided to turn my back towards the entrance in the first place. </p><p>At least the person can't see my flushed cheeks or panicked face. </p><p>The footsteps come closer and closer, until they come to a halt right behind me. The person hasn't said a word yet, but my brain immediately goes for the most apparent option; I should step aside because I'm standing in front of the bookcase this person needs a book from. </p><p>"Oh, excuse me," I mutter as I step sideways. </p><p>Instead of stepping closer to the bookcase like I expected he'd do, the person takes hold of my upper arm. It surprises me and I almost drop the book I was still browsing through. </p><p>"So it was you," the immediately familiar voice tells me. </p><p>The panic increases. "W-what are you talking about?" </p><p>Don't tell me he saw that I hid Edelgard here. Or worse, that he took her away and ultimately Claude as well. </p><p>He steps even closer to me. My arm he's still holding touches his chest. "You left Edelgard here," he whispers. "What were you thinking, Dimitri? Leaving her here without barricading the stairs. Anyone could have gone up and found her."</p><p>What is he talking about? And why would he tell me that? </p><p>"Please let go of my arm." I pull on it to get it loose, but his hold on me is too tight. </p><p>I don't want to get physical with him of all people, but it's starting to look like I'll have no choice. </p><p>He hums. "That won't do, Dimitri. You need more strength, more power. You need the power you used to trounce your parents. Show it to me. Show me exactly what I created." </p><p>I freeze in my movements. What he created? Did he turn me into this monster? Was it really him, Seteth, and not my parents? But that means 'he' lied. 'He' always blamed my parents for what they did to me. </p><p>The hand around my upper arm squeezes to redirect my attention to him. I barely manage to wrap my head around the words he's speaking to me. </p><p>"-you were still young, but I already saw how much potential you had. A small, but very sturdy body. You never once got sick. How could I not? You were absolutely perfect for hosting His Highness' spirit. If only you yourself weren't such a kind boy. The two of you could have taken my position right here. Actually, do you know who His Majesty is, Dimitri? He is the man who once ruled over the Kingdom of Faerghus. He was a cruel king who did nothing but wage war and kill innocents in cold blood. He came to his death right here, in this monastery after he got dethroned by his own people and locked away like the beast he was."  </p><p>I'm feeling dizzy all of a sudden. Seteth put some cruel king's spirit in me? So that I could take Seteth's position? I'm so confused. </p><p>I shake my head. "Stop it. Stop talking." </p><p>He just laughs at me. "No, I won't. Your parents knew something was wrong with you, but they turned to the wrong people for help. Those fools. They actually came right to me once you started showing the first signs of a split personality. They allowed me to do whatever I wanted with you, and all I had to do was promise them it would be in your favor. I enhanced the both of you. You and His Majesty, that is. I made your body as strong as it is now. All you needed was enough emotional trauma to make sure you'd want to switch places with His Majesty for good. Once that happened, all of my preparations would be complete. You would be the perfect person to take over this monastery. Haha, no, scratch that. I'm sure His Majesty would set his eyes on this world, rather than only this silly building." </p><p>My eye starts to water. 'He' and Seteth have been working together and fooling me this whole time. The reason why I couldn't remember my parents' abuse wasn't because 'he' took the trauma of those memories for me. It's because it never happened. </p><p>I murdered my own parents, who never did anything wrong. My parents, who tried to protect me and cared for me. They loved me. </p><p>"Why would you tell me all this? I was fine not knowing!" </p><p>"That won't do, my boy. You need to know who you are, and what your purpose is. Your importance, your value. You need to become aware and take all what's yours." </p><p>...Take what's mine? What's mine… </p><p>My own body is mine. My life is mine. My thoughts and feelings are mine. </p><p>My reasons and my goals are mine. All of me, all of that is mine. Yet, I've had to share it all with someone else almost my entire life. </p><p>I've had to share everything, even Claude. </p><p>If I can really take what's mine, then I want my own life back. </p><p>"How do I get rid of 'him'?" </p><p>The grip on my arm loosens for barely a second, but I know I felt it. "Rid? Are you out of your mind? You need 'him', 'he's'-" </p><p>"I asked a question. How do I get rid of 'him'?" My tone of voice scares me a little, but it's my own this time. </p><p>It's not the King. I'm in control now. I can vaguely hear 'his' voice in the back of my mind, but for some reason I'm feeling stronger than I ever have. Ignoring 'him' is easier than ever before. </p><p>"Heh, you can't. 'He's' grown to be a part of you. You and 'he' are one now. Did you forget? 'He' can take over for you whenever 'he' wants to." </p><p>I'm furious, but I'm still feeling like myself. It's strange, but it feels so good. "I'll kill you if you don't tell me right now. How the fuck do I get rid of 'him'?!" </p><p>He huffs and I can feel his breath against the back of my ear. "You can't kill me. Not with your own strength. You'll die trying." </p><p>I huff right back at him. "That doesn't matter; I have nothing left to live for anymore. So if it means I'll make it easier for Claude to get rid of you and Lady Rhea, I'll gladly sacrifice my own and 'his' life. Since we are one now, right? He'll just die with me." And you know you can't have that; I think, but don't say.</p><p>He doesn't need to know I've figured out his weak spot. Even though I'm anything but tactical, and I lack the great intelligence Claude or the professor have, I still figured out Seteth. I'm actually a little bit proud of myself, but now isn't the time for that. </p><p>Before he can answer me, I take a firm hold on the book in my free hand and smash it into Seteth's face behind me. The book falls apart completely from the impact, scattering pages all over the place around us. The movement allowed me to turn around and face him directly.</p><p>His face looks off, I notice. He looks much older than he normally did. </p><p>"Argh!" He shouts out and lets go of my arm to cover his nose with his hand. </p><p>Suddenly his younger looking face is back up. That transformation spell really is a weird thing.</p><p>His other hand is starting to form some kind of magic spell, which he aims right at me. Instead of listening to my screaming instincts and dodge, I stay and stand still right where I am. I even spread my arms so he can ensure he'll hit.</p><p>"Go on, kill us," I dare him. </p><p>He fires off the spell, but misses me on purpose. He probably didn't expect me to really mean it when I said I'd gladly offer my own life. </p><p>One of the bookcases behind me crashes and collapses, scattering books all over the floor. I can still feel resonances of the powerful magic spell he used. Getting hit by that would definitely kill me in one go. </p><p>But that's actually fine, isn't it? I have no other purposes now. I told Claude where Edelgard is, so he doesn't need me anymore. My parents, my only family, are killed by my own hands. I'm merely the vessel of some evil spirit, which will disappear along with me. </p><p>This is the the only thing left for me to do. </p><p>I bend over and pick up another few books, which I throw with as much strength as I have in my arm. Seteth barely manages to dodge the first two, but he didn't see my third one coming. It hits him hard against his forehead with a loud smack.</p><p>I've never willingly used my overwhelming strength against another person before. What 'he' did, wasn't me. It feels freeing, somehow. To be able to release all of my pent-up frustrations right at the cause of my problems. </p><p>He's got something coming for him. I'm not stronger than him, not when it comes to fighting experience, but he doesn't want to kill or permanently immobilize me. And that works greatly in my favor. </p><p>"I hope you have some sort of a plan," I say as I pick up more books. "Because this will be a fight to death. Whichever of us it'll be, doesn't even matter. This world will be much better off without both of us." I just need to be extra careful not to let 'him' take over. </p><p>I ready myself for what's no doubt going to be the hardest fight I'll ever have in my life. But that's fine, because when I said world, I actually meant Claude. He'll be glad, I'm sure. He will be better off without Seteth and myself. So even if it is Seteth who loses this fight, I'll rid this world of my presence right after too. </p><p>Because it's best for him. </p><p> </p><p>.~ Claude .~</p><p> </p><p>"What's going on? Why's the door closed?" I try to seem cool, but I'm terrified right now. Why the hell would she close the door all of a sudden? </p><p>I take deep breaths, but I'm still shaking. Before I can say more, a small fire gets lit and starts moving around. It doesn't give off enough light for me to make out anything but Rhea's body behind it.</p><p>"I told you, nothing in this room can hurt you." </p><p>Or so she says, but I think Rhea herself is plenty that can hurt me. </p><p>She lights up one of the lanterns that hang on the wall and then proceeds to walk over to the next, lighting that one up as well. </p><p>One by one, she lights up all the lanterns across the room. My vision gradually expands and it doesn't even take too long before I can see the whole space from wall to wall. It's a lot smaller than I imagined it to be.</p><p>One strange object is standing in the middle of the room. It looks like some kind of closet or something, wrapped in a dark sheet or blanket. It's taller than myself and it looks completely out of place in this small space. </p><p>I'll refer to it as the thing until I figured out what it is.</p><p>"What's that?" I ask as I point at the thing. </p><p>She hums lowly. "Of course you would ask that first thing. You've never been the wait-and-see kind of person. I'll let you find out for yourself, but first, take this." </p><p>I glance over to where Rhea is and I can see she's holding out her hand to give me something. I approach her cautiously and I'm having an internal debate on whether I should keep my eyes on Rhea or watch the thing instead. </p><p>I choose the former. I stick out my hand in front of her outstretched one and allow her to give me whatever it is she was holding. </p><p>Something rather heavy falls in my hand. It's hard, and also rather warm. What's most disturbing though, is that I can literally feel it pulsing with power of some kind. </p><p>I bring my hand closer to my eyes to take a look at the object. It looks to be a bright red stone, or perhaps a gem. </p><p>"Uhm, what is this?" I hold it between my fingertips so I can look at it from all angles. </p><p>"That, my child, is a creststone," Rhea explains to me. "They're packed with the power of certain bloodcrests." </p><p>Ah, creststones and bloodcrests. Makes perfect sense, yes. How did I not know?</p><p>She chuckles as she eyes my reaction. "I didn't think you'd understand. There is no need for you to, anyway. Now, you asked how you could convince me of your intentions." </p><p>I hesitantly nod. She smiles at me and takes another object out of the small cabinet she took the stone from. </p><p>I recognize the shape perfectly. Even before she's handed it to me, I know what it is. </p><p>"What do I need a dagger for?" My voice is pitched slightly higher than I'd like to. I clear my throat softly, but she heard me. </p><p>She chuckles again. "You know, Claude, if you fail to convince me here, this will be the end of the line for you." </p><p>Not like I didn't know that already. I take a deep breath. "You don't need to tell me. So, what do I have to do?" </p><p>She nods in the direction of the thing. "Look what's underneath the cloth first. I'll explain further from there." </p><p>I nod in understanding. "Alright." </p><p>The thing stands unmoving in the room. It's big, tall and completely black. Is it covering something? Well, obviously. But what? </p><p>No way to find out but to look. </p><p>I put the dagger in my waistband as I approach the thing. My hand gently runs over the cloth. I'm not excited to find out what's underneath. It feels as if there are bars under the cloth, like a cage of some sort rather than a simple massive block. </p><p>I brace myself as I grab a hold of the sheet and pull it off the object underneath it. It reveals exactly what I thought; a cage. </p><p>Just what, or rather, who's in it makes my blood run cold. </p><p>"Leonie?! Oh my fucking god, are you okay?!" I crouch down immediately to see her better. </p><p>She's lying down, tied up and gagged and completely worn out. I can't even tell if she's conscious or not, or if she's breathing. </p><p>"What I want you to do," Rhea starts. "Is very simple." </p><p>I honestly forgot about Rhea for a second. I need to keep my cool and make sure she doesn't suspect my intentions. I'm just fearing the worst now. The dagger in my waistband becomes extremely perceptible and the stone in my hand seems to be getting warmer. </p><p>Rhea might ask me to kill Leonie right now. She might actually tell me to slit her throat, and I'll have to comply. </p><p>Can I really do that? I never imagined Rhea would ask me to kill my own friends. I don't even know why I hadn't considered, because that's the most obvious way to see if I'm serious about aiding her. </p><p>If I'm being honest, it isn't a matter of whether I can do it or not. I simply have to do it. Right now, I have to choose between killing Leonie myself and following my plan, or not kill Leonie myself, but getting killed instead and losing Leonie's life anyway. </p><p>Either way, Leonie will die. My choice will be whether I live or not. </p><p>And I will live. </p><p>I turn to Rhea to indicate I'm ready to receive my orders.</p><p>She nods at me. "What I want you to do, and what will ultimately convince me, is for you to bury that stone into her body. You can use the dagger however you like, but she can't die from any wounds inflicted by you. So the stone has to be buried inside of her while she's alive. If you want me to open the cage for better access, just say the word." </p><p>°°°</p><p>I squeeze the warm stone in my palm. It's as if it keeps getting warmer. Is she serious? She wants me to plant this stone into Leonie's flesh. I have to cut large and deep enough for this stone to fit, and Leonie can't die from it. </p><p>Okay, Claude, just think. Areas that I can cut deeply in... I'd say her stomach, but there's a big chance I'll cut into her intestines or some other organ and killing her before the stone is inside of her. Then… her legs? No, her legs are too muscular, this stone will never fit. </p><p>Isn't there another way to get this stone inside of her? There should be. A way that won't risk her dying on me right away. </p><p>Hold on… maybe I won't have to cut her at all. Rhea said to bury it inside of her body, not necessarily her skin.</p><p>"Would it work if I put it inside of her mouth?" I refuse to sexually violate Leonie in any way. I'm not that much of a pig.</p><p>"If you can make it fit," Rhea answers. "It has to be inside of her completely." </p><p>I look at the stone again. It's definitely too large to fit in a person's mouth. And there's a risk of Leonie choking on it if I push it into her throat too deep. </p><p>But I don't have any other choice. I'll just cut the corners of her mouth and her cheeks, then the stone will definitely fit. And she won't lose enough blood to die from it. </p><p>"Okay. Open the cage." </p><p>Rhea walks in front of me and unlocks the small lock that keeps the cage closed. She even holds the door open for me so I can enter. </p><p>"You seem to have found a way. I'm curious to see what you came up with." She stops talking for a moment to let out a chuckle. "I actually had to physically remove Hubert from our last one. He just didn't know how to stop once he started cutting into that poor boy's skin." </p><p>...What? </p><p>"Do you mean Lorenz? Will Leonie share the same fate?" </p><p>She nods, I can see it from the corner of my eye. </p><p>The image of Lorenz' mutilated body returns to my vision. So that did happen before Lorenz turned. Not during, or after he turned back. And Hubert did that to him. </p><p>Hubert tortured Lorenz, likely with the exact same dagger that I'm holding right now. The dagger I'm about to end Leonie's life with. </p><p>I'm so fucking angry all of a sudden. My hands tremble around both the dagger and the stone. The latter is starting to feel warmer again.</p><p>"And what's funny about that?" </p><p>"You should've been there. Or actually, I think your humor might be a bit different from mine, so you probably don't think it's funny at all. But tell me, Claude. Have you changed your mind?" She crooks her head. </p><p>Something else catches my attention as well. This is getting dangerous. When did she get her hands on a scythe like that? She could cut me down with one slash, no doubt. </p><p>And then I finally realize. This is what she intended to do in the first place. She never meant to give me a chance to convince her. I should have realized that she enjoys playing mentally sick games, and I fell for it completely. She knows I couldn't turn my friend into a monster which will try to kill my other friends. She knew she needed to rile me up enough to have me change my mind. </p><p>I clench my jaws. If I give in now, she'll kill me. She'll kill me and turn Leonie into a monster herself. </p><p>I still have a choice. I'll either live or die. All I need to do is convince Rhea by burying this stone in Leonie's body.</p><p>If I remember correctly, Hubert buried the stone inside of Lorenz' lower belly. That's where the biggest cut was, anyway. </p><p>I briefly consider the idea of copying Hubert. At least Lorenz didn't die from that, but then again, Lorenz is a guy. Leonie's organs aren't the same. </p><p>I'll stick to my own way. No problem. </p><p>"No, of course not. I will get out of here, not matter what you make me do." The scythe disappears again and she shows a triumphant smirk. </p><p>"Good boy. Now show me how badly you want to betray your comrades." </p><p>I step past Rhea to enter the cage and hover over Leonie's unconscious body. If she's just sleeping, I might stir her and wake her up as I get the gag out of her mouth. She'll talk to me, ask me what the hell I'm doing, beg me to save her and get her out of here. </p><p>And then I'll cut into her face and stuff this stone down her throat. </p><p>Now who's the real monster? </p><p>I sit down on top of her stomach. I don't press down with my full weight, since I obviously want her to keep breathing. I lay the stone on her chest for a moment so I can use my hand to take the gag off her face. </p><p>As I thought, she stirs and starts to open her eyes. </p><p>"I don't have any comrades," I answer Rhea as I take hold of Leonie's head and get the dagger inbetween her lips. </p><p>"Ngh, wait, Claude? What's going on?" </p><p>I squeeze my eyes shut as I move the blade to the left corner of her mouth. "I'm sorry, but I'm doing this for me." </p><p>"Huh?" </p><p>With one small movement, I slide the dagger through the soft flesh of her cheek. It feels disgusting. Leonie's scream of pain wounds me to the core. I hate this, but I don't have a choice in this matter. Leonie will die, no matter what I choose to do. </p><p>"Just one more," I tell her so she can prepare for the second cut. </p><p>I briefly open my eyes so I can see where I'm holding my dagger, but I wish I hadn't. I'll never forget the image of the torture I'm inflicting on Leonie right now. </p><p>Her face is covered in blood and tears as she's screaming at me to stop. A deep cut runs from the corner of her mouth all the way towards around the mid of her cheek, oozing blood. With every word she tries to form, every cry she lets out, the cut opens, allowing me to see the inside of her mouth. </p><p>I'm a monster. No better than Rhea herself. </p><p>I pick up the stone again and I faintly notice the stone is increasing in temperature again. What is up with this thing?</p><p>"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Leonie. Thank you for fighting for them, but it was in vain. You accomplished nothing by sacrificing yourself back then, but I'll give it meaning this time. I'll be free because of your bravery, so thank you. Now please, open up. One more and then it'll be over." I gently stroke the hair out of her face in an attempt to comfort her.</p><p>What the hell am I doing? Have I really gone crazy? I don't feel like myself anymore. What have I become? </p><p>She spits a huge glob of blood in my face. "Fuck you! Fuck you, Claude! You damn psychopath! Get off! Get the fuck off of me!" </p><p>She starts thrashing with her whole body and violently shaking her head from left to right to make sure I can't make another cut. </p><p>"Stop. Leonie, don't do that. Stop!" I grab the strands of hair I was stroking just now and hold her head in place. </p><p>She bares her bloody teeth at me and quite literally growls. </p><p>"You've always been a fighter. I really admire that about you. I had so many things I wanted to tell you about. Things I learned and everything that happened out there. But I'll spare you the trouble of having to listen to me in your last moments. I'm sorry, but I can't save you. You're a necessary sacrifice, so don't hold this against me, okay?" </p><p>I take the dagger back into my hand and move it over to the lower half of her face again. </p><p>"Maybe it'll be less scary for you if you close your eyes. I promise I'll make it quick." </p><p>She presses her lips shut tightly, not allowing me to put the blade in her mouth again. </p><p>"Alright. I'll wait then. I think it'll be easier for me to hold out anyway." I use my sleeve to wipe the blood off that she spit in my face earlier. </p><p>As soon as I'm finished, she spits again. "Why can't you be the one who sacrifices himself, huh?! Why is it always someone else who has to suffer, just for you?! Die, Claude! You deserve it more than anyone else!" </p><p>Why would she say that? How dare she tell me that, when I literally came back here to try and save her? I was already free, but I returned for her. And this is her thanks? Spitting blood in my face and telling me to die? </p><p>How dare she? I've done nothing wrong. She'd die, even if it weren't for me. She's a necessary sacrifice. Not just for me, for everyone. </p><p>Instead of answering, I take the dagger once more. She, again, clenches her lips shut. </p><p>"That won't save you, you dumb bitch. I told you, you're a necessary sacrifice. And necessary sacrifices should just die already." Instead of putting the blade between her lips, I just start the cut from her cheek down to her lip. </p><p>It feels much better than the first time I cut her, and her screams sound so much better too... </p><p>Wait, stop! What the fuck? What the hell has gotten into me? </p><p>I feel like I just woke up from a dream.</p><p>I can quite literally see the stone glowing red now. Is this stone's power what's getting to my head? This is incredibly dangerous. I need to get rid of this stone quickly, before it gives me more of those psychotic thoughts. </p><p>Once more, I take the stone into my hand and it actually gives me some sort of electrical shock. It's almost as if it's alive, the way it pulses and… vibrates? </p><p>"Now, bury it inside of her!" Rhea orders. </p><p>Perhaps her mind was taken over by these stones too. I suddenly don't find it a weird idea at all. </p><p>Leonie is still struggling as she screams and cries, but I need to shut it out if I want to get this over with. Just a bit more… </p><p>I use the dagger to force her jaws open. Because of her struggling, I actually have to dislocate her jaws in order to keep them from closing. </p><p>She screams and fights against me, and I really don't blame her. Her knees have been digging into my back the whole time and I'm sure that I'll have bruises later. I suppose she deserves to hurt me as well, since I'm hurting her too. </p><p>I quickly shove the stone into her mouth and press it inside as far as her throat allows me to. She makes choking sounds through her screams and it becomes harder to shut her out. </p><p>"Deeper. It's not far enough yet!" Rhea encourages me. She sounds like a madman, just the way I'm feeling. </p><p>I'm so fucked up. </p><p>Despite how I'm feeling, I still push the stone deeper into her throat, to the point where it's entering her windpipe. It's completely in her mouth now, covered in blood and saliva. I can faintly hear her breathing, but she's choking and suffocating more than anything. </p><p>°°°</p><p>"Good boy, you've done it. Now step back. It could be dangerous to stay so close to her." </p><p>With trembling hands, my heart in my throat and sweat all over my body, I step out of the cage. Rhea walks over to me quickly and actually takes hold of my shaking body. </p><p>"You did it. I'm so proud," she mutters as she wraps her arms around me. </p><p>I actually wrap mine around her in return.</p><p>It's so warm. I don't care that this is Rhea. I need this hug. I need any kind of comfort I can have, even if it's from this monster. </p><p>"Hush now, sweetheart. It's over. Let's return to my room so you can clean up a little." </p><p>I just can't stop sobbing into her robes. I do make sure to rub as much of Leonie's blood over her clothes as I can though. </p><p>And this was only the first step of my alliance with Rhea. Part two will be Edelgard. </p><p>At least I won't be the one to kill her. </p><p>"Rhea?" I start. </p><p>"Yes, my child?" </p><p>Ugh, that does not sound right at all. "Was Solon the only one who knew that infection spell?" </p><p>She chuckles. "How funny that you said his real name. But no, Seteth knows it as well. I'm the only one who didn't learn it, because I'm not very good with magic." </p><p>His real name… "What's your real name? And Seteth's?" </p><p>She glances over at me. "So nosy," she comments as she wipes a stray tear from my cheek. </p><p>"Well, we're allies now," I reason. "And you know about everything about me, so it's only fair that I know things about you too." </p><p>She chuckles again. "My, how bratty. Alright then, I'll tell you our names. Mine is Kronya, and Seteth's is Thales. He's actually the big brain behind everything. I honestly just follow his instructions." </p><p>Seteth, no, Thales was the brain? So Rhea, uhm, Kronya is no more than a fucking sidekick after all? I chose the wrong target here. If I take out Seteth- no, Thales, Rhe- Kronya will be rendered useless automatically. </p><p>And here I am, wasting my time on Kronya. </p><p>This is fine. No fucking worries here, I'm completely chill. Except that I just murdered Leonie, but that's fine. </p><p>Ugh, fuck. I'm so close to losing my mind. I'm going to go crazy, I'm sure of it. Is there no way for me to stay grounded? Can I rely on someone to help me keep a clear head? But who? </p><p>The more time I spend with Kronya, the more I feel like I'm starting to lose myself. I'll get away from her and look for Thales right away. But what should I do after I find him? </p><p>I obviously need him to cast the magic on Edelgard, since he's the only one who can. Would he help me if I asked? Maybe I need some kind of proof from Kronya to let him know I'm on their side. </p><p>"Rhe-Kronya? Will Thales know that I'm not your enemy anymore?" </p><p>"Hmm, perhaps. Do you need something from him?" </p><p>Seems I'll have to include Kronya after all, despite that she's practically useless to me. "Well, I was going to have Thales cast the magic spell on Edelgard. She explained to me that she survived your experiments, and what that did to her. That's why I figured it'd be a good idea to have her transform so that she's strong enough to take care of your enemies." </p><p>She considers my plan for a moment before her eyes start to twinkle. "That's an amazing idea! Let's do it. I'm in!" </p><p>Well, this is awkward. I've never seen Kronya act this excited. I don't really know how to react. </p><p>"Uhm, I'm doing it by myself though. It'll be suspicious if someone sees us walking or talking together. Right now, everyone still trusts me, so..." </p><p>There's no way I'll let her fuck up my plans now instead of my Traitors. I'm doing this by myself. </p><p>As comedic as it is, she actually pouts. This can't be real. "Okay, I see. I don't know where Thales is right now, so you'll have to look for him yourself. Let me clean you up before you leave though." </p><p>"Okay." </p><p>She leaves her chamber to get something to clean my face with. At least I think so. </p><p>Either way, it's weird to be by myself right now. I still have the dagger she gave me before. </p><p>The dagger I killed Leonie with. </p><p>I shake my head. I want to forget about this as soon as I possibly can, but I know I won't be able to. Not in a long time. </p><p>But I just did what I had to, right? I didn't have a choice. If I hadn't done it, she might even have suffered much more. So I'm not the bad guy here, am I? </p><p>That can't be right. I didn't do anything wrong. </p><p>I run a hand through my hair. I'm only doing what I have to. That's all. </p><p>And what I'm about to do to Edelgard is just a part of that. A part of what I have to do. If I want to end this nightmare, this will be the way to do it. Regardless of the ethics of my actions.</p><p>After a few minutes, Kronya returns with a bowl of water and a small cloth to clean my face with. She approaches me as she wets the fabric and starts wiping the smudges off my face. </p><p>I feel as if she greatly misses the opportunity to bear children. Not like she should have any in the first place, no one's waiting for small psychopaths. </p><p>"There, good to go!" </p><p>I nod. "Thanks. So uhm, what's going to happen to Leonie now?" </p><p>She gestures at me that I shouldn't worry about that. "I'll be taking care of that. You go and find Thales to tell him about our plan." </p><p>"My plan," I correct her. </p><p>"Yes, sure. Go." </p><p>I don't trust her change of attitude. Either she's trying to fool me in return, or she's actually starting to see me as her baby. </p><p>A shiver runs down my spine at the thought. Don't even go there, Claude. </p><p>I do take my leave though. I'm getting out of here as quickly as possible. </p><p>The first place I go to is the library. If I at least secure Edelgard's location, that'll help a lot. And if she's not there, I'll have plenty of time to look for Dimitri to have him tell me where she is instead. </p><p>Although it's extremely unlikely he lied to me, I can't know for sure until I see Edelgard at the place he told me she's supposed to be.</p><p>Thankfully, the library isn't too far from Rhea's, no, Kronya's chamber. It's gonna take a while for me to get used to those name changes. </p><p>But at least I'll get to the library quickly… or so I thought. When I arrive, I can see a fairly large crowd of people gathered in front of the entrance. </p><p>"What in the..?" I create a path through the people by pushing them aside. </p><p>I receive a few comments, but they stop immediately once they see it's me who's pushing. I suppose being the scum of the monastery has its perks too. </p><p>"What's going on?" I ask the person who's standing right in front of the entrance, blocking the way and line of sight for everyone who wants to see what's going on inside. </p><p>I try, but I can't see anything either. </p><p>"None of your business, you rat. Just get the hell outta here!" </p><p>God fucking damn it. </p><p>Without any further ado, or even any consideration of the situation, I pull out my dagger and press it against the guy's fat stomach. </p><p>"You can let me through, or I'll stab a hole in this nice, blown up belly for you. If you're lucky, you'll lose some weight. If you're not, you'll lose your life. What's it gonna be, sir?" I'm really changing into a monster.</p><p>"Woah, easy there. Put the knife away, okay? I'm just tryna make sure no one gets involved in this fight that's going on inside. That's all. Here, you can pass, no problem." He steps aside without any further comment. </p><p>I put the dagger away immediately to prevent anyone else from seeing it.</p><p>"Thanks," I tell the guy as I step inside. </p><p>If I'm being completely honest, having people fear me and listen to me this easily feels amazing. I might actually get used to this.</p><p>He blocks the entrance again behind me, but I no longer care about what's happening outside. Inside the library, almost every bookcase has tumbled over. Books are literally everywhere and they're still flying through the air. I can feel remnants of magic tainting the atmosphere in here. </p><p>What the fuck is going on?  </p><p>I look around the space to see the culprits, but I don't see them right away. The dude did say someone was still fighting in here, so where are they? I take another step inside the library when all of a sudden, someone grabs me from behind.</p><p>"Ahahaha, just perfect! One wrong move and I'll kill your dear, beloved Claude!"</p><p>I can't move my arms anymore and from the corner of my eye, I see some kind of purple magic in one of my capturer's hands. I'm being held hostage for whatever reason. </p><p>You have got to be kidding me. Of course I walk right into a fight between Sete- no, Thales and somebody else. This was just what I needed after the incident with Leonie. </p><p>"Let him go!" Another voice screeches from somewhere in the back.</p><p>...Dimitri? What is he doing here? Is Thales threatening Edelgard? He shouldn't be in the library, and neither should Thales. </p><p>"You know what I want," Thales tells Dimitri. "I won't let Claude go until you give me that." </p><p>Dimitri has something Thales wants? What could that be? </p><p>It stays quiet where Dimitri was. Don't tell me he's considering giving Thales what he wants just for my sake. </p><p>Shit. What do I do? Can I even do something? Whatever Dimitri does, he can't kill Thales. I still need him.</p><p>I try to squeeze out of Thales' hold on my arms, but he just presses his magic closer to my face in response. "Don't try anything funny, boy. I'll kill you." </p><p>I focus on the area I heard Dimitri's voice in, but I can't see him. The library is rather dark because of the lack of windows, and because of the chaos inside, most of the candles have gone out. </p><p>This makes it really hard for me to try to communicate with Dimitri. That doesn't leave me with much choice; I'll have to convince Thales instead. </p><p>"It's pretty convenient that I ran into you so quickly," I tell him in a whispering voice. I can't let Dimitri hear us. "Really saves me the trouble of looking for you all over, sir Thales." </p><p>I make sure to stress his name, so he can hear that I was with Kronya before. </p><p>"You..! How do you know my name? Did that moron tell you?!" </p><p>"Yes, Kronya did-" I stress her name as well. "-since I'm siding with you. I came looking for you because I need a favor." </p><p>He laughs, but lowers his voice as well. "And what gives you the idea that I'd believe you? You're nothing but a rat, always have been. How do I know you aren't up to something?" </p><p>Fair point. It's hard for me to say out loud what I just did to Leonie, but I suppose I have to right now. </p><p>"You can ask Kronya. Just now I… I turned Leonie. Her b-blood is still on my dagger if you don't believe me. I need you to attack Edelgard with that infecting spell and turn her, that's why I came here." </p><p>He ponders over my words for a moment. The hand with the magic spell gradually moves away from my face and the magic disappears from his hand as it starts searching my body for the dagger I mentioned. </p><p>He takes it out of my waistband and holds it in front of his face. "Beautiful. I always knew you were fit to be one of us. We welcome you, Claude. But I might have bad news for you regarding Edelgard. I sent Hubert after her, so I don't know her current whereabouts." </p><p>Shit. So he found her. Is that why Dimitri is here too? To stop him? </p><p>What do I even do about Dimitri? If he's here to protect Edelgard, that means he either wants to help me, or her. He wouldn't want to help her though, and he still has plenty to make up for regarding me.  </p><p>Can I use him? I think I could convince him to help me with my plans, but he's just too unstable for me to rely on. </p><p>But he might be what I need to keep myself from going insane. When he's himself, he can comfort me, support me, care for me. </p><p>But his other personality is just too unpredictable.</p><p>"Ah, before I forget," Thales continues. "She might not even be alive anymore. What will you do then?" </p><p>What will I..? If I can't use Edelgard, then… </p><p>...Lysithea?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi Hiiii!! </p><p>Pls enjoy my new chappie :) </p><p>Comments and kudos are much loved and appreciated! </p><p>(Oh it might be confusing, but thales and seteth are the same person. Dima doesn't know thales' real name so still refers to him as Seteth)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"She might not be alive anymore. What will you do then?" Thales asks.</p><p>If I can't use Edelgard, then… Lysithea?</p><p>Well, what other choice do I have? I don't know anyone else with white hair like hers or Edelgard's. If I want my plan to succeed, then…</p><p>Argh! I agreed with myself that any deaths would be necessary to obtain a greater good, but I just can't convince myself that Lysithea is the one who has to be sacrificed for this. </p><p>Suddenly Ferdinand's theory on what was going on between Hubert and Edelgard comes to mind. He said that Hubert loves her, but that she must have rejected him. </p><p>If that's really true, then there are two options; either Hubert really does love her and wouldn't want to hurt her in any way, or he's angry and he wants to get rid of her. </p><p>The latter honestly wouldn't surprise me one bit. </p><p>Then, if Edelgard is dead, I'll have to use Lysithea. But that's only when I personally confirm that Edelgard isn't with us anymore. Until then, she'll stay my main target.</p><p>Lysithea is my last resort.</p><p>"I have an idea," I tell Thales. </p><p>He nods back at me with a wicked grin.</p><p>Dimitri's been awfully quiet over there in his corner. I'm hoping he hasn't overheard Thales and myself talk. If he has, there's less chance of him willing to help me still. </p><p>And I really can't have him kill Thales. Thales is my only hope of succeeding. And I'd hate it if Leonie's death will end up being in vain. </p><p>"Thales, give me a few seconds to talk to Dimitri. He listens to pretty much everything I say, so you don't need to worry about his intentions," I explain. </p><p>He huffs. "Me, worried? Hah! As if. I could kill the both of you with just a snap of my fingers. Perhaps you should be the one to worry."</p><p>I shrug. I'm pretty much used to these death threats by now. If I just keep my false word for now, he won't feel threatened by me. And Dimitri is still alive, so there's a reason why Thales is sparing him. </p><p>"I'll be right back then," I say as I wriggle my arms out of Thales' hold on me. </p><p>I really want to know why he's sparing Dimitri though. </p><p>"Dimitri?" I call out. I wait a few seconds for an answer, but I don't immediately receive one.</p><p>"Dimitri, you still here?" He couldn't have escaped, could he? </p><p>There's only one entrance and I was near it. I would have seen him leave if that's the case.</p><p>Then maybe… </p><p>My eyes grow big at the thought. My heartbeat picks up and fear settles in my body as if it belongs there. </p><p>"Dimitri? Dimitri!" I head over to the corner where I heard him before, but he isn't here. </p><p>There's no way he died. Not Dimitri, of all people. He can't leave me like this..! </p><p>"What did you do?!" I turn back around to face Thales again. "Where is he?!" </p><p>I can see Thales take in a quick breath, almost like a gasp. "He should be here somewhere." </p><p>Is he worried too? Then Dimitri really must have something valuable to Thales. </p><p>Before I can even blink, one of the chairs flies through the air and right into Thales's stomach. </p><p>He groans in discomfort, and for a second, I'm scared for his wellbeing. I still need him to cast his magic. </p><p>I'm sort of happy to see that the chair didn't damage him as much as it could have, but that moment doesn't really last. </p><p>Right after Thales shakes off the remnants of wood and splinters, one of the candle holders is being shoved right inside his throat. It pierces the skin, leaving trails of blood over Thales' skin and robes. Occasionally, the wound squirts out blood whenever Thales moves. </p><p>Thales' words are barely audible through the wet gurgling and the choking sounds, caused by the blood in his mouth.</p><p>"Dimitri, no! Stop!" I rush over to the two men to try and stop Dimitri from pulling it back out.</p><p>As long as the item stays in Thales' throat, hopefully he'll stay alive long enough until we heal him, or he's transformed either Edelgard or Lysithea. Hopefully not the latter.</p><p>This is really terrible timing. Why does something like this need to happen now?  </p><p>"Claude..? But why?" Dimitri sounds so confused about me stopping him. </p><p>"I'll explain, just keep him alive. We're taking him to the infirmary." I was certain before that Dimitri would follow me since he promised, but he broke that promise in the past. </p><p>I'm suddenly not so confident anymore.</p><p>He furrows his eyebrows as he nods and I can only now register the state Dimitri is in. He looks completely beaten up by all sorts of magic attacks. </p><p>It's obvious Thales was only trying to wear him down, but Dimitri still took some major blows. Although, aside from the physical beating, there is something else going on with him. </p><p>It seems as if he's completely hollow inside. There wasn't even any fondness or affection in his eye when he looked at me.</p><p>Something must have happened before he and Thales got into this fight. But it couldn't be what I said to him, right? He didn't seem so devastated back then, he even had some hope of getting back together with me, so why? </p><p>Why is he so heartbroken? </p><p>Before I can help myself, my hand reaches out to his cheek and gently strokes it. He flinches away from my touch, which makes me pull back my arm quickly. </p><p>I didn't even mean to do that, but Dimitri rejecting my attempt to comfort him stings. All the more reason to why I should just stop caring altogether. </p><p>If even Dimitri doesn't appreciate it anymore, who would? </p><p>"Sorry about that, I don't know why I-" Before I can finish what I was going to say, Dimitri reaches out to grab my hand and lays it back against his cheek himself. </p><p>"Sorry Claude," he mutters softly. "I know I'm not a man worthy of you yet, but I just can't help myself. I still want to be with you, despite knowing I'll only disappoint you or hurt you again." </p><p>It's surprising to find out how easy it is to forget about the presence of a man choking on his own blood. In fact, I can't even remember what I was doing or thinking as I watch Dimitri fondle my hand and fingers. </p><p>"These hands have saved me so many times…" Dimitri murmurs to himself. </p><p>As if burned, he suddenly lets go of my hand and retracts his own. He's too embarrassed to look me in the eyes, so he averts his.</p><p>I'm feeling a bit embarrassed myself now too. His feelings for me are still so… pure and genuine. Even though I've become a monster. </p><p>Either way, I can think again now. I'm reminded by Thales' disgusting wet coughs that he needs treatment, and fast. </p><p>"Uhm, let's just get him to the infirmary quickly, before it's too late."</p><p>"R-Right," Dimitri stutters. His cheeks are a bright pink.</p><p>Fucking cute.</p><p>Instead of paying more attention to Dimitri, I take Thales' arm and lay it over my shoulders so I can support his weight as we start walking. </p><p>Never thought I'd actually help 'Seteth' once in my life, but I suppose I never thought any of this mess would happen. </p><p>And what's life without surprises? </p><p>"Move! Out of the way!" Instead of waiting for the man in front of the entrance to move, I start pushing him out of my way. </p><p>I'm not managing properly, since I'm half-carrying Thales, so Dimitri takes over the pushing for me. </p><p>He nearly shoves the man aside so I can get through. </p><p>"Hey man! Not cool," the man responds, but none out of the three of us actually pay him any mind. </p><p>Gradually, all the other people blocking the way start moving out of our way as well once they see Thales' condition. Dimitri only has to push about one or two more people aside before we're on our way. </p><p>"Uhm, what about the library?" A woman chases after us, grabbing my sleeve to draw my attention.</p><p>"I don't care, just clean it up," I bark. "I'm kinda in a hurry here, in case you missed that." </p><p>She tries once more, but Dimitri shuts her up for me this time. I decide to keep going without paying them any more attention. I'm in too much of a hurry so I can get Thales to the infirmary quickly. </p><p>And I have no doubt that Dimitri will follow me until I've explained exactly what I'm doing. But that's fine. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone anymore. </p><p>At least for the time being. </p><p>I have no guarantee that Dimitri will stay on my side, let alone help me with my plans. I'd ask, but I'm honestly afraid to hear the answer. I'll just leave it up to him. He can decide whether he'll help me or not. </p><p>Footsteps catch up with me and I don't need to check to know it's Dimitri. "So, uhm, are you sure you want to go to the infirmary..?" </p><p>What kind of question is that? "Well, yeah. Where else can I expect him to be treated?" </p><p>"Since it's Seteth, wouldn't it be better to bring him to Rhea? Since, well…" </p><p>"Since what? Spill it." </p><p>He stalls another second before he answers. "Well, Y-Yuri is… still there… probably. And Linhardt too, right? At least, I think I saw him there before. They might not understand why you're helping Seteth right now, so…" </p><p>Right, Yuri. Fuck. I don't want to see him right now. Or rather, I don't want to see him ever again. He completely destroyed my trust. Scratch that, he completely destroyed whatever sanity I had left, along with any faith I had in other humans.</p><p>It's unbelievable how much I've been through. And how much I've suffered because of all that. </p><p>Never again. </p><p>He mentioned Rhea, but I don't think she's still in her chamber. She still had to take care of whatever is left of Leonie.</p><p>Just my luck. My only option is the infirmary after all. Well, shouldn't waste any time getting there then. </p><p>I also kinda want to see Yuri to hopefully cause him some pain. </p><p>"We're already on our way though. Can't afford to take a detour," I reason. "I just hope professor Manuela is around." </p><p>"Professor Manuela..." He repeats, but then goes into some trance-like state. </p><p>He stops moving and just stares. </p><p>"Dimitri? What are you doing? We gotta keep moving, come on." I take a few more steps, but Dimitri doesn't follow me. </p><p>God damn, I don't have time for this! If he's not coming with me, I'll just leave him behind. I don't know how much longer Thales can hold out for me. If he dies, it's the end. </p><p>And if that happens, of course, it'll be another person who ruined my plans again. And this time it's Dimitri. I hate that I hurt his feelings before, but if I can't leave this place because of this stupid mistake of his, I'll definitely hold him accountable. </p><p>"I'll go ahead first," I let him know as I keep moving forward. </p><p>Thales is getting weaker in my hold and his legs can't keep up with my pace anymore. This is bad. </p><p>After a few minutes of standing completely still, Dimitri looks like he got his shit back together. He hurries after me, as I struggle with keeping Thales upright. </p><p>"Claude, I think I know where to find professor Manuela, but I'm… I'd rather not go there myself if I'm being honest. I'll take Seteth to the infirmary for you if you can look for professor Manuela meanwhile," he suggests.</p><p>Dimitri is physically a lot stronger than I am, so it'd be a relief to have him take Thales off my shoulders. I'm just a bit worried about what he meant. </p><p>"And where am I supposed to find her..?" If I don't like the answer, he can go get her himself after all, whether he wants to or not. </p><p>"Just my dorm… Something happened there and I-" He averts his eye from me again. </p><p>I knew something had happened to Dimitri. He already looked like he'd given up on everything before, but that wasn't anything compared to him now. </p><p>His fists are balls full of different emotions next to his sides, while his face is contorted into a pained grimace. </p><p>I don't know what happened to him, but I'm starting to worry about his emotional wellbeing. Not only is this extremely painful for himself, there's also an increasing chance of His Majesty taking over again. </p><p>I'm in no position to defend myself if he changes right now. Can I do something? Anything to relieve his pain somewhat, even if for just a small while. </p><p>"Here, take Tha- Seteth over to the infirmary for me. I'll go find Manuela. If you feel like you need to let loose, you can use Yuri's face or something. Just don't lose yourself, please." I hope a discreet objective can distract him a little. </p><p>I suppose I'll find out what happened when I get to his dorm, though I'm already fearing the worst. Death has become such a common thing now, that I'm not even surprised anymore. </p><p>I definitely need to put a stop to this, once and for all. </p><p>Dimitri pulls himself together once more, but not without wiping his eyes to rid them of his tears. He takes a deep breath and tries to keep a straight face again, but he fails tremendously. I can't help but feel for him. </p><p>Either way, he still takes Thales' arm from my shoulder to put it over his own and then takes hold of the rest of his now unconscious body. </p><p>It feels terrible to let him leave like this, without even trying to give him any comfort. I don't know what I can to to relieve his pain, but I can at least show him that he's not alone in this. </p><p>So before he takes his leave, I pull him close to me into a hug. "I'll be quick, so don't worry. I won't leave you on your own anymore, I promise. I'll be right there by your side again." </p><p>What am I saying? I shouldn't make empty promises like that! Or actually... is it really an empty promise? My feelings for Dimitri are definitely returning with full force.</p><p>He lets out a loud sob into my shoulder as his fingers clench my shirt tightly. "Thank you. T-Thank you, Claude. I'm sorry. I'll be better for you, so-" </p><p>I decide to cut him off there. "Don't say that. You're already so good to me, baby." He still has these negative, self-degrading thoughts I've always disliked.</p><p>If only he'd have more confidence in himself, I'm sure his other personality would have way less chance to take over for him. </p><p>"I'll be right back, just wait for me," I assure him again. </p><p>He nods, but hesitates with letting me go. </p><p>"What is it?" We don't have enough time to just linger here. I'll comfort him all he wants once Thales' life isn't in danger anymore, so I need him to let go now. </p><p>"Sorry to ask now, but… can I kiss you..? Uhm, no, never mind. Please forget I asked, I should know my place. I'll be off now." He lets go of me completely and makes a move to head over to the infirmary. </p><p>For a second, I don't know what to do. He's obviously craving for some affection, but he thinks he doesn't deserve it from me. And I still haven't made up my mind about whether I want to go there again. </p><p>I do want his company though. I feel like Dimitri is probably the only one who'd go through hell for me. But I don't think I'd do the same for him, and that just isn't fair. </p><p>Nevertheless, he's right here, deprived of affection and comfort from anyone, still fighting for someone who turned his back on him. </p><p>He won't last like this. He won't keep fighting, and I'm sure that his want for just a kiss from me is a last cry for help on his part. He disregarded it rather quickly, but I can tell it was an earnest request. </p><p>If I turn my back on him once more, will he even still be there, waiting for me? And if so, how long will he be able to hold out? His feelings for me are way too strong to be replaced with another person easily. </p><p>I'm possibly the only one who can save him right now. </p><p>If I do, I'll be stuck with him. Well, that sounds more negative than it is, but it's true. I can't leave Dimitri behind once I accept him again now. That means I'll have to take him with me to Almyra, or wherever I'll end up once I'm out of here. </p><p>But that… doesn't even sound so bad. If Dimitri is happy, His Majesty will stay put. As long as Dimitri doesn't face problems he can't deal with, he won't change into a monster. </p><p>I know that Dimitri is a wonderful person. He's beautiful, kind, strong and thoughtful. I know I'll never find anyone better than him, nor anyone who'll love me the way he does. So that's why I…</p><p>"Dima, wait." I took quite some time thinking about this, but at least now I know for sure that I want this. </p><p>He does as I say and stops moving. </p><p>I'm wasting so much time here, but this is definitely something I have to do. I collide my body with his as I take hold of his face and pull it towards my own. I all but crash my lips against his own and I inwardly curse the thousands of butterflies that start to resurrect in my belly. </p><p>"Mmpf." He is surprised, I can easily tell from that sound, but as he opens his mouth and lets his tongue out to lick over my lips, it's obvious he's been yearning for this. </p><p>And subconsciously, so have I. I open my own mouth as well to let him in, and I almost lose my footing as I get to taste him again after so long. Fuck, I've been craving him too. </p><p>Our lips part with an obscenely loud smacking sound, but I can't even feel embarrassed about it. Before Dimitri pulls away from me, I pull him in once more into another kiss. He eagerly kisses me back and it feels so desperate, from both sides.</p><p>I'm desperate for him, but not quite as desperate as he is for me. His free arm is wrapped around my waist and it's practically crushing me with its tight hold. It hurts so good.</p><p>I move one of my hands to the back of his head to keep him from pulling away from me again. My other hand is still resting on his cheek. </p><p>Despite my effort of keeping his head in place, he still manages to put some distance between us. I'm about to protest, but his bright smile shuts me up immediately. </p><p>"I love you, Claude. So unbelievably much." </p><p>Hearing him say that out loud, it gives me an amazingly warm and safe feeling. I was aware of his feelings, but he never really tells me that he really actually loves me. The only time was back when I accepted his feelings after he confessed them to me. </p><p>Now that I think about it, I never said those exact words to him. I've thought them before, but he hasn't heard them come out of my mouth. </p><p>Time to change that. </p><p>"I love you too, Dima." </p><p>Our foreheads are touching and our breathing is mingled. I feel so incredibly close to him and I'm finally willing to admit to myself that I've missed him, and that I still want him. </p><p>I said and thought some unreasonable things out of anger, but in the end, I never actually meant any of those. I easily forgave him for hurting Yuri once I found out why exactly he did that. And it wasn't Dimitri who hurt me either. </p><p>I'll have a talk with him properly once Thales is safe again. About everything, including my plan, my feelings, his characters and our future. </p><p>I do want to be with Dimitri, and if things work out the way I want them to, I'm definitely taking him with me once I leave. We'll stay together. </p><p>"You have no idea how happy you make me, Claude." He's smiling broadly and I feel incredibly happy to see him like that. </p><p>But time is running out for Thales, so we have to cut this short for now.</p><p>"How about you take Thales to the infirmary and when I come back, you can tell me all about it," I suggest. I can't help but smile as well. </p><p>It feels like it's been a long time since I smiled like this, and it's all thanks to Dimitri again. He really is exactly what I needed to keep me grounded. </p><p>"Sounds amazing." He kisses my lips once more and makes it last, to the point where I don't want to pull away anymore.</p><p>But duty calls. Thales already lost consciousness, but he's still breathing. I suppose being an evil wizard has its perks, since he's managing to stay alive even now. </p><p>Killing him will be tough, no doubt.</p><p>"I'll see you in a bit," I tell Dimitri. I don't want to remind him of where I'm heading, since that was really a painful thing for him. </p><p>He nods before he repositions Thales in his hold. "I'll be off then." </p><p>"Yeah." I pause. "I'll miss you," I still add, but softly. </p><p>He doesn't hear it, but I don't repeat myself even as I watch him go. </p><p>It's time for me to head off as well, towards Dimitri's dorm. I wonder what I'll find there, thought I have a good idea of what might be waiting for me. </p><p>Definitely something about his parents. </p><p>I briefly consider checking Kronya's chamber after all, but the idea of seeing Leonie in a monsterform is what makes me decide against it. I'll just have to make sure I'll find Manuela. </p><p>I hurry down the stairs and jog towards the dormrooms. I remember clearly where Dimitri's is, since I was there this morning. </p><p>The sooner I get there, the faster I can go back to Dimitri. I'm feeling like a maiden in love all over again, and I'm perfectly aware that it's distracting me from my goals. </p><p>But as soon as I explain everything to Dimitri, and he'll help me, we can move forward together. </p><p>Now I really can't wait to get out of here. To just run away together with Dimitri and build a life far, far away from this place. </p><p>But that's only if Dimitri decides to help me. I may be wrong, but I feel as though he's softer than I am now. He might not agree with my idea of necessary sacrifices. </p><p>But we'll take care of that when the time comes. For now, I just need to keep Thales alive. </p><p>As I reach my destined hallway, I see some sort of commotion going on in front of the Blaiddyd dormroom. One person in particular catches my attention, mainly because of his bright haircolor. </p><p>"Hey Sylvain, what's going on here?" </p><p>Mentioned guy turns around at my words with a surprised look. "Oh, Claude? Fancy seeing you here. Didn't you meet with Dimitri?" </p><p>How does he know that? Unless Dimitri told him he'd be looking for me. I guess that makes sense, they are good friends after all. </p><p>"Yeah, but I didn't ask. He was already upset, so I didn't want to ask him to talk about it." </p><p>He nods. "That makes sense. What happened here really isn't a pretty sight. I think… No, scratch that. I know that Dimitri did this. He completely lost it, Claude. It was terrifying. I didn't see it happen or anything, but the aftermath on himself was just…" He visibly shudders from the memory. </p><p>"Yeah, that's great and all, but what exactly did happen?" </p><p>He shakes his head. "It's not great, Claude. Far from it. Dimitri, he… He killed his own parents. I don't know any context, but I can imagine they had an argument or something. His parents were always really pressuring and demanding of him, so I can't blame him for finally standing up for himself, but… not like this." </p><p>It was exactly as I feared, except worse. I never imagined Dimitri to have done it himself. Well, if you can even say it was him. I'm sure it was His Majesty who really did it. </p><p>"You said you met with him, right? How was he?" </p><p>I'm a bit taken aback by Sylvain's apparent worry. He isn't usually a person who shows his true colors, nor his intentions. So seeing him so genuinely worried about his friend is kind of a peculiar sight. </p><p>"He was… not really okay. He was obviously hurt, and I daresay he was about to give up entirely. I managed to distract him enough for now, so he's doing a bit better. Either way, is professor Manuela around? I need her to take a look at someone." </p><p>"Man, I'm glad to hear that. Professor Manuela is actually here, yes. She's kinda busy, but I guess I can go get her for you. Right now, she's taking a look at Dimitri's parents, but from what I heard, they're both dead." </p><p>"I'm really sorry to hear," I say, but I don't really mean it. </p><p>Dimitri's parents were controlling, meddling and dominant. I don't really understand the parent-child relationship that well because I don't have one myself, but I can't imagine Dimitri being happy having parents that behave like that. </p><p>In my opinion, parents should support, accept and love their child, regardless of their interests, relationships, dreams or sexuality. And Mr. and Mrs. Blayddid failed horribly at that, so I can't sympathize with them. </p><p>Sylvain nods at me, says his thanks and then walks off to get professor Manuela for me. I'm glad she's still around, if anything. It'd be very unfortunate if I had to run around the monastery to find her. </p><p>"Oh, hi there! I haven't seen your cute face in a long time. Too long, if you ask me." Professor Manuela approaches me with a serious sway in her hips and a small but seductive smirk. </p><p>I kinda forgot how uncomfortable she always made me with her flirty personality. It's not a secret where Dorothea learned her behavior, since she and Manuela spend just a tad too much time together. </p><p>"Yeah, it's been a while. Got a moment?" </p><p>"So hasty. But alright, how can I help you, darling?" Her hand gently strokes the side of my arm. </p><p>I have to do my best to resist the urge of slapping her hand away. I still need her help, so I can't pick a fight right now. </p><p>Sylvain has joined us as well, looking at me questioningly. </p><p>It might be bad if I let him in on my plan, so I decide to be vague. "I found someone who was badly injured. I need you to heal him as quickly as possible. It's a neckwound, so it requires immediate treatment." </p><p>"Oh, that sounds like quite the emergency. Lead the way." </p><p>Without further ado, I turn around and start heading towards the infirmary. </p><p>What Dimitri said before is starting to bother me a little. If Yuri and Linhardt are both still in the infirmary, they really might start questioning my intentions when they see me help 'Seteth'. Now, I don't really care about what they think of me anymore, but they might try to stop me. </p><p>If they do, they'll tell everyone else and then I can't depend on them anymore. Or worse, everyone will be against me. I really do need them though, especially Byleth. He's the one who'll have to take down Kronya and Thales as well. </p><p>I turn towards Sylvain, who's walking with us too. "Don't you think it's better if you stay behind? To comfort those who were close to Dimitri's parents, I mean." </p><p>He squints his eyes at me. "You're trying to keep me away, huh. Why?" </p><p>"Because I feel bad for those who were left behind. And you probably know them, since you're close to Dimitri. I'd stay behind myself, but I doubt I'd be of much use around here." </p><p>He keeps his eyes squinted, but then relents. He shrugs in a defeated kind of way. "I guess Dimitri was right then. I was hoping I'd re-earned your trust by now, but seems I'm still not there yet. I get it, no hard feelings. Just make sure you save that person you're trying to help." </p><p>Dimitri actually told him that I don't trust him? I suppose it's kinda harsh, but it's true. I don't trust Sylvain. It's better that he doesn't come along. </p><p>Sorry bud. </p><p>"Yeah. I'm sure he'll be fine." </p><p>He nods before he turns around and heads back to the group of shocked and grieving people. He wraps an arm around one of the elderly women in a comforting gesture. </p><p>"Well then, shall we go?" Manuela reminds me. </p><p>"Yeah. He's in the infirmary." </p><p>We hurry over to the infirmary, but on my way there, I have a semi-heart attack when I see Dimitri sitting on the floor with Thales' body lying in his arms. </p><p>"Dimitri..?" </p><p>This cannot be real.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I honestly wasn't planning on having Dima and Claude get back together already, but I did it for Cordeliasept :) I really love your comments btw! They make me so happy &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HELLO I'M BACK Y'ALL </p><p>Idk if you missed me but I sure as hell missed YOU </p><p>Also my apologies, my gandma really wasn't doing well for a while but she's recovering again, so thank you for your patience</p><p>Although I still don't know if I'll be able to update regularly again now, I will absolutely try to</p><p>Now without any further ado, finally here is the next chappie :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dimitri? What are you doing?" Did he seriously mess up again? </p><p>He lifts his head to look at Manuela and myself, but he doesn't seem to have any feeling of guilt whatsoever. </p><p>"Oh, there you are," he comments. "I figured it would be better if we didn't go to the infirmary after all, given Yuri is still there. So I just laid down Seteth here and waited for you. Not many people pass this particular side of the hallway, so I haven't received any comments. Oh, and he's still alive." </p><p>He opens his mouth again to say something else, but closes it just as quickly. He looks uncertain of something, but I guess now isn't the time to ask about it. </p><p>Thales still needs treatment, and after that, I'll find a moment to talk to Dimitri privately. I really, really want to have a moment alone with him. </p><p>"Oh, dear! Is that Seteth? What in the world happened to him?" Manuela finally speaks up since we encountered Dimitri. "I don't care about what problem you're having in the infirmary, you boys are taking him there right now!" </p><p>Dimitri looks a bit taken aback at her tone and honestly, so am I. What Dimitri tried to do was actually amazing. I feel like we're slowly getting on the same page thinking-wise. </p><p>But now Manuela still wants to go to that dreaded infirmary, where not only Yuri is, but likely Linhardt as well. </p><p>And where Linhardt is, there's a big chance Lysithea will be too. </p><p>Lysithea… I hope I won't have to use her. Despite the bitter feeling I had when she left me behind after I experienced the final blow to my conscience, I still don't wish to hurt her in any way. </p><p>Edelgard will just have to still be alive. </p><p>Ugh, there's so much to do with so little time. I've got to get Thales back on his feet, I still need to talk to Dimitri and hopefully convince him to help me, I need to find Edelgard and transform her, then warn the inhabitants, lure out Kronya so she'll kill Edelgard, get Kronya killed, then Thales as well. </p><p>Byleth has a lot to do. Poor guy. </p><p>I wonder what everyone else is up to. Are they just casually picking up their old lives as if nothing ever happened? Or are they waiting for me to make a move? Maybe they're actually making their own plan without me. </p><p>If the latter is the case, they won't need me here anymore. I could already leave with Dimitri right now. That would just be perfect. </p><p>As Dimitri and I are carrying Thales, Manuela busies herself with checking his vitals. </p><p>"This doesn't look good," she informs. "What happened to him? Do either of you know?" </p><p>I share a look with Dimitri to let him know I'll answer the question. He's a terrible liar after all. He nods in understanding and gets back to focusing on carrying Thales. </p><p>Now let's see… Thales is still 'Seteth' to Manuela, and the rest of the monastery for that matter. So that means I can't carelessly answer that question. He is still an important figure here.</p><p>If I tell her he was attacked by a student, she might suspect the Traitors. Or worse, Dimitri or myself. Especially since we're both already covered in Thales' blood from his injuries. </p><p>So… A stupid accident then? Would she even believe that? It couldn't hurt to try. </p><p>"He tripped and fell, right on top of one of those candle holders in the library. Truly an unfortunate accident, but it's a good thing we found him in time." </p><p>She furrows her eyebrows, but relents soon enough. I guess how it happened isn't really that important to her. </p><p>"Just hurry and get him to the infirmary." </p><p>Dimitri and I nod as we keep moving into the direction of the infirmary. We're really close now and I'm honestly feeling nervous sweat forming on the palms of my hands. </p><p>What's going to happen once we enter? </p><p>"It'll be okay," Dimitri suddenly assures me. "I'm with you." </p><p>Subconsciously, a smile makes its way onto my face. How is he still so sweet to me, even after everything that happened recently? It's unbelievable. </p><p>"Thanks. That really helps." </p><p>He smiles back at me before he stops moving. We've reached the door to the infirmary. </p><p>We make way for Manuela to open the door so we can carry Thales inside. </p><p>"Oh, you're both still here as well," she announces as she enters.</p><p>Well, that confirms exactly that which I've been scared of. Two people are still inside, who are undoubtedly Yuri and Linhardt. </p><p>Fuck me. </p><p>Dimitri glances over at me, perhaps to see if I'm doing alright. I nod at him, so he nods back. </p><p>I hope today will be over soon. If Manuela can just hurry up with healing Thales, I can get on with the rest of my plan. </p><p>"Can we leave him to you?" I ask Manuela. </p><p>Hopefully she'll understand that I'm dying to get out of here again as soon as possible. I feel as if I can't breathe right now, and I'm sure that it's because of the mob of violet hair I can see from the corner of my eye. </p><p>"I actually only have two beds available," Manuela answers. "Oh, I have a great idea. Why don't you leave Seteth here in Dimitri's strong arms while you and him go and fetch me another bed from the storage room?" She gestures towards Yuri. </p><p>Of course she gestures towards Yuri. </p><p>His eyes widen briefly in surprise as he eyes Dimitri, Thales and myself.</p><p>His head isn't wrapped in a bandage anymore now. There is still a thick band-aid covering the back of his head, indicating the wound Dimitri inflicted on him hasn't healed completely yet.</p><p>Good for him.</p><p>"You are in good enough shape to help out, aren't you, darling?" Manuela runs the back of her fingers over Yuri's cheek. </p><p>Her action makes me feel nauseous, despite how angry I'm still feeling being in his presence. </p><p>"Yeah. I can help out." He already starts making a move to get up from the bed, but there's no way I'm going to let him.</p><p>"I'll just do it myself, thanks. I don't need help, especially from you," I bite. </p><p>His face remains unphased, showing me that he expected a reaction like that. </p><p>"And if you're feeling well enough to get up, just make room for Seteth. He needs it more than you." </p><p>I'm about to turn around again to leave the infirmary and the people inside it behind when a hand wraps around my wrist. I'm secretly hoping it's Dimitri who's planning on coming with me, but of course I'm not that lucky. </p><p>I look up into the eyes of the person who's holding me back, and I can't help the dramatic gasp that escapes my lips when I see Yuri's intense gaze.</p><p>"Sorry, pumpkin, but I'm not staying behind with Dimitri," he tells me in a hushed voice. "I still have to talk to you anyway, so this is convenient." </p><p>He leaves the infirmary before me and drags me along down the hall. </p><p>"Where's the storage room?" He asks casually.</p><p>I honestly can't believe this guy's audacity. He's just talking, conversing with me as if I never saw him betray me. As if he never shattered my already fragile heart. </p><p>So I snap. "Just what do you think you're doing?! Get your filthy hands off me!" </p><p>I practically yank my wrist out of his hold and he turns around to give me a stern look. </p><p>We're just standing there, having an angry staring contest for at least a full minute before he sighs and rolls his eyes. </p><p>"Do you really want to talk here, where anyone can listen in on us?" </p><p>Does he really not get it?</p><p>"No, I don't want to talk to you at all. In fact, it makes me sick just seeing you. Do everyone a favor and go back to your wormlife underground. It suits you." </p><p>Without sparing him another glance, I brush past him to move towards the storage room. The beds have wheels, so I should be able to fetch one without his help. And even if they don't, I still wouldn't ask for Yuri's help, of all people.</p><p>"You don't mean that," he states with all the confidence in the world. </p><p>I take a deep breath to try and calm my frustrations. Would I be agreeing with him if I don't say anything? I don't want him to feel as if I'm admitting that I really didn't mean what I said. </p><p>But I also really don't want to waste my breath on him either. </p><p>"Look, pumpkin-"</p><p>"Don't call me that." </p><p>"Claude, then. The girl you saw me with is Hapi. She's been helping me for years with running things underground. Obviously we're pretty close. Hapi's had feelings for me for a while, or so she told me before I left." </p><p>Is it possible to turn off your hearing? I'd really like to be able to turn off my hearing. I wouldn't have to listen to Yuri's gibberish, nor would I have had to hear Leonie's screams. Oh, and not to forget, all the discrimination and insults I've had to deal with the past years. Yeah, that really sounds delightful.</p><p>"And I know what I did was terrible, you're completely mistaken if you think I don't feel bad about it. But she was just… I already felt guilty for leaving her and the others behind for so long, and she just kept adding to the feeling. It's not wrong to want to comfort someone you care about, is it? And she promised she'd only ask for it this one time." </p><p>Or maybe I could find a way to disarm his voice. Then he could never talk filth like this to anyone again. I'd help so many more people than just myself. But how can I do that? Tear out his vocal cords? I don't even know where those are located. </p><p>"Claude, I'm sorry. I'm so, terribly sorry for what I did. I wasn't sure about whether I should have told you because it'd be just one time and I didn't want to ruin what we had… You believe me right? Please say something. I'm dying here." </p><p>Such drama, much hurt. I'd believe him, really. But there's one thing about his story that doesn't add up. </p><p>"So… it was just once, right? Just the kiss I saw?" </p><p>He takes hold of my hand. "Yes, I promise. I care about her, but not like that. I really just wanted to make her feel better." </p><p>He starts kissing my cheek, then lowers to plant kisses along my jawline.</p><p>"Bullshit." </p><p>His lips move towards my ear. "It's not bullshit. I promise I'm telling the truth," he whispers between kisses.</p><p>"Don't fuck with me." I pull my whole body away from his. The spots where his lips touched me feel warm, but I refuse to enjoy the feeling. </p><p>His eyebrows are drawn together to give off a confused impression. He's really putting all of himself into this act, I can tell. "Claude, pumpkin. I'm not fucking with you. What can I do to prove I'm telling the truth?" </p><p>Laughter bubbles up inside of me and I only barely manage to contain it. A short huff of breath still makes its way out. </p><p>"You want to prove you're telling the truth? Okay, well then… Let's start with answering a simple question. You ready?" </p><p>He nods hesitantly. I hate that I can't tell if he's faking his confusion or not.</p><p>"Okay, here goes; why did Dima attack you?" </p><p>"Because he's psychotic. 'S that all?" </p><p>Okay no, but also yes. Dima is psychotic, but that's not why he'd attack Yuri out of nowhere.</p><p>It seems my uncertainty is showing, because Yuri opens his mouth to hopefully elaborate his answer without me having to ask.</p><p>"I mean… He attacked you before, didn't he? You, the person he loves the most. It's not that strange for him to want to get rid of me, is it? Back in Remire, I had a conversation with him, remember that? When I convinced him that both he and myself were needed to make you happy? He made it very clear to me that he wasn't interested in me in the slightest, and that he only agreed to get close to you again." </p><p>I squint my eyes at him. Despite how much sense that makes, I refuse to believe Dimitri would lie to me. Dimitri told me Yuri was being unfaithful way before Yuri claims he actually did cheat.</p><p>"When Dimitri was stuck in bed because of his eye-injury, he obviously couldn't do much about my presence," Yuri continues. "And then you disappeared, so there was no reason for him to attack me before we found you again. Then we did, and not soon after we split up again, he came after me with the pure intention of getting rid of me. So, I'm sorry, but I didn't find your friend Leonie. Maybe we can team up for now and look for her on our own, without anyone else interrupting." </p><p>Ah, fuck, that's right. I told Yuri to look for Leonie. A wave of shame and guilt washes over me and I can't bring myself to look into his eyes. </p><p>"I, uhm, I already found her. ...She's a lost cause." </p><p>He stays silent for a while and it's making me uncomfortable. He'd better not press the matter though, I'll shut him out again. </p><p>He's lucky I'm granting him an answer at all.</p><p>"...I see. Then there's no reason to continue looking for her. Is there anything else you're currently working on? I'll relieve some weight off your shoulders." </p><p>I shake my head. "Don't think I've forgiven you, or that I even believe you. You're allowed to know that I've wished you dead at least once. I'm not planning on letting you get to me again. I have a plan which I'm executing alone. And don't you try to stop me." </p><p>Without waiting for a response, I resume heading towards the storage room to fetch the bed already. </p><p>Yuri still follows after me, despite my obvious rejection to his advances.</p><p>I don't understand what he's after here. Why is he trying so hard to get me back when he has Hapi? Is there some sort of truth to his words after all? But Dimitri wouldn't lie to me, I can say that with confidence. </p><p>"I suppose it's my own fault that you don't believe me, since we didn't start off so smoothly, but don't you think you're being unreasonable here? You're intelligent enough to know that what I said makes perfect sense. And besides, Dimitri is emotionally unstable, so he might have thought he saw something when there was really nothing going on-"</p><p>"Can you just shut up? Do you really think you're that important to me? I don't need you when I have Dimitri. You have your little girlfriend to take care of your needs, so don't force them on me. I'm over you." </p><p>I grab the headboard of one of the beds and start pulling on it. If I can just get this to the infirmary quickly, I can hopefully either talk to Dimitri or go and find Edelgard. </p><p>"Okay, if you're really convinced that I'm lying, there isn't much I can do. But is there really no way for us to get back together? I mean, I'm useful enough to keep around, and I'm everything Dimitri's not. There's a reason why you thought you needed the both of us, remember?" He grabs the other end of the bed to help me move the bed.</p><p>"Do you know what 'shut up' means? Just zip it already, I'm not interested." </p><p>"You don't know what you got until it's gone," he retorts.</p><p>I just roll my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. You're not that special." </p><p>"Can I flatter you then?" </p><p>Instead of pulling on the piece of furniture, I push it into Yuri's stomach. He grunts quietly. </p><p>"Harder," he taunts. </p><p>For a second I consider actually slamming the bed into his groin, but I decide against it. I just told him I wouldn't let him get to me anymore, so I won't. Even though it's really tempting.</p><p>"Grow up." </p><p>"The seventeen year old says." </p><p>Is he for real? "Just shut up." </p><p>"Make me." </p><p>I actually take a second to stop moving and give him an incredulous stare. </p><p>"Stop." </p><p>"Or else?" He raises an eyebrow. </p><p>"You're so fucking annoying." </p><p>"You're so fucking hot." </p><p>"If you think this is working in your favor, you couldn't be any more wrong. Now stop being annoying or I'll shove this bed into your crotch." </p><p>"When'd you get so kinky?" </p><p>Without any warning, I do as I threatened to do and ram the bed into his lower stomach. Obviously, he saw it coming and dodges it by stepping back. </p><p>"Coward," I accuse.</p><p>"Can't hurt the babymaker, pumpkin. It's painful." </p><p>"Just stop being so goddamn infuriating! For fuck's sake. Don't talk to me." </p><p>He huffs a laugh and fuck if that doesn't anger me. "You keep responding too. I think you're enjoying this." </p><p>"I'm not." </p><p>"Are so."</p><p>"No, I'm not." </p><p>"You definitely are."</p><p>Instead of replying again, I decide to be the one to shut up. It hurts my pride to not have the last word, but I'll suck it up. </p><p>We've finally made it to the infirmary, but before we enter, Yuri stops us from moving. </p><p>"What now?!" </p><p>He smirks slightly, but then removes it off his face just as quickly. "Sorry, I just want to ask something. What happened to Leonie?" </p><p>Really? Now, of all times? </p><p>I snap my head up and groan loudly. </p><p>"None of your business." I'm about to start moving again, but Yuri still keeps a tight hold on the bed to prevent me from moving.</p><p>"What happened?" </p><p>"You know what, Yuri? Screw you and this fucking bed. It's got nothing to do with you, and I want nothing to do with you either. You seriously have no idea how much it hurt to see you with that woman, it completely tore me apart. Don't talk to me so casually as if nothing happened between us. I'm pissed, and even more so because you're not even taking me seriously. Honestly, just fuck you." </p><p>"I am taking you seriously. I honestly just don't know how to deal with you properly right now. It worked before when I taunted you, but I guess now isn't the right time. I'm sorry. I do want to make it up to you though. Please, please give me a chance." </p><p>"No." </p><p>I open the door to the infirmary and the first thing I see is Dimitri jumping up from his seat. I'm sure he was worried about Yuri and I being alone together. </p><p>"How is he?" I ask. I don't even care who answers, I just want out of my earlier conversation with Yuri.</p><p> "He'll live, thankfully. Although, don't ask me how he did it. Thank you boys for retrieving the bed. You can put it there." Manuela gestures towards the wall on the other side of the space, so that's where I move the bed. </p><p>Yuri stopped helping right after I rejected him, but I can't say I feel bad about it. He totally got what was coming for his cheating ass. </p><p>He walks past me to grab some of the stuff from the bed he was in earlier. Seteth is resting in it now, but he isn't conscious. </p><p>"And that calls himself an adult," I mutter to Yuri as he brushes past me. He hasn't spared me a single glance or whatever, showing just how childish he really is.</p><p>I just couldn't help myself; his comment about my age still bothers me. Between the two of us, I think it's safe to say I'm the more mature one.</p><p>"Did you have a problem?" </p><p>"I did and I still do, actually." </p><p>"I'd help you fix it but you're too keen on doing everything yourself. Just don't start crying again when it doesn't work out the way you want it to." </p><p>"Are you talking to yourself? Because you're the one who looks like he's about to cry." </p><p>"Only mentally disordered people tend to talk to themselves, but I suppose you're into that, right? Perhaps that's why I'm not good enough anymore."  </p><p>"Don't fucking talk about mental disorders when you can't even keep it in your pants for ten minutes when I'm not arou-" </p><p>"Hey, Claude?" Dimitri suddenly interrupts. "Since Seteth is in good hands now, maybe we can start discussing the next part of your plan." </p><p>I run a hand over my face and through my hair. Fuck, I'm really letting Yuri get to me after all. That's not good. </p><p>"Yeah, sounds great. Manuela, is it okay if we come back later to check on Seteth?" </p><p>Mentioned woman nods in response. "Of course. I'll probably be here still, so don't worry about his health. I got it." </p><p>I nod back at her before I take Dimitri's hand and guide him back outside the infirmary. </p><p>"Was… Are you okay?" He hesitantly asks. </p><p>I guess that argument with Yuri caught his attention. Well, at least he doesn't suspect me of doing anything indecent with him. </p><p>I sigh. "Yeah, I guess. Just come here for a bit." </p><p>His one eye widens in surprise before he follows my request. "What is it?" </p><p>I pull him closer to me, to the point where our bodies are touching. I gently nip his jaw with my lips.</p><p>"Just kiss me," I whisper. </p><p>He doesn't waste a second before he wraps his arms around my waist, pulls me closer and presses his soft lips against mine. </p><p>I close my eyes and revel in the feeling of Dimitri's lips massaging mine in the softest way possible. My arms rest on his broad shoulders so that I can gently scratch his scalp. </p><p>He moans softly as he leans in even closer. I can feel one of his hands moving from my hips towards my butt. </p><p>Damn, someone's eager. </p><p>I'm the one to break our kiss this time so I can swat his hand off my butt. He gives me a cheeky smile and a kiss on my lips that's supposed to be an apology. </p><p>Well, apology accepted. I'm glad I didn't fall for Yuri's lies again. Not only would I be caught up in his web of deceit once more, but I'd also make Dimitri unhappy again. He told me before that he didn't like sharing me, so I won't force him to anymore. </p><p>I give him a gentle and sweet kiss on his cheek. "I'm all yours, baby." </p><p>The smile he gives me is so bright, I feel like I'll go blind if I look at it any longer. </p><p>He pulls me close to his body. "I'm so happy to hear that." </p><p>I kinda figured he was worried about Yuri and me being alone, but at least he isn't anymore now. I'm glad I could assure him. </p><p>"So, Dima. How about I finally explain what exactly I'm up to?" I try to create some space between us so I can look into his eye. </p><p>He nods, but his face shifts into something much more serious than it was before.</p><p>Well then, this is it. If Dimitri decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore after I tell him about my plan, I'll be all by myself again. It's not desirable, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. </p><p>Dimitri is absolutely worth it after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THANK ANYONE WHO'S STILL HERE AND READING</p><p>YOU ARE LOVED, BUT MOSTLY BY ME &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HELLOOOOO </p><p>New chappie which is slightly shorter than usual, my apologies I didn't have much time this week</p><p>Because I started a new fic! if you're interested, it's called hAppiness :) check it out if you like! </p><p>Idk if it's terrible to advertise my other fics in one fic but like<br/>I live for hits and kudos and comments so<br/>Thank you very much<br/>:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, Dimitri…" Fuck, I'm nervous. </p><p>Dimitri is looking at me with a big eye, full of expectations. </p><p>I just don't know if I'm about to reach those expectations, or completely disappoint him. </p><p>"Yes, Claude?" He gives me an encouraging nod, but it just adds to my nerves. </p><p>I already made up my mind about everything, but now that it's time to come to terms with it, I realize just how horrible my thoughts are.</p><p>Necessary sacrifices? Collateral damage? People are going to lose their lives for those reasons, and I'm actually perfectly okay with it. </p><p>Dimitri will never work with me if I flat out tell him those exact reasons, so I'll have to make it sound prettier than it is in reality. </p><p>"Well, here's what I was thinking… Like, you talked to Edelgard, right? Did she tell you about the experiments?" </p><p>He nods carefully. </p><p>"Right. Transforming Edelgard with the magic spell is going to be the first step. If she turns into a monster, we can use her power for… well, whatever Edelgard will do, since we probably can't control her. But as she's causing chaos among the inhabitants, we can go and get Rhea to stop Edelgard. Then-"</p><p>"Uhm, Claude, hold on. Why would you unleash Edelgard on the inhabitants? Most of the people here can't protect themselves." </p><p>Ugh, right away. </p><p>"To raise awareness. Rhea and Seteth created Edelgard's monster form, so if the inhabitants see that, they'll realize that their precious saviors have been up to no good." </p><p>He looks doubtful. He's too scared that people will get hurt. </p><p>"Isn't there another way to do that?" He asks. "Can't we just… open the gates for them? So they can see that it's safe outside, just like with Yuri's people? They all escaped too." </p><p>Would that work? But what if they don't want to go? </p><p>"Uhm... Oh! We could still transform Edelgard, but we'll open the gates so the people can flee. How's that?" </p><p>He still looks unsure, but this idea is reasonable enough. The people need to be shocked, they have to start panicking. If they don't, some of them will believe us, and some won't. It'll cause division among them and groups could start rebelling and work against us. That's the last thing we need.</p><p>"Sounds okay… But we'll have to warn them beforehand, so they at least know there's a way out." </p><p>Tch. That's exactly what I don't want to do. It's just Dimitri and myself here, we aren't enough to complete all the tasks ourselves. If we take on the job of warning and evacuating the people, there's no one who can find Rhea on time. </p><p>Or perhaps he thinks I'm still going to include everyone else. </p><p>"We can't. It's too much work for just the two of us. We just need to focus on transforming Edelgard and getting Rhea to stop her. What happens here after that, is not up to us."  </p><p>He furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean? If everyone helps out, we might not even need Rhea. Especially because we have professor Byleth on our side." </p><p>So, how do I tell him I lost faith in everyone because they're fuck-ups without making him feel guilty about his own actions? </p><p>"Actually, I'm not working with them anymore. I was gonna do this by myself, but I kinda don't want to leave you behind, so…" </p><p>Come on, Claude, don't go being shy now. He deserves to know how you feel, so grow some balls and say it. </p><p>"You mean… We're not going to ask the others for help? But why not? Are they not strong enough?" </p><p>Okay, moment ruined. No matter. </p><p>"It's not that. I just don't trust them. I don't believe they're capable enough to pull this off. I just know that one of them is going to fuck up and then everything will be for nothing." </p><p>He stays quiet after that. And so do I. I'm not sure what I can say that could convince him right now. </p><p>He takes a deep breath. "I-I trust you, Claude. With everything I am. But I'm not sure if… I don't know if I want to cooperate with your plan. I don't think it's right to leave everyone else out of this, especially because it's such a dangerous plan. They might get hurt, or worse… And we've all been through so much together and we made it this far, didn't we? With everyone. And, yes, some things didn't go so well, but in the end, we still succeeded. You're super smart, so can't we come up with a plan that involves everyone and keeps them safe?" </p><p>I'm super smart, yes. Dimitri is super emotional, yes. Do those things work together? No. I might be able to think of something that could bring safety to the monastery without making any more victims, but that would mean risking my own life more than with my original plan. </p><p>I don't want to die for these Traitors. I refuse to give up my life when I have indeed come so far. </p><p>"The reason we came so far is me. Because I'm smart. My brains are the only thing that's important to those idiots. They don't care about me, I figured out out that much by now. And sorry, Dima, but I'm not going to risk my life for anyone who doesn't give two shits about me. I'm not taking any more risks. Call it cowardly, call it lame, I don't care. I was planning on playing it safe for myself, so that I could run away like the coward I've become. I'm letting you in on my plan because... I want you to come with me. To run away together and build a future for the two of us, somewhere far away from this place. Doesn't that sound perfect? It's what you wanted, isn't it? To have me all for yourself again. This is the way, I promise." My cheeks feel warm and it's really embarrassing to admit it, but I'm glad I did.</p><p>He stays quiet again as he contemplates my words. He can't refuse an offer like that. There's no way. And if that isn't enough to win him over, maybe it's time for me to reconsider his feelings.  </p><p>"I do want that," he admits quietly. "But I just don't think that's the only way, Claude. There has to be a way to save everyone. If we just think about this, we'll figure it out. We still have time-"</p><p>"Dima, I'm not budging. I'm doing this my way. With or without you, so make up your mind. Are you with me or not?" </p><p>Please, Dima. Please do this with me. I need you, so please…</p><p>Another moment of silence, which carries on for too long for my liking. I'm not confident anymore. I thought Dimitri would do whatever I wanted, whenever I asked. But he's protesting much more than I even anticipated. </p><p>This isn't good. If he refuses me here, he might actually try to stop me. He'll have everyone on his side and they'll all listen to him, because Dimitri is a good and honest leader. </p><p>I might actually have to get rid of Dimitri. </p><p>My eyes start burning at the thought. Tears form and I try my hardest to blink them away. </p><p>"Dima, please…" It's barely a whisper, but he hears me. </p><p>"Why did you change? Why are you so different now? I hardly recognize you, Claude. I-I don't like this version of you." </p><p>I don't like this version of me either. This version of me that killed Leonie, turned its back on friends and became the most selfish person ever. </p><p>But I didn't change for no reason. I changed to protect myself, after having been hurt just one too many times. I changed to stay alive in this hellhole. There's only so much a person can take, and I've reached my limit. </p><p>"Is that a no?" I can't even help the bitterness in my voice. </p><p>Dimitri is the last person I expected to be against me, but if that's how it is, there's nothing I can do. I can't force him to follow me. I can't make him listen to my wishes. </p><p>Oh, but I can try and manipulate him into doing what I want. </p><p>His face is scrunched up in discomfort. He's not happy at all and he probably has no idea what he's supposed to do now. </p><p>Since we're standing in a rather isolated part of the hallway, I have all the room I'd like to convince Dimitri my own way. </p><p>I approach him with slow steps, not breaking our eye contact for even a second. My arms wrap around his waist and I can hear his quiet gasp when my lips make contact with the soft skin on his jawline. </p><p>"Please, Dima. I need you," I whisper inbetween the gentle kisses. </p><p>I move from his jaw to his ear to plant more kisses right underneath his earlobe. His cute reactions spur me on, leading me to press open-mouthed kisses in his neck and on his throat. </p><p>"C-Claude…" </p><p>"Yes, baby?" I know he likes it when I call him that. </p><p>"That feels good," he breathes as he wraps his strong arms around my shoulders. </p><p>I feel so safe and content when he's close to me, I can't give him up now. Not when it feels this good to be with him in the first place.</p><p>I want that future with Dimitri. I want that peace and quiet as we live our lives together. I want to make him happy, and let him make me happy in return. </p><p>"Please, help me. I can't do this without you, baby. Let's run away together and be happy." </p><p>"I want that. God, Claude, I want that so bad, but… That's wrong, isn't it? It wouldn't be right to leave everyone here when we can help them." </p><p>God fucking damn it. Why can't I win him over? Do I really have to get angry with him? Should I be disappointed? I don't want to, but if that's what it takes… </p><p>I pull my head off his throat so I can look him in his eye. "Okay, then tell me how we're going to make that work. I'll listen." </p><p>He blinks a few times. He definitely didn't expect me to put him in charge, that much is obvious. </p><p>"Uhm… What if we… Maybe we could gather our strongest fighters and challenge Rhea. Professor Byleth could surely-" </p><p>"Do you know where Rhea is, then? And professor Byleth? He can't be seen by Rhea or Seteth. And what are you going to do about Seteth in the first place?" </p><p>"Uhm, well, that's… Seteth is hurt right now. What if we take him out first? Then that leaves just Rhea to deal with." </p><p>It's not a bad idea. When I made my own plan, Thales wasn't hurt yet. "That could actually work, but- No, hold on. We don't know who Seteth really is. What if he'll transform when he dies?" </p><p>Shit, why haven't I thought of this before? </p><p>"If Seteth's infused himself with the magic too, there's no way for us to stop him. We can't target Seteth. Absolutely not."  </p><p>Dimitri's eye widens in realization. "That's true… Oh my god, I almost killed him. Okay, I suppose you have a point there. But even still, we can avoid Seteth because he's in the infirmary." </p><p>"Who else is in the infirmary?" </p><p>"Ah, currently that's Yuri and Linhardt, right?" </p><p>I nod. I feel like I'm gaining the upper hand here, which is great. I'll make sure Dimitri and I escape from this shithole and I'll do my absolute best to prevent Dimitri from having any kind of regrets. Whatever idea he'll throw at me, I'll shut it down with logic. </p><p>"That's right. But Linhardt's legs are destroyed, he's immobile. If we want to move Linhardt away from Seteth, we'll have to move him manually. If Seteth notices us, he might wonder why we're moving Linhardt. There's literally no other reason to move Linhardt from the infirmary other than Seteth being in there. He'll know right away that I'm betraying him and then I'll likely be their first target." </p><p>I swear I can see the gears in Dimitri's head turn. He's trying so hard, and I'm sorry Dima, but I'm not budging. </p><p>"Or," I follow up quickly. "You don't mind leaving Linhardt behind. Because then we could just leave him there." </p><p>"You're really making this difficult for me. I'm aware that I'm not creative or intelligent like you, Claude. I'm pretty confident you're just being stubborn and letting me think of a plan instead of trying it yourself. And you knew I was going to fail at it." </p><p>Well, yes. He's right about that, but I was hoping he wouldn't realize. I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway, I can just tell him I thought of lots of different things, but that I just can't find a way to save everyone. </p><p>"I'm not being stubborn. I'm showing you how hard it is to think of a plan. I've thought about it, you know. But with every plan I think of, there's a big chance that someone will ruin their part and everything will just fall apart. I'm not risking it anymore. The few risks I took before never paid off, so why would this one? Tell me, now. Are you with me, or are you not?" </p><p>He pauses, then takes a deep breath, then lets the air all out. He looks so defeated, but now I know I finally won him over. There's no option for him but me. And now I'm confident he'll walk down my road, together with me. </p><p>Good game, Dima. You fought hard, but brain games just aren't your forte.</p><p>"I'm with you, Claude. I'm with you all the way. I'm sorry for doubting you, I didn't think you really considered every option, but… I see now that it really is hard to think of a proper course of action. Just tell me what we'll do first, I'll do whatever you want me to do." </p><p>Before I say anything, I swing my arms around his neck and smash our lips together. He reacts immediately, kissing me back with full force. </p><p>God, I love this man. And his pure heart which I just tainted black with some dark of my own soul. But that's okay. </p><p>I forgive him, and I'm sure Dimitri will forgive me once he realizes that this really was the right thing to do for our own future. </p><p>"Alright, then let's start with finding Edelgard so we can take her to Seteth. We don't have much time anymore, so we need to hurry." </p><p>He kisses me once more before he nods. "Okay. I believe Seteth found Edelgard where I hid her before, so we'll have to ask him where he left her." </p><p>"Sounds good. Let's go." </p><p>We haven't even reached the end of the hallway when I hear quick footsteps run in the opposite direction. </p><p>I look at Dimitri, who looks worried in turn. </p><p>"Was someone listening?" He asks. </p><p>I sure hope not.</p><p>When we turn the corner, I can faintly see the culprit turn a corner on the other side of the hallway. </p><p>And of course, the haircolor was a bright, fiery red.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'M BACK Y'ALL</p><p>I'll try to update regularly, which will be on weekends, but I can't promise anything</p><p>Thank you so much for reading and your patience, it really means a lot to me!! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>